Third Watch: The next Generation
by dustytiger
Summary: all right the wedding, the epilogue, and lucky number thirteen all rolled into one fic, pls take time to review this one!
1. Alex

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Alex  
AUTHOR: trista groulx  
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language (could change as the series progresses)  
SUMMARY: a look at the next generation of thrid watchers, using both the kids from the show, and some that i made up. who are now old enough to follow in their respective parents footsteps.  
AUTHORS NOTES: each story will be a vinigrette from a different charcter's POV, this one will be from Alex's you'll have to read on to find out who she is. the ages of each charcter will not nessacirly reflect the show because as you'll see Emily and Charlie will end up being about the same age as everyone else, which will not make sence. Joey's age will fit the show though.  
WARNINGS: certain orginals will have died, and their deaths may be explained as i feel fit. there are potential spoilers up to the end of season five, so if you're not that far on TV then don't blame me i spoil something for you... please tell me what you think trista aka the dustytiger 

When I arrived in New York, everywhere I looked made me think of my mother. Anywhere I went I wondered if she had been, seen or even had some kind of special memory attached to it. She talked a lot about how much she loved New York, and when I first came to the city I could not figure out why. It seemed so dirty, and overcrowded, but I soon began to see its charms. Especially after I started seeing the city as she had, whizzing by in my bus, ambulance, that is. I even applied at the same house as my mother, and got a position there! I could hardly believe that I was going to walk in my mother's footsteps. I still remember my first few days there, I never would have thought I would find so much of my mother's past when I first started work.

I walked into the house, which was a little run down, but if it was around since my mother's medic days, I could understand. There were two other people there, who I soon learned were named, Emily Yokas, who became my partner, and Carter Nieto, a firefighter, like my dad. My name, since I seemed to have forgotten that, is Alexandra Doherty, but everyone calls me Alex. My mother, Kim, had been medic until she moved after my father, Jimmy, got a promotion at a different stationhouse. He's now retired. My mother, on the other had died trying to do what she did best, helping a person who was hurt in an accident. I know that they named me after a woman who had also worked at the same firehouse, as both a medic, and a firefighter. I was told that she was great at both jobs, and was killed because she was trying to comfort a dying woman. There was no way to get her out of the car, and the always compassionate Alex kept close. The car blew up, and Alex Taylor was killed almost instantly.

So the story goes, as soon as my mother found out I was going to be a girl, she was going to name me after her fallen friend. I hoped that somehow while I worked at that firehouse, I would learn not only more about the woman I was named after, but also about who my parents were before they moved from New York. First we moved to Brooklyn, and when I was only three we all moved to Boston.

"So you must be Alex," said Emily. "My name is Emily, and you're going to be riding with me." "All right," I said, a little intimidated, she was very intense person and sounded pissed off at me. "Nice to meet you." I held my hand out.

She shook my hand almost crushing it with her grip. "I'll show you upstairs."

"Where's Leo Black, the guy that interviewed me?"

"He's on a call, he doesn't like to train, so he's leaving you up to me."

"I'm not exactly a rookie, I did work for two years in Boston."

She shook her head. "You're an NY virgin, girl, this is going to be nothing like Boston."

"I can handle it."

"We'll see." She started giving me the tour. "Over there is where the fire guys shower, not a place you'd really want to step foot in, it's pretty gross. This is our changing area, and your locker is here. Leo thinks this uniform should fit, but he's pretty bad with ladies sizing, so it might be big."

Emily then went downstairs, while I got changed. When I got down I realized why the one guy was sitting around while everyone else was gone, he had a cast on his foot.

"Em's in the, bus I wouldn't take long to catch up," he warned.

"Thanks."

"I'm Carter, by the way. Despite being an interim janitor, I'm usually a firefighter.."

"Is Emily, always so, friendly?"

"This is New York, Rookie, that's about as nice as the locals get!"

"Thanks, for the heads up!"

He seemed nice enough, too young to have known my parents though, I really hoped that I could find someone who had worked with them, or even knew of them. I ran out to the only running bus. Sure enough Emily was in there, getting everything ready for the day. I tried to help out, but she didn't seem to like what I was doing.  
"Don't bother, till you know how I like things," she warned.

"So there's no room for compromise?" I asked.

"Maybe when you prove yourself."

"So am I going to be riding with you permanently?"

"If you don't know what the hell you're doing I really hope not!"

Funny how things work out, Emily and I sill ride together, a year later, and we've actually become friends. I did end up proving myself that first day out, it was a heavy day, even for New York Emily would tell me later, and I kept my head. She seemed surprised when she saw me back the next day.

"I thought you'd crack under the pressure, Doherty," she laughed, when I came in.

"Thanks," I said with mock enthusiasm.

An older guy who was sitting with Carter looked up. "Doherty?" he asked. "Any relation to Jimmy Doherty?"

I looked at him, puzzled. "How do you know my dad?"

Carter shook his head. "He's an old timer that used to work here. He sometimes comes back for nostalgia's sake."

"You worked with my parents?" I asked.

"Looking at you, closely now, I can see why you look so familiar. You look exactly like your mom," he said.

"Who are you?"

"Carlos Nieto."

"This isn't really a good time for a trip down memory lane," Emily reminded.

"I should get changed."

"How about I meet you back here, when you're off shift? I'll bring my wife, cause she worked here too, if you want to hear the stories we can all go out for coffee."

I smiled. "I'd love that, thank you."

"By the way, I'm sorry, I heard you mother died a few years ago, I tried to get down for the funeral, but it was impossible to get time off then."

"That means a lot, really. I'm Alex by the way." I shook his hand, and went upstairs.

I went through the day, almost giddy. I'm surprised I didn't make any mistakes, I was glad that Emily had not noticed my mood that day. I could hardly believe that when I got off I'd be able to talk to two people that actually knew my parents. I wondered if they also knew my namesake.

When I got back to the firehouse, Carlos was there as promised, with a blonde woman, who had a smile plastered on her face. It didn't even look fake, she just looked like the kind of person who always smiled.

"Hi! I'm Holly!" she said, putting out her hand.

"Hi," I said shaking her hand.

"So you said something about coffee?" I asked looking at Carlos.

"Yeah, there's a place a few blocks from here." We walked over, and went inside. "How long have you been in New York?"

They steered me toward a table. "I've only been here three weeks, it's so much different then I thought it would be."

"Do you like it here?"

"Yeah." I went to stand up to go to the counter.

"Don't worry, Sweetie, how do you take your coffee?" asked Holly.

"Um, I know this going to be strange, but just sweetener," I replied, she nodded and went to the counter, letting us stay where we were.

"That's how your mother took her coffee," Carlos commented.

"You remember that?" I asked.

"Only because I lost a bet once, and had to be her coffee boy for a month."

I laughed. "You must have had some great times."

"We did."

Holly came, and sat down next to him, she got one of the guys at the counter to bring my coffee over. "Thank you," I said, he gave me a funny look.

Holly laughed. "I told you I wasn't the only person in New York that still thanks people," she told her husband. She then looked at me. "You could be Kim's double, but you have Doherty's eyes."

"No one has ever told me that before," I replied.

"I bet that's because no ever really looked at of your eyes before."

"I guess."

"So are you named after Alex Taylor?" Carlos asked.

"Yeah, did you know her too?" I asked hopefully.

"We had a hate hate thing going on."

"Oh."

"Everyone else loved her though. We just got off on the wrong foot, I think. Besides, I was very immature when she died, I didn't grow up until later."

I nodded. "Mom told me some strange stories about you."

He laughed. "Not all bad I hope."

"I'm just glad she didn't take your advise on my name."

He grinned. "She had such a great sense of humor."

"Yeah, I miss her."

"How old were you when she passed?" asked Holly.

"I was twelve."

She nodded, then Carlos said, "So Joey would have been about twenty?"

"Yeah, he was going to take his firefighter's test before she died. Then he became a lawyer."

"That's a career change."

"The guy who hit Mom, got away."

He nodded. "How did she die? I've never really heard story."

"She was out shopping one day, after she dropped me off at school On her way to the mall she had seen a minor fender bender. She knew that the response times in the city were pretty shitty at the time, so she decided to just do a preliminary check on the victim. There was a baby, and his mother in the car. Both of them were fine, but the woman had hit her head. She wanted her to stay where she was until the paramedics arrived. The woman asked for her baby, so my mom took the baby his car seat, and gave him to her. She then decided to go make sure that the other driver had, in fact, called for help. As she was walking to her car, another car came by. He didn't slow for the three cars off to the side, and was hugging the line. He didn't swerve in time, and hit her straight on. She died instantly. Dad was the person that found her." I was sniffling by the end, as was Holy.

"You can take the woman out of the uniform, but her heart was still in it," Carlos mumbled.

"It was hard on all of us, Dad hasn't even dated since."

"And they say they can't teach an old dog new tricks," he said trying to lighten the mood. "So how did he got off?"

I shook my head. "The fire trucks got to the scene before the medics, but after the cops. Dad tried working on Mom but knew it was going to help, he was the first person to know that she was dead. The other guys tried working on her while he went to find the guy who had hit her. He punched him in the head as the cops were reading him his Miranda rights. When he came to he didn't remember being read them, and the cops didn't re-read them before questioning him. When it went to court it was his word against the cops, and they didn't believe Dad for a second, and the guy got off on a technicality. It got to Joey, and he decided his time would be better served helping the victims of tragedies in the court room rather then at the scene."

Carlos and Holly were not sure what to say. I decided I should lighten the mood, but had no idea what to say.

"Do you want to see a picture of my family?" I asked, pulling out my wallet.

"I would love to see that," Carlos answered.

I look through my wallet, and found the picture that my dad had insisted we take before I left for New York. In the slot facing that picture was the last family picture we took before Mom died.

"She hardly changed," he said, pointing a her picture. "You dad on the other hand." He said looking at the recent picture.

"He's still a very handsome man," Holly added.

"So they tell me. Everyone tells me that Joey acts almost exactly like Dad did when he was that age," I explained.

Although I had originally gone to learn more about my mother and father when they were working there, I just couldn't seem to think of anything to ask. What was I supposed to tell these people that knew my parents so well, but thought me a complete stranger; who happened to look exactly like a person they had known. I needed to know just one thing before I could go home.

"What was my mother like when she was working?" I asked.

"Exactly like you described her in the story you told us," Holly explained. "The best example I can give is her last day. She would have been pregnant with you. There was a bomb in one of the buildings, and she refused to go back in to help someone. When we got back she explained that she wasn't afraid to go into the building, but that she was pregnant."

"Your mother was fearless," Carlos interrupted. "If she thought she could help a person she would not leave even the most hopeless of situations, even when Lieu was ordering he out. I had seen it happen. It's like she didn't even realize the dangers around her, she just did what she had to do to save another life."

I smiled. "Wow."

"Back to my story," said Holly. "Later that day I had taken a little girl to the bathroom, as we were leaving your mother pushed us both back into the bathroom, almost taking a bullet from the gunmen. She didn't think about herself at all, all she cared about was that little girl, that was the kind of person she was."

I began to cry, Holly took my hand. "She was such a good person, why did she have to die?" I asked.

"Because," said Carlos. "Only the good die young."

I smiled at him, soon our coffees were finished and we went our own ways. I hoped that I would be able to talk to them again sometime about my mother, and my father. I hardly knew her, but after that story I wanted to hear more about what she was really like. I wasn't sure if I was really like her like my grandmother, and father always told me. There were days that I wished I could have just a few more minutes with her to tell her that I loved her, and ask if I really was doing a good job following in her footsteps.

The one big difference between us, of course, was that I didn't have the same self destructive nature with men. Probably because she instilled in me not to accept that kind of behaviour from any man, even if from her shinning example it did work out in the very long run.

Another story I always liked to think about was one that happened when I was in New York about a month. That was the fist night I really felt accepted by my peers. It was also the real start to my friendship with Emily. It had been a really bad day, and everyone had agreed to go out to a local pub after work. There had been a huge fire, and very few survivors. We, at the firehouse, were in need of a wind down because we felt that we had failed, even though, logically we knew there really wasn't much we could do. The people at the station house needed to go out because they had had the lovely job of controlling the crowd. A task at which, I later learned, was hard because you wanted to make more victims by shooting people who refused to listen to multiple requests to stay far back.

I remembered, that a news reporter was actually trying to interview me as I was working on a patient, who died in hospital later that day. I always found death hardest to accept when they made it all the way to the hospital, only to die in a bed, alone. A police officer, who introduced himself as Davis, helped save me by getting the reporter away from me so I could work. I was really hoping to talk to him that night. I could tell by the little that I saw of him that he was someone I would love to get to know under better circumstances.

I was sitting at the table, having a coffee when Emily sat down next to me.

"You know what? You did damn good job out there today," she told me.

"Thanks, you were pretty good out there yourself," I smiled.

"Really, Alex I under estimated you, and I'm sorry. You're good at what you do, I think you may even be better at it then me."

I shook my head. "Let's not try to play this game, all right. We both know our shit, and we're both great in our own ways." Emily smiled. "I like the way you think."

"Maybe we could even be friends?"

"Probably. Look a bunch of us are getting together after work to get our minds off today. I don't really drink, so I can drive you over, and home later if you'd like."

"Thank you for the invite, I really needed something like that, and I think I'll take you up on the drive there, because I still have no clue about this city."

She laughed. "I never realized how hard this city was to navigate, I guess it's because I've always been here."

I nodded. "And that is why you drive, you know this place better then I ever could."

"I'm ready when you are all right?"

I took the last sip of my coffee. "I'm pretty much ready."

"Not going to change?"

I was wearing a tank top under my sweater, and a pair of ratty looking jeans. Emily knew I had a pair of dressier clothes hanging in my locker, which I kept just in case I wanted not to look like a grub after my shift.

"I showered, I figure that's enough. I'm not really trying to impress anyone."

"Whatever, I saw a look between you and Davis!"

"I was glad he got that damn reporter out of my face." I laughed

I followed her to her car, and sat down in the passenger's seat.

"So did you have a boyfriend back in Boston?" she asked me.

It was nice to finally girl talk. "We broke up six months before I left," I replied.

"No kids right?"

"No, but you said you had a daughter right?"

"You remember that?"

I nodded. "Sometimes I listen."

She smiled. "She's two, her name is Angela. Her father is a cop at the station house. His name is Dylan. We have a strange relationship."

"Sounds complicated."

"I think I make it that way. It's nice to be able to be honest with someone about it though. My mother would slap me silly if ever told her I still have trysts with my ex."

I shook my head. "My mom used to do the same thing with my brother's father." I didn't want to tell her that I had the same father, and that it had worked between them.

"I'm glad I'm not the only one! Well here we are."

We got out of the car, and went into the pub. When we got there a few of the cops were already there, and we were the first people from the firehouse there. It looked like everyone was already drinking. Emily leaned over to me.

"That's him, the one next to Davis. Try to keep me away from him, if you can," she told me.

"I'll try," I told her.

I couldn't take my eyes of him, Davis, he was one of very few people who looked better out of his uniform. I decided, since the seat next to him was empty, to sit there. There was also another woman there, who was on the opposite side of the table.

"So, you're the rookie?" she asked breaking her silence.

"I guess so, the name is Alex." I replied, putting my hand out.

"Kylie, good to meet you. From what I could see from crowd control you did good out there!" she said, shaking my hand. "You dealt with that bitch reporter pretty well too."

"Davis, that's your name right?" I asked, he nodded. "Davis here." I patted his chest. "Helped me a little on that front."

"Davis, always the knight in shinning armour." She laughed taking a sip of her beer.

He laughed. "You can call me Tyrone, Alex."

"Nice to meet you under better circumstances, Tyrone." I smiled.

Carter and some of the firefighters walked in, and joined us. I had ordered a beer, glad to feel like I was with friends drinking again. In Boston we had made it a point to go out every Friday night, when you weren't on the schedule, and I was starting to think New Yorkers had something against it.

As the night progressed, I wondered if I really wanted to be in such a large group. When it seemed clear that I was not the only one who wanted to be in a party of two. Tyrone and I had moved off to the side, and were making small talk, only occasionally looking up to the rest of the table to laugh at a joke.

I did notice that Emily was all over the cop she had told me to keep her away from. I tried giving her one of those don't do it looks, but she ignored me. All of a sudden Emily got up and headed toward me. She grabbed my arm, and made me follow her into the washroom.

"What the hell?" I asked.

"Careful with cops, they're heartbreakers," she warned.

"You can't put them all in the same category. Besides, I learned from my mother not to put up with any bullshit."

"I guess, not but be careful."

"I think you're the one who needs to be careful. I thought he was your ex?"

She shrugged. "He is, and he's my daughter's father too. I know that it's wrong, but I just know that if he asks, I'll drive him home."

"Just drive him home. Pick up your daughter to remind you that you don't need him to love you, because she always will."

"Maybe I'll try that."

"Just don't do anything stupid."

She hit her head against a stall wall. "I wish I could promise you that."

"Even if you do, if you need an ear tomorrow, I'll be here."

She half smiled. "Thanks, you're being so nice to me, when all I've been was horrible to me."

"It's not my nature to be horrible to people when I don't really know them. And once you drop your shield you're not a terrible person."

Emily smiled. "Thanks."

"So, do you think it's a little pretentious of me to ask Tyrone for coffee?"

"Not at all, he's only looking at you. May as well see if you can get to know him without a group."

I smiled. "I needed to hear that."

We went back to the table. I sat down next to Tyrone again. We started laughing and joking again immediately, almost ignoring the other people around us.

"You know what?" I asked.

"How would I know if you don't tell me?" he queried.

I laughed. "Neither of us have had a drink in the last two hours, and we don't seem to want to talk to anyone else."

"What are you suggesting?"

"Would you like to go for coffee somewhere where we can talk?"

He nodded. "I like that idea."

We said our goodbyes to everyone, and all the guys made the universal have fun getting laid sign at him. He shook his head, and we left the pub. We walked into the parking lot, and he lead me to his car.

"To be honest," he said. "I haven't had anything to drink tonight. If you want we can take my car to anywhere you'd like." I laughed. "I don't know New York."

"You ride with Emily Yokas, the ultimate New Yorker, and you still haven't learned the about the best places in NYC?" I laughed. "Somehow no. But to be honest I'm more comfortable at home."

"Not to sound like I want more, but if you're comfortable there, the coffee's cheaper." I laughed. "I know how to defend myself, if it comes to that."

I had no idea where I was, so I told him where I lived, and he got me there in a way I had never seen before. We got out of the car, and made our way up to my third floor apartment. It was a walk up, in a pretty old building, but it was well taken care of, and the whole inside had been redone in the last five years, so it looked much better on the inside. I almost drove right past it when I saw it, and was glad I hadn't.

"This is a nice place," he commented, as I let him in.

"And this is my little home," I said, he followed me in. "Sit, make yourself comfortable, I'll put on the coffee."

I went into the kitchen, and started the coffee maker. I then returned to the living room, and sat next to him, and we began talking.

"So, why don't you go by Tyrone?" I asked.

"Because, I am Tyrone Davis the third. My dad already swiped up the name Ty, and Junior is only cute when you're under the age of, let's say, eight. I decided it was just as easy to either go by my last name, with the guys, and go for the full name everywhere else."

I nodded. "That makes perfect sense then."

"So what made you want to become a paramedic?"

I shrugged. "My dad was a firefighter, my mother was a medic, I guess they passed the torch through my genes. I don't remember a time where I didn't want to be in protective services. I even wanted to be a cop for a while. But I decided I liked the idea of saving people. I have a strange fear of fire, so it kind of ruled out being a firefighter."

He laughed. "A firefighter's daughter, afraid of fire, any reason?"

"Not really, I used to have nightmares about being trapped in burning buildings though, and I think those dreams may have scared me just enough to know that I never wanted to be in a burning building knowing there was now way out."

"That must have been scary for you, but you were never involved in a fire?"

"Not since I left the womb. So why did you want to be cop?"

"Like, you think it runs in my blood. I hardly remember wanting to be anything else but a policeman. My dad was a policeman, my granddad was a policeman. I knew that I wanted to serve just like them. My granddad was killed in the line, so my father tells me. My dad made leaps and bounds as an African American officer. He earned everything he ever got in his career, which is saying a lot for any cop, let alone one of a minority. He could have taken favors, but he got to sergeant honestly. Making his whole family proud, and I've always wanted to make him proud."

I smiled. "That's a better story then mine."

He laughed. "What was it like having a firefighter dad, and a paramedic mother?"

"My mother retired just after she found out she was pregnant with me. She wanted to be a fireman's wife. The times I'm able to remember my dad was more of a leader of the squads, telling the guys what to do, more then running into burning buildings. So I really don't know what it's like to know that my parents were putting themselves in very dangerous situations in hopes of helping others."

He nodded. "I didn't even really understand what my dad did all those years until I got onto the field myself. I mean I knew that he was out there everyday, but always thought that he just gave out tickets and stuff. I didn't realize how much danger he was actually in, which I guess is a good thing when you're a kid."

"Yeah, usually, it's better to not know just how bad the world can be."

"How old were you when you realized just how bad the world could be?"

"Thirteen."

"That was quick. What happened?"

"That's how old I was when I found out that the man that killed my mother would not actually ever serve any time in jail."

"How did she die?"

"She was hit by a car."

I proceeded to tell him the story that I had told so many people so many times. He was different then a lot of people, he actually seemed to be paying attention even though he never knew her, and hardly knew me. By the time I was done with the story about my mother our coffee was completely forgotten about.

"So, why did your parents call you Alex?" he asked, trying to ask a lighter question.

"They named me after a firefighter they had worked with, in New York. She was killed in the line, and they both wanted to preserve a little piece of her. So they named me after her. And you were just named after your dad. I've never really got that."

"Me either, but I'd feel strange NOT naming my son after me. Like I was breaking something."

I laughed. "I guess so, strange, how some traditions feel more like duties."

He laughed. "Yeah, do you think being a medic was a duty?"

"No, that's something that you really have to choose for yourself."

He nodded. We talked about everything, and nothing for a few hours. Forgetting all about the coffee, which was now cold. We were just having too much funny getting to know each other.

"What would you do if I kissed you right now?" he asked all of a sudden.

"Try it, and find out," I replied, assuringly.

He leaned over a kissed me gently. For a moment our lips were frozen, but soon we tentatively explored, and he even slipped his tongue inside my mouth gently. I didn't even notice at first. But I knew he was a good kisser. We kissed for a long moment, then pulsed away. We then talked bout our lost loves, and both fell asleep on my couch. During the night we moved, and ended up spooning somewhat comfortably, under a throw blanket I had on the back of the couch.

End notes: up next, a part from Emily's POV. I really hope you like what I'm trying to do here, and that everything all made sense. i am a dilogue person, and i suck at the action scence. The idea just wouldn't stop pestering me till my fingers were typing it out, and once i started the muse was very nice. So please tell me what you think


	2. Emily

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Emily  
AUTHOR: trista groulx  
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language (could change as the series progresse)  
SUMMARY: a look at the next generation of third watchers, this time from a familiar charcter's POV, the lovelyemily yokas  
AUTHORS NOTES: this story will take place the day after Alex's part ended, i'll keep you posted on what the timeline is, i really hope some ppl are digging this effort, cause it's really a challange for me...  
WARNINGS: certain orginals will have died, and their deaths may be explained as i feel fit. there are potential spoilers up to the end of season five, so if you're not that far on TV then don't blame me i spoil something for you.  
emily and charlie's ages have been altered to fit with this story, so that there is only a small age difference between Alex and Emily (otherwise it would have to be 15-16 yrs and that wouldn't work) please tell me what you think trista aka the dustytiger

on with the fic!

I woke up that morning next to my ex, Dylan, again. I cursed myself for making the same mistake again. I was glad my daughter, Angela was too young to really ask question about why her father was at home again. I didn't even want to imagine what went through that little mind of hers. Most of the time she never even saw him, which was good. If my mother ever found out she'd smack me a good one! Why do I do this to myself?

I hadn't even had anything to drink when we all went out last night. The girls from the firehouse, and the guys from the station house, across the street. We always said that even if both sexes came from both houses. Apparently it had been a tradition since my mother was in the force for the two houses to go out after rough days.  
She always says that it helps make relations better off the field, but I think that in our case it makes for strange bedfellows. Though I guess it may be just in my case, because my partner, Alex and Dylan's partner Tyrone seemed to be happy when they left together. Of course he has more personality then Dylan will ever have, yet I still find myself in love with the man. Even when I see so many of my friends, and even my own mother happy with men that treat them right.

"Get the fuck up," I snarled at him, all right so maybe I had something to do with the hard feelings between us.

"Nice to see you took Em," Dylan responded.

"Look, can you just leave before the baby sees you?"

He got up, and pulled on his pants, and shirt. "She's my kid too you know?"

"Then leave, then just knock on the door as if you're visiting."

"She's just a baby she doesn't understand."

I shrugged. "Maybe not, but I don't want to find out for sure. If you want to see Angela you'll just have to leave, then knock on my door."

He got up and left. Sure enough, he did not knock on the door after to visit with his daughter. I wondered if he ever even pondered it after he left. We had had so many fights over her since I found out I was pregnant. Now the fights were mostly because he hardly made an effort to see her. Most of the time he did visit she would just fuss because she barely knew him. He would end up getting annoyed, and leaving angry. I tried to explain that if he would come over more she would get used to him, but he never listened. If I could chose Angela's father, I would make him almost any man but Dylan.

"Mommy!" I heard Angela scream, then start to cry. That was my sign that it was time to start the day, and that I would not get that fifteen extra minutes of sleep I craved.  
Our morning routine was pretty simple, I had a breakfast shake, while she ate her cereal. I got her ready, then myself. I then went to my mother's to drop her off. My mother had not been working for a few years, and as soon as Angela was born agreed to take her on days that I worked. I gave her whatever money she would accept, and I was very grateful for the childcare.

I was running early that morning, when I went over to visit my mother. It was strange, although I went everyday, and had a key, I still rang the doorbell every morning. Bosco answered the door, Mom was in the kitchen drinking a cup of coffee. As soon as she saw him Angela started to struggle in my arms, holding her hand toward him.

"Baco! Baco!" she cried, until he took her.

"Hello Angie!" he said, kissing her lightly, a huge smile crossing both their faces.

"I think you have some competition, Mom," I laughed, pouring myself a cup of coffee.

Mom laughed. "It took me too long to get him, I'm not giving him up now." She smiled at her new husband. I was so glad when they finally got married. "You're running early this morning."

"Ang got up early, didn't realize I was that early till I got here. Besides, this way I can visit with you."

"Did I see someone else in the car with you when you picked up Angie last night?" Bosco asked, not even looking away from his game of peak-a-boo with my daughter.

"Yeah, I was driving one of the guys from the station house home, he had a little too much to drink, since I had room, and it was on my way," I lied.

"Oh, he looked familiar."

"It was one in the morning, everyone looks the same at that time."

I hated to lie to them, but I just couldn't tell them the truth. I had agreed to drive him home, despite knowing what would happen next. So I thought of Alex's advise, and decided to pick Angela up in hopes of not making the same mistake. She was so tired she didn't even wake up when I took her out of her crib there, into her car seat, drove to my place, took her out, and put her in her own crib. Even if Dylan had not been there, I would have picked her up, I like knowing she's under the same roof when I've had a bad day at work.

"Why didn't you just leave Angela here over night?" Mom asked.

"I just wanted her home. I had a rough day, and I wanted her close."

She nodded. "I understand. When I was working after you born, when I saw something really bad, I used to make Sully drive by the house quickly so I could check on you."

I laughed. "Mother's instincts sure aren't rational sometimes." We both laughed.

"Glad I don't have to deal with that," Bosco said, still on the floor with Angela. "Look what you have to grow up and face, Angie? So I say you make me a deal and stay a baby for every all right?"

We all laughed, except for Angela who just began tapping Bosco's arm to keep his attention. He was the only person that called her Angie, at first I asked him not to, but decided there was no point in getting into an argument. When I left Angela there, I kind of felt like she got the family she didn't get with me at home. I loved my daughter, and was glad that she got to see a positive male role model almost every single day. I looked at my watch.

"I should probably get going." I said hugging Mom. "I should be back at the usual time tonight."

"All right, call if anything changes."

"Always." I looked at Angela. "I'll see you later, Baby." I picked her up and gave her a hug.

"Okay, bye bye!" She said before I put her down.

I got to the door. 'Love you all."

"Love you too, Em!" Mom called.

That was another very big part of my morning routine. Although I wasn't in a position quiet as dangerous as my mom had been all her career, I still knew that an accident could happen, and I wanted my family to know that I loved them. I considered Bosco family, even before my mom started dating him. He was almost always a part of my life.

My brother, Charlie, was not so forgiving, and hardly speaks to Mom now. I see him when I go to family stuff at Dad's. He's married, and has two kids. He works as general labourer, his wife is a doctor at Mercy. Sometimes I think I see Charlie's wife more then he does! He takes after my dad, and takes care of the kids, and hardly works.

It kills my mother that she sees her other grandkids only at Christmas, the day after Christmas. Charlie spends Christmas Eve with dad, Christmas day with her family, and drops in for a little while to see Mom, in the spirit of the season. He asks that Bosco not be there when they visit, that it would confuse the kids.

When Angela was born I asked Bosco if he wanted me to have her call him anything special. He was flattered, but decided just to have her call him Bosco, even if she couldn't pronounce it. He had started to call her Angie almost immediately, and soon realized that it would be fine. I explained that I didn't want everyone to call her Angie, so it was kind of their special thing.

I was pretty sure that he was not helping her to say Bosco, and have her call him Baco the rest of his life. I laughed to myself remembering that her first word was "Baco", she started saying it one night when we were all at our apartment having supper. Bosco was thrilled she liked him that much.

When I got to work I didn't see Alex anywhere, and I wondered where she had gotten to. I went up and got changed, then went to the bus. Sure enough she was there putting everything exactly where I liked it, humming to herself.

"Last night went well?" I asked, scaring the living shit out of her, she jumped, and even almost shrieked until she realized who I was.

"Yeah, he came to my place, and we talked so long we ended up falling asleep," she explained, a stupid grin on her face. "He wants to take me out for supper tonight."

"That's great!"

"Something happen with Dylan?"

"Yeah," I replied, angry with myself. "He stayed over last night, and let's just say I got a lot more action then I had wanted. I even tried picking Ang up from my mother's nothing stopped me. I'm so stupid."

"You're not stupid."

I never thought I could be so glad to hear that. I smiled, and hugged her. "Thank you," I told her, almost crying.

"Okay, what's gotten into you?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, it's just you can't even imagine how nice it was to hear that."

She smiled at me. "Any time."

I really did wonder why she was being so nice to me. I was such a horrible person to her, and yet she was being so supportive. Most of the time I'd be suppositious if someone were acting like that, but I knew she was being genuine. She was one of very few people that actually still cared about other people. She proved that to me so many more times since that day, and I couldn't understand why we had gotten off to such a rocky start.

"As much as I'm sure you really want to talk some more, we probably have lives to save!" she said, smiling.  
I couldn't help but smile back. "Of course we do, that's what we signed up to do."

We both got into the bus, I was driving of course. I didn't think she'd ever get to know New York, but it worked this way for both of us. It ended up being an unusually slow day. We ended up spending a lot of time talking.

"So why did you become a paramedic?" she asked me.

"When I was a teenager I was involved in a bank robbery with my mother. I never understood what she did till that day. She actually shot a guy, and almost took a bullet for me. After seeing that I knew I wanted to do something that took as much guts as that. I just couldn't get over the fact she had actually killed a person, and that he probably wasn't the first person she had killed. No matter how bad a person is do they really deserve to die?" I explained. "So I decided to try and save lives instead of maybe have to be forced to take them."

Alex nodded. "So you're second generation too?"

I laughed. "Yeah, my step dad was a cop too. He and my mother we partners at the station house. So what's your story?"

"My dad was a firefighter, and my mom was a paramedic, they met when they were working at the firehouse here. That's why I decided to try to get a job here."

"Wow, it's amazing how many people around here have parents that have worked in the same places. As you probably know Davis' dad worked her till he got a desk job. You learned both Carter's parents are old timers as he put it. You met Kylie last night, right?"

"Yeah," she responded.

"Carter's dad is her biological father, he gave her up for adoption when she was a baby."

"What about Dylan?"

I laughed. "No way, he's a first generation one. I think he may have gotten into police services to pick up chicks."

She laughed. "Doesn't he know that it's the fire boys that get all the girls? That's why my brother wanted to be a fireman!"

"I never said that Dylan was a smart person."

She laughed. "And here I thought New York never had a quiet day."

"They're few and far between. But how about we head back to the house? There's no point wasting gas in this beast."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

When we got back to the house everyone else was sitting around, also bored. Carter and the fire boys were playing a game of poker.

"If you ladies care to join, we can make it strip poker!" said Garry hopefully.

"Not a chance in hell," I replied.

After all this time they still didn't realize that I only had eyes for one man, and he didn't feel the same way for me. That's the problem with working with a bunch of guys, they are completely clueless sometimes. I was glad to finally not only have females around the house, but also to be able to ride with one, even if I didn't give her the credit she deserved most of the time. She knew what she was doing, and though I'd never admit it to anyone at the house I loved the chance to girl talk.

"Hey I'm game," said Alex. "But can someone remind me what's high and what's low?"

I shook my head, not believing that she would be crazy enough to actually play a game of strip poker with a bunch of greasy bucket boys! She gave me a reassuring glance, that I knew meant that she knew exactly what she was doing. None of the guys seemed to notice, except Carter, he had always been fairly good at picking up signs between women. I wondered just how in touch with his softer side he may be, but never said anything out loud, that is not a rumour you want to start with a bunch of testosterone driven males.

"She can take my place," Carter offered.

"Thanks man," she said sitting down.

It seemed that she had been an old poker pro. Soon the guys were down to their socks and boxers. She was laughing it up. Only Garry was left in the game. I glanced at his cards, and even my lousy poker skills told me he had a decent hand.

"I'll bet you everything I've got," he told her.

"So does that mean my bet is everything I've got?" she asked innocently.

He laughed. "Only if you want to, Sweetie."

"Why not?" She shrugged, then looked at her card, and made a pouting face. "I hope I don't regret this."

"Sweet Jesus!" he exclaimed, he put down his hand. "Straight flush, all hearts!"

She looked dejected, and put down her hand, a royal flush. "This any good?"

"Fuck! You little-"

"Strip for me baby!" She laughed, coming over and giving me a high five. "Don't mess with the ladies."

Just then the fire bell rang, leaving Garry not just scrambling to get his gear on, but also to redress from his game. There was also a call for an ambulance at the same address, so we got into our bus, and followed the trucks. When we got to the scene there had been an explosion, at a local school. It was later ruled to be an accident, there had been a gas leak, and one of the teachers happened to throw a butt in the wrong place.

I had always hated it when children were involved in any call I had been to. It had gotten particularly worse since Angela was born. When the paramedics were ordered in to help out, I didn't want to. I watched as my partner disappeared into the depths of the building. Armed with only helmet and a board. She came back a few minutes later with what looked like a six year old on the board.

"Mind if I go back in?" she asked.

"I'll work on her."

The child tuned out to be more shocked then hurt, and after I checked her quickly she was able to join all the kids that were not suffering from anything serious on a school bus that was located far away from the scene. It would drive them to the hospital where they would be given secondary exams, and then their parents could pick them up from there. Since they were certain any parent who heard would just go there automatically anyway. I looked up and saw Alex again. She had a line up of about a dozen kindergartners all holding hands following behind her.

"Where are they supposed to go?" she asked me.

"I need to do a quick check first but then they're going to go on the school bus over there." I explained. "I can do this myself, if you want to get back in there."

"Yeah, thanks, there are still a few classrooms we haven't been in."

"All right, this is my friend, you have to be good for her then she's gonna bring you across the street. Remember to keep track of your buddies for her all right?" she asked looking at the group.

"Okay!" they all exclaimed at the same time.

I was glad to see that most of the youngest kids seemed all right. I heard that there was one child in the class I was working with who was hurt, and there were a couple of firefighters working to get him out. I was walking back to the bus when I heard Alex, frantic in my monitor.

"Get Carter and give him your radio now!" she barked.

"What? Why?"

"I know he's the only person who wasn't tied up when I last came out. I have at least four students, I think in one of the senior grades. They must have been skipping class, and they're pretty trapped in a broom closet not far from where the initial shock was. There wasn't supposed to be anyone there, so no one's been. You can come too we can use all the hands we can get."

"I'll get Carter."

I knew that I was white as a sheet, as I passed my monitor off to Carter. He immediately dashed off, following her directions. I could not get my feet to follow. I went to see if I could take over for anyone. Garry let me work on the kindergartner who he had helped get out from under the teacher's desk where he had been hiding, and went back into the building.

"Where the hell is Doherty?" asked the Lieutenant in charge of our squad, another had also been called.

"How would I know?" I asked, loading the child into the bus.

"She's your partner!"

"Last I heard from her she was in the boiler room. Ca- Nieto took my monitor and went to help her there."

"What the hell is she doing there?" He thundered. "She's not authorized in that location!"

I looked at him straight in the eyes. "I'm not worried about the pile of shit she's gotten herself into right now. I have a child who will die if he does not get to a proper hospital soon. I need authorization to leave without my partner."

"You have it. Wait for Doherty at the hospital and help direct the parents to their children in the meantime."

I got in the bus, and sped away from the scene. I hated to leave her like that, the child in the back wasn't even that critical. I just needed to get away from that kind of chaos. That was the part of the job I hated. I hadn't even been able to bring myself to go inside the school. I heard updates over the radio periodically. Saying that everywhere was clear but the boiler room, and that everyone who could leave should do so and get to Mercy.

I got there and they took the child immediately having been told he was critical. Then I got do crowd control. All the children, who had arrived in two school buses. It had been a private school so there were only small classes, and few students. Had been checked quickly by whatever staff had been available for our invasion.  
The reception staff were bombarded, and run off their feet, and I had to help bring parents to waiting rooms all over the hospital where their children would be advised to meet them after they were examined. It was a pretty straight forward system of different letters of the alphabet assigned to different rooms.

Then once the flux of parents had subsided I got help smaller children find their way around the hospital to their parents. One of the little girls from the kindergarten class came up to me in tears.

"I can't find my Mommy," she whispered.

"It's okay, what's your name?" I asked.

"Emma," she told me.

"And what's your last name?"

"I can't tell, you're a stranger."

I had to think quick. "No, I'm not my name is Emily Yokas, remember we met before? My friend got you out of your class, and then I looked at you and then brought you to the school bus. Strangers aren't friends with people who help kids out of scary classrooms are they?" She shook her head "no." "Good, then can you please tell me your last name so I can help you find your mommy?"

I leaned down, and she whispered her last name in my ear. I took her hand, and brought her to her mother. She ran immediately to her and gave her a big hug.

"Thank you," said her mother. "What's your name?"

"Emily," I replied.

"Are you a mother?"

"Yeah, I have a two year old at home. Can I give you some advise one mother to another?"

"Okay."

"Teach Emma here about good strangers not just the bad kind, please."

"What?"

"She wouldn't tell anyone her last name, which is a very good thing under normal circumstances, but makes it hard to find her parents in a crisis."

"Thanks."

I wasn't sure if she was sincere in her thank you, or annoyed that I had told her a truth she may not want to have heard at that moment. I wondered how it was that Alex had gotten her out. Then I realized I had not seen Alex come back yet. All craziness died down about an hour later, and there was still no sign of her. Then I saw her come in, wearing a bunch of extra gear, with a gurney, followed by Carter with another, then Garry with a third, and finally someone from another house with a fourth. Each had a hardly recognizable child, who I later found out were in the sixth grade. They were rebels who had been cutting class to play cards. That choice cost two of them their lives.

Alex came out, and fell onto a chair. "Here I thought we were going to have a slow day!"

"What the hell?" I asked. "When the Lieutenant finds you do you realize how much trouble you are going to be in?"

She shrugged, casually. "The one I was with, he was a conscience almost till we got here. His name is Adam I promised that I'd stay close. I couldn't leave him in the middle, it would have cause more trauma."

"But it wasn't safe."

"What's the difference, I didn't have an oxygen tank, I had all the other gear everyone else did."

"Then why don't you just become a one of them?" I growled, walking away.

I knew that I had been rough on her, the only reason I was mad was because I was jealous of her bravery. She wouldn't let the argument die. She followed me into one of the staff lounges.

"What the hell?" She demanded. "My very first day you tell me that I have to prove myself to gain your respect. I more then did that today and you give me hell?"

"Alex, your job is to help them once they're out of danger's way," she explained.

"My job is to help them wherever they are, accept for if they are in a place that's up in smoke!"

"It's not! Don't you get that? You let everyone else be the hero!"

She looked at me, puzzled. "I wasn't being a hero."

"Then what would you call it?"

She stood there dumbfounded. "So that's why they did it…"

"Who did what?"

"Just thinking out loud. I've been hearing stories about my mom and dad since I've been here, and I wondered how they managed to do some of the stuff I've heard they did. Now I kind of understand. You just don't think about what you're doing, you just do what you have to do."

I shrugged. "I guess so."

"You were great out there, by the way. They think you saved that boy's life."

"Which one?"

"The one you brought in alone. He's a diabetic, if had gone much longer he would have been in shock. How did you know he was critical?"

"I didn't," I admitted. "I just needed to get out of there."

She shrugged. "Sure." She didn't believe me. "Either way you saved his life. So don't get all down on yourself."

"I need to call my mother."

I went to the phone, and called my mother. I just needed to know that my daughter was safe.

"Hello?" I heard Bosco say on the other end.

"It's me," I stated.

"Do you want to talk to your mother?"

"No, I just want to hear Ang."

"Just a sec," I heard him put down the phone and say "Angie Mommy's on the phone."

"Phhht!!" she had done a raspberry into the phone. "That's not Mommy!"

He came back on the line. "I can try again."

"No, it's okay I just needed to hear her. It's a mother thing."

"I understand that it's a mother thing, but I don't understand how."

"That's all I ask Bosco, thank you."

"Anytime Em."

So I wasn't bad at my job, I just had different priorities from some people. For all I knew some people could be envious of me having an innocent child to come home to every night. I also had a ray of hope at the end of the day, that my sweet little girl would do something so goofy, that she could make forget with one small gesture what a bad place the world could be.  
If I had not been at that scene today scared out of my wits wanting nothing more to leave a little boy who should not have died from his injuries would have. The motive may be different but the end was the same as Alex and the other running in that building to get everyone they possibly could out.

The best part for me was, I was getting praise for what I had done, where Alex would probably get in a lot of trouble for what she had decided to do. After seeing that tragedy, I got to hear my little girl get very confused by the simple invention of the telephone which made so much sense to the rest of us. She had also reminded me of the importance of seeing a person. I had started out the day down on myself for not being able to resist a person I love. I ended the day glad to have the child he gave me, even if he could not appreciate her. I knew that I had work to do with Dylan, and one day I knew I'd be ready to take everyone's advise and simply cut him out. Find my daughter someone who could be a dad, and hope that her real father didn't have a problem with that.

I had to start focusing on the good stuff in my life, and keep the bad stuff in its place. Since I had met Dylan I was a lot harder on new people I met, because I expected them to hurt me. I knew that Alex was a friend, but I couldn't help but think that it was all a rouse so that she could turn around and stab me in the back. I knew she had no reason for doing so, but Dylan hurt me so bad, and still I could not cut him from my life. I was really was happy to work with a woman for a change. She at least understood why I was in bad moods after stupid moves with Dylan. Although she didn't have a child herself she did have the hormones that make you a good mother, and she understood why I had to hold back sometimes.

My goal every single day was to come home in one piece for my daughter. So that I could hug her, and be not just her mother, but her father too. It wasn't easy for me to decide to continue doing being a paramedic after she was born, but I was good at what I did, and there are not that many people willing to step up to the plate and replace me. It's not glamourous job, and the pay isn't what it should be for what we do. But there is a pride in doing it. There is something that just feels right about saving a person who others would just leave for dead.

My mother would talk to me about how great it was to serve and protect people, and I never understood her, until I took this job. It may be different because I don't go chase bad guys, but I still help people like she did. I know that she did more good when she was working then she did bad, by having to shoot people. I knew she only did it when she absolutely had to, and in the situation, I would guess that anyone could do the same thing.

But I could not get over the fact that to be a good police officer sometimes you would have to kill another person. Any life, no matter how shitty a person had made it was worth saving. I've worked on victims that were shot by cops, and work on them just as hard as I would a person who was shot in a drive by shooting. No one deserves to die prematurely, and that's why I decided to go into this line of work.

My name is Emily Yokas, I'm a paramedic who's afraid to be a hero, but I'm still good at what I do. That is a slice of my fucked up little life, that I'm still glad to lead every single day. Even if most of the reason I get up every morning is my little girl.

end: all you bosco faith shippers have gotten to me... hope you liked my surprise! i also hope ppl like what i'm trying to do hear, i know i'm focusing a little on Alex but she was kinda the inspiration for the story! next up Carter!


	3. Carter

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Carter AUTHOR: trista groulx DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language (could change as the series progresses)  
SUMMARY: another look at the second generation of thirdwatchers, this time Carter will tell his story, and maybe surprise a few of his friends along the way!  
AUTHORS NOTES: the first half of this story is Carter's POV of what happened the same day as where the last bit of Emily's was, then jumps ahead about a month for him to tell everyone something. the second half was really hard to write, and i don't think i got it right, but it was an honest effort so pls don't be too mean with you critisims.  
apologies for the delay, i had issues with writing the second half WARNINGS: certain orginals will have died, and their deaths may be explained as i feel fit. there are potential spoilers up to the end of season five, so if you're not that far on TV then don't blame me i spoil something for you.  
emily and charlie's ages have been altered to fit with this story, so that there is only a small age difference between Alex and Emily (otherwise it would have to be 15-16 yrs and that wouldn't work) please tell me what you think trista aka the dustytiger

I never realized before the kind of drive it took to do what I do. I'm a firefighter, and I love the job. That day I was reminded why. From a fresh faced rookie, who was not even a firefighter herself. We were having a slow day down at the house when a call came in. No one would have guessed what we would see. A school had blown up, we found out later from pretty normal causes. To look on the bright side, as I always did it was a fairly small private school with no more the fourteen students in each class, with only one class a grade from kindergarten to sixth grade. Sure it was a lot of kids, but a lot less then if we had been called to any of the city's over crowded public schools.

Both of my parents had been paramedics, and I always knew that I wanted to save lives too. I was also fascinated with fire so it made perfect sense to me that I had decided to become firefighter. It didn't surprise anyone who knew me that I went on that path, although there are many things that will be brought out later that did, in fact, shock and surprise everyone that I knew. Back to the day the school burned down, the day I remembered my passion for the job. Or perhaps I should explain why I lost my passion in the first place. Mainly it had to do with being in a slump where I had not got patted on the back and told that I was doing a good job for months. I should have known it had nothing to do with my abilities and more to do with a hardass for a boss. The fact I had only just got my cast off that morning was not helping my confidence much either. The crew and I were pretty much the ones who were pulling people out, with exception of a couple of the medic staff. We ended up having to call in guys from another squad to help out, but it was someone I had just met who would help me out of my slump.

I was feeling pretty happy with the amount of minimal injuries when I heard a call over the radio saying that a kindergarten aged boy had gotten trapped under the teacher's desk. We found out after that he had been scared, and remembered that he had seen a movie where they said that if there was ever a bomb or earthquake and you were at school you should hide under your desk. Too bad his parents weren't there to tell him that sometimes what you see on TV isn't exactly right. I decided to go in and see if I could help at all. Garry and Paul seemed to have it under control. I stayed a moment longer to watch the new girl, Alex. She was trying to get the other kids to leave the room with her.

"Okay everyone listen," she said. "Can one of you please tell me the name of the boy under the desk?" Three of them raised their hands, she pointed at a little girl. "Go ahead, Sweetie."

"That's Jake."

Alex looked over. "Jake, all right guys?" They both nodded. "Now I need you all to pick a buddy, just like when you go on a fieldtrip. Now I want you all to hold your buddy's hand so I know if you all have buddies." We both scanned the kids there were six pairs of children. "Okay, next I want whoever is the bravest to come and hold my hand." One little boy came over, with his buddy in toe. "All right now I want the rest of you to come with your buddies and hold everyone else's hand so we are all holding hands." They all did as they were told. "Now we are going to go outside, where you're going to see all kinds of people. Don't worry about anyone but your buddy. All of us are going to find one of my friends and then we're just going to make sure you're all okay. While the two nice men here help your friend Jake, okay?"

"Okay!" they all said.

I watched as they all went out together. I looked around and it seemed that most of the classrooms had already been looked through. The ones that I could see already had teams in there. We were an odd numbered squad, so I generally went alone. I was fine with that I worked better by myself. I decided to look outside to see if anyone could use my help. Everything seemed to be under control Alex had left the kids with her partner Emily and had run back inside. I couldn't understand what her rush was. There were only broom closets that had not yet been checked. I was a little worried about the little boy under the desk, and was going to go in and check on him when I saw Gerry and Paul brining him out on a board. I smiled, glad to see that he was breathing, and crying very loudly to prove to use that his lungs were, in fact, working. Emily ran up to me, and handed me her radio.

"Hello?" I asked confused.

"Thank goodness, Carter are you busy?" she asked.

"I always have time for you."

"This is no time for jokes, I found a few more kids. They're in a broom closest for some reason. It's pretty close to the place of impact. Hurry!"

"Can you lead me there?"

"Of course."

I followed her directions to the tee, and soon found where she was. I was surprised that she knew that it was close the point of impact. Because any broom closest would have a lot of damage. I looked around and saw a deck of cards. The kids looked like they were in one of the older grades. I wondered why they weren't in class and how they got away with it in a school so small, for a moment.

Then I realized that they had picked a broom closet which had chemicals in it, and two were burned badly, one had minor burns and was trapped under a shelf which had fallen over, and as was another one but he didn't seem to have any burns, and was fully responsive.

"What's your name?" Alex asked him.

"I'm Adam," he told her.

"All right Adam, I'm Alex, and this is Carter, we're going to get you out of here."

"You're a firefighter?"

"A paramedic. What are your friends names?"

I checked all of their pulses as best I could. They all had weak, but stable pulses, I knew we were going to need help. I called on my own radio for backup and ended up getting Garry, and someone from the other squad.

"Eve, she's my girlfriend, next to me. Luke and Dana who were on the other side, they're twin brothers but Luke died his hair blond."

"Thank you."

He grabbed Alex's hand. "Don't leave me!"

"I promise I won't go far." She smiled at him.

"Am I going to be okay?"

"You're going to need a hospital stay but if you're talking I can't see why you wouldn't be fine."

"What about the others?"

"We'll do everything we can," I said breaking my silence, as Garry and the other guy came in.

"She's fire?" asked the guy from the other squad.

"Yeah," I lied, giving Garry a look to go along with it.

"I've got a female, named Eve, blondie would be named male named Luke, and his twin brother is Dana."

Each of us worked on getting each separate one freed. Alex stayed with Adam as we lifted the others onto boards, and to stretchers. The guy from the other squad left, I helped him with Dana, and then he came back to help me with Eve. He took off after that in the bus with Dana. I went back for Alex and Adam. I helped her, she went right into the bus with him after thanking me, then I got into a bus with Luke. Somehow we didn't get to the hospital in that order.

When everything started to settle down, I looked over to see Alex had fallen into a chair, and was getting chewed out by Emily. I decided to get myself a glass of water, I never drank coffee, that stuff was poison. As I was leaving almost half an hour later I walked past an employee lounge where I saw the Lieutenant and Leo chewing out Alex for her role in it, I walked in, always wanting to help.

"You could have been killed in there!" the Lieutenant screamed. "You had no business being in there Doherty! I know you found them but you don't have finders rights! When someone who has more specified training comes in it's your duty to leave. If you don't do that then you will be reprimanded!

"I wanted her to stay, Boss," I explained. "She had an instant bond with the responsive vic. She was able to get everyone's name, and since her vic seemed to be in the least danger, that no harm would come of it. None of us were using our masks at that time, and she did have a helmet. It's my fault she didn't leave."

"You thought wrong! Don't do that again!" He stormed out, and Leo followed.

"Thank you," she said.

"No problem, but just cause I didn't say to stay didn't mean I didn't feel you should. You did have Adam's trust, and it would have been worse for you to leave."

She shrugged. "I guess so, but I probably shouldn't have been there."

"Ever think of trying for the squad?"

"Naw, not my thing."

I shook my head. "You were really good out there. Emily should be glad to have a partner like you."

She smiled at me. "I don't know she seems pretty pissed with me right now."

"She's just jealous that you have more nads."

She laughed. "I know she didn't go in there cause she was thinking about her daughter. that's more important then a Freudian bigger balls contest any day."

I nodded, and she left. Leaving me alone with my thoughts. I stood there for a long moment thinking about what she had said. We put so much clout into who's braver, and she was right there are so many things that were more important then who was the bravest that day, or any day.

I couldn't get that idea out of my head. It had helped me to get out of my slump. It didn't matter who did what out there, or who received a bonus for their efforts. All that matter was that you did your job, and you helped as many people out of dire situations as you could. No one was going to be the top dog everyday, and that didn't matter, there was more to life the showing that you were the most manly.

Of course if we had the most manly awards at the house Emily and Alex would both place before me. Especially after the revelation I decided to make about a month later. It had started out like any normal day. Emily was crying on Alex's shoulders about Dylan, again. This time not only had the had sex again, but he actually belittled her after.

"Have I gained weight?" she asked me in tears, needing a man's opinion.

"Not since you had the baby," I replied.

"He called me fat!"

"He called you worse then that Em!" Alex snapped.

"Look, Al, you just don't understand."

"No, I don't, but I want to help you."

"I'll change everything about me to get him to love me back!"

Alex looked at me for help, I could offer none. "Emily, it is not healthy to be someone you're not, for any reason. You are an amazing person. I'm sure if Ang could vocalize it she's tell us that you're a great mother. Everyone else who sees you as you are loves you the way you are, except the one person you want to love you."

"I don't care! I only want him, I love him."

"THIS is not love, Em, you have to know that. Love is being true to yourself. Love is doing stupid things cause he does it too. Love is not what you have. What you have is a recipe for disaster."

"No, but I can change."

"There is only one thing you need to change, my friend. Your feelings for that asshole. When I see him I'm going to give him a piece of my mind."

"No! Don't! This is supposed to be a secret."

"Whatever. Look we'll continue this in the bus." She turned toward me. "Hey Carter! No blabbing the fire boys about what they already know."

I shook my head, and watched the two women compose themselves, then leave for the day. Her advise to Emily to be true to herself seemed to ring true in my ears. Maybe it was what she had said, or maybe it was just time, but I knew I needed something off my chest. I decided to go to one of my best friends, who happened to be my half sister for advise that night.  
Although my father had been in contact with Kylie her whole life I didn't meet her until I was a teenager. It was my fifteenth birthday party, my father had already told her about me when she was about the same age, so she decided that she wanted to go to my birthday party to tell me the good news herself.

At the time I was not even remotely happy that I had a half sister, who I had known nothing about. I didn't cause a scene at my party, but for two years after I refused to even talk to her. Then when I was eighteen I needed someone who was more then just a friend to confide in, and I thought of my sister. It was almost like an initiation, to see if I could trust her that I went to her.

If she ever wondered about my motive, she never expressed it. I called her, and we started doing stuff together, going for coffee, shopping, for a few months. Even before I dropped the bomb on her, she had come to the conclusion that I was gay. She was the first person I ever admitted the truth too.

For a very long time she was the only person who knew my secret, and it bonded us, because we both carried a weight because of it. It wasn't that I thought my father would disown me, it was just that we knew he would be very hurt to discover his only son was gay, so he still doesn't know.

I tried to do manly things to get myself out of it, believing that I was just going through a phase or something. That was another major factor in my becoming a firefighter instead of paramedic. Rugged firefighters were not gay, and I thought I could cure myself. I laugh when I realize that was actually how I thought. I honestly believed that if I tried very hard it would all go away.

About a year after I joined the squad, I told my mother the truth about my sexuality. I knew that she would never tell my father and break my trust. I had been right, her knowing the truth is one of the few things she keeps from my father. She also told me that it didn't surprise her at all, and that I should just be who I was.

As I told the two people who know the truth, it's not that easy. Although it's really hard to deny your true identity, I emotionally could not handle losing most, if not all my friends, and possibly even my career.

More and more of late I had been noticing when people were saying to others to be true to themselves, and I started to think that I needed to start using the mantra in my own life. I wanted so much to be true to myself, but I didn't want to lose all the pieces that made me who I was in process.

I had left a message for Kylie to come to my place once she got off work. I got home, and barely even had time to switch the kettle on for a cup of herbal tea when I heard the buzz to let her in. I let her up, and she let herself in, locking the door behind her. She was so much more paranoid then me. She would always tell me that one day I would get home to find all my belongings gone. I reasoned the only time I didn't lock the door was when I was in the apartment, but she didn't believe me.

"Hey baby brother, what's on your mind?" she asked.

I laughed. "Before we get into the nitty gritty would you like a cup of tea?"

"Do you have coffee?"

"I bought a small package of instant for you, tell me if it meets your standards."

She laughed. "I don't have coffee standards, if it's caffeinated, hot, and black I'll drink it!"

A few minutes later I came out of the kitchen, with a cup in each hand. I handed her hers, and sat down next to her.

"I don't know how you drink that stuff," we both sighed at the same time, sending us into a laughing fit.

"I would assume from your call that this isn't going to be a sit down and shoot the shit night?" she asked.

"You would be right, I've just been thinking a lot about how you and Mom are the only two people that know, I'm gay, and I'm getting so sick of lying to people."

"It's not really lying. It's just not telling them the whole truth."

"Either way I'm starting to feel like the weight is too much to handle."

"Do you really want to come out to a bunch of ruff and tumble bucket boys?"

I shrugged. "The longer I keep it a secret the worse the beating is going to be. Besides it's not like I'm even attracted to any of them."

She laughed. "That might help soften the blow."

"I just don't know how to do it."

She nodded. "I understand, if it was me I'd tell the girls first, they'd be more accepting, and at least then you'll have a couple people at the house in your court when you tell everyone else."

I nodded. "That makes sense."

"What if it all blows up in my face?"

"You're strong enough to pick up the pieces and move on."

"I'm not so sure."

"Carter, I know you well enough to know that if the shit hits the fan you will be able to move on with it. You'll be upset that it went down the way it did, but you won't regret being honest with everyone about who you are."

"I guess so."

"No," she stated, looking right into my eyes. "I KNOW you will not regret it."

I shrugged. "It's not that easy, Kylie."

"I never said it was going to be easy, but if you hit a rough patch I'm here for you, and so will your parents."

"Yeah, I'll always have my family, and I'm sure that at least a couple of people from the house will still want to know me."

"You're the one who's always telling me to be positive, it's my turn to remind you." She smiled.

I nodded. "I know that I should be positive, but it's really hard, telling everyone is going to change your life."

"How do you know that it'll be for the worst?"

I shrugged. "I guess I don't, it's just I've been dreading telling certain people for a long time."

"I understand that, Carlos is really a hardass sometimes, but even so, he's a big softie when it comes to his kids."

I wasn't convinced. "I don't know about that Kylie, I just really don't know."

"If he really was as macho as he likes to come off in everything else in his life, he would have stubbornly kept me to raise himself. Instead he made a choice to let me go so that I could have the family that he could not provide me at that time. Someone who doesn't care about their kids would never do something like that. He could have let me be his life, a Daddy's girl, not knowing what it was like to have a family, but he was able to see the it was better for me in the long run. I'm sure he'll be upset at first, but once he realizes what a struggle this has been for you, I know he'll understand."

I could feel myself tearing, I always forgot that Dad would not have had Mom to raise Kylie. Her reminding me made me realize that, eventually, Dad would be okay with my coming out of the closet, and Mom would help him to see that it wasn't the end of the world too. I also knew that even though she was probably right, this was going to the hardest thing I had ever done.  
I figured the best course of action would be to tell Dad first. I wanted Kylie there when I told him, so I called him and asked him to join us for a cup of coffee. It didn't take him long to arrive at my apartment. I was glad, in a way, that Mom was out with friends, so she would not have to deal with him when he found out that she had known the truth for so long.

"I get a sneaking suspicion this has to do with something more the just coffee," he said, after his hellos, and had gotten his coffee.

I shook my head. "You sound more and more like Mom every day," I told him.

"They tell me that's what happens when you become an old married couple."

We all laughed at his joke. Kylie was pretty much being silent, knowing that was really only there for moral support.

"Your suspicion was right, Dad," I told him, looking at the floor.

He took a sip of his coffee, nodded, then looked at me. "Whatever it is just get it out, there's no sense in beating around the bush."

I nodded, and looked at him for a long moment, and got the feeling he knew what I was going to say before I said it. "Dad, I'm gay."

He simply nodded, and took another sip of his coffee. I had expected him to do something more then that. I glanced at Kylie who was sitting in utter shock by his non-response.

"Dad, did you hear me?" I asked.

He nodded. "I did, and I was wondering when you were going to get around to telling me."

Now I was confused, my father has never been intuned with the universe, and now he was accepting this as if it were nothing, something had to be wrong.

"What?" both Kylie and I asked at the same time.

"I'm not stupid, I know that your mother knows, and didn't tell me, or else you would have wanted her here as well."

"How?" I asked.

"Father's have intuition too. Besides, Carter, you've never had a girlfriend, you've been on dates when you were in school, and even sometimes now, but you've never brought anyone home to us. I've had good reason to believe it since you finished high school, and have been waiting for you to work up the courage to tell me. I'm glad you finally did."

I hugged him. "I'm sorry Dad."

"It's okay, you didn't think I'd be all right with it, and at first I really wasn't but then I realized that if you did tell me that you were gay, there would be nothing I could do to change that. It is part of who you are, and if I wanted to change it I would have done it much sooner."

I was kind of glad that he had a pretty good idea about my sexuality, because it made it a lot easier for him accept, since he didn't need time to mull over things. He had already accepted the fact that I was gay, and if I had come home with some girl he would have been just fine wit that too. I was glad to have a father who accepted me for who I was. Now if only telling the rest of the people I needed to tell would be this easy.

The next morning I was hardly able to get out of bed. I just wanted to hide there forever so I would not have to tell another soul the truth about who I am. I'm not ashamed of it, it's just something that I would rather not share with a group of men I shower with! I knew if I got to work early enough I could talk to Alex and Emily before the rest of the guys came in. If I chickened out I could ask them to vouch that I wasn't feeling well. It was the best plan I could think of.

I got out of bed, and got ready to face what would be the hardest day of my life. I got there early because I knew that Emily and Alex usually tried to get there early enough to avoid the rest of the fire guys. I couldn't think of anything else but what I was going to say to them all the way to work. It surprised me that I had not managed to kill myself on the way in that day.

When I got to work the two of them were sitting at the table, dressed to start the day, sipping on their first cups of coffee. I poured myself a glass of water and sat with them.

"Good morning, Carter," they both greeted at the same time.

"What do you want?" I asked, concerned.

"Nothing," they, again, said in unison, making me know that they were up to something. They laughed hysterically.

"We just need a man's opinion on something," Alex assured me.

"If you're okay with giving it after we ask the question of course," Emily explained, I swore I saw an evil smile under that shy glance.

"Go ahead, ask me anything."

Alex smiled. "We're just wondering why it is that men are so turned on by lesbian porn, because we're fine with men loving each other it's just not something that we'd want to see. Past maybe a kiss or another tender moment that people accept from a male female couple in public."

I looked perplexed, but at least I would not have to steer the direction of the conversation to far to make my confession. I shrugged my shoulders, unsure what to tell them since, obviously lesbian porn did nothing for me.

"I really don't know why that is. I'm not really into lesbian porn, or any porn really," I explained. "I know that Garry prides himself on being a porno buff, if you wanted to ask him."

Emily laughed. "Not likely, Carter, we asked you because you are the only person here we may actually want to hear an opinion from."

"Sorry I can't be of more help." I wanted so much to walk away, and forget all about it.

It would be so much easier to stay locked in the closet forever, but I knew that one day I'd regret not being honest sooner. I just wasn't sure how to bring it up. What was I supposed to say, on the subject of porn I only like gay porn, cause well, I'm gay? I don't think that would work. I also thought that it would be odd to come out at the firehouse, but where else was I supposed to tell co-workers?

"You've got something else on your mind don't you?" Emily asked.

"And here I thought I was the one intuned with the universe," I laughed.

She laughed. "You are, and I'd never try to take the title from you Carter."

I laughed. "That's good cause I'd have to defend it to the death. But, yeah there is something on my mind, and I'm not sure how to say it."

"Do it the New York way and just blurt it out before you think," Alex offered.

"I'm not sure that this is exactly something that I want to just go and mouth off," I reasoned. "But it may be the best way, just to come out and say it." I paused for a long moment. "I want you two to the first at the house to know that, I'm gay."

"I knew it!" Emily exclaimed.

"Jesus, am I that obvious?"

"A ruggedly handsome firefighter with a heart of gold NOT having the chicks dangling from him can only mean one thing."

"What does that mean?"

"In the time we've worked here I've never seen you with a girlfriend, a bimbo, or heard any kind of jocked up story about your love, or my appropriatly, love life."

"Besides," Alex added. "The nicest guys are always gay."

"Except Tyrone right?" Emily, added with a laugh.

I saw the silly grin on her face, the same one I wanted to have once I finally found love. I was glad that they didn't seem to think it was a big deal. Of course they weren't the guys that showered with me every day.

"So have you told anyone here but us?" Emily asked.

"Not yet, I hope you'll be around when I tell them for moral support."

"You just want us to be your bodyguards!" She exclaimed with a playful punch.

I laughed. "If it comes to that I think you'd be better just to wait till they're done with me and drag my sorry ass to the hospital!"

"Maybe you could meet a cute nurse!" Alex laughed.

"Nurses are the best!" Garry exclaimed, coming in having only heard the last part of the conversation.

"Pig," snorted Emily.

He shook his head, and went upstairs, the other guys flowed in within a few minutes of each other. I knew that when they were all down I should break the news. I wished that the bell would go to save me from that fate, but I knew I would not be so lucky. We were all downstairs, drinking coffee, and waiting for something to happen, although I don't think anyone suspected that it would be an announcement that would send us into a fury.

I couldn't think of any other way to just come out and tell them the truth.

"I'm gay," I said, not realizing I had said anything out loud, it got so quiet you could hear a pin drop. "Yeah, that's what I said! I said that I'm gay! All right are you happy now! You don't have to whisper and wonder, I just came out and said it."

Everyone looked at me in shocked silence. Okay, so that was not how I imagined that going, I had actually lost my temper before anyone could say anything to anger me. I sat down, and waited for them to say, something anything, but no one did. Of course, right after everyone seemed to have taken in the confession the bell went off, and all any of us could think about was getting to the fire.

For a few weeks everything was strange every time I would walk by everyone but the girls would pick up and walk away from me. They felt betrayed, but didn't want to say anything to my face. That was probably the loneliest time of my life. When we were riding in the truck, I was quiet, scared to get involved, because I knew that they wouldn't want me too. It was strange, but I would have preferred that they had kicked the living shit out of me and got it over with, instead they were acting like school boys. When we were supposed to be brothers. I knew that I had lost their trust, and couldn't think of a good way to gain it back.

Part of me wanted to go back in time and take it all back. I wished so much that I had just kept it all locked inside, and this way nothing would have changed. I felt like an outcast any time I was with my crew. I even backed out of a drinking night because I just couldn't handle doing anything with them that I didn't have to. Emily and Alex were really supportive during the whole thing, and were somewhat of liaisons between me and the rest of the guys. They had even tried me to go out that night to show them that I was the same person that I had always been, but I just wasn't up to it.

I knew that I was the same person I had been for a long time, but it would take them a while to realize that for themselves. Instead of playing into any kind of trap, I just waited, patiently for the storm to pass, and with anything really, it went away. Garry, who I figured had been up to it, had come up to me to talk about what I had said.

"So, how long have you been gay, man?" he asked.

I shrugged. "I've been gay all my life," I responded.

"So you've never been with a woman?"

I shrugged. "Actually, I have, I wanted to make it go away when I was in high school, and college, but it's not like that. This is a part of me, it always has been, and I've realized that it always will."

He nodded. "So, have you ever liked anyone you work with?"

I laughed. "Hell no! I know what firefighters are like, I wouldn't go near one with a ten foot pole!"

He started to laugh as well. "That's a relief, at least we don't have to worry about you checking us out in the shower." I shook my head. "You guys are just not my type at all."

"Buy you a beer?"

"Sure."

So that's how it happened that he, and the rest of the crew accepted who I was. It felt good to finally get the weight off my shoulder. It felt even better when I was finally able to feel like everything was back to normal. I was glad that everyone now knew the truth.

end notes: i know the beginning is stronger then end, so pls don't tell me, i had already decided he was gay, and wanted him to come clean, but wasn't sure how to write it, i hope it somewhat worked tho... hehe anyway pls tell me what 'ya think next up think will prolly Kylie, but it may be Dylan 


	4. Kylie

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Kylie  
AUTHOR: trista groulx  
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language (could change as the series progresses)  
SUMMARY: another look into the next generation, through somewhat familiar eyes, a change up though, we have a cop telling her story, thank you Kylie  
AUTHORS NOTES: all righty, this one takes place at about the same time Carter comes out of the closet. The laws about the kids, is really a dream of mine, i would love to see something like that go into effect. hey! it's like twenty plus years into the future it could happen! i can't remember for the life of me if kylie's sister had a name in the series, so instead of putting a wrong name, i avoided it, if someone knows the name pls tell me! i could use it in the future. i have decided to make two parts for each charcter, then a fun epilogue... oh sorry for the delay, my muse ran off when my heart was broken, and she's only now returning, this piece may seems a little forced, but i hope it works! 

My name is Kylie Kenny, I know, one more "K" and you've got a bunch of racial supremacists running around in white robes. The kids in school used to remind me of that almost every day. It's not like I chose my name; nor did my parents who gave me my last name, but you know how kids are, and that's why I never want to have any. Strangely though it seems to have focused on protecting kids. My work is my life, and I like it that way. If you care I'm a cop, but I'm also a person with more baggage then one human being should carry.

I guess that anyone who's been adopted has a lot of stuff they carry around with them. I know that all the shrinks I had to see as kid would remind that everyone feels the same way. Thank you so much for making a gal feel special! From what I can figure out I get my bad attitude from my biological father, Carlos, and when I was a teen my parents would remind me of that all the time when they got mad. They apologized for it later, but it still cut.

One of my best friends is my little half brother, Carter, I only met him when he was about fifteen, and he ignored me until he was about eighteen, but after that we became best friends. Mostly because I had been keeping a secret of his safe. My half brother is gay, and he's also a firefighter. Short of going to a Republican convention you'd be hard pressed to find a place less tolerant of that life choice.

I also have a big sister, who was also adopted by the same family, and I love her to death too. Although I know it would have been cool to have been raised by Carlos, I thank him every day that he decided that I deserved a family.

He has explained to me so many times that he wanted nothing more to keep me, but when he realized that the family that was interested in adopting me had extended family he could not compete. He was a scared young man at the time, and wanted to keep hold of what was his, but knew that it would be selfish. So he decided to let go of the one person who could love him unconditionally so that she could have a family. How could you NOT want know a man like that?

He's told me some pretty crazy stories about his past, and how much of an ass he was, but I just can't believe it because of what he did for me. Also it's hard to find someone who is as good to his son as someone who didn't give a shit about anything once. I guess time does change people though.

What bugs me the most is that I have the most love out of anyone I know; I have two fathers that think I'm daddy's little girl; I have a little brother who I didn't have to go through all the gross growing boy stuff with.; I have two parents who are still happily married, and I have a big sister who, though I don't see as much as I like, I am great friends with; but I'm not happy. What more could a girl ask for? What kind of girl would ask for more? This girl however, needs to know the last piece of herself, who her mother was. Is that selfish?

It feels like there is something missing out of my life, because I don't know her. I don't know anything about who she was, nor do I know a thing about her family. I just want to know a little bit about her, and the other half of my medical history. My mother died, shortly after I was born. Her family found Carlos and according to him, told them that I was now his problem. He's probably exaggerating about the extent of their enthusiasm about me being in their lives. I am currently using a service which searches for lost family members, hoping they can find someone with the information that I had.

Unfortunately, because I was obviously an accident, Carlos does not know much about my birth mother. I know her name, and that he thinks she was nuttier then a fruitcake. That's why he didn't really have anything to do with me until I was dumped on his doorstep. He thought that she had only said she was pregnant to try and get more from him then they had.

It's really hard to go through life feeling like you're missing a part of yourself, but I don't really have much of a choice. The few attempts I have made to contact my birth mother's family got me the proverbial door slammed in my face. It bothered me more then I'd like to admit that they didn't even want to know anything about me.

It's not like I was looking for an extended family, I already had more then enough. I just want to know about my heritage, all of it. I like when Carlos tells me about my Latina heritage, even if I've found history texts more knowledgeable, he really does try to explain stuff to me.

Carlos doesn't know his family either, and it kind of makes us kindred spirits, and that's why he really does try to answer any questions I have. But I know it's hard to do when you only have limited knowledge of your own past. But he is always there for me when I run down another possible family member who does not want anything to do with their family's dirty little secret.

He has always been supportive of my finding out everything I can about myself. We have even gone to families we thought were his together, only to find it to be a complete dead end. Every time he hit a snag he would get discouraged, whereas I would make it strength my resolve to get the answers I sought.

My father and I are just so different, and that's probably why I'm so desperate to find out who Vangie really was so that I could understand the side of me that has nothing to with the way I was raised.

There are certain things that my sister and I do that no one else in the family does. We know that those mannerisms have to do with our birth families. That's one of the reasons we are so close. We would both examine the other's differences, and would talk about how much it bugged us that way may never know where those little insignificant mannerisms came from, although they're not so insignificant to us.

My sister also likes to ask me where I got the idea to become a police officer, and I can't even answer her. It was just something I felt I needed to try, and found out I was good at. I actually really like my job, most of the time. I feel like I'm actually helping the world in my own way, and that's one of the most amazing feelings in the world. You'd think a teacher would understand the need to want to help people.

That day while I was on shift I got a call from my baby brother that it seemed that his male co-workers were finally starting to accept his announcement, and were glad to hear that he was not attracted to any of them. I was riding with Matthews that day, he usually rode with Davis, but since it was his day off I got stuck with him.

I've always known that Mathews was bad news, but after the way he dealt with Emily and his daughter had proven to me that he was an ass. I had been almost two years since his daughter was born and I could count on one hand the amount of times he had spent any real time with her.

Riding with him was no different from the other times I had gotten the pleasure to ride with him. He was so self absorbed, he actually got mad at me for talking to my brother on the phone.

"So can you believe her getting all pissed off because I can't remember her kid's birthday?" he asked me as I tuned back into his conversation.

"Who's birthday did you forget this time?" I asked.

"I haven't forgotten it yet! How the hell am I supposed to remember Angela's birthday."

"She's your daughter!"

He shrugged. "I wish people would stop saying that!"

"It's the truth, as much as you don't want to admit it you are her father. Blood tests have proven that more then once!"

"All you chicks are the same!"

"You're an ass you know that?" I snapped. "Tell me again why it is that you and Davis don't have the same day off this week."

"He has an appointment or something, and switched his day off, so I get stuck with you."

"Trust me, this is no picnic for me either."

There was no love lost between the two of us. He tried to pick me up his first day on the job, not realizing I was the person he was going to ride with. Needless to say that day did not go well, nor did any other day we were stuck riding together. There was no love lost between us, but at least we had learned, for the most part to keep it clean when we were out of the car.

"Why are you such a bitch?" he asked.

"Same reason you're such an ass," I replied. "It's one day if we keep our mouths shut it'll probably make life easier for both of us."

He shrugged. "Do you think I should see my kid more?"

"Yeah, whether you wanted her or not she's here."

Just as he was about to respond we got a call for a domestic disturbance. Could this get any worse? Having to bring mister insensitivity to that kind of call. He was a shoot 'em up kind of cop, who liked action. While I pretty much specialized in domestic situations. I couldn't think of too much that could be worse.

When we got the scene we discovered that a neighbour had called after hearing a lot of screaming, and slammed doors from the apartment next to hers. At first no one seemed to be home. Just as we were about to leave a woman with a black eye opened the door.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Your neighbour called us, she is concerned about a possible domestic disturbance," Mathews explained.

"She was wrong."

"Let's go."

I glared at him. "Unfortunately we have to investigate the scene ourselves to ensure that we will not get a similar call later today."

I knew Dylan was rolling his eyes behind me. I just hoped that she didn't see it. I was lying, I didn't have to investigate any further, but I knew that if I didn't we might end up back at this door later. The fact that she looked terrified and she was obviously hurt just proved that something had happened, and she was afraid of the consequence, I had seen it all too often. How did people get like that?

"I can't let you in," she replied.

"Is there someone there who will hurt you if you do?"

"No, but I shouldn't let you."

I shook my head. "I need to at lest ask you some questions. What's your name?" She looked so familiar to me.

"Kirstyn, K-I-R-S-T-Y-N, James," she replied.

"I used to have a friend in school who spelled her name like that."

"Don't try to get me to open up to you officer Ken- Kylie Kenny?"

"That's what my badge says. Kirstyn, what happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

I shrugged. "There are ways that whoever did this to you will never find out."

"Kylie, why are we wasting our time on this. We have other calls," Matthews whined.

"I have not heard anything saying we need to be elsewhere. If you're going to do this, go downstairs, and wait for me in the car. If I hear something urgent over the radio I'll join you."

"I'm not a child."

"If you don't want to do your job properly then I don't need you around."

"I'm going downstairs. If you're not there within five minutes of any call, I'll go alone." He disappeared down the hallway.  
Kirstyn let me in. "Your partner is kind of cute."

I shook my head. "I'd rather stick my head in an oven then attempt even friendship with that man." She laughed. "Can you tell me what happened, and then we can figure out the best course of action?"

She shrugged. "If I do anything he'll take my kids."

"I can help make sure that doesn't happen."

"How?"

"There's been a lot of legislation lately because there have been so many child abduction cases, where one parent will take the child out of spite. While we cannot protect them everywhere, we can protect them at school, without the other parent knowing why they cannot be removed from the school environment."

She looked at me, and for the first time since I got there, I saw some hope in her eyes. "How would I do that?"

"All you need to do is sign a waiver saying that, I, or any officer acting on my behalf may intervene if a problem arises with, in this case, the father, on school premises. The document can only be seen by court officials if it turns out that you have lied, and you abduct your children, or by the judge in a custody hearing. If a judge allows your – husband?" She nodded. "If the judge lets your husband see it, he will be disbarred, and it cannot be written into the official log as being one of the deciding factors for awarding custody."

She nodded. "That sounds great!"

"For your safety, and your children's I'm going to suggest that you go to a shelter until their programme helps to relocate you. If you decide to do so I can help you get in." "I don't know."

"It's a hard decision, one which I know I would not want to be face with. But think about your children. Whether you realize it or not, they know that you are in danger. Also, if he hasn't already, it is normally just a matter of time before he does the same to your children. I know you don't want to admit it, and that he loves you, but you need to make this decision for your children." I was trying to stay professional, but it was hard. I just wanted to shake my former friend until she listened to reason.

"What happens when he finds out that I've called the police?"

I shook my head. "You didn't call, your neighbour did. While the system is not foolproof many of the flaws that people read about in the news are exaggerated. You are much safer at shelter, with their guidance and expertise then you are trying to stick it out yourself."

"I can't go to the hospital. He'll know that I went."

I looked at her. "I don't think you need to go the hospital. The shelter will make the final decision, but if they feel you need to see a doctor they will send you to one of theirs. They have therapists on hand to help you and your children cope with the changes, and if anything further happens they will also help with that." "I don't have any money of my own."

"Then you will help out, when you are on your feet they will ask you for donations to support other women like yourself." "I just don't know."

"Do you want to be a punching bag the rest of your life?"

She shrugged. "He could change."

"Then someone else may be able to appreciate that."

"You don't understand!"

"Maybe, I don't, but I have seen many cases like this. I tend to be the person who gets these cases, because apparently I have the knack for them. Generally when someone stays, I end up at their funeral."

"Why would you go?"

I shrugged. "When I have the chance, and I've worked with a someone fairly closely I tend to want some closure. I know that you love him. But love is not supposed to hurt this much. I'm going to give you my card, with my cell phone number on it. You don't have to make his choice right away, but if you change your mind, don't hesitate to call." I stood up to leave.

"Wait!" she cried. "Are you sure my children will be safe?"

"As safe as we can make them legally."

"I'm not sure about a shelter, but I know that I do not him to have access to them at school."

I nodded. "You will have to come down the station house to fill out the proper documents. But I can put the restriction into effect immediately. I'll just need some information from you, and I will answer any questions you may have."

"All right."

"What are their names, and ages?"

"They're twins, they're both six. They have his last name, Russell." She showed me a picture. "That's Melanie, and that's Michael."

"They're adorable." I smiled. "May I have this picture for their file?"

"Of course."

"What school are they currently attending?"

"PS 12."

"All right, perfect."

"Now we are going to get you identification kits when you fill out the paper work. It will provide you with everything you will need so that they can be identified anyway, finger prints, to dental records. In the interim however, we ask for any birth marks, or scars which will make it easy to identify if he tries to change their appearance." She went white. "Oh God!"

"It's just a precaution, if I had children I would have an ID kit even if I had not reason to fear someone taking them. Many of my co-workers have them for their own children. It's just a precaution which we hope will never have to be used. This way if something does happen, then any information we need is right at hand."

She nodded. "Melanie has a heart shaped birthmark on her shoulder blade. It is a discolouration, that looks almost like a tan in that one spot. Michael has a scar on the back of his leg, near the fold of his knee from sitting on a curling iron when he was three."

"Perfect, and I will also need all contact information, for yourself, and a person who you trust enough to tell what you will be doing. This is incase he tries anything we can discreetly call and inform you so you may change any routine to get them home as safely as possible."

"You do all that?" She asked after giving me all the information I needed.

"Yes, it's a fairly new system, but so far we find it is well worth it. As soon as this is called in your children will be safe at school."

"Thank you, Kylie."

I shook my head. "Don't thank me, all you had to do was listen."

"Are people always so difficult?"

"Mostly, yes. The heart is a strange thing that makes us all do even stranger things. I personally may not understand, but I know the cases I have seen, and that's what I like to go on. I have a soft spot for kids, so I like to dedicate as much of my time educating people about new laws which have been put in place to protect them."

My radio went off, and heard that there had been shots fired. Kirstyn's face went pale, and I turned to leave.

"How do you do it, Kylie?" she asked

"It's my job." I told her. "It was nice seeing you again, and hopefully I'll see you at the station when you come in to finish all the paper work."

"Here's hoping."

I left, ran downstairs, and got into the car. I had barely closed the door and Mathews had taken off. I struggled to pull my seatbelt on.

"Took you long enough," he grunted.

"I came as fast as I could," I told him.

When we got to the scene there were already two cars there, and they seemed to have everything under control.

"You made me miss a good call," he growled, as we drove away.

"I know that you don't care about women and children, but it's still a part of your job, you should learn to deal with those situations better."

"Whatever, you should learn to not get so involved."

"Just because I am not risking my life to help save these people does not mean that my work is less then yours."

"I never said that." He grumbled. "Besides I love women, and I have a kid, so I don't know where you think you can get away telling me I'm not sensitive."

I shrugged. 'You love women in your bed, and once they're not there you have no use for them. You even treat me like an inferior, so get off the cross. As for your child, I will believe you are really a father when you spend time with her. Only strengthening my case for you having no need for women outside the bedroom."

"You're a bitch you know that?"

I shrugged, I never let him bother me. "You only hate me cause you can't con me into jumping into bed with you."

"Davis had better be back tomorrow."

"I'd shoot myself to avoid working with you."

"Please do."

That had been the extent of the friendship between he and I. Mostly I had only heard stories about Emily from Carter, but it all seemed very harsh. Most of the time he would come in bragging about what he had done, bagging her again, as he put, which pissed me off even more. He was always telling people about the way he got out of seeing his daughter. It pissed me off so much. Here was a guy who simply could not be bothered to step up to the plate and be a father.

I called in the information for the last call, and not twenty minutes later I got a call saying that the father was at the school looking to take the children out of school early. I could tell that Mathews was pissed that he had to come along on the call. I did these sorts of calls more often then I would have liked.  
We pulled up to the school, I had been there a couple of times before. I went right to the office, I heard a man before I saw him.

"If I want to I can take my fucking kids! They are MY kids!" he yelled.

"I'm sorry, Sir, I told you already, we have orders from the police not to allow you to leave with them," the secretary tried to explain.

"It must be a fucking mistake! I've never hurt my kids, and I can take them when I fucking want!"

"Please Sir!"

I could tell he was angry, and he'd be even more angry when he saw me. I took out my badge.

"Excuse me, Sir, if you would like to scream at anyone, please scream at me. I'm Officer Kenny, with the NYPD."

"Tell me why I can't fucking take my children!" he demanded.

"Please, try to calm down."

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down! I need to bring them to an appointment."

"All right, I'll just call your wife to verify."

His eyes fell. "I just want to take them for ice cream, as a surprise."

"That's a wonderful treat, unfortunately, I cannot let you leave this premises with your children."

"Why the fuck not?"

"My partner and I got a call this morning about domestic abuse."

"That bitch!" he thundered.

"A neighbour called in the complaint. When we arrived on the scene, late because of a traffic jam, we got no answer, and assumed no one was home. We talked to the caller, who said that she had heard many fights coming from the apartment. We did research, and decided it would be best if we contacted the school and advised them that the children could not leave without written consent from both parents."

"You have that right?"

I nodded. "Yes, there are many new laws in place to protect children. Our concern is for the children. We did not know who the fights were directed at, and want to make sure that your children are not hurt."

"So my wife would have the same problem taking the kids?"

"Yes, Sir, she would. Unfortunately because of the nature of the complaints, I am going to have to ask you to come with me. Normally I would simply drive you home, but because of the incident this morning, I will have to bring you to the station. You are not being charged with anything, we are only bringing you there to ensure that the children get home safely." I knew that he was angry, but he couldn't really fight me. He knew that if he did then he might incriminate himself. I took him to the car, and made the excuse that I had to go to the washroom, so that I could make the call to Kirstyn, so she would know what was going on.

We ended up having to keep him at the station about an hour. She actually came to pick him up, with the kids. So he would not get suspicious about anything. I just hoped that he had believed my story about the neighbour and would not take his anger out on her that night.

I always found it odd when I ran into people I had known when I was in the field. I always wondered how they had gotten from the point that I had last seen them, to the trouble they then faced. Kirstyn and I had been very close until her parents put her into private school, and we lost track of one another. It was hard not to be attached to the case. While I was only doing what I would have done for anyone else, I could not stop thinking about it.

It was my day off, a few months later. I had gone to the agency that were taking care of my case to find out about my family. I was worried what new development had taken place, but I hoped it would be good news. Normally I would ask someone to go along with me, but that day I decided t go alone. I got there, and hardly had to wait before I was called into one of the offices to talk about the news.

"How are you today?" asked Jon, who had been taking care of my case from the beginning.

"I'm good, yourself?" he replied.

"Pretty good."

"Is it good or bad."

"I'm sorry, I wish I had better news for you."

I nodded. "What now?"

"They asked that we stop harassing them. We are no longer allowed to contact them on your behalf, and you are not allowed to contact them directly."

"They can do that?"

He nodded. "You're a police officer you should know. They consider it harassment, unfortunately, there is nothing we can do. If we keep digging we may get a court order against us, which would be bad for the company."

I nodded, "I understand."

"I'm sorry, Kylie."

I shook his hand, and left the office. I was crushed, not only did I not know anything about that part of my family, as of that day I never could, unless they had a change of heart, and found the need to get to know me. That ball was in their court, and I couldn't do anything to change that fact.

Since it was my day off I decided to meet my sister at the school where she worked. She worked in one of the rougher neighbourhoods in New York, and I was glad that she stuck with it there, instead of running off scared, like most people did. She felt that her time was best spent helping kids who needed it the most. She had been offered jobs at many private schools, but she always turned them down. She would rather help kids who needed it, then to teach kids with silver spoons in their mouths.

I often thought her time would be better spent as the school guidance consoler, but it had always been her dream to become a teacher, so that was what she did. It was hard some days, I knew, but she did a good job with what she had. She may not have had the best resources, and she mostly had over crowded classes, but she always made time for kids who needed a bit of help.  
I signed in, and went right to her usual room. As I was going in, a student was leaving. I knocked on the door gently and let myself in. She looked up, then got up to give me a hug.

"You remember I was telling you about that kid Noah?" she asked me.

"The kid who was hoping to get a scholarship to Harvard?" I asked.

"That's the kid, who just left. He came to tell me that he got in!"

"That's wonderful!" I always liked to be reminded that there was good in the world.

" I know, I'm so proud of him, he worked so hard for it." She was smiling from ear to ear. "What bring you here this fine afternoon?"

I smiled. "I had the day off and needed to talk to my big sister."

"Come on Ky, there's more to it then that. Want to go for coffee and we can talk about it?"

I nodded. "That would be nice."

We went to a nearby coffee shop, and were lucky enough to find two cushioned chairs. I sat down, and wasn't sure where to start.

"How's work?" she asked.

"It's been good, glad to have had the day off though."

"I bet! I need more of those."

I laughed. "The life of a public service worker. You help society and all you get is an ulcer!"

She shook her head. "Tell me what's up, please."

"I got a call from the agency today. I went down there, Vangie's family doesn't want anything to do with them, or me. If I try to contact them at all they'll file charges." I began to cry.

She came around the table and hugged me. "That's horrible I know how much you wanted to get to know them."

"I just want to know the other part of myself." I began to sob.

"You don't need them to know who you are."

"I just need to know who she really was."

"Ask Carlos." She reasoned.

I shook my head. "Carlos thinks she was nuttier then a fruitcake! Her family would know the truth, though. I need to know if she had some kind of – something – that I'd have to worry about."

"If something does strike you like that, you have a family who would love and support you through the entire ordeal. You know Mom and Dad would help you."

I shrugged. "I know but-"

"Besides if your job hasn't made you go off the deep end, nothing will. Just keep talking when things get to you, and you should be fine."

My big sister was so smart, that why I thought she'd make a good counselor. But it had been her dream to be a teacher. When we were kids, just after she started school, she would get home and try to teach me all that she had learned that day. She even taught me how to read. She was a great big sister, and helped me all the way through school whenever I struggled. She even helped me through Police Foundations, even when she didn't know a the first thing about it.

"I know you're right, but I really wanted that last piece of the puzzle."

She nodded. "I understand, I would have been crushed not knowing both sides of my family. So there's nothing you can do?"

"No, all I can do is hope that someone may have a change of heart, and try and find me."

We talked for a little while longer before we both had to leave. When I got home I had a message on my machine saying that I'd be working with Mathews the next day. At least they gave me warning about him this time.

I was not looking forward to working with him. Especially after what had happened with Vangie's family. He got under my skin. He would not acknowledge his own child, but if anything ever happened he would never give up his right to her. He had told me as much. He didn't want her, but he didn't want anyone else raising her. I didn't know the inns and outs of the story, I just knew it pissed me off as someone who had been adopted.

Emily was probably an excellent mother, but he had been the one who had asked her to keep her, and now he had nothing to do with either of them.

I knew Emily was ready to put the baby up for adoption because she had sought me out to talk to me about what it had been like to be raised by my adoptive parents, and knowing Carlos. I told her that it was honestly the best thing he had ever done for me, because I got a life he could not have given me. She told me that she was going to put her up for adoption.

A week later I saw them arguing, and Matthews told me that he had begged her to let him help raise the baby. Two years later, he was nowhere to be found, and the child was stuck being raised by her grandmother, while her mother worked her butt off to try and give her everything she needed. When what would have been the best thing for her would have been two loving parents.

I tried to keep my hostility toward him to a minimum, but the circumstances of the last few days would make it the biggest challenge I had faced working with him. Hopefully it would only be for a day. I knew I could handle one day with that idiot.

end  
end notes: all right, agian sorry for the delay, the next one should not take so long, i have it written, just needs some editing, and i have half the following one too! next up will be Dylan followed by Tyrone, then we will go back through the list to conclude with a 3rd person POV epilogue! hope you like this one after all the tiem it took to get it out!


	5. Dylan

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Dylan AUTHOR: trista groulx DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language (could change as the series progresses)  
SUMMARY: Today Dylan will tell us his story, he has no orginal TW DNA, but I thought he may need to be better understood.  
AUTHORS NOTES: this one takes place after Kylie and Dylan have to work together. Dylan is a bit of an ass, but I think a more fair discripition, i think the best way to put it is, he's a little boy who thinks he can play with the big boys. you'll see what i mean. oh and pre-wearning i'm not so good with action scences, so deal with the little bit that i have in this one. the muse is doing good, my heart is healing, so i should be able to update this more regularly from now on!

After two days of working with Kylie, my usual partner, Tyrone Davis was finally back in action. He had caught a nasty cold, and was forced to take a couple of days off to recuperate. It was a wonder Kylie and I hadn't killed each other in the past two days. It wasn't even our usual kind of bitterness that had made it so unbearable. I knew there was something else that was eating her insides, but she refused to open up to me. When I even tried to bring it up, she'd tell me where to shove it.

Most of the time I deserved her hostility, I did try to pick her up the first day we met. How was I supposed to know I'd have to ride with her? Her first impression of me was certainly far from positive, but she'd usually tolerate me a little more then she had those two days.

When lunch time came around we decided to stop at a small diner, that had some of the best food I'd ever tasted. It wasn't far from where we were, and it seemed like a good idea. We had a booth, sitting on opposite sides of each other, still looking at the menus.

"Am I ever glad you're back man!" I told Davis.

"I've been sick, I couldn't really control it," he laughed.

"I know, but working with Kylie is like a death sentence."

He shook his head. "You two just have a hate thing."

I shrugged. "I guess so, I don't know what I ever did to her."

"You know that women either love you or hate you, Romeo. She's one of the haters," he chuckled

I laughed. "I guess so." I didn't want to dwell on it that, so I changed the subject to his new girl. "Where's the wife these days?"

He shook his head. "I'd hardly call her the wife."

"You've been dating for what, two months now?"

"Yeah."

"That's enough of a ball and chain for me, thank you very much."

He laughed. "This from the guy with the kid."

"Whatever man."

"She got back from visiting her dad last night. I'm supposed to meet her at the station house after work tonight."

I smiled. "Look, Davis, all I'm saying is that you could play the field a little more."

"And you could play it less, what's your point?" he retorted.

"When the cat's away the mice should play."

"Whatever."

"You shouldn't restrict yourself to one woman the rest of your life, it just doesn't seem natural."

"Who said anything about the rest of my life? Right now I just want to see where this is going to go." He took a sip of his coffee.. "Maybe you should pay more attention when you find someone special."

"You are not suggesting that Emily is the one, are you?"

"She could be, she has put up with your sorry ass longer then almost anyone. You really need to think more about your daughter in all of it."

I shrugged. "Do I look like I give a shit about the kid?"

"That, my friend, is the problem."

I pondered that a moment. I had no problem admitting I was a ladies man. I loved the ladies, and just because I happened to get one knocked up doesn't mean I should treat her special. So she has my kid, it wasn't even like we were in love. We had sex three times before she told me she was pregnant. After that I stopped talking to her for a while. I'd still call her when I was lonely, but that was all. That did not constitute a relationship in my books. So it certainly wasn't love. despite what she seems to think.

I did ask her to keep the kid, but only because I couldn't stand to see someone else raise my son. If she had just had a boy then everything would have worked out. A part of me wanted to get to know my daughter, but I didn't know what to with her. If only she had had a boy, then maybe I could have figured something out. But I know how to do one thing with girls, and that is not something you do with your kid. The more Emily nagged me about it, the less I wanted to do it. I wish she would learn that already.

She hadn't asked me in a while to give the kid up, and I wouldn't even if Prince Charming himself pulled up on his white horse. I may get sick of her bullshit every once in a while, asking me to help her with the kid. But I dealt with that to make sure that no else was raising my kid.

At least if Emily had her, I could, in theory, jump into her life whenever I felt like it. I just hadn't felt like doing that yet. I had lots of time to get to know my kid, she was only two. Maybe when I didn't have to worry about spit up and diapers, she may be fun to do stuff with. Until then, I just didn't know how to deal with a baby.

I never claimed to by a good guy. Just cause I'm a cop chicks expect me to be some kind of White Knight. I'm not, I do my job, and sometimes I pick up chicks by doing so. It doesn't mean I'm the answer to their prayers. I loved my job, but if I was only it for the girls, then I'd have been a firefighter. Everyone knows they pick up more then the cops ever could.  
"Are you even listening to me?" I heard Davis ask.

"Sorry, I spaced for a minute there," I replied.

"That's what I was trying to say, you need to grow up. You're a good cop, but your people skills are lacking."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"There is more to your job then just chasing bad guys. You need to understand that!"

'Where the hell is this coming from?"

He shook his head. "If you had been listening, you would have heard me bring up the last call we were on."

"What about it? That woman was nuts!"

"I know that, but you didn't have to make her feel uncomfortable."

"She needed a doctor, not a cop."

"Again, I know that, but until the medics got there it was our job to keep her calm."

"Like hell it was!"

"As much as you don't like that kind of thing, it is a part of your job. So is dealing with domestic cases when you're working with Kylie. You don't have to like every assignment, but you can't make the people feel uncomfortable man."

I shrugged. "Look, I'm sorry, I'll try harder next time."

He glared at me. "I'm serious man."

"What's the sudden interest in the way I handle myself on cases, anyway?"

"Boss wants me to report back, there have been a few complaints. I'm not supposed to tell you that you need to shape up or they'll ship you out."

"Out where?"

"Best case scenario some kind of sensitivity training, worst case to an unemployment line."

"Jesus, does this have to do with Kylie?"

"I doubt it. I don't even think she was the catalyst. You've just had a few complaints about how you treat people sometimes."

"So I'm supposed to feel sorry for them? What ever happened to not getting too involved?"

"There's a difference between not getting involved and acting like you want to be anywhere else."

I shook my head. "I'll try harder then."

"Don't shoot the messenger. I didn't have to tell you."

It wasn't him I was pissed off at, I thought I was good at my job, and then I find out from my partner that some people think I'm doing my job wrong, and I'm just supposed to grin and bare it? So I like the rough and tumble stuff better, isn't that why most people do that job? Not that I cared, I knew I was good at what I was doing, and I could pretend like I gave a shit about boring cases.

The bell on the diner door rang, and I looked up. I couldn't believe it, of all the diners in New York, Emily and Alex had to walk into the one we were at. I wondered if Davis had invited them. The waitress walked by our table.

"Wait!" said Alex. "Could we just sit here?"

"Yeah no problem," she replied, handing them each a menu.

Davis stood up, and they hugged, which too soon turned into a too long for comfort kiss.

"Get a room," both Emily and I grumbled, after she sat down next to me.

They pulled away then both sat down. I could tell that he had his hand on her thigh. Love was for loser, I thought to myself. Emily didn't look pleased about having to spend her lunch with me. I knew she was nice enough to let her friend be happy.

"Isn't it funny how we happened to be right near here," Alex laughed. "Emily said this place is really good."

"You've been living here how long and you've never been here?" I asked, trying to be nice.

She shrugged. "I must be missing out on something." She looked at the menu.

"I missed you," I heard Tyrone, try to whisper, she giggled, and kissed him lightly, hoping we wouldn't notice.

"So, Emily, how's Angela?" I asked.

"She's been asking about you," she replied.

"Maybe I'll come by on the weekend."

She nodded. "I'll tell her when you're ringing my doorbell."

"You don't have to be so nasty about it!"

"I'm sorry that I'm getting tired of seeing my daughter getting all excited cause she gets to see her daddy, only for her to be disappointed."

"Whatever."

"You don't have to believe me. But she gets really excited when she hears that you're coming. She brushes all her dolls hair, and won't stop talking about it. Then I get a call saying you can't make, and I have to listen to her bawling for an hour, asking me why Daddy didn't come visit her."

I never realized before that I had any effect on her, I hardly even saw her. I wasn't trying to upset her. I just had other things to do.

"I didn't ask to be her father, you know?"

"I didn't ask to be her mother, what's your point?"

"You just do the job better."

"Maybe if you'd try."

She was right, I hadn't really tried to be a father. If she would just leave me alone, and let me do things at my pace, then it would be fine. I didn't ask for the kid. I just wasn't ready to be a father yet. It's not like the kid would even remember if I was there or not.

"Look, I'll try," I said trying to shut her up. "Just stop nagging me!"

"I'll believe it when I see it."

One day I'd show her that I could be a father, but I just didn't see why it had to be that day. I could tell that Davis was getting annoyed with me.

"How about we just drop this for now?" I asked her. "I'll bring you out to supper and we can talk then?" I could tell Alex was trying to give her a cautionary look. I stared right into Emily's eyes, diverting her attention. "Please?"

"All right."

Alex sighed loudly, but I knew that she wouldn't go back on her word.

"How about we try and just enjoy our lunch?" I said, trying to change the subject.  
We all ate in relative silence. No one sure what to say to anyone else. I knew that Davis would blast me when we got back to the car, but I didn't care. I didn't want my dirty laundry aired in front of the two of them. We got our bills, paid, and went to leave. Davis and Alex were kissing, and Emily had already left.

She pulled away, her arms around his neck. "Love you," she whispered, kissing him again.

"Love you, Baby," he replied, kissing her once more before, they started walking toward the door.

When I knew she was out of earshot I made the "whipped" sound.

"Grow up man!" Davis said, getting in the car.

"Don't try and tell me that's not whipped," I laughed.

He shrugged. "Look I care about her."

"She's a ball and chain."

"Hardly, I haven't even introduced her to my parents."

I laughed. "That's only cause you're worried about what they'll say when they find out you're with a white chick."

He shook his head. "They won't care about that. It's just not that serious yet."

"Whatever."

"You're a child you know that?"

I shook my head, and repeated. "Whatever."

He laughed. "You're just jealous!"

"Hardly!"

"You're just mad that you didn't get the first crack at the new meat!"

"Don't delude yourself. She's not my type."

"Here I thought your type was just skinny."

I shook my head. "Whatever man, we have work to do."

That was my friendship with my partner. I had his back when we were working, but if we hadn't been forced to spend so much time together we'd probably not get along. We just have different views on everything. I wasn't jealous of what he had, that was the exact thing I was trying to avoid. I knew it was what Emily was digging for, and when I really needed something, I'd play on that.

I'm not a bad person, I just know how to get what I want. Emily is special, she has my kid. I'm just not the settling down kind, and one day she'd get it through her head. I didn't like hurting her, but sometimes that was how it had to be.

The day was average, and I stopped by the station house to pick up Emily. Tyrone was leaving hand in hand with Alex as I came in. The two of them were laughing at some joke I had missed. I looked around for Emily, I figured she was changing, so I sat down. Only a few minutes later she came down, wearing something I had never seen her wear before. A blue "V' neck shirt, and tight black jeans.

"That's new," I commented.

"It's borrowed," she replied.

"Oh."

"So you said something about super?'

"Yeah, don't you have to pick up Angela?"

She shrugged. "Do you want me to?"

"I'd like it better just the two of us. You can come over and I can cook you some supper, and just you know, talk."

"That sounds good."

She knew that we would end up doing more then just talk. We went to my place, and I ended up making her a chicken stir fry. I cleaned up a little, then went into the other room to sit with her.

"Why don't you want to see Angela?" she asked me.

I shrugged. "I'll come on the weekend, I promise." She nodded, looking upset. "I'm busy till then, I'm sorry. Nothing will keep me away. I haven't seen her in so long."

She nodded. "She does miss you."

"What about you?"

She looked up at me. "What about me?"

"Do you miss me Em?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

I ran my hands through her hair, and we started kissing. Soon my lips were at the hollow of her neck, where I knew she could not resist. I knew how it all would end, but it was worth it, she was good.

It had been about a month since I had last been with Emily. I tried but could not bring myself to visiting with the kid, and she was not talking to me because of it. My mind wasn't really on the job, cause I couldn't help but think that maybe Emily had finally had enough, and would not forgive me this time.

It wasn't too bad though, the day was pretty slow, and we were assigned to be a lookout near where a drug raid was going to happen. It wasn't my favourite part of the job, but it could have been worse. At least there was a possibility of something interesting happening.

It was about five minutes till everything would go down, and I noticed a guy running away from the house we had been watching for the last two hours. Without even thinking, I tore off after him. All I cared about was not letting one drug dealer go. I knew it would only be a few minutes before the place would be crawling with officers. What was the worst that could happen?

Davis must have followed me. I was pretty much tunnel visioned on the guy I was chasing. Suddenly I heard a gun shot, followed by a second, from somewhere behind me. I glanced back to see where the shot had come from, only to see that my partner falling.

I must have gone into shock, because after that, everything began to blur. I was so mad at myself for getting him hurt. Before I was able to reach for my radio, I saw a whole bunch of people fleeing the area. What felt like only seconds after they all fled in different directions, everyone on standby had started to swarm. I had been in the process of picking up my radio, and dropped it.

Only moments later, a bus arrived on the scene. I realized that I had fucked up the whole operation. To make matters worse Emily and Alex were the two medics who had jumped of the bus. I couldn't make my feet move closer, to tell her to stay back. I didn't snap out of it until I heard him yell his name.

She was knelt in front of him. "Tyrone?" I heard her repeat, this time more calmly.He didn't respond.

I stood there in shock, while she seemed to push aside all her personal feeling aside. Her training came into full effect, and nothing that was going on around her was effecting her. There were cops all over her, wondering what the hell was going on and if he'd be all right. She seemed to do a pretty good job ignoring them.

"Will you give me some room!" she thundered finally, and everyone backed away.

She didn't even seem phased by the fact that it was her boyfriend she was working on. She just worked on him like I had seen her work on dozens of people before. While she was playing the hero, I stood where I was, frozen, and not able to do anything.

I heard Emily ask, "Dylan, are you all right?"

"Huh?" I replied, somewhat snapping out of it.

"You're riding up front with me," she said, taking my hand, and leading me to the bus. "I think you're in shock you need to get to the hospital too. Just stay put until we load Davis in."

I nodded knowing, I wouldn't be able to move if I tried. "Is Davis going to be all right?"

"His vital signs are good. He has a wound that grazed the back of his neck, that I don't think did too much damage. A second bullet his arm, and only the doctors will be able to explain the extent of the damage."

I'm not even sure how she got me sat down, but she did. I didn't really see them loading him onto the rig. Until we took off, Emily was driving, which meant that Alex was somehow still working on Davis, just like she would have with any patient.

"You're going to be all right?" she heard her tell him. "You'll probably need surgery, but you'll be all right."

"Alex?" I heard him grumble.

"Shh, okay, Baby," she whispered. "I'm going to give you a sedative."

I didn't hear another word from either of them. I was slightly more alert, and doddled along behind them as they brought him into the trauma room.

I knew that after the doctors looked at me I'd get a blast from the boss. I was looked at quickly, then told to sit in one of the quiet rooms until they could make sure that I was just in shock.

I certainly was not expecting what happened next. I saw Alex come into the room, and she looked pissed.

"What happened?" she demanded.

"I went after someone, Davis must have followed me," I explained.

"How is that Mr. rough and tumble ready to shoot them all is fine, while he's –?" she couldn't even finish the sentence.

"I don't know!" 

"What the hell were you thinking?"

"Back the truck up! You're blaming me for all of this?"

"Yeah, I do blame you! If you ever did anything by the books, then maybe he wouldn't be on that table!"

"He didn't have to follow."

"And what would a few more minutes have meant?"

"What the hell?"

"We were on stand-by! Five minutes to what we thought was go time! Then we get a call saying to move in, quick because an officer was down. So why couldn't you just wait?"

"He would have gotten away!"

She shook her head. "The way I see it your over-zealousness let them all get away. Everyone, but your partner that is. Think about that for a minute! If you had just sat on your hands, then maybe the bad guys would be the ones I'd have had to save."

"Oh fuck you!"

"Fuck yourself! If anything happens to him, remember it's on your head!"

She stormed out of the room, and I didn't see her for a while after that. She was hot headed, I never really pegged her as the type that would do that. They say love does stupid things to you, but I never thought it could make a person react like that.

From what I could tell she was actually still going on runs while he was in surgery. Every time I saw her she was talking to a nurse, probably getting updates. I just sat in the same room where she had reamed me, trying to stay out of the way. I knew that the boss would be there soon, to give me even more grief that I couldn't deal with.  
I must have dozed off cause, he woke me up.

"Mathews!" he hollered.

"Yes, Sir!" I replied, sitting up straighter when I was fully awake.

"What the hell happened out there?"

"I saw someone fleeing the building, I didn't want him to get away. So I took off after him, Davis must have followed. When I heard the shots I stopped."

"Why didn't you wait for the operation to start?"

"I didn't want the guy to get away." I repeated.

"Thanks to that choice, not only is your partner in surgery, but everyone in the operation got away."

"I know."

"That's why there's protocol!"

"I know."

"You managed to completely ruin three months of a drug raid, in one split second decision. I really wish you'd think before you acted once in a while Mathews!"

"I'll try."

He shook his head. "You had better. While Davis is out, you're going to be with Kenny. If you step out of line, you both will be assigned exclusively to domestic."

I shrugged, it's not like I had a choice in the matter. Kylie was going to be pissed when she found out about the assignment.

"You could learn a thing or two from her, you know?" he added. "She's by the book, and I hope that it rubs off on you."

I nodded. "Are you saying Davis isn't?"

"I never said that. Davis just lets you get away with more."

"It's not like Kenny's my supervisor."

"No, but she will be reporting back to me on a regular basis."

"All right boss."

"Take tomorrow off, and you'll start with Kenny on Monday."

"Sure thing."

He left the room, and a few minutes later Kylie came in. Holding a cup of coffee.

"So he told you the news?" she asked.

"Yup," I replied.

"So I get the job of babysitting you."

"I don't think it's quiet that bad."

She slammed the empty coffee cup on the table. "That's what I'd call it! Not only do I have to work with you, but I need to make reports on what you're doing out there."

"Don't you go thinking this is going to be a cakewalk for me."

"You get to do your regular job. I just got handed a much bigger pile of shit, and what do I get for it?" I shrugged. "A fucking headache!"

"You know what, I've been chewed out by enough people, I really don't need you to be on that list. I know how you feel about me, so how about we just try and make the best of a bad situation?"

"Fine. What happened out there?"

I shook my head. "I decided I couldn't let one drug dealer go, so I took off about five minutes before everything was set do go down. Not only did an entire gang of dealers get away, but my partner could have gotten a bullet in the neck!"

"I thought it hit his arm?"

"One grazed the back of his neck. I'm not really sure where the shots came from, and whoever did it, is still out there. There's not going to be anything to trace the guy, and there's not even anyone who was caught to squeeze for the shooter's name."

"I had no idea."

"Spare me your fake sympathy."

"Fine, there's no use reasoning with you anyway!"

She left, slamming the door behind her. I sat down again. All I really wanted was a stiff drink and a good lay. I wasn't going to get any of that until I knew that Davis had made it through surgery with no problems.  
I must have dozed off again, because a nurse woke me.

"Officer Mathews," she said softly.

I opened my eyes, she was hot, I didn't remember meeting her before.

"Please," I said softly. "Call me Dylan."

She smiled, blushing slightly. "All right – Dylan. Your partner is out of surgery, he's just waking up. You can see him if you'd like."

I shook my head. "He'd slug me if this was the first mug he saw as soon as he woke up."

She smiled. "All right then."

"Could you do me a favour though?"

She nodded. "Sure."

"If you see a medic in here, named Alex, she's got long brown hair in a ponytail, she works with another girl with long curly hair, that looks like a pom-pom in a pony tail; could you tell her that Davis is up?"

"Sure, thing."

I smiled at her. "Thank you, you're a real help." She grinned. "Maybe we could get a coffee sometime."

She laughed. "Maybe. I have to go, I have rounds to make."

"I understand. See you around, I'm sorry I missed your name."

"Stacie."

"All right, I'll remember that. Until next time Stacie, I'm here more then I'd like."

She smiled, and we both left the room. I decided to go home. I knew that Davis wouldn't want to see me that night. I got home, unlocked the door, and realized I hadn't eaten in hours, and I didn't have anything in the house that was edible. I looked around at the mess of my apartment. There were half empty pizza boxes lying everywhere, and a few old Chinese take out boxes.

I'd really had to clean the place up. I hadn't even tied up since Emily was last over. I looked at the small place, and realized that I was missing something. Maybe it was just the day weighing on me, but actually felt lonely, like I never had before.

I cleared some of the boxes, but it didn't help much. My place was just depressing, and at that point so was my life. I had a kid I never saw. I could easily have a great girl, if only I'd be honest with her, and I was more interested in getting nurse's numbers when I was in the ER, while my partner was stuck in the hospital overnight. It was my fault he could have died, all because I was a stubborn ass who refused to wait five minutes for backup.

I went into my bedroom, which looked much better then the rest of the apartment. I laid down on my king sized water bed, and just stared up at the ceiling.

I rolled over to the side with the phone, and started dialing a number. Right before I hit the last digit, I hung up. I thought for a moment about the person who I was going to call. She was special, and she did deserve more from me, and so did her daughter, our daughter. I picked up the phone again, but this time wasn't even able to dial four digits. I slammed the phone down, then threw across the room.

"I don't need her!" I yelled at no one. "I don't need either of them, I'm just fine the way I am!"

Even though I usually would have gone to bed later then that I fell asleep. It had been a hard day and was hardly able to keep my eyes open. My dreams that night were nightmares. Some were about a grown up Angela telling me where to shove it. Others were about Emily with another man who played daddy to my little girl. Most of them, however, were about my partner, a good guy, who had a great thing going, stuck with me as a partner, and getting killed.

I woke up, and realized he was the one who was almost killed. Davis who was one of the best cops I had ever seen, who came from a line of great cops, and great people. I had met his parents, they were good people. But he the one that almost died, while this sorry ass was not only alive, but didn't have a scrape on him. I was a person who was not even thinking about picking up the pieces of his sorry life. I believed that only the good die young, and Davis' brush with death proved it.

The guy who should get the Prince Charming award nearly got a bullet through the neck. While the son of a bitch who couldn't even find the nads to see his own daughter didn't even get a bump. What a stupid fucked up world we live in, even without looking at the sorry state of politics, I knew it was one fucked up world we lived in. Where the good are hurt, while the not so good are the ones inflicting the pain.

I wasn't a cop to change that in the world. I became a cop cause someone told me that women liked a man in uniform. I would have been a firefighter if someone had told me sooner that women can't resist the ruggedly handsome firefighter. That's my life, I'm Dylan Mathews, currently winning the race for the biggest swine award. Maybe one day I'd crawl out the shit I liked to wallow in, and do something about it.

end

end notes: that turned out better then i had planned, i suck at writing action scenes that's why i copped out, sorry... next up Tyrone, tell me what 'ya think! 


	6. Tyrone

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Tyrone AUTHOR: trista groulx DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language (working very hard to keep the rating)  
SUMMARY: Saved the best for last? Tyrone tells his story, we all know Ty and Taylor turned out, what about this Tyrone and Alex?  
AUTHORS NOTES: this one picks up where we left off, tyrone waking up in a hosptial bed after being shot, hmm does this story line sound familar? how will this tyrone and alex work out, a nail biter, i tell you... i grew up watching soaps, and most of my fics end up with the cliche "hosptial scene" this one's very much updated from my early atempts, so i hope you like it! my muse seems to have found her voice once again, so i have the next part (alex again) done, i need some more reasearch for emily, half of kylie part two, and most of tyrone part two written, aren't i on a roll!

I woke up, it took me a while before I was completely aware of where I was. The last thing I remembered was following Dylan after going after the drug dealer. I remembered hearing a gunshot, so I knew I was either dead, or in the hospital. I looked around, and heard the noises, and knew I was in the hospital. Had I only imagined Alex telling me that everything was going to be all right?

I stared up at the ceiling, not able to think of anything else but her. She was the last person I had thought of before I blacked out. Had it really just been a very real dream that she was holding my hand after? She could not have been the person who had brought me in, could she?

I listened to the beeping, and saw the nurse peak in on me. I looked at her straight in the eyes, and she nearly dropped her clipboard.

"I'll get your doctor for you," she said, before disappearing.

I laid there only a few minutes longer before the doctor came in.

"Good morning mister Davis," he said.

"Is it really morning?"

"No, it's about ten o'clock at night."

I laughed. "Last time I was out it was daytime."

He nodded. "Do you even care about your injuries?"

"Should I be worried?"

"Not really, one bullet just missed your neck. There was some blood, and possibly some scaring, but nothing really to worry about. You're a very luck man. The second bullet got you in the arm, and did quiet a lot of damage. We had to operate to get the bullet out. You will have to wear a sling for a few weeks, and as soon as I feel you've healed enough you'll start physiotherapy, and you should get all the strength in your arm back."

"All right. So how long before I can work again?"

"At least three months."

"All right."

"You're currently in a recovery room, but we'll be moving you to a semi private room soon, and anyone who comes to visit will be directed up here."

I didn't respond, really feel the need to respond. The doctor left, and a few minutes later two nurses came in, and wheeled me down the hall to a different room. Again, I just laid there looking at the ceiling, think about her, the most amazing girl in the world, Alex Doherty. The nurse came back to check on me.

"Would you like me to turn on the television?" she asked me.

"It's all right, I'm just thinking," I replied.

"If there's anything I can do, just ask."

I thought for a moment. "Would you tell me who brought me in?"

She picked up my file. "The report was signed by an Emily Yokas."

"Shit!"

"Is there a problem?"

"Her partner is my girlfriend."

She replaced my file. "I'm sure that it was the one that signed the report that did the work."

"Yeah."

She left me alone again, with my thoughts. Was it possible that not only had I not dreamed Alex was telling me it was going to be fine, but she was actually the EMT who worked on me at the scene? I didn't even want to think about it, I could only imagine what she must have gone through when she realized that I was her patient. The nurse was probably right, Emily was probably the one who had worked on me.

I was a little surprised that no one, not even Dylan had come to see me. I started to doze off when I heard the door open and close.

"You're awake!" Alex exclaimed, making me wake up fully. "I was so worried about you." She was standing next to the bed, and kissed me lightly on the lips.

"I'm fine, it was just a bullet," I tried to make light of the situation. I took her hand, rubbing the inside by her palm.

"Just a bullet? So they were redesigned not to kill people?"

I shook my head. "All right, I understand. I'm fine, it's just part of the job."

She nodded. "I just needed to see for myself that you were all right."

"I understand."

"No, you don't, Tyrone! You didn't see yourself laying there, in a pool of blood. I thought it had hit you in the back of the head, and that's why you were down." She began to cry.

"I wear a bullet proof vest." Then it hit me, she had been the first medic to see me. "Oh, Alex, you –" I didn't even have to finish the sentence, we both knew that the other knew she had been the person who had worked on me at the scene.

"Yeah, you were just lying there, and I had to treat you just like anyone else."

I looked up at her. "I'm sorry."

"It's your job. I just wasn't ready to see you hurt."

"If it makes you fell any better, I won't be working for a while."

"I guess that helps."

"If I could have dodged the bullet, I would have done it for you."

She smiled. "Stop that."

"It's true, and don't you go thinking that this worry thing isn't a two way street."

"It's totally different, the chances of me getting hit by a bullet are a lot less then yours. The chances of you seeing me right after I was injured are far less."

"You're right." I needed to lighten the mood a little bit "So you came all the way up here just for me?"

It worked, she couldn't help but chuckle. "My job brings me here more then most people could imagine. I've been checking in on you between runs, making sure that everything really was fine. All my training said you were-"

Just then the door opened again, what bad timing. My father had just walked in, how awkward was this? I was in the middle of a moment with my girl and my old man walks in. She let go of my hand, and looked up at him.

"Hi," he said. "Am interrupting anything?"

"No," I replied. "Just chatting with the beautiful medic who saved my life."

She was blushing, she shook her head. She then hit me playfully. "Is that who I am?" My father looked puzzled, not getting our little joke, especially when I took her hand.

"Of course you're not!" I kissed her hand lightly. "Dad, I want you to meet my girl, Alex Doherty. Alex, I'd like you to meet my dad, Tyrone Davis Junior."

"It's nice to finally put a face to a name. I was hoping it would be under better circumstances," he replied.

She smiled. "Nice to meet you, Mister Davis," she said, taking her hand from mine, and out for a hand shake.

"Please call me, Ty." He hugged her.

She pulled away, politely, turning a darker shade of red "I should get back to the house to get my paper work done. I'll see you when I'm done, all right?"

"Sounds good," I replied, as she went to leave. "I don't get some sugar for taking a bullet?"

She laughed, she had taken a few steps toward the door. She came back, and leaned in to kiss me. I knew she had been aiming for my cheek, but I moved so that she had to give me an, admittedly awkward, kiss on the lips. Her face was more red then I had ever seen

"Be good, I heard what all the nurses whispering about you."

"Nurses have nothing on medics, love you."

She got even more red, it was possible. "Love 'ya!"

I'm surprised she didn't walk into the door she looked so disoriented. I didn't mean to put her on the spot like that. I heard the door shut, leaving me alone with my father.

Although we had been dating for almost three months I had failed to mention that Alex was a white girl. He didn't seem overly upset with it though, I was very relieved. I wondered what he thought when he walked into the room. Seeing us hand in hand, her in her uniform.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"The drugs they have here keep the pain down to a dull roar, but it's going to be a while before I can work," I replied.

"I'm starting to know how my mother felt having her son as a cop."

"I didn't mean to make everyone worry."

"I know, it's just part of the job. It's just really hard to know that you could be hurt every single day."

"I guess so."

"Where's Mom?" Pretty much knowing the answer, my mother will not set foot in a hospital, unless you've got one foot in death's door.

"You know how she feels about hospitals. She said that I could come see you, and make sure you're doing all right."

"Report back, that's it's not a big deal."

He nodded. "Always."

We always down played our injuries when my mother was involved. It had had started when I was about fifteen, and my dad had gotten hit. I knew she hated hospitals, so I offered to go see if Dad was all right. When I got there he told me that he was hurting, but to tell my mother that everything was fine, and not to worry. That was all she wanted to hear, she didn't need nor want all the details. Since then that's what we always said to the other. I was just glad we never had to report back anything worse.

"So that was Alex?" he asked.

"Yeah," I couldn't stop the stupid grin from crossing my face. .

"She's cute. You never mentioned how serious you were."

I blushed. "She's special. She was the medic that brought me in, it was kind of a kick in the ass about how real this is."

"She worked on you at the scene?"

"Yeah," I needed to change the subject. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you she was a white girl."

"It's all right." He paused for a minute, thinking about something. "You're more of a man then me."

I had not been expecting that. "Why would you say that?"

"I went out with a white girl named Alex, back when Moby Dick was a minnow. I was shot on duty while I was dating her, just like you. She was in the room with me when my mother came in, I introduced her as one of the guys. I didn't even have the balls to introduce her to my mother, and tell the truth. We just stopped talking after that. She was killed in an explosion a while later, and I never did go right and tell my mother the truth as to why I felt the need to go to her funeral." He looked away, I could tell it had brought up some hard memories for him.

"You never told me that."

"She's never really come up in conversation before. Strange how sometimes the past almost seems to repeat itself." 

"Here's hoping my Alex works out better then yours." I laughed.

"She looks really familiar for some reason."

I shrugged. "Maybe you knew her mother, from pictures I've seen they look almost identical."

"How would I know her mother?"

"She was a medic at the firehouse back when you were working at the station. Her name was Kim Doherty." I thought a moment. "That's her married name."

He nodded. "Zambrano, when I knew her. She must have married Jimmy. Those are some names I haven't thought of in a long while."

I laughed. "It really is a small world."

"Now that you say the name I really see it. The resemblance is uncanny."

"I've only seen pictures, but they are really alike. I actually thought that a picture of her parents was her and an ex."

He laughed. "Kim and Alex were good friends, I wonder if that's where the name came from."

"I don't know."

"Maybe I can ask her myself."

"Maybe."

"You realize that when you're feeling better your mother is going to want to have her over for supper right? She's already going to be mad enough I met her first."

"I know, I'll have to ask her when she comes back."

The door opened and closed again. I looked up to see someone who could easily have passed for a mall Santa, I knew right away it was my godfather.

"Uncle Sully, what are you doing here?" I asked.

He chuckled. "It's not okay to make sure the closest thing I have to a son is okay after he gets shot?"

"I'm fine, really. Do you think I'd let a something as silly bullet stop me?"

"I would hope not. You've still a got a lot living to do!."

"Especially with a certain paramedic," Dad chimed in.

"You're sweet for one of the medics?" Uncle Sully asked.

"Her name is Alex, and we've been dating about three months. She was in here when Dad came in."

"Your Dad proved that the whole cop and medic thing doesn't always work out. Add the fact that her name is Alex, and fate's working against you kid" He chuckled.

"She kicked me to the curb when I didn't introduce her to my mother, Sul." Dad reminded his friend. "But he actually introduced me, so there must be something there."

Uncle Sully laughed. "Must be love. What's she look like?"

"Remember Kim Zambrano?"

"The medic from when we worked together?"

"Yeah, she looks like her, a dead ringer. Alex is her daughter."

"Good job Tyrone!"

I shook my head. "Does this mean you want to meet her too?"

"Of course I want to meet her."

Dad must have known I was uncomfortable with what was going on. "What happened anyway?" he asked.

"We were just watching a house, where we were going to do a raid. Dylan saw someone leaving, and he took off after them. I'm not really sure why but I followed him, I heard a gunshot, next thing I remember I'm here," I explained.

"That kid is an idiot," Uncle Sully muttered.

"When he actually listens he's not such a bad guy to work with."

"You can't say you never did anything stupid in your day, Sul." Dad reminded him.

"I know, but that kid has been through more then his share of stupid things."

"He just needs to grow up a little more. He didn't force me to follow him, so you can't really blame him for me getting shot. I'm sure though, that he's been blamed for ruining the operation though." They both agreed, and we talked for a while longer. I always liked it when Dad and Uncle Sully got together, I always heard a couple of good stories about when they worked together. They were arguing about something, when I heard the door open again. I looked up and saw Alex, I smiled at her.

"Hi," she said, looking uncomfortable. "Should I come back later?"

"No," I assured her. "You met my dad, and the other guy is my godfather."

"John Sullivan," he said, putting out his hand. "Everyone calls me Sully."

"Nice to meet you, Sully," she said, shyly.

An awkward silence began to over take the room, I decided to get them talking, somehow. "Alex is trying to find out more about her mother, you guys have anything to add?"

"You both knew her?" she asked.

"Yeah," Dad replied. "She was a good paramedic. I didn't know her that well, but I do know she was friends with Alex Taylor, is that who you're named after?"

Her eyes light up. "Yes! You knew her?"

He nodded, Uncle Sully added, "they used to date."

"What was she like?"

Dad thought for a moment. "She was one of the strongest, and bravest people I've ever met in my life." They talked for a while longer, I knew she was thrilled that she had finally found someone who had really known her namesake. I was starting get tired, and the only person I really wanted to see was her.

"Look, all these drugs are making me tired, mind giving me some space?"

"No problem," they all said.

They all went to leave. I took Alex's hand. "Not you," I whispered.

The two men left, leaving me with the girl I loved. I knew then more then ever that I was really in love with her. We said it a lot, but after what had happened I knew that I wasn't just paying lip service. She was really special, and I wanted to keep her in my life.

"Hey," I said, glad to be alone with her.

"Hey, yourself." She leaned down and kissed me, carefully. "How are you feeling?"

"Getting better, they say I should be able to go home tomorrow, but I'll have to take a couple of weeks off." I kissed her again but, she refused to deepen the kiss.

"I was so worried, about you earlier today."

"If I could have dodged it to make you not feel this pain, I would have."

She began to tear up. "I know, it's just. I really thought you were dead. All my training said you'd be just fine, but I was so worried about you."

"That's love, Alex."

"I know."

"Can you move that bar?"

"Yeah." She fidgeted with the safety bar, and got it down.

"Sit down?" I asked.

She sat down next to me, and I sat up. It was hard to pull myself up using one arm, but I managed to do it. She leaned over, and we kissed again. This time more deeply. My good hand was playing with the hair on her forehead. She pulled away a few minutes later.

"What a day," she sighed.

"I know the feeling," I laughed. "So now that you know you must love me after what you had to go through today." She smiled. "I can't believe I was able to do it."

"Maybe you're more like your mother and namesake then you think." She nodded, and leaned in to kiss me again. "I should probably warn you that my mother will want to meet you. She likes to cook so she'll be inviting us to supper."

"Okay."

"I'll meet your family one day, I promise. When are you off?"

She nodded. "My day off is this Thursday coming. I work that weekend, but I'm off weekend after."

I nodded.. "I'll be off then, I'm sure, I'll see what my parents say." She had laid her head on my shoulder. "I'm so sorry you had to see me like that."

"It wasn't your fault."

I kissed her head. "You were the last person I thought about before I went down. I was worried about how you'd react if, I –" "Don't say it."

"And you were the first person I thought about when I woke up. I love you so much, I wish I could make it so that I'd never hurt you." I could tell she was getting tired.

"But, getting hurt is just one of the perks of our jobs."

"I wouldn't call it a perk. It's just part and parcel of it." Her eyes were getting heavy. "How about you lay down with me?"

I moved over, and soon we were spooned together in the small hospital bed. I began to run my hand through her hair "I just wish I could make it so that we would never have to see each other in danger," I said, a little sleepy, myself. "I love you so much –"

"Love you too."

I took her hand, she moved her hand so our interlocked hands were around her stomach.

"I never thought I'd feel like this about anyone, but I'm glad I do. You were the reason I fought, and why I'll continue to fight through this damn recovery."

I could tell by her breathing, she was either asleep on nearly there, I caressed her hand a little, and she just sighed sleepily. All the drugs were really starting to kick in, and I knew it wouldn't be long before we were both sleeping.

"One day, I'm gonna marry you Alex Doherty," I whispered, before I feel asleep. I wasn't sure but I thought I felt her hand squeeze mine tighter.

My parents decided that it would be better for them to meet Alex on the Saturday of her weekend off. I knew she was really nervous, even as we just lounged around her apartment that afternoon. I had hardly been at my own place since the accident, and it really seemed to be working for us both.

I was off work until my arm was fully recovered. I had lost some strength in it, and was going to be starting physiotherapy as soon as the doctor approved it being out of the sling for an extended amount of time. I was lucky that one of bullets narrowly missed my neck. I had just come out of the bathroom, and Alex was sitting on the couch. I sat on her legs, and she started giggling.

"You're stuck now," I told her. "You're not gonna wrestle an injured guy are you?"

Instead of a response I felt the lightest kiss on the back of my neck. I shuddered at the sensation.

"You're going to have a permanent scar," she informed me.

I stood up and sat down next to her, taking her hand. "It's part of the job."

"I know, I just haven't looked at it since-" She stopped.

"Yeah."

I kissed her lightly. "Let's try to keep positive."

We tried to talk about that day as little as possible. It still amazed me that she had been able to keep her cool all the way through the ordeal. Everyone on the scene said that they would never known that she had had any personal going on while she was working on me. I knew that I would never be to do anything like. If I was ever called to somewhere where she had been hurt, I knew I'd fall apart.

She was tougher then a lot of guys I knew, and I was glad she was. She snuggled up next to me.

"You nervous about tonight?" I asked.

"Yeah," she replied.

"I'd probably die if I had to meet your dad."

"It would be my brother you'd really have to worry about."

I laughed. "You really don't have much to worry about. My dad really liked you."

"We hardly said anything to each other."

"I know, but he did like you. After all, you did save his son's life."

She shook her head. "I'm sure I'm not the first medic who's worked on you, and I'm certain I won't be the last." I kissed her lightly. "You're right. But you're the only one who stole my heart."

She laughed. "Always the charmer."

I smiled at her. "Have you noticed I've been spending a lot of time here since I've been hurt?"

"Yeah, I thought you liked my company."

I laughed. "You know I do."

"So what's your point?"

"Wouldn't it make more sense to just pay one rent every month?"

She looked at me, shocked. "Are you asking…?"

"Yes, it's been a few weeks since I've been to my own place. If I haven't gotten on your nerves yet I probably won't."

She shrugged. "It would be nice having help paying the rent."

"So, you want to live together?"

She kissed me. "Absolutely!"

A lot of logistics would have to be sorted out, but I knew that I would not regret the decision. We curled up on the couch, and watched a movie to kill time before we had to be at my parents. We left just after the movie started, and I could tell that was getting more and more nervous as we got closer.

"She's going to like you," I assured her.

She nodded. "You keep telling that, but I'm still going to be nervous until I know for sure."

We pulled up to the house, and got out of the car. I took her hand as we walked up the pathway. I got to the doorstep, and rang the doorbell. My dad was the one who answered the door. I could smell something good cooking, probably a roast.

"Nice to see you again, Alex," my dad said, as we walked in.

"You too," she smiled.

"How are you, Tyrone?"

"I'm great, the doctor says I'm healing well."

"Good, your mother is in the kitchen."

I took Alex's hand, and we went into the kitchen. It smelled really good in there. I could tell Alex was really nervous. Mom was stirring something on the stove.

"Mom?" I asked, she turned around. "Meet Alex Doherty, Alex meet my mom, Tonia Davis."

"Nice to meet you," Alex said, shaking her hand.

"Nice to finally meet you."

She smiled. "It smells so good in here, I miss home cooked meals."

"It's a lost art. Where do your parents live?"

"Boston, but my dad doesn't cook very well."

She laughed. "Where's your mother?"

I was a little angry at my mother for asking. "Mom!" I exclaimed.

"It's all right, Tyrone," Alex assured me. "My mother died when I was twelve."

My mom looked embarrassed. "Sorry."

"I'm a big girl, I've made my peace with what happened."

My dad appeared in the doorway. "How about we go into the living room till super's ready?" he suggested.

"I'll stay here, if you need help Mrs. Davis."

My mother laughed. "Mrs. Davis is my mother in law! Call my Tonia, and you're welcome to keep me company." I went into the living room with my dad. We shared work stories, as we often did when got to spend time together. Before we knew it supper had been served. After we all finished eating, we just sat at the table and talked.

"So what's new?" my mother asked me.

I shrugged. "Alex and I decided we were going to move in together today."

"What made you decide that?"

"I've pretty much been a permanent fixture there since the accident, so I figured it would be a lot easier to just pay one rent. I'm not in a lease right now, so it works out well."

She nodded. "That makes sense then."

Alex smiled. "I won't let him get into too much trouble."

My mom laughed. "I'm sure."

"She did save my life once, after all," I reminded my mother.

Alex blushed. "I was just doing my job."

"Ty mentioned you were a paramedic. You were there when he was hurt?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I guess I could have asked my partner to do it, but, I guess I didn't realize till after it was all said and done what had really happened. I mean when I got there he was just like anyone else who was shot, I just did what I had to do to get him to the hospital."

"I could never do that."

"It's not for everyone."

"What made you become a paramedic?" she queried.

"My mother was a paramedic before I was born, my dad was a firefighter. I always wanted to be a paramedic like my mother."

"Her parents worked at the same firehouse she now works at," I added.

"Ty did you know them?" my mother asked.

"Yeah, I did. Her mother was great at what she did. I would guess it runs in the family." Alex laughed, and I decided to change the subject. Everything had gone well, and I was glad that both my parents liked her. She seemed to have liked my mother enough, which was good, cause she could be difficult to get along with sometimes. I was her only child, and sometimes she got very protective when I brought someone by.

Though I think most of her reservations were because she knew my dad's history as a bit of player in his younger days. I had no intention on doing that, it just seemed a little cliché to me. I was very content to be moving in with one my first really serious girlfriends. Who would have thought that Tyrone Davis the third might want to settle down so young, but that seemed to be where I was heading.

end end notes: can you say "fluff" say it with me now kids "fl-uff" it seems that trista is back at long last, my muse is making up for lost time, but she's not so keen on the editing thing... next we go back thru the ranks, however in slightly different order (carter and dylan will do a switch-a-roo you'll see why) next up we have alex's POV on tyrone metting her father and brother, stay tuned... reviews get you updates faster... hehe 


	7. Alex 2

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Alex 2  
AUTHOR: trista groulx  
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them  
RATING: PG-13 for language (oh muse stop trying to go "r" you bad girl)  
SUMMARY: Alex here again, to tell you about when my father and brother met Tyrone, but some stuff about my mother ended up taking centre stage.  
AUTHORS NOTES: i've decided to make these second parts a tad longer, with three sub parts instead of two, i know at least for alex, emily, dylan and tyrone, i had some issues on kylie and cater's first parts so i'm hoping i can do them justice the second time around... anyway all right be ready for lotsa plot twists... like holy plot twists batman and muse slow down i need to catch up here! jimmy and joey come to NY for a visit, no coping out here folks, some great joey alex bonding, some old school (season 1-3 and half) jimmy skeletons, and even the bobby skelton falling out of the doherty closest, many more skeltons falling we'd have a body count like the end of "hamlet" on our hands here folks! read to find out what my muse gave me this time around... 

I could hardly believe that I had been in New York for over six months. I was curled up on the couch with a cup of coffee, waiting for my father and brother to come. They were expected any time. It was going to be their first visit since I had moved. Partly to see where I was living, but more to meet my new boyfriend. Tyrone, who had moved in with me a few months earlier.

When I had woken up that morning, all I had wanted was to have a lazy day. But I couldn't do that, I spent part of my day cleaning, and the rest of the day worrying about what would happen when they all met.

Tyrone was supposed to have had the day off too, but he had messed up on the dates, and got four days off, but was one day off. I knew that it would be very awkward to come in a couple of hours into the visit, but that was how it was going to have to be.

I was more worried about my little brother. He had always been a little over protective of me. I knew that he was not big on the idea of me living with a guy. Especially one who he didn't know a thing about. I told him to just trust me, but I knew he wouldn't until he scoped him out for himself, and did a thorough inspection.

I had to make super before they got there, but since they were driving I didn't know when exactly they'd arrive. I didn't want to put something on too early, then have it be overcooked. I was glad that I was going to be able to spend a couple of days with them, I had gone back to visit them once, but I missed them a lot. It had been hard getting adjusted, but I was glad I had moved. I had learned a lot of the stuff I had wanted to while I was in New York. Not only about my parents and namesake, but also about myself.

I didn't know why I had worked so hard to get the place clean wasn't like they cared that much. I guess I was really doing it to busy myself, so I wouldn't worry about what they'd think of him.

When I had told my dad that he was going to be moving in he was less then impressed with the plan. I guess I'll always be Daddy's little girl, since he never seemed to accept the fact that I was growing up. But he warmed to the idea little when he realized I'd have a cop around to protect me all the time. I knew he'd be all right with the idea once he met Tyrone.

I decided to put the casserole I had made earlier into the oven. It was just pasta, meat, and cheese, nothing fancy, but it was pretty hard to screw it up when you're not sure when you were expecting people. I decided to curl up with a book, until they arrived. I didn't much like TV, and thought that reading was better use of my time. I was just getting to an exciting part in my book when I heard the buzz of someone at the door. I went to the phone, to see who was there. Sure enough it was them, and I let them up.

I wondered if I had reminded them that I had a walk up? Only moments later I hard a knock at the door. I let them in, they each had a duffle bag of stuff. I directed them both to the bedroom to put it in for the time being.

"It's small," Joey commented.

"This is New York, there's small, smaller, smallest, and over priced," I laughed.

"It's a lot nicer then I thought it would be," Dad said.

"Yeah, I'm glad I didn't drive right by it. I was going to, but I was desperate. It's so run down on the outside, but the whole inside is fairly new."

Dad had picked up a photo frame off a side table. It was of a group of us from one of our last drink nights. Tyrone and I were off to one side, his arm around my waist, there were a couple of pictures that someone had taken where we were kissing while everyone was figuring out how to pose. I didn't think that was picture I'd want to have framed in my living room. Emily was next to me, yelling at the guy taking the picture, and the rest of the gang were just doing stupid poses.

"Who is everyone?" he asked.

"Well, the guy next to me is Tyrone," I laughed. "On the other side is Emily Yokas, next to her is Kylie," I had to think for a moment. "Kenny, then Carter Nieto, and Dylan Mathews."

Joey took the picture. "Which one is your partner?"

"Emily," I answered. "With the curly hair."

"All right, she single?"

I shook my head. "She has a kid."

"Can't blame a guy for asking."

"It scares me that two of Nieto's kids are protecting New York."

I laughed. "Only half of the genes are his. I like Carter, he's a fun guy to work with."

"Does he have better luck with women?"

I smiled. "Carter's gay, Dad."

My father started roaring with laughter, I was surprised he wasn't on the floor laughing. "His son is gay?" he began laughing again.

"Wow if the fates had been fair, your son would have been gay mister sensitivity." I muttered.

"Hey! I resent that remark!" Joey exclaimed.

We all went into the kitchen. They sat on opposite sides of the small table, as I took the dish out of the oven. I served most of it, leaving some for Tyrone when he got in. We all say down and ate in relative silence. I cleared the plates, and they went back into the living room.

I popped in, asking "Does anyone want coffee?"

"That would be great," Dad said.

"I'll have one too," Joey agreed.

I went back into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. It had already been a long day, and it hadn't even really started yet. Not only was I up earlier then normal because I was nervous, I'd be up late because I knew that Dad would have a million questions for Tyrone as soon as he came through the door.

The coffee finished, I poured three cups, and prepared them the way everyone liked. I came out with Dad and Joey's then went back into the living room with my own. Dad was on the love seat, and Joey was on the couch. I decided to sit on the recliner. All of us enjoying our coffee, but unsure what to say.

I was so nervous about them meeting him, and I knew that there would be tension until he came in. I was worried that they would not like him at all. At least when I had met his father it had caught us all off guard. By the time I had to meet his mother he had already sugar coated me to her. It had also helped they then both thought I had saved his life, even though I was really just doing my job.

It would only be a matter of time before he came home from work. It would be the moment of truth, and logically I knew it would go smoothly. I also knew, however, that they would pounce on him as soon as he walked through the door, and I had given him fair warning.

I had asked them to at least let him through the door, before grilling him. But I wasn't sure if they were going to do it. The door opened, and I was glad to learn that they did let him get through the door before starting. He took off his shoes, and came to where they were sitting. They had both stood up.

"Hi," said Tyrone, shaking each other their hands. "I'm Tyrone, you must be Alex's father, Jimmy, and brother, Joey."

"Yeah," Joey said.

"You look so much like your father, just with longer hair," Dad commented.

"I don't get that as often as you'd think," he laughed. "Certainly not as much as Alex hears it. Every time she meets someone know knew her mother they tell her she looks exactly like her."

I was glad that things seemed to be going all right. "Do you want some coffee?" I asked him.

"I'll get it myself when I'm ready," he assured me.

Dad and Joey had moved to sit on the sofa together. He sat down on the loveseat, and I moved to sit next to him. I could tell he was still nervous, but he seemed a lot more calm then when he walked in the room. I took his hand and caressing it lightly, to calm him further. No one seemed to know what to say, and silence was getting more then awkward.

"How's work going, Joey?" I asked my brother.

"Good, it never really changes though," he chuckled. "How about you?"

"Great," I replied. "I'm thinking about taking the firefighter's exam." All right, so it wasn't the best time to drop the bomb, but it got them all talking.

"What?" all three asked me.

I had decided to try my hand because of the way everyone was praising me for working on Tyrone, and few other cases where I had been told I had been especially brave, I decided that I'd see what happened, then if I could get through a fire simulator I'd be fine. It was being away that made me think I might be able to handle it.

"Yeah, I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I don't know if could actually do the job, but I want to see if I can pass all the tests, and maybe try it. I know it's going to be a lot of work, but it could be interesting."

"Alex, it's dangerous," Dad tried to reason, not that his argument held much punch, coming from an ex-fireman.

"How long did you do it for, and you're still here. Besides you were fine when Joey was gonna do it," I reminded him. "You supported him. Even if I got through everything I'm not sure that I'd take a job on a squad. I just want to see if I could pass everything, you know? I just want to challenge myself. I've just been thinking a lot about it, and I really just want to see if I could."

"Alex, I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it."

"Daddy!" I heard myself whine. "I'm not a little kid anymore, I'm not gonna not do it just because you told me not to!"

"Are you sure about this?" Tyrone asked me.

"Yes, I want a bit of a change, and a challenge. I just want to know if I could actually do it. Everyone tells me I'm so much like Mom, and she wanted to try it so, I want to try for her."

"Where did you get that idea from?" Dad asked.

"About mom?" He nodded. "I know she told me a few times. When I moved I came across an old box of mine, that she had given me. In it I found some stuff she had written. Letters, I guess not really meant for anyone. One of the notes she wrote while she was pregnant, she wrote about she had always wanted to be a little more like Alex, Taylor. She always admired her for actually going for her dream, and not letting anything get in her way. She said the only thing that stopped her was Joey, and then I stopped her from even being a paramedic!" I thought I was going to start to cry. "Daddy I just want to show her that it can be done, I want to do what she was never able to do."

Joey was silent, I knew that he was angry with me for wanting to do something Dad had always expected of him. We both supported him in what he did, and he had gone to law school for all the right reasons. Dad, was, of course hurt by his decision but supported him all the same. He had always assumed that Joey would walk in his footsteps, and was let down when Joey didn't end up doing it. In the end though he was just as proud to introduce his son, the lawyer.

Joey always thought that I was the favourite. He also thought that Dad hated him for choosing law school over firefighting. Neither was true, but Joey believe it was. He never told Dad how he felt, but he had told me more then once. I knew that he would be angry at me for trying out, just because he felt that it would make the all out favourite. I knew that just wasn't the case, but I couldn't convince him otherwise, and till he actually talked to Dad he'd never know.

"I can't stop you from doing it," Dad said. "Just make sure that's what you really want before you make your choice. What else did you find in there?"

"Just stuff about her deciding she was going to quit, marry you. Stuff like that, mostly stuff from when she was pregnant, and a little bit before that. Nothing I didn't already kind of know about."

I wondered if there was something in specific he was looking for. If he asked me I'd let him look through the whole box. I wanted to keep the stuff though, she had obviously given me the box cause wanted me to have it. Whenever I picked them up I felt like she was right there with me. I wasn't going to let them go.

It had been a long day and before long I excused myself to go to bed. I left pillows and blankets out, and they both knew they were going to be on the couches. When I crawled into bed I fell asleep only moments later. I woke up at some point in the middle of the night, to my brother poking me.

"Alex?" he whispered.

"What?" I asked.

"I need to talk to you."

Why did he have to pick that night to want to go for one of our late night coffee runs? I also felt a little uncomfortable having him coming into my room, when my boyfriend was there. I lived with him and all, but it was just strange having my big brother wake me up when I was happily snuggled into my man's arms.

I got out of bed, and led him into the kitchen so not to wake anyone. I was half asleep, and I was suddenly reminded of being back in Boston, living at home. He would often wake up, and we'd go for coffee in the middle of the night, in our pajamas.

"What's up big brother?" I asked, not that I didn't know what he wanted to do.

"Is there a twenty four hour coffee shop near here?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Mind if we go?"

I couldn't resist, I had missed that. "I'll just leave a note, in case one of them wakes up."

"Good idea."

I scribbled a quick note, we put on our shoes with no socks, and put light coats over our tops, and walked down the street about a block, to a little coffee shop. We each ordered tea, so not to keep us up the rest of the night, and went to sit down. We had done this all the time in Boston, when would both be living, or staying at Dad's.

As soon as Joey got his driver's license we had started it. Back then he would get himself a coffee, which would keep him up half that night, and he'd buy me a hot chocolate, and tell me that it was kid's coffee. After doing that with my brother, New York finally felt like home to me.

"What's this about?" I asked

"About you being a firefighter."

"Don't be mad at me Joey, please," I begged my brother.

"How can I NOT be mad, Alex. You've always been the favourite! If you do this then I've failed completely!" He was trying to keep his voice down.

"That's not true! Dad's very proud of you."

"He's more proud of you."

I wanted to yell, but I had to keep my voice down so not to attract unwanted attention. "You don't know that. Besides, you're his son, he has to like you better."

"Whatever."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Don't act like you don't know." I looked at him puzzled. "Alex! He always liked you better, from the second you were born you were his world!"

"You're a part of that world too."

He actually looked like he was going to cry. "Not until I was seven!"

"What does that mean?"

"Just as it says Alex, you got Dad your whole life! I only got him after-"

"After what, Joey?"

He stared into his cup, forcing the tears in his eyes not to escape. "Mom didn't write anything about when she was little younger in those letters you have?"

I shook my head. "I didn't see anything, just a log of your firsts before mine. A few things about when Dad was a jerk. But it was mostly from after he got a clue And there wasn't anything about Dad and you interacting, or I guess, not doing so." He looked puzzled "Do you know anything about Mom's friend Bobby?"

I was very confused. "No."

"Bobby was her partner when I was a kid. I remember him really well, he was great to me. Better then Dad sometimes, even. Dad just wanted to be my friend, he'd give me chocolate, and stuff I wasn't allowed. I hardly saw him, and when I did he'd spoil me rotten and I'd end up sick. Bobby was different though, he really seemed to care about me, and about Mom. I wanted Bobby to my dad! I may have been little but I knew that Dad hurt Mom back then, in a very different way from the way he hurt me."

I took his hand, and squeezed it, to show him I cared. "There's stuff in there about forgiving Dad about stuff that she didn't really go into. A lot of stuff about how much he had changed, but not really about how he was before. I defiantly haven't come across anything about any other guy but Dad."

Tears began to fall down his face. "You have no idea what he did to us Alex, by the time you came around he had changed. They both did."

"I know that Joey, but who is this Bobby person? Why haven't I ever heard of him?"

"He died, Alex, I'm not really sure exactly what lead up to Bobby being shot, and dieing. I do know that Mom was there when it happened.."

"Really?" I whispered, I too, began to cry.

"Yeah, I remember Mom being really different after it happened. I think she was depressed. Like big "D" depressed, not just moping around the house. She was really different then, she'd forget about me and stuff."

"And stuff, what stuff?" I wanted to know. "Why didn't she ever talk about him?"

"I think he was kind of a taboo subject between Mom and Dad."

I was confused. "But why?"

"Bobby and Mom were more then just friends. Everyone knew that, but neither of them did anything to change that."

"She always told me that Dad was the only person she ever loved."

"Even at my age, I could tell they loved each other."

"Joey, what else happened, you said and stuff, what stuff?" I asked again.

"Alex, after he died." He took a long pause. "Alex, Mom tried to kill herself once."

"You have to be wrong." I whispered, in disbelief.

"Alex," he looked straight into my eyes. "I saw her in the bathtub, after she took some pills, and some wine. I didn't know then what I meant, but I know now."

"But why?" I asked pathetically, like I was a child again.

"It may have been because Bobby died, I'm not really sure. All I know is that I saw her that the bathtub, I try to forget it, and I see it in my nightmares. I don't remember all the details, really. I think she was fine after that, once she realized what she had almost lost, but she did try to kill herself."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "What does that have to do with Dad?"

"It was after that, that Dad started to really pay attention to me! I guess he felt guilty that the only person who had been a real father figure to me had died, and that I had to see Mom like that. I had just lost my second father, and had almost lost my mother too. He realized that he didn't have the first clue about me then. He didn't care in about me until then. But you got his attention from the day you were born!"

"It just took him a while before showing you-"

"NO!" he thundered, the few people in the restaurant turned to look at us, he went quiet for a long while. "Dad wanted me to hurt Mom! He didn't want custody of me because he wanted me, he wanted it to prove a point. He told me after she died, that he regretted what he had done, as soon as the ruling was finalized. He realized after that the only person she had left was me, and that's why he wanted to take me away."

"Why?" I asked. "I don't get it."

"He took me because he knew what taking me away from her would do. It would destroy her, completely, or it would bring her back to him. Either way, he'd get what he wanted."

I couldn't believe it, but my brother had no reason to lie. "I don't understand Joey."

"Dad wasn't grown up then, he wanted the two things he thought was his, and if he had to use one to get it then he did. Mom was smarter then, she didn't fall into his trap. I knew it hurt her to not have me living with her anymore, but she didn't have the money to fight the decision. It was in taking care of me that Dad finally grew up; but at first I was just a pawn, in a sick game, and you're what made their lives perfect!"

I was trying my hardest not to bawl my eyes out.. "Joey, you have to be wrong!"

"I'm not, Alex. Dad wasn't really grown up when I came along, but he was when you came along. The Dad you know is real, and it's who he is now. He worked hard to be that person. I had to see both sides of him, and sometimes I think he resents me for it."

"That can't be true. He probably loves you more for still loving him after all you had to see." I tried to be positive.

"Alex, you made the family, I was just a mistake."

"That's not true, and you know it."

"If it hadn't been for me, Mom would never have had to see Dad again, and she would have lived happily ever after with Bobby."

"You don't know that. If you think about it you saved Dad. It was in taking care of you full time that he grew up, and was able to be right for Mom. If Bobby had died and Mom had had nothing, then she would have died taking her own life. No one would have found her."

He shook his head. "I can't believe I just told you that."

"It needed to be let out, Joey."

He came around to my side of the table, and hugged me. "I never wanted you to know that side of Dad."

"Mom told me about it, not that extreme, but I was aware that Dad used to be a first class ass."

"Try not to let it change how you look at him."

I nodded. "I've never seen him be like that, so I have to believe that's it real. It's kind of like reading a story, and it was just a bad guy who had control over him for a while."

We finished up our drinks, and went back to my place. Joey went right to sleep. I got a nightlight out of the bathroom, and plugged it in near my closest. I had to look through the stuff I had from Mom to see if I could find anything. I took the nightlight out of the hallway, and plugged it in near my closet, so not to disturb Tyrone. I then took out the box, and emptied the box onto the floor.

I found something! I picked up an envelope I had never wanted to open before. It wasn't addressed to anyone, but it was sealed. I opened it carefully. I was a little nervous about what I'd find. I realized, then, why Dad had been worried about what was in the box because she had tried to kill herself. He didn't want me to find out from some letters she had left me, possibly inadvertently.

I was glad Joey had told me the truth, rather then me finding out in a note. In the envelope were four pieces of paper. One had Dad's name, on had Joey's, one had Grandma's, and the other wasn't addressed to anyone.

I looked at that one not addressed to anyone first. It simply read: "If you are reading this, it means I'm dead, I killed myself, I just couldn't deal with life anymore, please make sure that these letters get to who needs to read them."

I picked up the one for Grandma, which was an apology to her, for having to deal with not just Joey, but Dad too, now without her. It also explained that Bobby had once told her that he was in love with him, and she had brushed it off, telling him that she didn't deserve him. But when he was shot she realized that she loved him back. She had hoped to tell him when he recovered, but he never did. She asked her to make sure that Joey understood that she loved him, and mostly she just apologized over and over again.

Next I decided to read the one that was for Joey. It read: "I know you don't understand any of this, Baby. First Bobby goes away, and now I'm gone too. Your Daddy and Grandma will answer all the questions you have. They're also going to take good care of you now. I know it doesn't make any sense, but when you grow up, maybe you will be able to understand. It didn't do this because of you, I love you more then anything else in this world. But sometimes love isn't enough sometimes.. I never wanted to hurt you, and I'm so sorry you have to live through this. I will always love you Joey, never forget that. Once you're old enough Daddy will explain everything to you. Love Mommy."

I began to cry, which woke up Tyrone. He sat up in the bed, and looked over at me, squinting a little because of the light.

"Alex?" he asked concerned. "What are you doing?"

"I found something in my Mom's box," I whispered.

He got out of the bed, he sat down next to me, taking me in his arms. He had sat cross-legged, and had pulled me onto him. I buried my head in his chest I started to cry harder. He picked up the piece of paper not addressed to anyone. If it was possible, he held me tighter, smoothing my hair back, behind my ear, the way I liked when I had trouble sleeping.

"When did that happen?" he asked.

"A few years before I was born. Joey and I went for coffee, to talk about me taking the exam, and one thing lead to another. He told me everything, and now I find this," I explained, my voice barely there.

"Alex, it'll be all right, you can talk to your father about everything in the morning." He kissed my temple.

"Thank you Tyrone. I love you."

"I love you back." He simply held me until my tears slowed.

I decided not to read the one addressed to Dad, that was one of the few things in the box that was really his. I must have fallen asleep, I vaguely remember him carrying me to the bed, and tucking me in under the covers.

When I got up the next morning, not only was I surprised that I had actually been able to sleep. But I was surprised to see that Tyrone has cleaned up the papers. Everything was back in the box, accept the four pieces of paper that had been in the envelope. They were laying face down on top of the box.

When I heard movement in the living room, and got up too. Tyrone was still sleeping, and I hoped he would stay that way for a little while yet. Dad was in the kitchen, sipping a cup of coffee, Joey was asleep on the couch. I went back into my room, and got the letter. I dropped it in front of him.

"Is this what you were looking for?" I asked, almost angrily.

He picked it up. "Yeah," he whispered. "Did you read them?"

"Not yours. Joey told me about it when we went for coffee last night. I found these after I got back. They were in an envelope I had not reason to open before last night. Why did you keep that from me?"

"It didn't seem important. It happened long before you were born."

I shook my head. "I don't know what to think about you right now. Joey told me about Bobby too, it made a couple of letters I had read make more sense. And about why you go custody of him"

"I changed Alex, I grew up."

"I know that, but you all lied to me. Mommy loved someone else but you, once." I began to cry. Part of me wanted him to hug me, but I knew I'd just push him away. "Daddy not only did you hurt Mommy, but you hurt Joey too."

"That's something we need to fix."

I shrugged. "I'm in the middle of it. Cause he thinks you like me better cause you were there all my life."

"That's not true."

"It's not me you need to convince."

He nodded. "I know."

A few minutes later Joey joined us in the kitchen. He poured himself a cup of coffee. Dad had folded up the letters, and returned them, I'd show him later.

"Look, I want to tell you both something," I said.

"What now?" they both asked.

"This firefighter thing, I'm doing it for myself, and for Mom. You're not going to talk me out of it now."

Dad simply nodded. "Would you mind if I stole Joey for a few hours to show him around where he grew up? Just the two of us?" "Sounds good, I need a few more hours of sleep."

I handed them my keys. They left, and I curled back into bed. I was glad to have that monkey of my chest. I was also glad that Dad was going to finally talk to him, it was long past due. I snuggled up to Tyrone, he wrapped his arm around my waist, and I fell asleep moments later.  
--

The next day Tyrone and Joey were out. I had asked them both if I could have some alone time with Dad. I knew that this had helped the relationship between my brother and father somehow, but I felt like mine had been destroyed. Dad had known all this stuff, and no one had ever bothered to tell me. He knew that I wanted to talk, but neither of us knew where to start.

"What do you need to know Alex?" he asked me.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I replied.

"I told you, it happened before you were born."

"Mommy was always honest with me, she said that you weren't a good person before. But she never told me anything like this."

"You were twelve years old, she was going to wait until you were a little bit older. She was going to tell you absolutely everything."

I nodded. "But, Daddy, why didn't you ever tell me the truth?"

I realized that when my emotions were running on high always reverted back to calling my parents, Mommy and Daddy, instead of Mom and Dad. A therapist I had to see after Mom died had told me I'd probably always do it, because I hadn't grown out of it when she had died, so when I was really upset like I was then, it was more natural for me to say Mommy and Daddy like I had when I lost her.

"I didn't want you to know the truth, Alex. I didn't want you to know the person I used to be. I changed, for your mother. When we met all I cared about was adding another score onto my card. I was a horrible person. I was not the kind of man anyone wanted their daughter around. But I changed, even before you came along, I changed. I even grew up."

"I know that! I knew that!" I yelled, angry, and frustrated.

"You didn't know just how bad I really was."

"Did she love Bobby?"

"Probably, but she only realized it when he was gone. Bobby was a great person. He helped everyone, and he loved your mother more then I ever could have. He dated other people, even Taylor, but the only person in his heart was her. Everyone knew it, she liked him too. But I had already taken your mother's heart, and I wasn't giving it back for him to take. She was mine, she had my kid, and whether I or not I needed her at the time, she was mine."

I was crying. Your father is not supposed to be such a pig, he's just not. But mine was, I was glad he was admitting it, but he never would have had I not found those letters. I never would have known half the things I needed to know about either of them. He could have told me this when I said I was moving to New York to find out about Mom and Alex Taylor, and him too.

He should have told me before I left, he had all the answers the whole time, and he never gave them to me! I resented Dad for that. I didn't want to hate him for his past, because it was just that, his past. It shouldn't change how I looked at him, but I was starting to, and not because of what it was. It was because I had to pry it out of him, when I had asked so many times for him just to tell me.

That's all I ever wanted to know, the truth, and now that I was getting it, I wasn't sure I wanted to know anymore. I certainly had not wanted to learn about all the skeletons in our closet all at once. First I find out that my mother had loved another person, when I had always believed that the only man who had meant that much in her life was Dad. Then I find out she tried to kill herself. Then I find out that my dad almost killed her by taking my brother away from her.

"Did you ever love Mommy before?" I asked.

"Not in the same way as I did later. I was a horrible person who only cared about himself. Until I had to start taking care of your brother. Joey was the one who turned me around. If I had to pick a favorite, I'd have to pick him. I would have never changed had he not become my life."

I nodded. "But why did you take him in the first place?"

He looked at me straight in the eyes. "Because he was mine." I could hardly believe it. "I know it's horrible, but that was why. After Kim tried to kill herself, I could not chance her doing it again, or doing something to him. But mostly it was because he was my kid, and if she didn't want me, she couldn't have him either."

"Would she have hurt him, or tried again?"

"Probably not."

I nodded. "So you took the last thing she had in her life away, and expected her to be fine?"

"No."

"What no?"

He stared at the floor. "I expected her to fall apart, I expected her to fall, and just keep falling until she had to come crawling back to me, begging me to be the man of her dreams. She knew what she had lost with Bobby, a great guy. She lost the only person who had ever loved her for her and not for her-" He stopped but I knew exactly what he meant. "She told me more then once that Bobby had told her he loved her, and she had told him she didn't deserve his love. But she did, she really did. But I made damn sure that at the time the only kind of love she wanted was my kind. I made her think that what she deserved and needed was me."

"But why?"

"I told you already, at that time I thought she was mine."

"What changed?"

"When I started to take care of your brother, properly, because I had to, I started to learn stuff about myself. What I could handle, what I couldn't. I learned what I had to do, and I also learned that in some ways Joey was more grown up then me. He'd tell me what he could have for breakfast, lunch, and supper. Before he had just been my little buddy, but when I had to take care of him, I had to do it right. If I didn't I didn't know how he'd turn out. I knew that I wanted him to be better then me though, I needed him to be better then me. But I knew the only way I could do that was to show him what a real man was, and I was not that at the time. So I started to grow up too."

"So what about Mommy?"

"We did our own thing, for a while. I dated other people, and so did she. She showed me just how strong she was in dealing with all of that stuff, alone, all alone, in the apartment she had once shared with her child. But I was growing up more then anything else. Seeing her be strong, and be real made me fall in love with her, while we weren't even together. I never thought I'd have a second chance."

"What changed?"

"She went out with the writer, who ended up being intervenes drug user. She didn't make the best choice when it came to him. She thought because he was a famous writer, that it was okay, and nothing could happen."

I knew what he was trying not to tell me. "I understand."

"When she realized the truth, it was my shoulder she came crying on. She told me how stupid she was being, and was expecting me to agree, and then we'd let things get carried away, and it would all go back to the way it was. I had grown past that, I wanted to show her what I could be, and how much I had changed. I told her how smart she was, and how great she was. So I supported her as a friend, for the first time, and it felt good."

"At the same time as she was dealing with that, we both had to deal with Taylor and Lieutenant Johnson dieing. We both needed each other then. We had both been promoted, and we were both trying to be strong, and do what we h to. Even adults need shoulders to cry on, and most times words are better then action. Your mother and Alex were friends, they had Bobby in common, and Alex was living your mother's dream. I was worried that the same thing would happen as when Bobby died. But I was determined not to let that happen again. I was the man she needed me to be that time. I was strong, and I was there for her. One thing led to another, but we went slowly this time. We got engaged, and then she gave me back the ring, and I left. You know the rest of story right?"

I nodded. "The letters have the emotional details of all of that stuff, so yes, I know the rest of it.."

He hugged me, and I was glad he had. "So it was just a matter of growing up?"

"Mostly."

He then left the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I went back into my own room, and started to re-organize my mother's box. I needed to just be around her things, to try to understand everything.

I always knew that my dad had been bad news, but I had never been told all the details. It was a lot to handle at once, but I knew, somehow I would be able to deal with all of the feelings that were going through me.

I knew the whole story now, not just bits and pieces that I had to put together, not just about my mother and father, but about other people in their lives too. That was what I had been looking for, in going to New York. The stupid part was that the answers had always been there, I just wasn't asking the right questions of the right people.

I was glad all the same that I had come to New York, because I was able to get more perspective on everything. I was able to learn about myself, while learning about all the people who mattered in my life.

It was not an opportunity many people got, and I was glad I was able to. It was all out now, all the skeletons had fallen out, and everything seemed to be cleaned up. I knew what I needed to know, I just got the information a lot faster then I would have liked. I knew that I'd be fine with my father, and with everything, but it would not happen overnight.

I also knew that this whole experience just made me want to do the firefighter's exam all the more. I needed to prove to myself what I was capable of. I needed to prove to everyone that I was not my mother's clone, but an extension of her. She always taught me to live with no regrets, and as little fear as possible. She always made me believe I could achieve anything, and passing that exam was something I had to achieve.

I had to look past my fear of fire. It was totally unfounded, and it was just a chain that was keeping me down. My mother had let chains keep her down, and away from what she really wanted, and I wasn't about to do the same. Although she grew to love my father, and my father grew to love her, her life would have been easier if she had just believed that she deserved the sun and the moon.

I needed to take the exam for her, to show her, wherever she was, that I could, just like her do whatever it took to make me happy. I heard a knock on my bedroom door. I looked up and nodded at my dad. He handed me a cup of coffee, then sat down on the floor with me.

"Are we good, kiddo?" he asked.

"We're going to be."

He handed me his letter, the suicide one from mom. "This is yours, she wanted you to have all of these."

I took it, and began to read it;  
Jimmy, I know that somewhere deep down inside you may just love me, but I can't wait for you anymore. There is someone else who loves me, probably more then you ever could or will. But I pushed him away, and now he's gone, forever. He knew the risk he was running when he told me he loved me. Jimmy, he loved me, not because of what I did in bed, but because of who I was. That's not the kind of love you had for me, was it? I was a piece of ass, someone to add to your score card, but you wanted to make sure that I never knew. You wanted me to believe that one day you would crawl up out of the whole you had dug for yourself, and you would do right by me. But, you know what Jimmy? You haven't, and you probably won't. When someone offered me real love, real feelings, and everything I had always dreamed about, all I wanted was you. Now that all I might have is you, all I want is him. Maybe, this isn't the best way, but it's all I can think of doing. I want you to come in on a white horse and save me, but you won't. I would love to see Joey grow up, but he is just a painful reminder of my past. I love him more then I love anything on this earth, and please don't tell him differently. But this, losing Bobby, is too much pain, too much sadness, and too much to deal with. He's the only person who can help me through everything, and he's not here. So maybe, if I try to join him, I may finally make my peace.  
Make sure you tell Joey everyday that I love him, and that I didn't go away because of him. I went away because I was so sad I couldn't bare the thought of taking another breath. I am so sad, Jimmy, that he's all I have, and I can't even seem to take care of him right, I can't even give him the father he deserves. I know he needs his mother, but his mother is sick, and can't bare to hold up her world anymore, because the world Atlas was carrying was far smaller then the one I'm forced to carry. So good bye, I'm going to join the man I love.  
Kimmy

"Wow," I whispered.

"Yeah."

"You became those things you know?"

He nodded. "Without her having to ask."

"So do you think she's with him now?"

"Probably, and he's probably laughing his ass off for becoming so much like him, kind of. I used to hassle him for being a good guy, and now I wish I had always been one."

I hugged him. "I think I still love you, Daddy."

"Tells me when you know for sure."

He then left me alone again, I knew that if my mother had been able to forgive him, I certainly should have been able to. He was those things, and he didn't deny it, he just didn't like to tell everyone how he used to be.

I took a sip of my coffee, and just pawed at the letters. Picking up a few that I had already read, and skimming them, mostly the ones about her forgiving my dad, and being able to go to him. I really didn't hate my dad, I just didn't know what to think about him at that moment. I went into the living room, where dad was sitting, watching TV.

"Are you glad to have changed?" I asked.

"My biggest regret is that I didn't do it sooner. Your mother deserved more then I gave her," he explained.

"Love's like that I guess."

"Tyrone isn't like that is he?"

I shook my head. "No, of course not. He has his quirks, but he's good to me."

"You know I'm obligated to not like him, right?"

I laughed. "I know."

The door opened, and Joey and Tyrone came in. I smiled at them both, so that they'd know it was all right to come in. The only upside to all the family drama that had taken place was that no one seemed to be too bothered about Tyrone and me living together. Dad was sitting on the couch. Joey sat down on one of the recliners. I was on the loveseat, Tyrone sat down next to me, wrapping his arm around me. I smiled, I always relaxed so much when he was around.

"So what did you do all this time?" I asked him.

"Not much, we went for coffee, and just kind of talked," Joey replied.

"Yeah, just some male bonding," Tyrone explained.

I smiled, at least one person seemed to be getting along with him. I knew that my dad didn't hate him, he just didn't like anyone dating his daughter. It was strange how when we were all in the same room, no one had anything to say.

They left not long after that, as much as I liked them visiting, I was glad to finally have some alone time with Tyrone.

"How about a massage?" he asked.

"That sounds amazing," I replied.

"Get into the bed, and I'll get some scented candles to help relax you."

He always knew exactly what I needed. As soon as his hands began their magic on my back, I knew that everything would be all right. It was a lot of information to take in, but there was nothing else that could fall out of the closet. When I felt overwhelmed I had him to listen, he was a great person, and I was glad I had found him. I just hoped I'd never have lose him, he was just too good to replace.

"Right there," I purred.

"Alex," he protested.

"They're gone, come here."

I rolled over, and pulled him on top of me, for a very long, deep kiss. I'm glad I got it right the first time.  
--

I had never been so glad to be back at work, with all the family drama, the whole Tyrone thing was a non issue. I didn't want to deal with anyone, so I had gone right to the bus to clean after I got changed. Emily joined me, handing me a coffee, not long after I was done cleaning.

"How did the visit go?" she asked me.

"So many skeletons fell out of the closest, I'm not sure anyone noticed that Tyrone was even any kind of issue," I replied.

"That good huh?" she chuckled.

"You have no idea, I could write a soap opera with what I learned about my family's past the last few days."

She shook her head. "Do have a Coles notes version?"

"I think my father was pretty much like Dylan is with Angela when it came to my brother. That was until the day that the guy my mother really loved was killed, and then my mother tired to kill herself. So my ever loving father petitioned the court for custody, and subsequently won. It was only in taking care of Joey that he realized how much his son meant to him. And why was it that my Dad want custody of a the kid he had never had much to do with before? Easy he didn't want the woman who had just tried to kill herself raise his son. Wasn't that nice of him? She had just lost her best friend, and instead of helping her through it, she took away her son! Ladies and Gentleman, I introduce my father, the world's biggest asshole."

"Yikes."

I laughed. "Yikes is the understatement of the century."

"Anything good come of it?"

"I think my dad and brother are closer now. I'm just not sure what to think of my dad right now."

"You knew he wasn't a nice person in his younger years."

I shrugged. "I knew he wasn't good, but I never imagined he was such a jerk. I really didn't need to know all the gory details."

"I guess not." She was looking at the ground. "That must have been a lot of information to take in all at once."

"Yeah, don't get me wrong, I'm kind of glad I know. But it was still hard to hear all the details all at once. Mom never told me a lot of the stuff, or just how horrible he was back then."

"She didn't want to see you father in that light. She already had a son who was very nervous around him."

"I guess you're right." I was staring at my hands.

"It's a lot to take in all at once, I can't even imagine. At least I know most of the stuff that happened between my parents, cause I saw it happening."

"Yeah, but he was a good guy when I was growing up, really. I guess he was making up for his past, but I think he did a great job."

"That's all that matters then, right?"

"I guess."

"You could write a book about your life you know that?" She chuckled.

I laughed. "On my whole family, but I'd venture to guess they wouldn't be too keen on the idea."

She nodded. "Probably not so much, huh?

"Well, let's get started."

"Do we have to?"

"It's our job."

We got into the bus. It surprised me but I was finally starting to get familiar with New York. I actually had an idea where our first few calls were. I was nowhere near ready to drive, but I generally knew what part of town things were in, and I could get to the places I went to most often without getting lost, even if there was any kind of detour.

I was actually starting to really like the city, and I finally understood why my mother had missed it so much. I hadn't really understood before, and I understood it even less when I got here, but now I was starting to understand.

I knew that I would have to tell her about my plan, to take the firefighter's test, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I knew she would not like the idea. But I knew I had to tell her. She would find out right after I applied, so I'd rather she head it from me. It was just something that I had to do, especially in light of all that I had learned that weekend.

I was pretty certain that after I told her she would try to talk me out of it, but I needed to do it. Everyone said I was so much like Mom, if I could pass the test, and make a squad it would be that she would have been able to as well .She had given up so much for me, and for Joey, I needed to prove to myself that I was able to do something as remarkable. It didn't really compare to having a child, but right now that was not something I was even thinking about.

When lunch finally rolled around I decided it was much past due that I tell Emily about my plan. We decided to go to a deli that day. There wasn't very much room to sit, but we found a table in a corner. I didn't know how to bring up the idea casually.

"I'd like your opinion on something," I said.

She swallowed what was in her mouth. "About what?"

"Whether or not everyone over reacted about something."

"Who's everyone?"

"My Dad, my brother, and Tyrone."

"What did you tell them?"

"I told them I wanted to take the firefighter's test, and they all think it's a bad idea."

She looked at me, surprised. "What?"

"I don't know if I actually want to join a squad or anything like that. I just want to see if I could pass the tests."

"Are you insane?"

"So you agree with them then?"

"I never said that. I just don't think that a fun work day would include hanging out with a bunch of rugged fireboys."

I laughed. "As I said I'm not sure I'd actually go and do the job. I just want to see if could do it."

"What brought this on?"

"The stuff I've been reading in those letters I found."

She nodded. "I understand. So, your mother wanted to be a firefighter?"

"Yeah, until she had my brother. She thought it would be better if one of his parents wasn't running into burning buildings."

'That makes sense."

I nodded. "I just want to see if I can do it."

"What about your fear of fire?"

"It's one of the main reasons I'm not sure I'll actually go for it completely. I think I'm gonna do the tests then see what happens."

"Just be ready to hear me tease you."

"Fair enough."

She had been more supportive then I thought she would have. I was glad that she wasn't trying to talk me out of it like everyone else seemed to be. I wasn't even sure what I'd do if I passed. I loved being a paramedic, but it was always a rush when I went above what I should have been doing. I remembered that day in the school, about how much I loved being in the centre of the action. I also remembered the look in that other guys eyes when Carter told him that I was not a medic. It was like he had been surprised, to find out, and it kind of empowered me.

I had liked that feeling, and I wanted to feel it again. Maybe it wasn't the best idea I had ever had, but I needed to know for sure if I could do it or not. I needed a challenge, and that seemed like a good one.

I didn't care that everyone thought it was a bad idea, I had to do it. I had to be sure that I could pass, and then I may not even do anything about it. After everything that I had learned, I knew I needed to at least try to see what would happen. I knew my mother was watching me from somewhere, and I wanted to make her proud. I wanted to show her that it could be done, as long as there wasn't an obstacle. My mind was made up, and though I was asking opinions, I was not looking for their permission, or blessing. I was going to do it, regardless of how anyone else felt.

end

end notes: how is that for over zealous muse? it's a mine field there's so many bombs going off! kim is my fave character, so i appologize that she gets such a spolight in these fics, please tell me what you think.. next up emily, and will a bomb go off from that story line! reviews will help with my speed on getting stuff posted ;)


	8. Emily 2

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Emily 2  
AUTHOR: trista groulx  
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language  
SUMMARY: It's Emily again, want to know what got my family talking again? Just read this part of my story.  
AUTHORS NOTES: holy freaking plot twists batman! i got this idea in my head, what you will read below, and i just had to do it, did some research so my medical info is right, a big thanx must go out to my bro for all his help... i will leave you hanging at the end of this one kids, you've been warned... dylan's piece is almost done so the more reviews i get the quicker my wee little cliffhanger is resolved!  
also i have the timeline a bit wonky from the orignal show i hadn't seen all the eps just read summaries, so bear with any really big plot holes, buti mean it was to expected right, i changed the age of a couple of orignals to make it fit! laugh anywho tell me if you're still digging waht i'm doing here 

I wasn't teasing Alex about the firefighter's exam because I was jealous of her or anything like that, if anything I envied her. She was able to actually go for it, nothing was holding her back. I had thought about it, before Angela came along. But I could not live with the idea of risking life and limb leaving my daughter motherless. Since she had been born I had to stop being so crazy in the field. I, once upon a time, would have done the kinds of things I now saw my partner doing. But I could not risk my daughter losing her mother when she didn't even know her father.

Maybe the story would be slightly different if she had had anyone but me to be rely on, but I was all she had. My mother and Bosco were great with her, and I appreciated all their help, in a way I don't think I could reciprocate. But their job was not to raise my child because I wanted to go running head first into danger.  
So instead of being totally supportive of my friend, I teased her mercilessly. Bugging her about being a smelly fireboy and other taunts like that. I think she knew deep down inside I wasn't entirely serious. But I couldn't tell her the truth, which also pissed me off.

She was a great friend, she told me just about everything. I liked to say that we were really good friends, but as much as I knew about her, she knew little about me.

Part of the reason I was so closed up was because of Dylan. I had trusted him immediately, and all he ever did was hurt me. I knew I was stupid for always going back, but he made it so easy to trust him. He made it so easy to talk to him. Then would thing would lead to another, and I would think it was something more the it really was.  
I knew I was just a booty call, or something, but I liked to make myself believe that I could be something more. Every time he called I fell for the same old tricks. He would get me talking, get me alone, and I would walk right into the trap, again and again.

Maybe part of the reason I kept running back was that he had given me the best thing in my life, my daughter. But mostly it was because he knew exactly what to tell me, and knew exactly when I needed to hear it. In the end I'd always end up hating myself, but as it happened I honestly believed that it would be different that time. How stupid can one person be? When I got to that point though, I couldn't help but think of the stories Alex told me about her mother. She had stuck it out with her guy, and got him in the end, so why couldn't I? It wasn't stupid to hold out hope, it could all work out in the end, it had for other people.

"Mommy!" Angela cried.

It was time for me to start another exciting day, of chastising my partner, and good friend for no real reason. I went into Angela's room, and took her out of her crib. I realized that she was probably old enough for a big girl bed, and then she'd be able to play when she woke up instead of just standing there waiting for me, until she was bored.

"Angela, how about we get you a big girl bed soon?" I asked her.

She giggled. "Yeah! I want a big gurl bed!"

"We'll go on Mommy's next day off, okay?"

"'Kay!"

I got her dressed as I did every morning. Then we had breakfast, that morning we decided on cereal. I didn't want to admit that she had grown out her crib, but she had. She was still my baby, but she was growing up, and before long she wouldn't be a baby anymore. She was even mostly potty trained, except for at night.

It was a nice day so I decided to walk to my mother's. She fussed when I went to put her in her carriage, but if I let her walk I'd end up late for work, or I wouldn't be able to visit with my mom and Bosco. I rang the doorbell, and Bosco answered it, like always, we had all accepted the fact that I never came right in in the morning.

"Baco!" Angela exclaimed, jumping up and down in her carriage.

He took her out of the carriage, and picked her up. "Hey Angie, what's new?" he laughed.

"Imma get a big gurl bed!"

"Really? Wow! Can I sleep in it?"

She laughed. "No!"

"Why not?"

"You're a boy! And imma get a big GURL bed."

I couldn't help but laugh. "She has a point."

"Just for that, I'm gonna have to find the tickle monster!" Bosco exclaimed, she began to run away.

"No tickle monster!" she giggled.

He started chasing after her, and soon caught her, and began to tickle her. He never went overboard when he tickled her, like some people did. He always made sure she could catch her breath, and she was having fun. I went into the kitchen.

"A big girl bed, huh?" Mom asked.

"I figure it's about time. Plus this way I can get a few more minutes of sleep, cause she won't be wanting out of the crib."

"It's hard to admit she needs it, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

"I'm really starting to understand you Mom, everything you did when I was younger. You weren't crazed, you cared."

She nodded. "I just wish I could have spent more time with you."

"You had to do what you had to do to keep food on the table, and a roof over our heads."

She hugged me. "I'm glad you see it that way Em."

"I wish I could make Charlie see."

She shrugged. "One day, he might. How did the exam go for your partner?"

I looked at the floor. "She passed," I replied, quiet unenthusiastically.

"Don't be like that, Em."

"Like what?"

"You're pretending you're pissed off because you're envious."

I couldn't get much past my mother. "Maybe a little."

"I bet if you asked her, she'd tell you she understands that you don't do it because of Angela, just like her mother didn't do it because of her son."

I smiled. "I know, but-"

"They'll always be a part of you that wants what she has, but that's not the way your cards fell. You should be proud of what you have achieved, instead of being down when you look at what you haven't."

"Like what?"

"You are still doing your, more or less, dream job, while being a mother to your daughter. You are coping very well with all of your responsibilities, even when her father doesn't want anything to do with either of you."

That wasn't exactly true, Dylan wanted something to do with me, but it had nothing to do with our family. It had to do with his needs when he was down. It ended up making me feel worse, while he could feel better. I couldn't tell my mother the truth, so I simply nodded.

"I know," I said, "but-"

She interrupted me. "The grass is always greener on the other side."

I nodded. "I understand, completely, Mom, really, it's just hard some days."

"That's life, Em."

I needed to change the subject. "Are you getting excited about your cruise?"

Mom smiled. "Very, excited. You found someone to look after Angela while we're gone?"

"Yes, I'm just glad I don't have to pay for childcare on a regular basis!"

She laughed. "That bad?"

"Yeah. Anyway, I should get going, work awaits."

She smiled, and gave me a big hug. "Love you," she said.

"Love you too, Mom," I whispered, glad to have been able to get her opinion.

Bosco was now reading Angela a book. She looked up and waved. I blew her a kiss.

"Love you, Angela."

She blew me a kiss. "Love you Mommy, bye-bye!"

It never got any easier to leave that house in the morning. Everyday I just wanted to spend with her. She was my entire world, and I hated leaving her for any reason. I knew that I had to.

As much as I liked my partner, I was in a foul mood with her since she had told me she had passed the test. I think what infuriated me the most was she was not planning on doing anything with her new qualification. Of course I'd be pissed off if I had to work with someone else, so it was really a lose, lose situation for her.

I was jealous, there was no denying it. I was mad that she got to do something I would only ever wish to do. I got to work, and she was talking with a couple of the fireboys. They all liked her a lot, and treated her like one of the guys. That got to me too, sometimes. They all looked at me differently because I had a kid.

She was one of my best friends, and I loved her as my friend, I really did, she just got my blood boiling some days. Even without this firefighter thing, I had been jealous of her, ever since she had moved in with Tyrone. I thought I had my hot cop, but as soon as it looked like it could get serious he bailed.

There was no comparison between Dylan and Tyrone, of course, but it still made me mad. She got what she had wanted, and lived a fairytale with him, while I had to fight to get my daughter's father to acknowledge her. It wasn't her fault or anything, it just got me down some days.

I had grown up with Tyrone, he had been best friends with my brother for a very long time. So even though he was good looking I never really had any interest in him. Dating him would be like dating my little brother. I was happy that he found someone good, he was a great guy he deserved a girl that didn't take advantage of him.

The group was laughing, I missed the joke as always. I went upstairs to change. When I got back downstairs, Alex was gone. I went outside and she was at the bus, doing prep for the day.

"Good morning!" she exclaimed, cheerily.

"Good morning yourself," I replied. "Any particular reason you're in such a good mood this morning?"

She shrugged. "I'm always in a good mood when it's this nice out."

After everything was ready, we set out for the day. I spent most of the day bugging her about being a fireboy. But even that didn't seem to damper her good mood. --

I was glad that my mother and Bosco would be back from their cruise soon. Angela seemed more irritable since she was with the sitter. I asked if she had noticed anything out of the ordinary, and she assured me that it was probably just because she was not used to being taken care of by a stranger.

When I noticed some bruises on her, I really began to worry, and didn't want to bring her back at all. I wasn't sure where else I could take her the next day. If I had to I'd take the day off, just to be sure she would be safe.  
Another thing that alarmed me was that Angela was pretty much potty trained, accept for needing a pull-up at night. But of late she had been having accidents more often. When I asked her about it, she said that she couldn't get to the bathroom quick enough.

I just couldn't seem to sleep I was so worried that something was happening at the sitter's. I knew I didn't want to have her go back there. She just wasn't acting like herself, and she still wasn't very good at telling me when she wasn't feeling right. I began to worry that something might be seriously wrong with her. I was looking through some of my medical books to see if was able to find anything that could cause the symptoms.

"Mommy!" I heard her shout, and then begin to cry.

I was really worried, she may be in her terrible twos but she certainly wasn't one to just start crying to get my attention. I ran into her room, and she was screaming and crying like she was in pain.

"Mommy!" she exclaimed running into my arms. "Owie!"

"Where?"

"Owie!" she screamed.

Normally she would just point to where was hurting, but she didn't. I tried asking her again, and she just kept saying the same thing. She was in pain, and I didn't know what to do to stop it. I knew I had to get her to the hospital, whatever was wrong was beyond my training.

I called for a cab, one that came equipped with a car seat. I didn't think it was necessary for an ambulance. I bundled her up, it was a cool night, and I didn't want to make her any worse. She didn't want to stop crying, even while I bounced her around in my arms. This was much to stressful. What could possibly be wrong with her so suddenly?

I ran to the cab as soon as it pulled up in front of my building. I fumbled to get her strapped into her car seat. The cabbie looked put off with the screaming child fare. Like I even gave a shit, he'd just have to deal with it. She was sick and I needed to get her to a hospital.

"Look, I'm sorry, can you drive us to Mercy hospital?" I asked.

"This is not an ambulance," he stated.

"I drive one for a living, and I don't think this is case that warrants my calling one. The quicker you start driving, the sooner you'll have her out of your taxi."

He went silent, and drove us over to Mercy. I don't even know how much I gave him, but I knew it was much more then I owed him. I ran into the emergency room.

It was something I had done so many times before, but it was different running in with my daughter in my arms. The feeling was so different from bringing in a stranger on a gurney. I went to reception, I was really not used to that. I wondered why Nurse Trudell was still on duty, she had to have been there all day.

"I wasn't expecting to see you tonight, Emily," she said.

"I didn't want to be back. There's something wrong with my daughter," I explained.

"You must be Angela," she went to pick her up and she began to scream. "Is she usually like this?"

"No!"

"What's wrong with her?"

"Mommy! Owie!" she screamed again.

"Where hurts honey?" Nurse White asked her.

"Owie!" she sobbed.

"I don't know where hurts, but she's been bruising really quickly, and missing the bathroom. I just hope it wasn't her new sitter," I explained

I looked at the waiting room, there were some people there that looked like they had colds, and most of the rooms seemed to be full.

"All right, Emily, how about you go to Trauma two, and I'll get a doctor in there as soon as I can?"

"Thank you."

A few minutes later a doctor came in, I had never worked with him before. I knew all of the emergency room doctors, so I wondered why he had been called down. Angela was still crying in my arms. This was not her, she must really be hurting I tried to calm her before she made herself sick.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Larson, Nurse Trudell requested I come down here to look at your daughter. I'm a pediatric surgeon."

My face when white, I knew it, I wanted to know why it was she had felt the need to call a specialist for her. At that point I didn't really care to know all the details.

"Yes, her name is Angela Mathews, I'm Emily Yokas," I explained. "I don't know what's wrong, she just says she's sore, and won't point to where hurts."

"All right, have you noticed any differences in her of late?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she has a few bruises, I think from the new sitter, and she's not been peeing as much, but usually doesn't make it to the bathroom in time when she does."

"Anything else?"

"Not really. She just woke up like this. Normally she'll point at where hurts, but she can't, as you can tell she's in a lot of pain right now."

Angela was still in my arms screaming bloody murder. How had she gotten so bad so fast? She had been fine when I put her to bed. I was even more surprised when Nurse Trudell appeared in the doorway with a hospital crib. They obviously suspected something that I did not.

"I'm going to have to talk Angela for some tests. I'm going to ask you to wait in the waiting room," Doctor Larson explained I nodded, knowing better then to really protest. It I made a big scene then so would Angela. There was no point in arguing for the sake of arguing. Angela was usally well behaved so I didn't see any reason to stay with her through everything. I put her in the crib, and kissed her on the forhead.

"The doctor is going to look at you so you can feel better. Mommy can't go with you, so be a big girl, okay?"

She sniffled, and looked at me, her eyes wide, I knew she was scared. "Big gurl?"

"Yeah, be brave like Daddy at work, kay?"

"Kay."

I knew she was probably terrified, but there was not much I could do to help her, even if I followed her. I went into the waiting room, and fell onto a chair. What could possibly be wrong with her? I kept asking myself. My brain started listing all kinds of cancers that had those kinds of symptoms. I couldn't make myself stop, and I couldn't just think that is was something on a smaller scale.

She would not have been seen so quickly, if something wasn't very wrong. She wouldn't need a bunch of testing if it was nothing serious. It had be serious. Nurse Trudell was not the kind of nurse who over reacted, she had known right away that something was wrong with Angela, and had not only called in a pediatric surgeon she had also know to bring in the crib. What did they know that I didn't?

As I sat helplessly, I knew they were doing something to her, and my mind was racing. I needed to call someone, so that I'd have someone to sit with, while I waited. The person I wanted most, my mother, was on vacation, and I couldn't get in touch with her. I thought about calling my dad, but I really didn't want to. He's just not good in emergencies, and I really wasn't in any mood to deal with him. I also didn't want to call my brother, though I knew his wife would probably be a huge help though.

The thought of calling Dylan crossed my mind for about half a second, then I ruled him out. Even though she was his daughter, he would want nothing to do with her being sick. I just sat there, alone for a long time. Then it hit me, I could call Alex!  
I felt a bit bad calling her, as I had been teasing her mercilessly since she had passed her firefighter's exam. Even so, she was my friend, and she would probably come if I called, and told her I needed her.

I hoped that she would understand why it was I was calling so late. I knew that I'd also wake Tyrone, but I really needed someone to talk to, and to be there when they told me what was wrong. I just knew it was going to be something major. I'm a paramedic for Pete's sake, it takes a lot for me to rush my kid off to the emergency room! I was glad in a way that I would be calling Alex, she had proven time and time again that she could keep her head on in an emergency. I can too, as a general rule, but she had proven that she was able to keep her head on when someone she cared about was the one in trouble.

I admired her more then she would ever know for being able to work on Tyrone after he had been shot. I had had enough trouble dealing with Dylan's shock that day. But she stayed calm, and just did what she had to do, things probably would have been much worse had she not done that.

It amazed me that she was able to work on the man she loved just like she would have worked on any other call we would have gotten. That was the kind of person you liked to have around in an emergency situation, I knew she would help calm me.  
I knew that they would both understand my calling in the middle of the night, but it didn't make me not feel much better. It's one thing to call family in an emergency, it's quiet another when you have to call your friends. But there was no way around it, I would go nuts if I had to sit in that waiting room too long alone.  
I went over to a phone, to make the call. It rang a couple of times.

"Hello?" I heard a very groggy Tyrone grumble into the phone.

"I need to talk to Alex," I replied.

I knew I sounded rude, but the shorter the conversation the more likely it was that he'd at least be able to fall back to sleep. I heard rustling around on their end.

"Hello?" Alex mumbled into the phone.

"Hi Alex, it's me. Angela's in the hospital, I didn't know who else to call," I began to cry.

"Calm down, Em, I'll be right there."

"I'm in one of the waiting rooms, at Mercy."

The phone went dead, and I knew she was on her way. I could hardly believe it, she didn't question it, even my family, except my mother, would have asked more questions before rushing out in the middle of the night. Not that I had any answers. All I knew was that there was something seriously wrong with Angela, and they were still running tests on her.

I wanted so much to be in there with her, holding her hand, but I knew I'd just be in the way. I felt so helpless, not knowing what was wrong, and not being able to do anything to help her. Part of me was hoping I had over-reacted, and it really was just a cold or something, but they were not symptoms I had ever seen before.

You'd think with my emergency medical training I'd be able to figure out what the hell was wrong with my infant daughter! Most of the time I did, and the doctor's hated me for telling them what I thought was wrong, but this simply was not one of those cases.

When I saw Alex come into the waiting room, I couldn't believe it. She was still in her pajamas! They were nice ones, dark pink satin, full pants and blouse. Before I could even say hello, she had given me a hug.

"How are you doing?" she asked.

"Could be better. I'll be better once I know what's going on, they're still running tests."

"She'll be all right," she assured me. "You'll get through this."

It actually helped to hear those words. "You could have gotten dressed, you know?"

"I'm wearing a bra." She stated plainly.

"So?"

She shrugged. "These cover more then some of my clothes!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "You're a strange one, you know that?"

"So I've been told. I've never had a problem running around in my jammies, my brother and I go for late night coffee dressed like this all the time."

I simply shook my head. "You're brave to frequent a New York City ER dressed like that."

"You should try it sometime. I bet it'd be a good way to pick up a doctor, or one of those yummy male nurses."

I shook my head, and couldn't help but smile. I was glad she was there, having her there was a nice break from all the worst case scenarios that were running through my head. There were just so many things that could be wrong with her. I didn't want to think of them, but they just kept running through my mind.

I was glad that my friend was there, her presence had calmed me considerably. The door to the room opened, and the doctor from before entered the room.

"Miss Yokas," he started.

"Please call me Emily," I whispered, Alex had taken my hand.

"Emily, I'd like to talk to you about Angela's condition."

"I'd like my friend to stay with me, please."

"Of course. From the tests I've preformed we've determined that Angela has had acute kidney failure."

Alex squeezed my hand harder. She was so strong. I couldn't believe what he had just told me, my baby had kidney failure. That thought never crossed my mind. How in the world does a child so young have kidney failure?

"So what does this mean?" I whispered.

"Right now Angela's going to need dialysis on a regular basis, until we are able to find her a suitable donor. In children so young we generally prefer to keep them hospitalized until a donor is found. It's a safety precaution of course, so that we can monitor any changes, and keep her from the trauma of being rushed back and forth from the hospital."

I fell silent, I was only half listing. My baby needed a kidney transplant? I began to cry. Alex pulled me close, and hugged me, comforting me until I was able to compose myself. How was she being so calm? The world was falling apart! My two and half year old needed major surgery! I was glad in a way that Alex was so calm, cause I needed someone who had her head on her shoulders.

As great as she was being I really needed my mother. Who was going to be back the next day. I wasn't sure if I could hold out that long. Alex smoothed my hair, and I began to calm down. I looked up at the doctor.

"What caused this?" I asked.

"From what I can tell there was a blood clot behind one of the kidneys, she was probably born with it. The blood clot probably seemed harmless, or even went unnoticed because of where it was. It's far from common but there are cases of this happening. Unfortunately when the clot began to grow, it did serious damage to the first kidney. Since Angela's so young she was unable to tell you that something wasn't right, until the second kidney was affected, and her muscles started to ache. That's why she couldn't show you where it hurt, everywhere hurt."

I nodded. "Can I see her?"

"Of course."

"Can my friend come with me?"

"Yes, follow me," he started. "I have put Angela on the national registry, of course, but that takes months to get a match. With the birthrates what they are most of the time it's impossible to get a child a matching organ. We have found, however, that even in children this young parents and family members are able to donate, with a high rate of success. There are always risks involved with organ transplantation of course, however live transplants have a much higher success rates. Especially when blood relative is able to make the donation, as long as the organ is not too large we'll be able to transplant it into even a child as young as your daughter."

I nodded. "I understand, how soon can I be tested?"

"I'll book you in first thing in the morning. I would also suggest that you ask the father to come in as well, you both are of course the best bets. If you have any siblings, I would urge you to ask them as well, your parents, and even your friends if they're willing. My advise is always to get everyone you know to get tested."

I really didn't know that many people who I could ask to do that. Dylan was out of the question he had never wanted Angela and I knew he wouldn't step up when he was needed. I didn't want to, but felt I had to ask my Dad and brother to at least do the tests. I knew that my mother would, no questions asked, as would Bosco.

He opened the door to the room for us. Angela was sleeping, she looked so tiny, even the hospital crib seemed huge for her. She had a breathing tube in her nose, a heart rate monitor beeping, and an IV tube in her arm. I couldn't believe I was seeing her life that. I gasped, glad she was asleep and had not heard my reaction.

Alex, who had been holding my hand the entire time, wrapped her arm around my shoulder. I laid my head on her shoulder, and began to cry. The doctor left us alone, we were both silent, accept for my sniffles, the only other sound I could hear was the beeping of the monitor.

"She'll make it, she's strong like her mother," Alex whispered.

Somehow that comforted me. My rock was telling me I was being strong. I could hardly believe it. I wanted to believe that she'd be all right, but she had such a battle ahead of her. I just hoped that I, or someone in my family, would be a match. I just couldn't trust that Dylan would do the right thing, and sacrifice a few years of his own life so his daughter could have one --

I was so glad when my mother had showed up at the hospital. I had left her a message on where to meet when she got back with Bosco. I started to cry as soon as I saw her, she gave me a big hug, and assured me everything was going to be all right. We were lucky that Angela had gotten a private room, and so they didn't really care how many people visited at once. Angela brightened right up upon seeing Basco. I smiled, so glad she had one positive influence in her life.

"Baco!" she exclaimed.

"Angie, I missed you, I have so many presents for you!" he said, kissing her on the forehead.

"Up?"

"Sorry, Angie, you have to stay on those machines."

She pouted, she had no idea what was going on. She couldn't understand why she couldn't just go home. So far the dialysis didn't seem to dampen her spirit, I just hoped we found a match for her soon, to get it all over with.

"Have you called your father?" Mom asked.

"No."

"What about Charlie?"

"No."

"You have to call them, Emily."

"You're hear now, and I want you to stay."

She shrugged. "You still have to ask them to get tested."

"Like their kidneys are in much better shape then their livers."

"Emily!" she snapped.

"Fine, fine."

"What about Dylan?"

I looked at the ground. "I'll see what happens with all of us first."

"He is her father."

"Why would he start doing anything for her now?"

"You still have to try."

"Let me deal with Dad and Charlie first, please?"

I went to find a phone to call them both from. When I got a hold of them, I just told them that Angela was sick, and I'd like it if they came to the hospital to visit her. Neither of them really asked what, exactly was wrong, so I decided it would be better to wait till they got there to tell them what, exactly what going on.

I went back into the room, dreading when they arrived. I didn't want to know what they'd do if they all ended up in the same room together. Both of them hated my mother for marrying Bosco. I think that Charlie actually believed that my mother had been with Bosco before they got the divorce, which was totally untrue. Bosco didn't see my mother like that till a while after she divorced my dad.

She had told me that it had all started out as two friends just needing someone to listen to when they were going through a rough patch. She wasn't even sure how things got to the point where they changed, but they had. Before they knew it not only were they dating, but they were engaged.

"Look, Emily," Bosco said. "I'll leave before they get here."

"Baco! No!" Angela protested.

"I think Angela wants you to stay. Besides, if they can't get past their own stupidity for my daughter, then I really don't need them in my life."

"Emily, don't say that!" Mom snapped.

"It's true Mom, I'm sorry."

Even when Mom was just engaged to Bosco she was so much happier then I had seen her in a very long time. My mother deserved to be happy, she had been through so much shit in her life. Charlie had no problem with Dad being re-married, so I knew what he was mad about was who she had decided to marry the second time. So I concluded that he believed all the lies my dad had told him about Bosco.

It was after the wedding that what was left of the family truly split. I took Mom's side, and went to the wedding, making my dad think that I had betrayed him. Charlie didn't go to the wedding, and that made my mom feel like he had betrayed her. I just knew that Charlie actually believed that my mother had been sleeping with him the entire time they worked together.  
It broke my mother's heart, but she deserved to be happy with the man she loved, just like my dad deserved to be happy with the person he chose. Charlie simply could not see that it was the same things. He could not see past his own bitterness, and one day he'd see how wrong he was. I guess I really was the pot calling the kettle black, though, cause I was mad at my father for believing that my mother would actually cheat on him.

It was sad that my daughter's major surgery, may be the thing that made us all be able to pretend to get along, for a little while anyway. How horrible was that though? I mean that it would be something that drastic that would maybe force us all to just get along.

Not long after they showed up, almost together. I could tell that my dad was mad as soon as he saw Basco there. At least if they hurt each other it was quick trip the emergency room. I knew he was wondering why they were both so tanned, and both were wondering what was going on.

"Bosco, this isn't your family," my dad started.

"Faith is my wife now, so this is my business."

"What are you doing here?" Charlie asked. "You just leave us all alone, Bosco."

"Baco no go!" Angela screamed, putting her hands on her hips for extra emphasis.

"That's the reason I'm here."

"Don't you wanna see Grampy?" my dad asked, going to hug her.

She started to scream. "No!"

"No what?"

"She can't have hugs because of all the machines, Dad," I explained.

He kissed her on the forehead. "So why did you ask us to come here, while he's here?"

"Can we just, pretend for a moment, that we're all grown ups, and that you're here for my daughter, who you're setting a very bad example for."

"All right, Emily, get off your high horse all right?" Charlie snapped at me.

"I should have just told you over the phone, and asked you not to visit."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Cause telling the rest of your so called family that your two and half year old needs a kidney transplant is generally something to say in person."

"She needs a kidney transplant? Why?" asked Dad.

"Because she has acute kidney failure," I replied.

"What other diseases does this Dylan guy have?"

"It's not hereditary. She was born with a blood clot that grew, and infected her kidneys."

"I still blame that little piece of shit."

"Can you watch what you say around her, please?"

I hadn't realized till that moment just how little I actually knew about Dylan. Had it been hereditary I would not have known that it ran on the paternal side. I had a child with this man, and I basically knew he was a cop, a womanizer and an only child. Otherwise I knew next to nothing about him. I also knew of course that he was an asshole who really didn't want a child, he just didn't want a stranger raising his kid.

"Look, the doctors have said that since the donor lists are so long, that I should ask just about everyone I know to see if they're a match."

"Shouldn't you and Dylan be tested first?" Charlie asked.

"Ideally, but I can't seem to get a hold of him. I've left him messages, that I needed him to call, and that it was important. But he hasn't called back yet. If I have to I'll go to his door and make him come down. I don't even care if he visits, as long as they test him," I replied.

"So you're gonna make us do it, but you'll wimp out with him?" Charlie asked.

"When I get to talk to him, I'm not going to get him to weasel out of it. I know that if I'm not a match, chances are he will be."

"Then why isn't he here?"

"I explained that already."

"Like you can get him to do that, he hasn't been there for her."

I wanted to hit my brother, and make it hurt. I knew it was not a good example for my daughter. We used to be a lot closer, and I missed those times. I hoped that somehow we'd be able to get along again. I heard the door open.

I was surprised when I realized it was Alex and Tyrone who had come in. I was glad they had though some kind of gift for Angela hidden behind their backs. Alex surveyed the room, and realized there were a lot of people there.

"We can come back later," Alex said.

"No, stay, there's lots of room in here," I assured her.

"You must be Alex," my mother said, looking at her.

"What gave it away?" she asked, with a laugh.

"You look exactly like your mother."

She smiled. "Nice to meet you, finally, Mrs. Yo- uh."

"Just call me Faith." She smiled, and shook her hand. "How are you Tyrone?"

"Great Detective," he answered.

She shook her head. "You never grew out of that did you?"

"Nope."

Tyrone didn't know what to call my mother after she re-married, so he got into the habit of just calling her "Detective" cause she wasn't an officer. It was something that always stuck, and made us all laugh when he said it.

"I'm Bosco," said Bosco, shaking her hand.

"Hi."

"Fred," said my father.

"Nice to meet you."

"Charlie," said my brother.

She shook his hand. "Hello."

I could see that Charlie was checking her out, even though he was supposed to be happily married. Tyrone wrapped his arm around her, warning his friend to back away. I could tell now that it was a teddy bear that she was holding.  
" When you to came in I thought we had got into a time machine, you look so much like Davis and Kim," Bosco commented. "Emily told me you liked like your mother, but wow. You are her double!"

"They may as well have cloned her when I was made!" Alex laughed.

"Put the two of you in uniforms and I'd start having flashbacks to my younger days!"

Tyrone laughed. "I think we should say hi to Angela, then we'll leave."

They walked over to her crib, and Alex took the bear she was holding behind her back out, to show her.

"Bear!" Angela exclaimed.

"Yes, Angela, but this is a very special bear."

"Special bear?"

"Yes, he used to be mine, and he always made me feel better when I was sick. I'm sure you have lotsa toys at home, but none of them are as special as Bear here, okay?"

"Kay!"

"So whenever you're feeling yucky, and no one's here, you just tell Bear all about it, and he'll make it better."

"Really?"

"He did for me, so I can't see why he won't do the same for you." She kissed her on the forehead.

It was funny before that moment I had never seen Alex as the mothering type. I finally understood that even though I may be envious that I couldn't do stuff because of my daughter, she really did respect me for being a mother. Angela was already cuddling the bear, I was glad she had brought it for her.

I had not even thought about brining anything of Angela's from home, because she loved all of her toys, and she'd want them all. I assumed that she had noticed that when she was admitted, and had sacrificed her own childhood toy so that she wouldn't be lonely, eventually she would have to spend the nights alone.

"And remember, be brave like your Mommy, kay?"

I was shocked that she had told her to be brave like me. I always told her to be brave like her daddy. It made me feel good that she actually did respect me, and I couldn't help but realize that I had to start to let my guard down around her.

"Kay!" She then realized who was with Alex. Her face light up. "Ty!"

"One day you're gonna call me that, and my daddy's gonna get mad you," he told her, kissing her on the cheek.

"No!"

"My Daddy's named Ty, I'm Tyrone."

She stuck her tongue out him. "Ty!"

He smiled, I never realized how bad of a little flirt she was, but she was flirting with him almost as much as she flirted with Bosco, and she hardly ever saw him. Though, she did see him more then she saw her father. Still, I'd have to try to keep that behavior in check before she started pre-school, I realized.

I was glad she really didn't understand why she was in the hospital. I was also glad that she was not in as much pain as when I had brought her in. That was why I had decided to just keep her there, I couldn't deal with having to see her like that. I just hoped that all the testing would be done soon, and we'd be able to get everything started. "Have you gotten in touch with Dylan yet?" Alex asked me, as Tyrone paid attention to Angela.

"No, I've left him messages, but I haven't got an answer."

"He won't respond," Tyrone stated.

"Why do you say that?" my mom asked him.

"The last time you left him a message saying that something was important, he found he was going to be a Daddy, since then he decided to ignore any messages from anyone of the female persuasion say it's important, or an emergency," Tyrone replied.

"How would you know that?" my father asked.

"I work with him, he's my partner."

"Oh."

"If you want, Emily, we'll stop by his place, and drag him over here."

"You wouldn't mind?"

"I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to. It'll be no problem.."

I couldn't' believe that I was going to have to get my friends to go to his place so that he would actually come to see her. I just hoped that when he got here he'd be willing to at least take the tests. I wasn't sure that he would actually reduce his life expectancy even slightly so that his daughter might have a life.

Angela didn't understand what was going on, and I was glad that she didn't. How do you explain to a two and half year old that they need an organ or they could die? I just told her that the doctors needed her to stay here to make her feel better. "So, how about we get going, and we'll go talk to Dylan?" Tyrone suggested. "Maybe stop by the house and see if anyone would be willing to see if they're matches for Angela while we're at."

"You really wouldn't mind?"

"Not at all."

"What are friends for Em? It's really crowded in here, we should get going," Alex agreed.

"Thank you so much, both of," I said, giving them each a hug.

"Bye, it was nice meeting all of you," Alex said.

"See you soon," Tyrone said.

"Bye, bye Ty!" Angela said.

"Bye Angela, be good."

Not long after they left my brother and father went to get the tests done to see if they were matches. Angela fell asleep, and my mother and Bosco left before she woke up and wouldn't let them leave at all. I wanted to stay with her, but I knew I'd have to get back to work eventually.

I watched her sleeping, she seemed so much smaller in that crib. I was having so much trouble accepting what was going on. I was angry with the world, why did the fates decide that my daughter was the one to get sick? She was all I really had, and she might be taken away from me.

I wished that I could take her place, and I be the one who was sick, needing a kidney transplant. She had not even had a chance to live, and now if she did make it her life would be changed forever. If she got the surgery she would end up having to take pills for the rest of her life. I would always have to worry that her body could reject the organ at any time.

She had no idea what was going on, and that was a saving grace. At least she was still young enough that her pill regime would just become a habit for her, like getting dressed, and doing her hair. I sat down on a chair that was right next to her, and must have fallen asleep.

The next thing I remember was hearing Angela yelling, "Daddy!"

I opened my eyes to see Dylan, Alex and Tyrone coming into the room. They had actually got him to come down to visit her, I wondered what they had done, I didn't really care at that point.

"Dylan," I said.

"Hi, Emily," he replied.

"You came?"

"I didn't really have a choice in the matter."

"Daddy!" Angela exclaimed, bouncing up and down.

"Hi, Angela," he said, unsure of what to say.

"Daddy, look at Bear!" She held up the bear Alex had given her.

"That's a nice bear."

"A special bear!"

Alex laughed, when she heard her call it the special bear. I knew that it was awkward for him to be there, he hadn't seen her in months. But I was glad he was. I was also glad that Tyrone and Alex seemed to be staying.

"Have you already gone to get the tests done?" I asked them.

"Yeah, we've all done it, they say they should have all the results in by this evening," Alex replied.

"That soon?"

"I was surprised too."

Dylan had decided to stay the rest of the day. I asked Tyrone and Alex to stay as well. Alex had been with me in the beginning, and I wanted her to be there through the whole thing.

After the sun went down I was really starting to get nervous. Angela had fallen asleep, and despite I all, everyone said she was doing very well. When I saw Doctor Larson come in, I was relieved. I knew I might have an answer soon.

"Angela seems to have a big circles of support," he commented. "Emily, would you like everyone to stay?"

"Yes, please."

"I know Alex already, you are?" he asked Tyrone.

"Tyrone Davis, I'm friends with Emily," he replied.

"And you?" he asked Dylan.

"Dylan Mathews, Angela's father," he replied.

"Nice to meet you at long last." He looked through his chart. "I'm not going to stall this very long, there is only one match from who has been tested so far."

I hoped that it was going to be me. There wasn't even a question, I would have the surgery that day if it meant giving her a full life. I was so worried that Dylan would not feel the same, and I'd have to wait for another match.

"The only matching donor, who seems almost perfect, is you, Mr. Mathews."

"Me?" asked Dylan.

"Yes, you can have some time to think about everything, I'll give you all the information you'll need."

"How many have been tested?" I asked.

"About twenty five, and we have a few we'll have to do tomorrow."

"Twenty five?"

"Mostly NYPD and FDNY, you must have a lot of friends at work, both of you. Mr. Mathews if you'd like to come with me so I can explain all that the donation could entail."

"Of course."

The two of them left. I looked at Alex who was giving me a lopsided grin. I knew she had something to do with having so many people come down to see if they were matches. She hugged me.

"He'll do the right thing," she whispered in my ear.

"I hope so. Now how the hell did you two get so many people down here?"

Tyrone shrugged. "We just asked Carter and Kylie to work their magic."

I shook my head. "This is unbelievable."

"Despite everyone being afraid of you, Em, they all like you," Alex explained.

I laughed. "I'm nothing to fear."

"As my mother told me, child birth will make even the raunchiest firefighter fear you."

I shook my head. "I guess so."

"I think you should think about heading home while she's sleeping."

"It would probably be the least stressful for her huh?"

"Most probably."

"I'll give you a drive home," Tyrone offered.

"Thanks, I'd like that."

I had not left the hospital in two days. I needed to eat, and I needed to sleep. I hated to leave her while she slept. But she'd know what was going on. If she didn't calm the worst that would happen would be I'd get a call saying I needed to come back.

We were silent on the car ride to my place. I got out, and went into my apartment. It felt so empty with Angela not being there. I made myself a microwave dinner, and then got into the shower quickly. I barely made it into my bed before I was asleep. I was worried about her, but somehow I knew that it would all work out. I just hoped Dylan would surprise me and do the right thing.

end

end note: now you see why the parts have been mixed up on this run through, since obviously we have to know what happens to angela, soooo dylan is up next stay tuned!


	9. Dylan 2

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Dylan 2  
AUTHOR: trista groulx  
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language  
SUMMARY: Dylan, again, stil a candiate for the swine awards, but I'm working on that for Angela.  
AUTHORS NOTES: slightly less of a twisty plot today, but still a good one if you ask me, i really hope you're still digging what i'm trying here.. i hope to have kylie's part done soon, but tyrone's is just so much more fun (still a couple ppl ahead in line) then a fun fun special 3rd person epilogue so definatly stay tuned to third watch, the next generation! 

TIMELINE CLARFICATION! i figure this is needed... "more monsters" happened but nothing else in s6, ty and sasha didn't happen, i'll explain where tonia came from in the epilogue, alex only lived a few years in brooklyn before she moved to boston, again emily and charlie are the same age as everyone else (or em would have a 16 year disadvantage and that wouldn't work) joey is the same age as he should be going from the orignal timeline, charlie and tyrone were best friends growing up (thus emily grew up with him too), dylan has no orginal TW DNA, the whole thing with kylie getting sick and carlos finding his family did NOT happen, thus we have no knowledge of vangie's family, and carlos does not know the "real" story of his being put in foster care, for the sake of this story cause i can't seem to find the info the kenny's first adopted daughter will go by the name of "lynsey" from now on

on with the fic

It's official I hate Alex Doherty, how much more of a bitch can on person be? I've hardly had any interaction with the girl, and she feels the need to be the one to tell me what I need to shove where! I don't fucking think so! I mean I totally understand her getting all pissed off at me when "I got" her little boyfriend shot, but she had crossed the line. She actually got my partner, her little boy toy, to drive her over to my apartment, so she could tear a strip out of me.

I had just been happily sitting watching TV, when I heard a buzz at the door. I was very surprised to see my partner and his girlfriend standing at my door. I let them in, the place was a mess, but I didn't really care. I was a bachelor wasn't I supposed to live in a messy apartment?

"What's up?" I asked them.

"Have you got Emily's messages?" Tyrone asked me.

"You know I don't reply to those sorts of things."

He shrugged. "Well then, we're here to bring you over to the hospital."

"Why?"

"Because," replied Alex. "Your daughter needs you."

"What's going on?"

"She's in the hospital, is that not enough for you?"

I shrugged. "Not really."

"I can't believe you! Most men would be running out the door in a frenzy if they found out their daughter was in the hospital."

"Don't start all right?"

She glared at me. "Why shouldn't I start Dylan? Your child's mother leaves you messages saying that there is something wrong, and you don't even have the decency to call her back."

"I've been busy."

She looked around the apartment. "Sitting on your ass?"

"I don't need this!"

"And Emily doesn't need what she's going through either."

"It's not my problem!"

"Yes it is!"

"How do you figure?"

"She's your daughter!"

"I never asked for her you know?" She was getting pissed off and I could tell. "So what? Just cause you didn't want it doesn't mean it doesn't exist! Just because you won't acknowledge she's sick doesn't make it not so!"

"So what if she's sick, what can I do?"

"There's a lot of things you can do."

"I don't have time for this bullshit!"

"This is not bullshit, it's a matter of life and death!"

"Emily's such a drama queen, it's not that bad!"

"I don't want to be the one to tell you what's wrong with her, but I might have to."

I shrugged. "It can't be that important then!"

"You know what, Dylan, I think I've finally figured you out."

"Please, all knowing one, let me in on your fucking insight!"

"You are a scared little boy, who thinks that everyone will believe he's a man if he plays cops and robbers with the big boys!"

"Alex," Tyrone warned.

"And you're such a big girl, you need your boy toy to help you fight your battles! You're just as much a child as me."

Before I knew it she had punched me in the mouth. She had good upper hook, and I was actually bleeding, I couldn't believe it the little bitch had hit me! I wanted to hit her back, but not only did I suspect her fighting skills were good, but I really didn't want a beat down from my own partner.

"You're a fucking bitch!" I yelled at her.

"Is that supposed to scare me?" she demanded.

"I thought you were here about the kid not to beat me up."

"If it was up to me I'd rip your nuts off with my bare hands," she spat.

"What the hell do you have against me?"

"You're a deadbeat!"

"From what I hear so was your father!" '

She went to take a swing at me again, but Tyrone had stopped her.

"There's a difference between deadbeat and not all there yet!"

"I'm not a deadbeat!"

"How long has it been since you saw your daughter?"

"A few months."

"How much do you spend to support her."

"If Emily doesn't ask me for it how can I give it?"

"Why can't you two just try and act civilly to each other?" Tyrone asked, suddenly.

We looked at each other, and knew that neither of us could answer that. I knew that part of the reason I didn't like her was that I never got a chance with her. She had seen him and she zeroed in and got her claws in tight. Though I guess it was probably better that way, for me. I didn't need another girl trying to bog me down.

But she was my type, not Tyrone's. As soon as I saw her, I wanted her, but no Tyrone has to go play prince charming, swooping in and helping her fend off a reporter. It was probably for the best though, since we had a hate, hate thing going on especially after that day in the hospital. It certainly didn't seem like she was looking to make friends anytime soon. There was also something about her that made me know from the moment I saw her she would not deal with my bullshit. That scared me a lot, so I purposely tried to get under her skin so she would not try to figure me out.

"Look, Dylan," he said. "Angela is really sick, and need a kidney transplant."

"What can I do?"

Alex rolled her eyes. "You can see if you're a match!" she snapped.

"Why would I?"

"She's you're daughter, and if they don't find a good match, she could die." I could hardly believe it. I always thought I had so much time to make everything right with Angela. I just wasn't ready to be a dad just yet. I figured she'd still be there when I was ready, but that all changed in that split second. Two year olds are not supposed to die! I had had a plan, and it was coming apart at the seams.

"So what kind of tests do I need to do?"

"Some blood work, and an x-ray," Alex answered, seeming to be more calm.

"That's it?"

"Then the doctors see who are the best matches."

"Then what?"

"That all depends on if you're a match or not."

"What are we standing around for?"

I knew I had done a complete turn around on my attitude, and I was in shock. The child I never really wanted could die, and I felt like shit for not knowing her. I wasn't sure if I would be a match but, I wondered if donating a kidney would make up for all my bullshit. When we got to the hospital we all got tested, and then they brought me to her room. Emily was asleep in a chair. I couldn't tell if Angela was awake.

"Daddy!" I heard her exclaim.

"Shh," I tried to say.

"Daddy!" she yelled again.

Emily began to wake up, I knew she was probably surprised to see us there. She looked like shit. I wondered how long she had been there. She had been trying to get a hold of me for over a day, I wondered if she had even left the hospital at all since Angela was admitted.

"Dylan," she said.

"Hi Emily," I replied

She looked like she was happy, but confused to see me.

"You came?" she asked.

"I really didn't have a choice in the matter."

"Daddy!" Angela exclaimed again.

She was bouncing up and down in the hospital crib. I wasn't sure what to do. I was really surprised that she was so happy to see me. It had been months since she had last seen me, but she was ecstatic I was there. Though I never really showed her that I loved her at all, she seemed to love me a lot.

"Hi, Angela," I said, unsure of what else to say.

"Daddy look at bear!"

She held up a teddy bear, it looked pretty worn down, it must have been her favourite toys. I was a little disappointed that I didn't know for sure if it was her favourite, nor where it came from. I really didn't know a thing about my daughter. I realized though that if I started to pay attention to her right then maybe she wouldn't remember the time when I hadn't been in her life at all.

"That's a nice bear," I told her.

"A special bear," she seemed to corrected me.

There was just so much I didn't know about her. I didn't know why this bear was more special then any other teddy bear I had ever seen. I was so out of touch with her, and all she wanted way my attention. I had never really interacted with her, and I was just unsure of myself.

I heard Alex explain that they would have an answer that evening about who could donate the kidney. I was a little mad when Emily asked them to stay until we all found out, and part of me wanted to leave. I knew that was not such a good idea since I should be there when we found out, because I was, after all her father.

"Angela seems to have a big circles of support," he commented. "Emily, would you like everyone to stay?"

"Yes, please," she replied.

"I know Alex already, you are?" he asked Tyrone.

"Tyrone Davis, I'm friends with Emily," he replied.

"And you?" he asked me.

"Dylan Mathews, Angela's father," I replied.

"Nice to meet you at long last." He looked through his chart. "I'm not going to stall this very long, there is only one match from who has been tested so far."

I hoped that it was going to be Emily, I wasn't sure if I was ready to make the kind of sacrifice that organ transplant would entail.

"The only matching donor, who seems almost perfect, is you, Mr. Mathews."

"Me?" I heard myself say.

"Yes, you can have some time to think about everything, I'll give you all the information you'll need."

"How many have been tested?" Emily asked.

"About twenty five, and we have a few we'll have to do tomorrow."

"Twenty five?"

"Mostly NYPD and FDNY, you must have a lot of friends at work, both of you. Mr. Mathews if you'd like to come with me so I can explain all that the donation could entail."

"Of course."

I was could not believe what he had just said. I just followed him out the door. He had me follow him to a small office to speak to me. I just wasn't sure what I wanted to do. I wanted Angela to have life, but was I really ready to make that kind of sacrifice? I figured I'd get all the information I could first, then see what I could do.

"So, Mr. Mathews," the doctor started.

"Please call me Dylan," I said.

"All right Dylan, I'm Doctor Larson, I am the attending physician for your daughter, Angela."

"Yeah, I know that."

I didn't care about this man's life story all I wanted to know was what were the risks involved with the surgery.

"You seem to be a perfect match for your daughter, now this is a very big decision to make. I would imagine you'd like to know the risks involved, correct?"

"Yes."

"For you the risks are minimal, the only real worry is a slightly shorter life span."

"Only the good die young, Doc, and I ain't good." I joked.

He laughed. "All right. Now right after surgery of course you're not going to be able to eat solid food for a couple of days. After that you should be able to return to your regular diet, we just like that you try to keep healthy."

"What about work?"

"You're with the NYPD I would say you'd need to take about two months off just to be absolutely sure that everything is properly healed and that anything you would do in the line of duty would not re-aggravate the surgery sight."

"All right, and what happens if I don't do this?"

"We're going to keep looking for donors of course. But you are the best match because you have such similar genetic material to your daughter. Her body is less likely to reject your organ as apposed to a stranger's Also since it is rather rare to find a match in an adult, because the kidney size is very important, it would be more likely to be a non-living donation. With a non-living donation the risk factors are much higher, especially in a child your daughter's age. Not just in the body rejecting the organ, but also because the organ may not function properly."

"Really, that can happen?"

"With a kidney it tends to happen more often that the organ does not begin to function, thus the patient must remain on dialysis until it functions, or another donor can be found. Which is just further confusion for someone as young as Angela."

"So what about Angela after this?"

"She will need to be on anti-rejection drugs. The advantage of a blood relative is that she will need slightly less drugs then if a stranger had donated. One of the few advantages to her age is that all the percussions she will have to follow after surgery will become second nature to her through out her life, so she will not have a difficult adjustment stage like an older child or adult who has a transplant. She will not understand what really happened, all she will know is that she will have to do certain things because of it."

"Like what kinds of things?"

"Along with being on the anti-rejection drugs the rest of her life, we advise that she stays on a strict balanced diet as much as possible. That is usually the hardest part for a person who has had an organ transplanted, but for her it will just be the way she's always had to eat."

"What is the success rate on this sort of operation?"

"If you are the donor there is a ninety percent success rate, which is one of the highest rates of success in organ transplantation. The percent drops as you go through the factors I've already stated, of course. But I would hope that as her father you will be able to do this for your daughter."

I nodded, it would be the first thing I'd do for my little girl, and I almost felt obligated to do it for her. I had always thought I had all the time in the world to get to know her, but now I realized just how fragile life is. She hadn't even had a chance to live and she was faced with such a harsh reality.

"What are the chances of her surviving without the transplant?" I asked.

"She can do it, many people live on dialysis for years before the transplantation becomes a necessity, and she could do it. However because of her age we prefer to rush the operation so that she can lead a full and happy childhood."

"All right."

"I don't expect you to make a decision in my office today, Angela is in very stable condition, we just want to get the process underway as soon as possible so she does not have to live her life like this for too long."

"I understand."

"I'm going to give you some brochures, and even book suggestions so you can do all the research you feel you have to, before making the decision. When you decide just call me and make an appointment."

"Does Emily have to be here?"

"Oh! Of course not! This is your choice, and no one else's, whatever you decide is just that. If you tell me any excuse I am not allowed to share that with her, so this is all very confidential."

"Thank you."

"You are a very healthy young man, and I feel that this surgery would hardly even slow you, but if you don't want to do it, I, nor anyone else, can force you to, so please remember that."

He handed me a stack of papers, then shook my hand. I left the office, and went back to Angela's room. I was surprised to find Emily had gone. I had wanted to talk to her. Angela was asleep, snuggled up to the teddy bear she had shown me earlier. I looked at her, she looked so helpless and small.

The last time I had watched her sleeping was in the hospital just after she was born. I still remembered how shocked I was when I saw her the first time. I could not believe that that little life was partly mine to nurture. I crumbled under that pressure, and hardly saw her at all.

It wasn't that I never wanted kids, I just wasn't ready for them when she came into my life. I always figured I'd have all the time in the world with her, but this incident proved that she could be taken away quiet easily. I hardly knew her, but I could still up losing her, the person who was supposed to be most precious to me.

I knew that if something happened to her Emily would be inconsolable, and I also knew that I would not be able to deal with that. How was it fair that a kid her age had to go through something so grown up?

I was terrified of surgery, and I had an even better chance of recovery then she did! The only reason I was glad she was so young was because she really didn't really understand the gravity of the situation.

All she knew was that she was in the hospital, and that everyone kept saying big words around her. She probably didn't understand why it was she could not go home with her mother, but having her bear there made everything somehow better.  
I looked at her in amazement, this was a life I had helped to create, and now I was her best hope of continuing to live. This child would have to rely on me when I never even had the decency to be there for her. If she had woken up at that moment she would be ecstatic that I was there, and would not ask me where I had been. She' just be happy to see her daddy.

Not that I was much of a father. I certainly wasn't going to win any father of the year awards. Alex had been right, I was a deadbeat, who had never been giving a reason to try for his daughter, but now I had a good reason to want to try. I was going to lose her without ever knowing her if I didn't do something.

As soon as I saw her, I knew that all my fears just didn't matter. All that mattered was this little girl. If I could give my life for her at that moment I would. For the first time since she had been on this Earth, I had realized that being a parent was more then just playing with her, but sacrificing a part of myself for her benefit.  
I wanted so much to tell Emily about my revelation, and as much as I wanted to go shout my new found love for my daughter from the rooftops, my feet were planted in that room. I just wanted to stare at her, and memorize everything about her, just in case.

My legs seemed to take on a life of their own, and went toward her. I wanted so much to pick her up, and hold her, and tell her Daddy was finally here to make it better. But I knew better then to wake her, she would probably never get back to sleep if I woke her. I leaned down, and kissed her lightly on the cheek. She flinched, my breath caught, thinking I had just woken her up, but her eyes didn't open, and she didn't move again.

That was the first time I had been close enough to her to smell her. I had heard about the baby smell before, but I hadn't really understood it. To me baby smell came from a dirty diaper, and though she was getting older I realized that day what that distinct smell was.

I only wished I had been able to smell it on her from day one, but that was not the way it had worked for me, like it had for so many others. I had chosen to miss that among many other things. It was my own selfishness and foolishness that made me miss out on so much, and I wasn't going to do it again.

I wanted to see everything else in her life I could. I wanted to be there when she opened her eyes from surgery. I wanted to be there when she got to return home. I wanted to be there for her next birthday. When was her next birthday? I wanted to look at every picture ever taken of her, to see how she had changed, even if it wasn't the same.

After that day in the hospital bed I wanted to use all my senses to experience her life with her. In almost a split second I was a changed man. I leaned against the bar of her crib, staring at her for a long moment, never wanting to leave, never wanting to forget what I was feeling and thinking at that moment.

"I'm going to be different from now on," I whispered. "I promise, Angela, I'll be different, and I'll be your Daddy from now on." I heard the door open, and looked behind me to see a nurse.

"Excuse me, Sir, what are you doing in here?" she asked.

"I'm visiting my daughter," I explained.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I had never seen you before."

I nodded. "It's all right, how late can I stay?"

"As late as you'd like."

I nodded. The nurse did a quick check on her, and then left me alone in the room with her again. The nurse good looking, and normally I would have hit on her, but it didn't seem appropriate. Maybe I was finally growing up, and Alex had not been to far off base when she called me a little boy playing in a man's world. I wanted to be a man, I just needed to learn how. I figured doing the right thing for my little girl would be a good first step. I sat down on a chair, and soon fell asleep.  
When I woke up I momentarily forgot where I was. Then it all came back to me, I had fallen asleep at the hospital, while visiting my daughter. I was just about to leave when Emily walked in, she looked surprised to see me.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me.

"I fell asleep last night," I replied.

"Oh."

"I'm going over to the doctor to tell him that I'll donate my kidney."

"Really? That's great!"

She then hugged me. I knew she was happy that I had finally done something for our daughter. I should have done so much more so much sooner, but I thought this was a good start. It would show everyone just how much I cared. The real challenge would be after, when I had to keep my promise to see her more often.

I wanted to be active in her life from that moment on. She was going to be my whole world, just like she should have been from the first moment she entered she entered the world. It didn't matter that I wasn't ready to be a father, or that I didn't really want to be one, I was one, and I had to play the part.

I knew that I was going to have a lot of trouble making up for lost time with her. I hardly knew a thing about her. I knew her name, and her approximate age. She's my kid and I couldn't even tell people when she was born. I didn't know what she liked to do, or what her favourite colour was. These are things a father is supposed to know, but I never even tried to learn them about her.

"Emily, I'm sorry I haven't been there for you both," I told her.

She nodded. "I guess you had your reasons," she replied.

"They were stupid. Her getting sick really opened my eyes. I may not have all the time in the world to make things up to her. She could be gone tomorrow. I know it's too late now, but I want to be in her life."

"It's never too late."

I smiled at her. "Once she's out of here, I'm going to see her on a regular basis. I want to be a good dad, but I'm going to need help."

"I know. It's hard, but you'll get used to being there for her."

"What about us?"

She looked at the floor. "There is no us."

I leaned in to kiss her, and she did not pull away. I placed my lips on hers, and she was the one who deepened the kiss. I wrapped my arms around her waist, to bring her close. I always knew what she needed. We kissed for a long moment. I heard the door open, but I didn't care who was there.

"Emily!" I heard her a female yell.

We broke the kiss, and I looked in the doorway. Standing there was a woman I could only assume was her mother, with another guy, maybe her step father. That was my cue to leave. "I gotta go," I mumbled.

It was funny that we had a child together and I had never actually met her mother. I knew she knew what I looked like and who I was but, we had never actually met. Emily and I never really had the kind of relationship where things like our families came up. I knew that her parents were divorced, and both her parents were remarried. I knew she had a brother, too. But that was about all we knew.

We didn't know a thing about each other, which was pretty sad considering we had a child together. But I was not one for getting serious, so the less I knew about a girl the better it was.

I slipped out the door. I knew her mother and stepfather were ex cops, and I was lucky I didn't get an ass kicking as I left. I disappeared down the hallway to find the doctor from the day before, to tell him that I did want to go ahead and have the surgery.  
--

It was the day of the surgery. No one seemed to believe that I was going through with it. I was going to prove to all of them that I had changed, and I would be there for my daughter. I was still going to be myself after, I would just admit that I had a kid. I hated not being able to eat or drink anything before the surgery, but that's what the doctors had said I had to do.  
I knew all the risks that were involved in the surgery, and I didn't care. I wanted to do something for Angela, and since this was so important, I thought this was a good place to start. I got dressed, and went right to the hospital.

The first thing I did when I got there was go see Angela. When I got to her room, there were a lot of people there. I knew Emily, Alex, Tyrone, Emily's mother, and Bosco. There was a bald guy, and younger balding guy, who I had never met before, and one of the nurses from the emergency room was there.

"Daddy!" Angela exclaimed.

"Hi, Kiddo, you ready?" I asked her.

"No, I'm scared," she told me.

"I'm not."

"Me neither." It flowed into one word.

I was lying through my teeth, and I'm sure everyone else in the room knew it. I was terrified about the surgery. I had never had an operation before. I had been in the hospital for casts and things, but I had never had any kind of surgery. I realized that I was really lucky, especially considering my line of work, but those were the breaks.

Alex and Tyrone were kind of in the corner making googley eyes at each other. I didn't really know why they were always there. I hated having to be in the same room as Alex, I had not forgiven her for giving me shit, even if a lot of what she had said was true.

"So you're Dylan," the older guy said. "I'm Emily's father."

I put my hand out. "Nice to meet you, Mr. Yokas."

"Yeah." He grunted.

All right, so he hated me for no reason. Okay, he probably had damn good reason. I had gotten his daughter pregnant, and until that day had done absolutely nothing for the kid. The other guy came up to me.

"I'm Emily's brother Charlie," he said, shaking my hand.

"I'm Dylan Mathews, as I'm sure you know."

He nodded, then walked away. I assumed that he was married to the nurse I had recognized. Doctor Larson came in.

"Good, Dylan, you're here, I'm going to have to get you to sign in, and then get you prepped for surgery." "All right."

I kissed Angela on the cheek, then left the room, to go get signed in, and ready for surgery. It was not hard process, just some paper work to sign. A nurse then showed me to a room, where she handed me a gown. She left and I go changed. I then laid down on stretcher. Doctor Larson came in.

"You ready?" he asked me.

"Ready as I'll ever be," I replied.

"Then I'll see you after surgery."

He left me with another nurse, who soon gave me a needle. I felt my eyelids get heavy, and I was out. The next thing I remember is being very groggy, and very sore. It was as if I had closed my eyes to blink, and when I opened them again, it was all over. I saw a nurse.

"How's Angela?" I croaked.

"She's not up yet, but from what we can tell the surgery was a success," she replied. "Now that you're awake I'm going to get you into your room. We've decided to put you and Angela in the same room, since you'll both have the same visitors. As soon as she wakes up, we'll bring her in too."

"So I should expect all the attention to leave me as soon as I go in?"

She shook her head. "Your girlfriend warned me about you."

"Not my girlfriend."

"Let's just get you moved out of here."

She wheeled me through a hallway, into an elevator, then into a room. It wasn't long before Emily and Tyrone came in. She smiled at me, and I smiled back. We hadn't really talked since we had kissed, so I was a bit curious about what might be going on with us. Not that I wasn't playing the field. If I could get a couple of nurses numbers for being a good guy who donated a kidney to my daughter, I would.

"Should I leave you two alone?" Tyrone asked.

"Hardly," said Emily. "I can't believe you did this," she whispered.

"It was about time I did something for her."

She nodded. "So they said she was all right, right?"

"Yes, they'll bring her in here as soon as she wakes up."

"Good."

"So I'm really stuck with Kylie for a while," Tyrone laughed.

I laughed, but it hurt. "You sound like me."

"That was the point."

"I know."

We didn't really have much of anything to say. I was a little groggy, still but I wanted to stay up at least until Angela came into the room. I wanted to see for my own two eyes that she really was all right.

I had finally started to care about what could happen to my daughter. It had only taken me two and a half years, but I finally understood why some guys actually liked being fathers.

It was pretty pathetic that it was something as drastic as surgery which made me realize just how precious she was. But I was going to spend more time with her once we were both recovered. I was going to prove to everyone that I could be a father, no matter how hard it was.

I had made a huge sacrifice for her, and because of that everyone seemed to soften around me. They didn't look at me as if was a deadbeat. Even Alex seemed to have gone a little more soft on me, but I knew she'd kick my ass if she ever found out I was up to my old tricks.

She joined us in the room a few minutes later. She smiled at me, a real smile. She then wrapped her arms around Tyrone, and whispered something in his ear. They soon left, and Emily's mother, father and step father came in. They didn't seem overly interested in me, which must mean that Angela was going to be joining us.

A few minute later the door opened, and a nurse was wheeling Angela in, Doctor Larson was behind them. I could see even from across the room that Emily had relaxed considerably, now that she saw with her own two eyes that her daughter really was all right. I looked at her, and for a moment her eyes caught mine, she smiled at me as if she was thanking me for returning her angel.

I still remembered how excited she had been when she found out she was pregnant. I was terrified, then I was excited, and then I was terrified again, especially after she was born. I had visited Emily in the hospital just after the baby was born.  
She told me that day how much of a miracle she was, and that she had decided to name her Angela because she was an angel. I had promised that day that I would be there for then on. I hadn't really been there during the pregnancy, so I figured I'd be there for her life.

It took me two years, but I was finally plugged in. The reason I hadn't really done anything before was I never really felt any kind of connection. When I went to look at my daughter for the first time, I didn't even know which one could be mine. They all looked the same. Even after I found her, she didn't seem any different from all the other babies who were laying in the bassinettes.

Then I started to think, and over think the whole situation. Not only did I not see her as anything but a little shit machine, but also saw her as something I would have to throw money at. I got out of the hospital as fast I could, without looking back. The only times I had gone to visit, or had given the money was when Emily had hounded me and I got sick of hearing it.

But now, as I saw her coming into the room in her hospital crib, I felt like I was looking at my daughter. I finally felt the connection with her I had only ever been told about. She was my daughter, and I had not only helped create her, but I had helped keep her on this Earth. That was a high nothing could top, and I knew I wanted to be in her life, so I could feel that good more often.

Soon everyone was crowded around her, staring in wonder, glad to see that she had made it though the surgery. She was still in a danger zone, but at least she made it through the surgery well, that was the first real hurtle she had to jump.

"So would you like an update?" Doctor Larson asked.

We all just nodded, I knew that my heart was in my throat and I was unable to speak.

"As you know, we're not out of the woods yet, but we are getting there. Angela has made it through the surgery like the trooper she is. The organ is functioning in her body, which is excellent news, of course. Her body still has a chance of rejecting the organ, as you all know, so it is imperative that she takes her medication, until she's out of the hospital that's relatively easy, and then it becomes a challenge. Just try not to get her excited, she's still extremely groggy from the surgery, and if she moves too much she may drop some of her stitches, and we don't want that. But I'll leave you alone."

He left the room. Emily was now over the crib, staring at her. I could tell she was crying. I wished someone would say something to me, but Angela was the star.

"Mommy?" she whispered.

"Stay calm, baby," Emily whispered back.

I wanted so much to see the expression on Angela's face. Emily looked over at me, and I will never forget the face she made at me. It was of pure joy, probably similar to the one she had made when she first held Angela. I had missed so much of my daughter's life already, I didn't want to miss another moment.

"You were so good for the doctors," she told Angela, I could see she was stroking her hair. "You were such a brave girl, Angela."

"Like Mommy and Daddy?"

I could feel the tears running down my face. I hoped no one would look over, and realize that under it all I was just a big softie.

"Yes, like Mommy and Daddy," I heard Emily say.

If I was so brave why couldn't I have been there for her whole life? I was brave when it came to being a goon, but I was not brave when it came to being a man. I was going to change that. I wanted to hear more of what was going on, but it was impossible for me to keep my eyes open.

I woke up a few hours later, to the sensation of someone running their hands through my hear. I opened my eyes, and was surprised to see that Emily was the one who was touching me.

"Emily?" I asked.

She smiled at me, her eyes full of tears. "Thank you," she whispered.

"No, Emily, thank you for making that wonderful little girl."

She took my hand. "You saved her."

"Maybe, but I was just making up for lost time with her."

"Dylan, why didn't you do anything for her before?"

"I just wasn't ready. I thought I had all kinds of time with her. Then she got sick, and I realized, she could be gone, and if she had she would have never known me. I don't want that for her. So I did what I had to, to try and make it so that she could be in this world just a little longer."

"She's amazing isn't she?"

"She really is. I don't know how she didn't just go crazy being here all that time."

"She doesn't really understand everything still."

"She knew she was away from her home, and her toys, and that's enough to make anyone on edge."

She nodded. "You have a point. We made a very special little girl."

"We did."

She kissed my hand. "I love you."

"I love you."

I didn't really mean it, thought. I felt horrible as soon as I said it. I was leading her on again, and I didn't want to do that. She caressed the inside of my hand, and I didn't stop her. I never stopped it, and then I'd wake up scared, and have to leave when it was all over. I could feel her hand in mine as I fell asleep, and try as I might to pull away, I simply couldn't.  
--

It had been two months since the operation. Since then I had been seeing more of Angela. I would take the same days off as Emily so that I could go over to see her for a few hours. I still wasn't ready to have her over at my place, yet. She was still on so many pills and a special diet, and I didn't trust myself to lay down the law about what she needed.

Emily and I had not been particularly close since I had been in the hospital. She was mostly just glad that I had decided to take an active role in our daughter's life. I hated the fact that the only thing that had made me give a shit was that she had almost died. I was happy to get every day with her, I never realized before it would be just as easy to lose her as anyone else.

I was on my way over to visit them. Angela was always excited when she saw me. I guess she thought that I might start not coming by again, and she did not let me out of her sight the entire time I was there. I knocked on the door, and Emily let me in. Angela was playing on her rocking horse. Upon seeing me, she jumped off of it, and came running toward me.

"Daddy!" she exclaimed, finally stopping when she hit my leg, and had wrapped herself around it.

I leaned down to pick her up. "I miss you too Angela."

It always baffled me as to why Emily insisted she be called by her full name by everyone but her step father. I didn't really question it though, it was her choice. I had lost my voice when I had decided not to take responsibility for my daughter right away.

I actually looked forward to my time with her. I think Emily was just glad for the break. She would often clean up, or just relax while I played with her.

I wanted to talk to her about what had happened in the hospital, but every time I tried to explain the words just would not come out of my mouth.

I did love Emily, but not in the way she wanted me to. I loved her because she had given birth to my daughter, and despite my short comings had let me take my time to be in her life. Most people would not do that, but Emily was a very special person.

"Would you like some coffee?" she asked me.

"No, I'm all right, thank you," I replied.

I figured that if she was starting to teach Angela about manners, I should try and have some around them. She disappeared into the kitchen for a moment, and came back out with a mug in her hand.

"Mommy?" Angela said.

"Yes, Sweetie," she replied.

"Can we go to the park?"

"What about Daddy?"

"All of us, please Mommy?"

"All right."

Emily set the mug down, knowing she didn't have time for coffee anymore. She helped Angela into her shoes, and before long we were on our way to the park. We looked like a real family. Emily and I on either side of Angela holding her hands, as we walked down the street. We were getting up to a curb, and I glanced at Emily, I knew she was thinking the same thing.

"Hold on tight," she said to Angela.

"One… two… three…" I said.

Angela squeezed my hand tighter, and we gently swung her over the curb. She was giggling like crazy, when we set her back down.

"Again!" she cried.

We got to the other side of the street then repeated the process. I couldn't believe it was the first time she had had that done to her. I used love that when I was a kid. I wanted to be up in the air between my parents all the time.

Angela was still giggling as we continued walking, I caught Emily's eye, and she just smiled at me. There was something more in the smile, and I smiled back. It was nice when we were able to get along for the sake of our little girl. Before long we were at the park, and Angela had made us let go of her hands, and had run off to go play. Emily and I sat next to each other on a bench, both keeping close watch of our daughter.

"This is nice, huh?" I asked her.

"Yeah, it is," she replied.

"We should do this more often."

"Angela would love it."

I smiled at her. "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Would you like it if we could do this more often?"

She shrugged. "Sure, I would. But that's not really an option with us now is it?"

"It could be?"

She shook her head. 'I know you Dylan, you would promise me the moon to get what you want."

"I want you, me and Angela to be a family."

"That ship has long since sail, Dylan. Besides, you're not ready to be a full time father, and you're certainly not ready to be a husband."

"Would you have thought three months ago that I'd be sitting here with you, watching her play at the park?"

"I wished that you would be, but I never held out hope."

"What changed?"

"You know exactly what happened to change it. You realized that our daughter, and yourself were mortal, and that you really didn't have all the time you may have wanted with her."

I shrugged, knowing she had a point. "But I'm still here aren't I?"

"I don't want another tragedy to bring us together."

I leaned over to kiss her, but she pulled away. "What's wrong?" I asked.

"This, us, it's wrong. We have proven that time and time again, Dylan. I'm tired of it, I can't keep going on like this." "Like what?"

"Pretending that what you're telling me is the actual truth this time. Instead of lies to get me back in bed with you."

"You know you are more then that to me Emily."

"No, Dylan, I don't. You have a pretty good track record of letting me wake up alone, after promising me you'd always be there to wake up next to."

"I can change."

"Anyone can change, but I don't think you want to change."

That hurt, but maybe she had a point. I understood that I didn't have the best history with her, but I could be serious that time. I could wake up in the middle of the night, and roll back to sleep, instead of running out as fast I could. I wanted every time before to be different, to wake up and be with her again. To wake up, and be there for Angela again, it just didn't end up working out that way. Something would always wake me up, and I would always have to leave.

"Things are good for Angela right now," she told me. "I don't want to screw that up."

"Are you saying that if we got back together I'd stop seeing Angela?" I asked.

"You could, and I'm not willing to take the risk. My daughter just found her father, I am not doing anything that may make her lose him again."

I knew that she was right, but a part of me wanted to prove to her that I could be good for them. It wasn't as if I was raised to not live up to my responsibilities, but there was this part of me that just had to leave as soon as things got serious. I loved my daughter with all my heart, I always have, but I was only recently able to be there for her. In a way I loved Emily, but I was terrified to commit myself to her.

I liked watching my daughter playing. She seemed to be having a lot of fun, even by herself. Another little girl about her age joined her shortly after, and for some reason the child looked very familiar. I couldn't really figure it out, so I decided it must not be important. Then I saw a woman, I knew I knew, who was the little girl's mother. We had dated until I found out she had a kid the same age as mine.

"Dylan, Dylan Mathews?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I replied, sheepishly, wishing I could have ran away.

"Who's this?"

"My uh- girlfriend?"

Emily shot me a nasty look, but didn't say anything.

"So what, Dylan, you run like a bat out of hell when you find out about my daughter, but you play house with your new girlfriend?" she demanded.

"We're not playing house, he's not even my boyfriend," Emily snapped.

"Did I ask you?"

"If you don't want my opinion don't include me or my daughter in your argument."

"I just hope you know what you're getting into with him."

"I'm not getting into anything, so don't you try and warn me about him. Let me guess he promised to bring you to the moon and back, until he found out you had a child."

"How did you know?"

"I dated him, and had a child with him."

She backed off after that. I was kind of annoyed with Emily, but she had gotten her to go away. We sat in silence on the bench for a long moment.

"That's why I'd never date you again," she stated.

"What?" I asked.

"You would never not look elsewhere."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"I saw the way you looked at her before you realized who she was. If I hadn't been here you probably would have tried to patch things up between the two of you."

"Whatever."

"I don't delude myself into thinking I'm the only person you keep trying to get back with."

I decided it was better not to argue with her, she looked very pissed off because of the encounter. I just watched as our daughter played, still with the same little girl. We were there about an hour before Angela started complaining she was hungry. We went back to Emily's, and had lunch. Then Angela went down for her nap. Which was usually when I would leave. But that day I wanted to talk to Emily.

"Look, Emily, about that woman today," I said.

"You don't have to explain anything to me. I know what you are Dylan. Right now I am just happy that you are there for our daughter. I told you already I am not about to do anything to jeopardize that, all right?"

"It could be different this time."

"And it could be the same."

"I'd still want to see Angela, that surgery really woke me up, Emily."

"I know that, but what if I were to tell you that if you left one more time I would not want you to see Angela anymore?"

I felt like I was shot, I was so taken aback by her words. If I wanted to be with Emily again, and I couldn't do right by her then I'd never see my daughter again. That was not something I was willing to risk, not until I knew for sure that Emily was really who I wanted.

"I need to go," I whispered.

"Yeah," she agreed.

I slipped out of the apartment, and then went home. I could hardly believe that I was going to have chose between them. I knew I was not ready to spend the rest of my life with one person. I also knew that there was a part of me that wanted Emily. Was the part of me that loved Angela more important then the part that didn't want Emily to stray far? Logically I knew what the answer should be, but I wasn't sure that my heart agreed.

I loved my daughter so much, and I knew I didn't want to do anything that might make me loose her, but would I really be able to keep my hands off of Emily for her? I hoped I could, but I trusted myself around her as much as she did.  
I knew was beginning to crawl out of the hole I had been wallowing in, but I did not know how long it would last. Even though I now involved myself with my daughter's life, I was still, essentially, the same person I had always had been, and that person really liked the ladies. I guess that only time will change me, and I was starting to hope it would be for the better.

end

end notes: he went to the wizard of Oz and got a brain tear well no, but he has a heart and brain now! yay! i rally hope you liked the conslusion to this little cliffhanger, up next would be kylie, hopefully that'll be a barrel of monkeys so please stay tuned and give me a shout if you're still reading this fic! please please i wanna know that i'm not writing this for myself


	10. Kylie 2

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Kylie 2   
AUTHOR: trista groulx  
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language  
SUMMARY: This is Kylie again, I'm gonna tell you about something that change my life this time 'round.  
AUTHORS NOTES: a kinda cliche plot twist on this one, i think i did it justice, pls pls pls tell me what you think i'm really worried i'm writing these just for my own sake i really wanna know if you're digging the new ones! wow i'm getting close to the end here tear only carter, tyrone and my epilouge left and then i'm done with this fic...  
TIMELINE: in lieu of the the series finale i'll tack this one again, 'cept more monsters didn't happen... faith was promoted to a detective at some point tho, ty worked up the ranks but not the thru anti-crime, holly and carlos got together in a different way, and obviously the station wasn't ambushed and moved off the corner of king and arthur and i still where it was next to the firehouse...

I could hardly believe that I had been called back to that school. I had hardly talked to my old friend since I had taken down the original report. But as soon as I heard the twins names I remembered who she was. I really had meant to keep in contact with. It was hard though, with my work schedule and her being in one of the shelter's programmes being forced to move around a lot, to keep the family safe it was really hard.

Since Dylan had been back I had pretty much only been doing these kinds of calls. I was not complaining, I liked helping people out. It was a nice change while he had been recovering to do real rough and tumble police work, but I was just as happy dealing with families.

I pulled up to the school, and recognized it immediately, I went right up to the office, where I was confronted with a similar scene to when I had last been there. A man yelling at the secretary demanding to have his children.

"Hey!" I yelled. "I told you already, if you're gonna scream at anyone you better scream at me!"

"Officer Kenny!" he snarled at me. "I know you're friends with my wife, and you did something so that I could not see my kids!"

"I told, you already, Mr. Russell, that this had nothing to do with your wife."

"Bullshit!"

"It's a New York law, ask Miss," I looked at the name plate, "Brown, about the law if you don't believe me."

"I just want to see my fucking kids!"

"You're not going to see them here, today."

"Why not?"

"Even if there was not an order against it, that I am here to enforce, no one here would let you see your children while you were this angry."

"I would not be angry if they would just let me see my kids."

"You know, we can't let you do that."

"It's stupid, she gets to see them all the time!" He had his hand in his pocket, and I was worried he may pull something out.

"She still cannot take them out of school early. The only way your children leave this building at a different time, not with their peers, is if there is verification from both parents that children are allowed to leave."

"It's stupid!"

"It's to keep your children safe."

"Like hell it is! It's to keep me away from them!"

"Mr. Russell, that is not the point of this law. The point of this law is to stop child abductions in this state. Both parents can pose that threat, and the easiest place to take a child from is school. We just make that process a lot harder."

"It's all a bunch of bullshit!"

"Weather it is or it isn't, is not my place to say, but my job today is to enforce this particular law."

He pulled a knife out of his pocket. "And how are you going to stop me?"

I pulled out my gun, and the secretary shrieked in horror.

"I would venture to guess that, this," I waved my gun in the air, "may just stop you."

"Big girl and her gun, likes to show who wears the pants!"

I had a funny feeling he was intoxicated. I walked closer to him, my gun drawn, and he dropped the knife.

"Put your hands behind your back," I instructed him.

He did as he was told, and I easily handcuffed him. I could tell as soon as I was close, that he had been drinking. I read him his Miranda rights, and then led him out of the school.

I got to the station, and put him into one of the cells. I didn't want to charge him with anything, because any charges would not have stuck because of his inebriated state. I told them just to hold him until he was sobered up. He was in the cell, looking pathetic.

"Come on Officer Kenny," he begged.

"I have already given you the smallest slap on the wrist. You are stuck here until you have sobered up. I'm not going to charge you with attempted kidnapping, or threatening a police officer."

"Oh, how nice of you."

"I could, if you keep it up."

He glared at me. "I just want to see my kids."

"I told you the conditions of taking them out of school."

"My wife doesn't let me see them without supervision. Just cause the court recommended it, doesn't mean she has to listen."

"Actually, she does."

He shrugged. "Whatever, I'm going to see them."

"If you go back to that school, without the proper paperwork, and I am called back, you will be charged with attempted kidnapping."

"I don't believe you."

"It seems I'm going to have to tell you more about the child protective laws. On the third attempt at taking the children from the school, it is considered attempted kidnapping, and there is jail time attached with it. You have already been warned twice of the conditions of taking your children out of the school, so on the third attempt there is simply no excuse."

"How am I supposed to see my kids?"

"That is between you and your wife, Sir."

He shook his head. "Do you have kids Officer?"

"No, I do not."

"Then you wouldn't understand."

I shook my head. "I see a lot of cases, and have heard all the excuses in the book. But remember the more you try to take them without permission the longer you will be without them."

"Excuse me?"

"If you just did as the courts said, then you may not be a risk to your children."

"You just can't understand."

"I recently saw a man who could not even tell you his daughter's age donate a kidney to her, so I can understand what kind of a bond a father can have with his children."

"So how can I get them back in my life?"

"You know the answer to that, you just need to find the truth within yourself."

I was sure he was not a bad person, he was an alcoholic, and he could change his life. I would never advise my friend to go back to him, but he could be good for his children. If Mathews could be right for his daughter, anyone could do it, I had recently began to believe. I had been more surprised then I ever had when I learned that Mathews had donated the organ.

I then left, to call Kirstyn to tell her what had transpired. When I tried the numbers she had left me they had been disconnected. I decided to call the shelter, but they told me I would have to come down to talk to them about that case, as they were having a lot of problems with the man I now had in custody.

Maybe it wouldn't be as easy as I had thought for him to be able to see his children. I drove to the shelter, and when I got there I immediately recognized my old friend, who was sweeping the floor. I smiled at her, and she came running.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Nothing, he just tried to pick the kids up at school again," I replied.

"Great, this is just fucking great!"

"You've been having some problems with him?"

"Some problems?" She put down the broom. "That's an understatement Kylie."

"Wanna talk about it?" I offered.

"Sure, come with me. I'll finish that later. I like to help out around here, they do so much for me, and ask for next to nothing in return."

I nodded. "This is one of the better places, you're lucky to have found a spot here."

"They're great, they've found me three homes already, but he somehow finds out where we live, and we end up here, and moved again."

"I figured something was up when I caught the we, can't talk unless it's face to face talk."

"Yeah, he's gotten a girlfriend to call and pretend she's NYPD, so they don't like to give any kind of information out over the phone."

"That's pretty serious."

She had brought me to a small room, with three beds. "Yeah, it is. So this is our temporary home till we can find a new apartment. There's days where I just think that nowhere else is safe."

"How does he find out?"

"He must follow the case worker when she drops them back home. He is not allowed to be alone with them, they're terrified that he's going to take off with them."

"What if you get her to drop them here first?"

"I'm considering it, so he went to the school?"

"Yeah."

She began to cry. "Sometimes I wonder if they're safe at all."

"They're safe right now, he's in a holding cell, till he's sobered up."

"If he'd just stop drinking, maybe then things would be different."

"Probably, he really does seem to love them."

"He does, they're his world. He just can't accept the fact that he is not allowed to have them all time."

I nodded. "If it'll make you feel better, today I'll pick them up from school, and drop them here."

"You wouldn't mind?"

"If I feel it's necessary it's my job. Even if he's locked up, I just don't trust that he won't have someone try something. I am the only person authorized to take them from the school grounds earlier, as you know, so I'll just use that right, that's why it's been worked into the legislation."

"Do you really think it's necessary?"

"Although his heart is in the right place, wanting to see his children. His mind is not, and he'd go to just about any length to see them."

"He wasn't always like this." She was looking at her hands.

"I'm sure he wasn't, but as long as he is you can't have anything to do with him."

"I know, the meetings I go to here really help with reminding me why. I'm so glad you made me listen that day."

"It's my job."

"I'm sure you're not that persistent with everyone."

I nodded. "If I make it through the front door I really try."

"Why?"

"As I said it's my job."

She shook her head. "No, your job should be catching murders and thieves, not trying to convince women to not be punching bags, and show them their legal options. It certainly should not be watching out for someone else's children.

"It has to be someone's job, and I like it, so I do it."

She smiled. "I guess so."

"I didn't become a police officer for glory, I wanted to help people. I really like making sure that families, and especially kids are safe."

"It seems like a cause for you."

I shrugged. "I don't know, I guess it was because I was adopted, and lucked out with my family that I want everyone to have that kind of life."

"That makes sense."

"I just want to make a difference, and most of the time going into a hostile situation with your gun raised is not the best way to go about it. I like what I'm doing with this programme and I'll continue doing it until I don't like it anymore."

She shrugged. "Isn't it hard to see all the hardship some days?"

"Yeah, but then I get cases like yours where things would have been far worse if I hadn't stepped in. That's what makes it all worth it I guess."

"I could never do it."

"It's not for everyone."

She nodded. "I'm glad you chose to do it though. I would have been lost had you not been there to help me. I don't even want to think of what could have happened to me, or worse my kids, if I hadn't listened."

"Trust me it's not a pretty sight sometimes."

"Am I keeping you from any important police work?"

"No, I planned much lunch for after I talk to you, so I'm off the clock."

"I don't want to keep you from your lunch."

"No, I like talking with you."

"How about we go down to the cafeteria, and get a bite?"

"Sounds great."

We walked down to a dining hall, at that time there were not many people there, but still a lot of food. I dropped the money I was going to spend on my lunch into a donation box. I figured it was the least I could do. I took a sandwich and a salad, and asked for a glass of water. She had gotten soup, a sandwich, and a soda. We then went into the corner to sit, just in case the place filled up.

"This is actually pretty good food," I commented.

"Yeah, it is pretty decent here. Not quiet as good as home though."

"Nothing is."

She nodded. "I miss having a real home. It seems that every time we get comfortable in place we are forced to move."

"That must be rough." I took a forkful of my salad.

"Yeah, but the kids seem to be adjusting well."

"They're still young, it's all an adventure to them."

She laughed. "You know kids pretty well for someone who doesn't have any."

"I work with a lot of kids."

"It must be rewarding."

"Yeah, it is some days."

"Do you like your job?"

"I love it."

She was slowly sipping her soup. "I wish I had a job I loved."

"You'll find one. I never thought I'd actually like this job, I don't even know why chose it."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I mean if I wanted to help people I should have been a counselor, or something."

She laughed. "You were always the kind of person who got to the root of the problem."

"I guess so."

"I still remember when we were kids how you dealt with stuff."

"What are you talking about?"

"I remember this one time someone was spreading rumors about you, and instead of just not talking to me cause you heard me spreading it you went and talked to everyone who had repeated it so hear where they got the story from. It took you a couple of days, but you found the kid. He was someone who sat next to you in class, he was mad that you didn't let him cheat, and he started spreading rumors about you. You never once blew up at any of the other kids, but you beat him up and got yourself suspended for a couple of days."

I had not remembered that story, but when I thought about it more I had always dealt with my problem like that, as she said, at the root of them. I had never seen the point of doing something to punish everyone who was involved. I wanted to know where it had started, and then I would stop it.

That was kind of what I was doing with working with domestic cases. I was going right to the very root of the problem, and helping to fix it. That way when they went to the next step things were more stable because part of the problem had already been fixed.

I didn't see the point of going to therapy when someone's using you as a punching bag, unless you are in a position to not be the punching bag. How are you supposed to solve the hardest problems when the base is the same? Knock it all out, and then re-build was what I had always thought.

I was really glad that I had decided t stay and visit with my old friend. It was nice to just talk about our lives now. We had missed so much, but we could still tell each other just about anything. I decided to make plans to meet her for coffee on my next day off, so that I would not lose track of her again.

All too soon my allotted lunchtime was over. I said goobye to my friend, knowing that I would see her later that day when I dropped off her children.

I liked days when I only got to deal with that sort of thing. I had loved working with Tyrone, but I was glad to be getting back into my own routine. He was great person to work with, and if I liked doing the regular stuff I would love to be his partner, but since that was not my strong spot, I stuck with what I could do the best.

A lot of times the guys would bug me about doing most of the domestic cases, but I never let it bother me. Tyrone never did, he was a great guy, and a great cop too. Just form the stories I had heard about Tyrone's father they were exactly alike when it came to their work ethic.

Part of me wanted to ask him to help with the domestic stuff, but I knew that he lived for the whole job, not just a portion of it. Besides, he had to keep a more manly post since his girlfriend had started taking firefighter shifts.

I had seen Alex on the field and had worked with her a couple of times, and I knew she was good at what she did. I had only heard about how she handled herself the day Tyrone was shot, and I still found it hard to believe.

The two of them made a great couple, and part of me wanted that for myself. But another part of me just liked being single. I liked getting a guy to agree to a date more then I liked dating them. I had never really had a long term relationship, and nothing was ever too serious.

I hated to admit it, but I had never been in love, and part of me really didn't want to be. I saw what falling in love could to an otherwise sane female. I didn't really want to deal with that bullshit. Sometimes other women would call me some horrible names, but I didn't care. They were probably just jealous anyway.

My sister always liked to bug me about my track record with men, but I didn't care. I figured one day I'd settle down, but until I was I was going to have fun playing the field. I found it funny how Mathews was able to pick up women with more ease when he was in uniform, but I always had more trouble with it.

I looked at the clock, and realized that it was about time to pick up Kirstyn's kids from the school. I drove over there, introduced myself at the office, and had the secretary call them down. I never went directly to the classrooms because I knew that the other kids would never let them live down an officer coming to pick them up from school.

They were adorable kids. Melanie had long, curly brown hair, and green eyes, and was wearing blue jeans and a Disney t-shirt of some kind. Michael was wearing a black jeans and a dark blue unprinted t-shirt. They both looked very surprised to see a uniformed police officer waiting for them.

"Hi," I said. "I'm Officer Kenny, but you can call me Kylie. I'm here to make sure that you get home from school safely today, all right?"

"We're not supposed to leave school with strangers," Melanie whispered, trying to be brave.

"You're a very smart little girl, and you're right about that. You should never ever leave school with a stranger. Do you know what you do if a stranger tries to take you from school?"

"Yeah," Michael piped in. "We are supposed to go find an adult and tell them what happened."

"Good for you. So do you want to ask Miss Brown if it's okay then?"

He nodded, and went up to her. I couldn't hear what she had told him.

"It's okay Melanie," he told his sister. "She is here to make sure we get home safely. Mommy said it was okay."

They took my hands, and we started down the hallway. "You're two very smart kids, you know that?"

"Mommy tells us we have to be careful, cause of Daddy," Melanie explained.

"Yeah, I know, that's why I might come to pick you both up sometimes. You know what I think you should tell your mommy she should do to make sure you both are extra safe?"

"No! What?" they both asked.

"I think that you should have a password."

"What's that?"

"It's a special word that you and your Mommy would pick. It has to be something you'll remember but no one could guess easily. Then when your mommy sent someone to pick you up you'd know she sent them because they'd tell you your secret password." I explained.

"What happens when someone uses it?" Melanie asked.

"After you use it the first time you change the word. My mommy and daddy had one for me when I was little. When my dad got sick one day, and they sent a friend of theirs I knew right away that my mommy had sent him because he told me the password."

"Wow! We're gonna have to tell Mommy about that," Michel exclaimed.

"Yeah," Melanie agreed.

We got out to the parking lot. "So have you two ever been in a real police car?"

"No," they both replied.

"All right. Just like with any car you can't ride up front."

"Can you put the lights and sirens on?" Michael asked.

"For a little while."

Wow! That's so cool!"

We got to the car and they were amazed by how many things were in there. They both crawled in, and put on their seatbelts. I smiled at them, then got in the driver's seat. I then opened the protective shield.

"What's that?" Melanie asked.

"What I just opened?" She nodded. "It's so that I can hear you. If I close it then I can't hear."

"Why would you close it?" Michael asked.

"If someone is cursing at me, or screaming, I like to have it closed."

"Oh okay."

"There's lotsa buttons," Melanie pointed out.

"Yeah, it took me a while to figure them all out."

"Do you like being an officer?"

"Yeah, I do.

"Why'd you become an officer?" Michael asked me.

"Cause I always liked to help people, and I always liked to watch the police on TV."

He laughed. "Really?"

I laughed. "Yeah."

"Can you put the lights and stuff on now please?" Melanie asked after we had gotten away from the school.

"All right, but only for a little bit."

I flipped the switch to put the sirens and lights on. The two of them started giggling like crazy. Before long we had arrived at the shelter. The few people outside were looking to see what was going on.

"All right guys," I said before getting out. "I have to open the door for you, all right? so unbuckle yourselves and be patient."

I got out of the car carefully, as it was a busy street. I went around and let the two of them both out. They ran right up into the building, and I followed them to their room. They flew inside, excited.

"Mommy!" they both exclaimed upon seeing her.

"Home safe and sound," I informed her.

"Thank you," Kirstyn said, looking a lot less tense then before.

"Thank you Officer Kylie!" the two chorused.

I smiled at them. "You're very welcome, all of you."

"We got to ride in a real police car!" Melanie told her.

"And Officer Kylie even put the lights and sirens on for a little while!" Michael continued.

"Don't forget what I told you, all right?" I told the kids before leaving.

"We won't!" they both said.

"See you for coffee in a few days, Kirstyn."

She nodded, and I left. The rest of the day was rather uneventful until my last call. It was about a kid who had been hurt in the park. It turned out he had only fallen off the monkey bars, but that wasn't the exciting part. When I got there I was surprised to see a guy I had seen a few times before named Tommy.

"Tommy what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I'm a Big Brother," he told me.

"Always with the good guy stuff."

He laughed. "You know that's what I'm about Kylie."

I nodded. "True, why didn't you go with him?"

"I saw you, figured his parents would be at the hospital and I'd just be in the way."

I smiled. "You thought that, really?"

"More I saw you."

"Gotcha, I've got work to do."

He shrugged. "When you're done wanna go out?"

"I'm not really in the mood for a date tonight."

"Then you wanna stay in?"

I laughed. "I'd like that, I'll meet you outside the station house in about half an hour?"

"Sounds great."

That was the extent of my relationship with Tommy. I couldn't say I was dating Tommy, cause we never did make it out of the house. We would run into each other every once in a while, spend the night together, then we'd both disappear back into our own worlds. I didn't want anything else from him, and he didn't seem to want anything more either. It worked out well for both of us.

We didn't really talk about our families, or our pasts when we got together. Mostly we just talked about what was going on in our lives at that moment. I would talk about work, and he would talk about his volunteer activities. I wasn't even sure if he did work at all, and I didn't much care. I couldn't even tell you what his last name was, and I was happy with the way things were with us.

I filled out my report, then went back to the house. I double checked all my paperwork from that day, then got changed. I was glad I had a not terrible looking pair of clothes in my locker. Just tight black jeans and white tank top, but I looked good in them. I even heard a couple of the guys whistle at me as I left the building.

I smiled upon seeing Tommy leaned up against the building. He smiled back at me, and we walked over to my place, which was only a few blocks away. On our way over we didn't really talk much,

I just told him about my day, and he just listened. I was glad to have someone lending an ear. He always seemed to show up at times where I really needed to talk. Normally I'd just talk to Lynsey, my sister, but she out of town for a couple of days.

When we got up to my place we couldn't keep our hands off of each other. That's what always happened between us. We'd be fine until we got to the apartment, and then any thoughts of it being different that time went flying out the window, and our clothes would be flying all over the place.

I lead him into my room, and pulled onto the bed with me. I had really missed him since the last time we had seen each other. There was never any confessions of love, or anything like that. We just fulfilled our base needs, and would disappear into the night until we saw each other again.

It had been over a month since I had last seen Tommy, and part of me hoped I might see him soon. I had some news for him. I wasn't sure if it was good or bad. How could I have been so stupid, I kept asking myself. I needed to talk to someone, and I didn't want to tell Lynsey what was going on.

My whole day had been a haze since I had gotten the results of the pregnancy test. I couldn't believe it, I didn't even know the guy's last name and now I was having his baby. It was too much to deal with alone. But who could possibly understand what I was going through?

Then it hit me, I could talk to Emily. I had seen Alex earlier that day so I assumed that she was actually working. When I got off shift I went over to the firehouse to find her. Alex was coming down the stairs.

"What brings you over here?" Alex asked me, with a smile.

"I was looking for Emily," I replied.

"It's her day off."

"I assumed cause you were here that she'd be too."

She nodded. "Normally that's true, but I've been taking a few fire shifts on some of my days off. Is there something I could help you with?"

I shrugged. "I was hoping to talk to Emily."

"All right, but if you wanna talk to me I'll listen."

"I dunno."

"It's your choice. I know we hardly know each other, but I can be a good listener."

I nodded. "Thanks, I think I'm going to take you up on that, I really need to talk someone who doesn't have a penis."

She laughed. "I understand. Coffee or drinks?"

"Coffee."

We walked over to a coffee shop not far from the house, I had to admit I was relieved that I had found someone to talk to. I ordered a small coffee, and we sat down at one of the booths at the back. Even though I wanted to talk, I just couldn't find the words.

"How are things with you and Tyrone?" I asked.

"Good, he's a bit of a slob but otherwise everything's good with us," she replied.

"I wish I could find one like that."

She laughed. "He's a great guy. Is there anyone special in your life?"

"No, I just like playing the field."

"That can be a dangerous choice sometimes."

"Know from experience?"

"Very luckily not. When I moved here I was very surprised I didn't pick up my old habits."

"Why'd you play the field?"

She shrugged. "Seemed like a good idea at the time. Besides love is sometimes fucked up and I just didn't want to have anything to do with it."

I laughed. "What changed?"

"Tyrone was different. That night when we went back to my place he didn't try anything. We just talked until we fell asleep."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it felt so right too, I just kind of changed my rules. So what's your reason?"

"I guess I haven't found the right person. Or it could be cause I work with a bunch of guys and I picked up their attitudes!"

She laughed. "If they already see you as just one of the guys you may as well act like 'em right?"

"Exactly."

"But then you realize you have one worry they don't huh?"

I nodded. "Yup, if they walk away they can pretend it's not real."

"I've always been really lucky about that."

"I thought I was too."

She took my hand. "Are you?"

I nodded. "Went to the doctor to be sure before my shift."

"Do you know who?"

"Yeah, his name is Tommy."

"That's all you got?"

I looked down. "Yeah."

"What are you going to do?"

"I really don't know, that's why I wanted to talk to Emily."

"She'd have been a good choice, as she's been through it."

"Exactly, but you're being helpful."

"I try."

We fell silent for a long moment. She was still holding my hand, as a way of showing me that she was being supportive. I was glad for that. A lot of the women I knew would have turned their backs on me upon finding out about it. That's why I didn't like to be friends with women who weren't emergency workers, they just didn't get it.

When you're one of the guys with tits you interact with women differently then most. You don't play the bullshit games that women like to play. You support everyone like brothers, always brothers. Sisters had cat fights, rivalry, and were always on their guard. Sisters hold grudges, spread lies and play games. Brothers however didn't do any of that crap. If you had a problem with a brother you just kicked the crap out of him, and then let it go. I liked it better that way.

Things seemed to be resolved so much better that way. I never understood the underhanded things that women did to each other. It was just so much easier to tell someone to his face that you were pissed off with him for no reason, then to get mad over nothing and ruin another person's life.

"I just don't know what I want to do," I said breaking the silence.

"It's entirely your choice and I, for one, will support you whatever you do."

I smiled at her. "Should I tell him?"

"I think you probably should, but if there's some reason you don't want to."

"I don't know, I don't want things to change, I'm happy with the way we are."

"It's going to change, I'm sorry to say. No matter what happens you're going to change the way you look at him."

"I guess."

"Look if you keep the baby and pretend it's someone else's there will always be tension from the secret. If you have the baby and put up for adoption you'll always wonder if he would have done the right thing, and you'll start resenting him for not doing the right thing when he didn't even know what it was. If you get rid of it, well then you'll hate more then you'll ever hate another human being for making you go through what you went through."

"There's just no winning, is there?"

"Nope."

I shrugged. "I really don't know. I don't even know if I can keep it."

"Why?"

"I'm on some medicine that could effect the fetus."

"Yikes."

"I mean if I give birth to a special needs child I know that I will not be able to take care of it."

"There's always adoption."

"While I love how that worked out for me, I saw how it didn't work for my father. I really don't want my child to be a third generation adoptee. She'll never know most of the real her, and it's already hard enough for me I would never want to do that to another person."

"You'd still have a role in her life, just like Carlos has one in yours."

I shrugged. "And Tommy? What if he or his family want to sweep it all under the rug. Just like my maternal family? Then what? It's hard enough to know that a family wants me to stay hidden in a closet somewhere. I don't want my child to feel like one of her own parent wanted to doom her to that fate. I can't let anyone I helped create feel that way."

"Then you have two options instead of three."

I wanted to cry, but put on a brave face. "I couldn't do what Emily does."

"It takes a special kind of person to do it. But you don't know till you have to what you can and cannot do."

"That's very true."

"Again, whatever your choice is, I, for one will support you."

I nodded. "I just really don't know."

She scribbled something on a piece of paper. "These are my numbers, if you need to talk at any time don't think twice about calling."

"Thank you, I appreciate that, a lot."

"No problem, I'm not bailing on you, I just wanted to get it out of the way."

"Shouldn't you call Tyrone and tell him where you are?"

"He'll call if he gets worried."

I smiled. "If I had that then it wouldn't even be a choice."

"It's crazy how fate works."

"Yeah. Look, you're really helped just by listening, but I want to be alone with my thoughts."

"That's fine, good luck, and don't forget you can call me anytime you need someone to listen."

"Thank you."

She gave me a hug, then left me alone with my thoughts. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but I was glad to have at least one ally no matter what I chose. I knew I needed to find Tommy somehow, but we had always gone to my place. I didn't even know where to start looking for him. I had a huge choice to make, and it seemed like I was going to be making it on my own. I just hoped I had the strength to make the right one.

It had been a month since I found out the I was pregnant. I was lucky because I was not getting too sick in the morning, and no one had guessed that there might be something different with me. I talked to Alex and Emily on a regular basis and we'd talk about what my options were. They were the only two people that knew the truth, and I did not want to tell anyone else.

I didn't want to be treated any differently unless I decided that I was going to keep the baby. I knew that I had to make my choice soon, but was still weighing my options. The thing I was most glad about was that if I did have the abortion no one I worked with would ever know.

I knew that if they found out they'd treat me like a broken little girl, and I didn't want that. If didn't have the baby I didn't want sympathy for making what I thought was the best choice. Even if I put it up for adoption I didn't want any kind of sympathy for letting the baby go. I just wanted everything to stay the same, even though I knew that wasn't really possible.

I knew the Lynsey suspected something was going on, but I refused to tell her. I knew what she was going to encourage me to do, and I was fairly certain that's not what I wanted. I didn't want to settle down with Tommy and become a happy little family unit. If I was going to do it I was going to do it alone, with no help from him, even if there were birth defects.

As much as I wanted to do that, I wasn't sure I was strong enough to be a good single parent. I mean even Emily wasn't doing it entirely alone anymore. I didn't know Tommy well enough to know if he'd be a good influence, and I really didn't want to know him that well.

I had been perfectly content with the way things were, and now everything was screwed up. I was even more lucky that I was not bloated or anything, and I still fit into my uniform. I knew it would be a matter of time before I would be showing, and I would not be able to deny that I was pregnant. But until then I wanted to do the same stuff I always did at work.

I was working alone that day, when I got a call that Mathews and Tyrone needed backup and at a location not too far from where I was. I flipped on the lights, and raced to where they were. When I pulled up to the building they were both in their car. They got out upon seeing me.

"I think we can go now," Mathews reasoned.

"Shouldn't we wait for another team?" Tyrone asked.

"If we don't go soon we're going to lose it."

"Fine."

We all carefully went up the building. I could hear sirens getting closer in the background. It was an old building that was almost falling apart. It was filthy inside, and probably crawling with rodents and insects. This wasn't the type of thing I liked to do, but it was also part of my job. We carefully creeped up the stairs, them leading the way. I had no idea what was going on, I just realized.

Part of me wondered if I should not have gone because it could be dangerous. I decided that after that I'd be more careful for my unborn child. I still wasn't sure what I wanted to do, and I didn't want to lose it if I decided that I did want to keep it.

I figured that even if something did go wrong, the vest would protect the child, and I would be the one who would have to pay the price. Mathews knocked on the door, and all of a sudden it flew open, and someone ran out.

I didn't realize until I was falling down the stairs that he had pushed me. I landed on the bottom, and knew I was pretty badly hurt. I had bumped everything but my head as I fell, and I wondered if the baby would survive the fall.

"We have an officer down!" Tyrone yelled into his radio. "We need a bus here now!"

Mathews had run down the stairs to check on me.

"Are you all right?"

"Yeah I'll be fine, a little fall isn't gonna stop me," I assured him.

While I knew that I was going to be fine I wasn't sure what would happen to the unborn child inside me. I hoped that it would be Alex and Emily who showed up, that way I wouldn't have to tell anyone about the pregnancy.

If did lose the baby I didn't want the guys to treat me any differently because of it when I got back. I was a strong person, and I could deal with it alone. But I could not deal with a bunch of half assed apologies about losing a baby I wasn't sure I had ever wanted.

I didn't want to lose it, and I realized then that they reason I had not aborted yet was because I wasn't going to. Now I could lose it just as I finally accepted it.

I heard the ambulance sirens, and I knew that it would not be long before my fate would discovered. Would anyone find out about this baby? Or would it be something that I would deal with all alone upon losing it? Emily and Alex came running in. Emily went white as a sheet, and excused herself. Alex just did what she had to do. She put me on a board, and then got help loading me into the bus. Emily must have gone back to the driver's seat because the bus lurched forward as soon as the door were closed.

"I didn't want to say anything out there," Alex told me. "So I just loaded you in, I wasn't sure if you wanted anyone to know."

"Thank you," I whispered.

She smiled at me. "Your vitals are fine, and you'll just have scrapes and bruises. Unfortunately we don't have fetal monitor in here, so you're going to have to wait till you get to the hospital on that front. I'll make sure to tell the doctors to be discreet about it, as you haven't told anyone yet."

"You can do that?"

"Yes, I can."

"Emily?" I called.

"Yeah," she replied.

"Are you all right?"

"Fine, Alex is the expert in these kinds of situations, I'm sorry."

"It's okay, thank you all the same."

She didn't respond, and I really wanted to talk to her once I was released. We got to the hospital, and they rushed me in. Alex was screaming out a bunch of things I didn't really understand. I was in one of the rooms, away from where anyone with a badge could be when I finally heard her say.

"She's over two months pregnant, and needs a fetal monitor."

Everyone started to scurry around me.

"I've got to go Kylie, we'll come to see you as soon as we can," Alex told me, before leaving.

I laid there helplessly as a bunch of doctors worked on me. I hated that I only half understood what they were all saying. Before I knew it was moved onto a hospital bed, and was wheeled to a room on a different floor. The one good thing about being a city worker was there was never any paper work to do before you were transferred from the ER, they knew all of our insurance records were on file.

The nurse who had wheeled me in had long since disappeared, and I was hoping that a doctor would come in soon to tell me what the hell was going on. I wished there was something to do as I waited. I stared up at the ceiling, fearing the worst, but hoping I was very wrong. The door finally opened and a doctor appeared.

"I'm sure you know why I'm here Officer Kenny," he said.

"Yeah, can you just get it over with?" I asked.

"Of course, there is no point in stalling this.' I pretty much knew what the answer was. "Unfortunately the trauma of the fall was too much for the fetus, and there was nothing that could have been done to save it."

I gasped. "Is it still inside me?"

"Yes, we're going to have to do surgery to remove it, after that if you wish you can have a burial service."

"No," I whispered. "I was going to have an abortion anyway."

I was lying, but he accepted my reasoning and before too long he left. I had finally decided what I had wanted to do with my unborn child, and the fates took it away from me. It all seemed so unfair, but I already knew just how unfair this world would be.

I wondered if I would look at Tommy the same the next time I saw him. I wondered if the next time I saw him I'd tell him the truth, or just pretend like nothing happened, and pretend everything between us was the same.

I knew one thing for sure, I was going to be a lot more careful the next time. No excuses, my birth control was far from foolproof, and there were still so many other things that could happen. No matter how much they assured me it would be fine, I would insist that they used protection. I did not want a repeat of what had just happened to me.

I didn't even know the guy's last name, or that his fully name was actually Thomas and I went and had unprotected sex with him, how could I have been so stupid? It seemed like a harsh punishment but I had finally learned my lesson.

The door opened again and I was not at all surprised to see Alex and Emily standing there. I nodded at them and they both came in, each going on a different side of the bed. I knew what they both wanted to know, and I was in no mood to sugar coat it.

"How are you feeling?" Alex asked.

"I'm sore," I replied.

"What's the news?"

I stared up at the ceiling, trying to make myself not cry. "The baby didn't make it."

They both leaned in to hug me. I was trying really hard not to cry. I couldn't believe I had finally figured out what I was going to do, and now it was gone anyway. At least no one would ever know the truth. I knew that I was lucky to be alive, but I felt like a part of me was missing. I was glad that they were there for me.

"I hope I'm walking in on something!" I heard Mathews laugh. "Emergency workers gone bad, now that's a movie I would pay big bucks too see."

"Oh go fuck yourself," Alex snapped.

It was nice to know that there was one person in the room that hated him more. Tyrone came in a moment later. It was almost disgusting how he and Alex could just look at each other and everyone knew they were in love.

"How are you feeling?" Tyrone asked.

"Pretty good, just bumps and bruises," I replied.

"That's good, I was really worried when Alex rushed you out."

"I wasn't sure if she had hit her head, and figured the quicker I got her here the quicker we could be sure," Alex lied for me.

"Oh," both the men said.

I nodded. "The doctors want to keep me overnight because they think I might have a slight concussion."

"I could keep you up all night at my place," Mathews joked.

"You'd like to think so, wouldn't you?" Emily replied.

Everyone gasped at the response. I thought things had been going somewhat well between them, apparently they had hit a bump in the road.

"Anyway, we were just here to check up on you, and report back with the news," Tyrone explained.

"Tell 'em my thick head saved my life for once."

They both laughed, and then said their goodbyes. Tyrone kissed Alex lightly on the lips before leaving. I wanted something like that so much.

"We should probably get going too," Emily said.

"You two have more lives to save," I smiled.

"Yup."

The two of them left after giving me another hug each. I was glad for the support and I knew I'd need it. I knew that I didn't want to tell Lynsey what was going on, but I wasn't sure about Carter. He had entrusted me with his biggest secret once upon a time. It would have been nice to get a male point of view on the whole thing too. Even if he wasn't exactly the average male, he was the only one I trusted with the information.

It was not long before he came through the door. I was glad to see him. He came right over to give me a hug.

"You're all right?" he asked me.

"Yeah."

"Alex and Emily told me you fell down a flight of stairs."

"I was pushed." I corrected.

"How bad were you hurt?"

"Not that bad, they want to keep me overnight."

He nodded. "So you have a concussion?"

"No, but if anyone asks, yes."

"What?"

"As far as everyone but Alex or Emily is concerned I do have a concussion and that's why I'm here overnight."

"And the real reason?"

"I was pregnant."

He looked at me his eyes tearing. "Was?"

"Yeah, I lost the baby in the fall."

"And this is a secret because?"

"I don't want anyone to know that I was pregnant."

"Who was the father?"

"You wouldn't know him, his name is Tommy."

He nodded. "Kylie I'm so sorry you have to go through this. If there's anything I can do to help, just tell me."

"Right now I'm all right, really, thank you."

"All right, I'm sorry I don't really have much time, I just ran up here while I was here."

"That's all right, I kind of want to be alone with my thoughts for a little while."

I knew then that I really didn't want Lynsey to know the truth, too many people did already, and I couldn't stand to have any one else feeling any kind of pity for me. I hated feeling like people felt sorry for me. I was a strong person I could deal with it just fine.

No one at work be the wiser, and I'd just go back to doing my usual thing. The guy who had pushed me was going to be in enough trouble for pushing me down the stairs. I wanted him to be dead instead of my unborn child, but that's not the way the world worked.

I curled up in the uncomfortable hospital bed. Replaying the situation over and over in head, wondering what I could have done differently to make it end differently. I knew it was only going to make things harder, but I couldn't stop thinking about it. I began to cry, as I thought about what I had lost. I hoped no one would come in and see me so upset about it.

I was terrified about the surgery. I was more worried about the possibility that because of what had happened I would never be able to have a baby. I decided I was not going to tell the Tommy the truth, but I wasn't sure if I could be with him again if I ever saw him. It would bring back too many memories.

Something in me changed that day, maybe I softened because of what happened. But either way after that I was changed person. I would do my job just as always, but I always looked at kids a little differently.

After that night in the hospital it had become a regular thing for me to cry myself to sleep. Although I knew I had three people who would listen to me when I was down, I never went to them. I just dealt with all the guilt, grief and sorrow I had to deal with alone. It may not have been the best way but it was the only way I knew.

Sometimes when you play with the big boys for so long, you forget that you still have female emotions, losing that baby reminded me just how true that was. As much as you try to be one of the guys, when it's all said and done you'll always be a girl, with female feelings.

end

end notes: so i actually had a pick up password when i was kid, and i still remember mine, funny huh? anyway next up have carter, had some issues writing his part but i think i'm doing justice, oh and i'm introducing a new bucket boy in cater's part, anywho if you're still digging this fic PLS tell me i'm starting to feel like i'm writing it for myself


	11. Carter 2

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Carter 2   
AUTHOR: trista groulx   
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language  
SUMMARY: Cater again, I'm going to tell you about my new boyfriend, and a new bully around the firehouse.  
AUTHORS NOTES: this was by far the hardest thing i've ever written, write what you know, i tell 'ya i'm gonna stick with that from now on.. yikes, carter was really hard to write, i love him to death, but i've had lots of trouble writing in his POV (i mean we both like guys, but haha) anyway hope you are still digging this please please please some feedback? it makes me ever so happy 

The life of a firefighter is a roller coaster ride at the best of times. My life as a gay firefighter was like a roller coaster going upside down and backwards. I never knew what could be coming around the next bend. After I had first told the guys on the squad about being gay they all treated me differently for a long while. It been months since I had told them, and things finally seemed to be getting back to normal.

It might also have to do with the fresh meat they felt they needed to tenderize. The newest paramedic at our station had decided she wanted to become a firefighter like her father. Needless to say, the guys didn't know what to make of this development, and decided to bug her about it.

I was glad that the focus was off of me. Even thought she was new, she was very knowledgeable, and if the way she was as a medic was any indication she'd make a great firefighter. She was slowly winning over the squad, and I hoped they would find someone new to antagonize once they were through with Alex.

She was a very strong person, and she took all the ribbing with a strong face. She never let them get to her. There were days I wished I could be as strong. When they would start making fun of my sexual preference I would get very defensive about it. I never fought them or anything, but they knew what they were doing was getting to me.

I was a good firefighter, and that's all that should have really mattered when it came to the squad, but it wasn't. I understand being a little uncomfortable but I had already made it very clear that I was not interested in any of them that way.

They were better then just after I told them, but I was hoping things would go back to the way they were, and that didn't seem like it was happening. Often they'd tease me and tell me I should shower at the same time as Alex. I tried to chuckle it off, but some days it got to me. I tried not to think about it, but it was hard.

It had been a few weeks since I found out that my half sister had had miscarriage, and being her usual stubborn self she had not called me to talk. I knew her well enough to know she was hurting, but she hated to admit she felt pain like everyone else. So I knew that whatever she was dealing with had become her personal prison.

Even though she was only my half sister, I considered her a full sibling because I didn't have any others. I was lucky I missed out on all the shitty growing up stuff with her, and I liked to bug of her sister, through adoption, Lynsey about it. Although I admit I don't know her well I had learned very quickly how she liked to grieve, alone, until it got to be too much, and she'd come crying on someone's shoulder on the verge of a breakdown.

She and her sister were very close, and I knew that she trusted me just as much as I trusted her because I knew that her being pregnant was not something many people knew. She had told me that she had only told Alex and Emily. I had surprised when I didn't hear Lynsey's name on the list. She had given me some excuses as to why she didn't want Lynsey to know, but I thought they were a little half baked.

That night, however, I just wanted to focus on my date. I was very excited, and was looking forward to it. It was a blind date a mutual friend had set up. I had never been on a real date since I came out the closet, so I was really nervous. I had never actually been with a man, as I had been pretending to like women until very recently. I was really nervous about the whole thing, but excited at the same time. I couldn't wait to see who my friend had set me up with. I really hoped that I'd like him. Our mutual friend had even gone so as to far as make us reservations at a nice restaurant, using her name so there was no way we could forget the name, and would not get the wrong person.

I got dressed, in a pair of dress pants, and a nice shirt, but no tie. I hated ties, and I only owned one which was so out of style I'd be shot on site for wearing it. I didn't know a thing about the guy I was going to meet, accept that we had met briefly at a party.

Since there were reservations under our friend's name it was impossible for either of us to meet the wrong person. How embarrassing would it be to sit down at a straight businessman's table thinking he was your blind date? I got the restaurant right on time. I was never very good at timing traffic. When you work in a rig that make traffic move all day you sometimes forget how congested the city tends to be most of the time. I often joked that New York City would make a better parking lot then city.

When I got to the table, he was already there. He was wearing a grey suit with tie. He was not a bad looking man, and I had to admit I was attracted to him. He stood up and we shook hands. I started to regret not wearing the tie, I felt very underdressed. Of course if he saw how I normally dressed he'd know that this was very much dressed up for me.  
"Hi, I'm Carter Nieto," I said. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise, I'm Dale Knight."

We both sat down. "So what do you do for a living?"

"I'm an accountant, you?"

"Firefighter."

He laughed. "No really, what do you do?"

"I'm a firefighter with FDNY, didn't Jackie tell you?"

"I'm a blind date with a firefighter." He laughed. "This every straight woman's dream come true."

I laughed. "To go on a date with a gay firefighter?"

He laughed at my lame joke. "So why'd you become a firefighter?"

"My parents were both paramedics. It kind of made sense to be an emergency worker. I was going to be a paramedic, till I realized that fire fascinated me, so I became a firefighter."

"I couldn't imagine having to tell a bunch of firefighters I was gay."

I laughed. "They were pretty surprised, they kind of look at me funny during showers though."

"Now that is every gay man's dream." He chuckled. "Showering with a bunch of firefighters."

"It's really not that good, really. None of them are really my type. Half the time they wanna put me in the women's stall anyway."

"You have any fireladies where you work?"

"Yeah, one."

"That is so much more interesting then my work."

"I'm sure that there's something unique about you."

He shrugged. "I guess we're going to have to discover what that is."

I laughed, he seemed like a really nice guy, and I was glad he was making my laugh. It made the whole thing seem a lot less stressful.

Before long we had ordered, and our food was finished, and we were still just chatting away. It had been a long time since I had had a good talk with another gay person. I thought the whole evening was going really well. I really liked him a lot, and he didn't seem to hate me, so it had to be a good sign.

"So what were you planning to do if the date didn't go well?" he asked me as we left the restaurant.

"I really hadn't made an escape plan, actually," I replied.

"Really?"

"Didn't think of it. What about you?"

"Fake phone call."

"That would have worked. Have used it before?"

He nodded. "A couple of times."

"Do you date often?"

"Not really, actually."

"I'm sorry, I'm still a little new at this, I'm not really sure what to say."

He smiled. "We're not all experts. Say whatever you feel."

I nodded. "I'd like to see you again sometime."

"I'd like that."

We had gotten outside the restaurant, and I was at my car. I was shocked, and caught off guard when he kissed me. At first I just stood there, frozen. I had never been kissed by a man before. I knew I had always been attracted to them, but had always tried to deny it. Kissing him felt so right, it was the first time I really felt like myself when I was with someone. I had kissed women before, and within moments I kissed him like I had the women I had dated before. I pulled away, when things seemed to get a little to intense.

"We should do this again," I said, fidgeting with my keys.

"Defiantly," he replied, handing me his business card.

I took, and scurried to my car. I was happy with the way the night had turned out. I was just not the type of person who liked PDAs. I really liked Dale, and I felt like I was floating all the way home. That was the feeling that was always missing when I had dated women.

I was glad to finally be truthful to myself. I kept glancing at the business card, which I kept in my hand the entire way home. I had not been expecting the date to go well, I had had enough bad luck with seemingly straight set-ups, and a guy one had terrified me.

I was glad that I had not backed out at the last minute, as I had a really good time. I pulled up to my building. I saw someone sitting on the stairs out front, waiting for me. I was surprised when I realized the someone was for me, and it Kylie. She stood up, when she saw me. She went over to me, hugged me, and promptly began to cry.

"How about we go upstairs?" I suggested.

She nodded, and followed me up to my apartment. She sat down on the couch, and I put the kettle on for some tea. I poured us each a glass of chamomile, and then went into the living room. I knew that something was really bothering her because she was not complaining about the tea.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Everything," she replied.

"I doubt that somehow, but how about you start at the start and finish when everything's been covered?"

She nodded. "I saw Tommy today."

"Oh."

"Yeah. I didn't want anything to change, but I didn't even talk to him."

"Did he try to talk to you?"

"No, he didn't notice me."

"How could he not notice you?" I said with a smile, trying to be nice to her.

She was looking at the floor. "I was trying to avoid him."

"That doesn't sound much like you."

"I know, it's just that since –" She couldn't even say it. "I just thought it could all be the same, but it's not, and now I don't know what to do."

"I don't know what to tell you, Kylie, I wish I did."

"I'm just happy you're listening. Emily was having some trouble with Angela, and she couldn't stay on the phone too long. Alex and Tyrone had something planned tonight, and while I know that they'd have dropped it for me, I didn't want to bother them. So when I didn't get an answer from you, I came here, and hoped for the best."

"I'm always here when you need to talk to someone."

"That's what I love about you." She started to sniffle, like she was going to cry again.

"What, that I'm your loner half brother will always be around when you need him, cause he needs to get more?"

She smiled. "No, Carter, you're not a loner. But you do need to get our more."

"Actually, if you must know I went on a date tonight."

"Really? How did it go?"

"Very well, actually, I'm supposed to call him."

She hugged me. "That's great!"

"Yeah."

"So it's official not everything is completely bad. You have a potential boyfriend. And I guess it really was mostly seeing Tommy that made me fell like shit."

"That must have been hard."

"It just brought up so many things that I haven't even started to deal with."

"That's understandable."

She nodded. "Thank you. I always thought that everything would always be the same between Tommy and me."

"Nothing is stable, you should know that."

"I know that, I just wanted that to be. I see so many chaotic and out of control things in my life, I was just hoping something could just be stable."

I nodded. "I know that, I want that too, but that's not the way life works. Like or not it's different now."

"Yeah, and he doesn't even know it yet."

"Are you going to tell him the truth?"

"I don't know. I don't think I'm strong enough."

"Lying will make it all even harder. And you are more then strong enough, you just have to find it without you."

"I know, it just seems easier right now."

"In the long run you'll regret it."

"It's not like I'm in love with him or anything. He's just Tommy, but now it's different."

"It was almost something more."

She nodded. "Yeah, but he doesn't know that."

"Yet."

She smiled. "Would you mind if I crashed on your couch tonight?"

"Not at all. Can I ask why?"

"I just don't want to be alone in my apartment tonight is all."

"All right."

"You're sure you wouldn't mind?"

"I don't mind at all. But it is getting late, so would you mind if we just got some sleep?"

"That's fine. Thank you"

"No problem."

I got up and got her some blankets and pillows. She accepted them, and arranged the stuff on the couch the way she liked it. It was strange having my sister sleep over, but I was glad she had come to me. I was really surprised that she had not gone to Lynsey, but I'm sure she had her reasons.

"Carter?" she asked, as she laid down.

"Yeah," I replied.

"Don't tell Carlos."

"I wasn't going to." I sat down at the end of the couch. "Why is this such a secret?"

"I don't want them all to know that I screwed up."

"Kylie, it's okay to make a mistake."

"I know that, I just don't want everyone to know."

I squeezed her hand. "I'm not going to tell anyone, but I really wish that you would. They'd probably all be able to help you if you'd talk to them."

She began to cry. "I know, but not yet. It's still too fresh."

"All right."

"It's not fair, Carter." She began. "I finally decided that I actually wanted to keep the baby, and then-" She began to sob.

I drew he close for a hug, and just held my sister while she cried.. "I know, Kylie, it's not fair."

"Carter, why?"

I kissed her on the forehead. "I wish I knew Kylie."

"I would have been a good mother!"

"Yes, you would have. The best mother."

"I told the doctor I was going to have an abortion anyway, so I didn't even give her a proper goodbye."

"Just because her remains aren't there doesn't mean you can't have a proper goodbye."

"You think?"

"Yeah, I do. We have this fixation on saying goodbye to the physical part of person, when what we really need to say goodbye is the spiritual part."

"You sound like your mother."

"Probably. How about you and me, and maybe Alex and Emily get together at some point tomorrow, somewhere nice, and we'll just have a little ceremony for your baby? We'll just all say goodbye so her spirit can go in peace."

She sniffled. "I'd like that, a lot."

"Good, you pick the time and place, and I'll get Alex and Emily there."

She hugged me. "Thank you Carter."

"No problem."

"It's getting late we really should get some sleep."

"Agreed, we have a long day ahead of us."

"Good night."

"Good night."

I went into my own room, and was happy with what I had suggested for Kylie. I knew she needed to say a proper goodbye in order to help her heal. Since she had only told the three of us, I figured that we should all be there with her when she made her peace.

I knew she was not entirely convinced that saying goodbye to just a spirit could be as healing as a proper wake and burial, I was going to show her that it was the best thing she could do under the circumstances. I was glad that I had helped, and would be part of at least one part of her healing process.

Even though I felt bad for my sister, I could not help but let my thoughts go back to my date. I really liked Dale a lot. I knew I wanted to call him back, and hoped that I'd have time to do it the next day.

I was glad that the night had gone so well with him. I was expecting a disaster since it was the first time I had gone on a date with a man before. But it had all gone very well, and I was a lot more comfortable with him then I had ever been with the women I pretended to like.

It was nice not to have to be fake anymore. It was nice to finally be with someone I was actually attracted to, rather then someone I thought I could possibly learn to like physically. It's not that I didn't like the women I had dated. They all had great personalities, and I was still friends with many of them. I hated playing the role of an interested male, when love was not what I was looking for.

Most of the time I'd tell them the truth before feelings got involved, and I felt horrible for lying to them. Most of them still talk to me, and often ask me for advise about guys. But with Dale everything was different, and it was all real. I liked not having to pretend that I was interested in someone when all I wanted was friendship. It scared me that I had liked Dale instantly, but they say that's how it's supposed to work. You meet someone and you just know they are someone you want to get to know better, on a more intimate level. I had never had that happen, and I was glad that it had happened with Dale.

I felt like such an idiot falling asleep thinking about him, but I just couldn't help it. I really liked him, and anytime my mind wandered, it would end up back to him. I couldn't wait to see him again, and see what the future might hold for us.  
--

It had been two weeks since my first date with Dale, and we had started to see each other on a daily basis. I had to admit I was thrilled about seeing him so much, and he seemed happy too. I really cared about him, a lot, but I was far from ready to tell everyone about him.

I had not seen or heard from Kylie since had gone to the park to have a small goodbye ceremony for her unborn child. I could tell right after we had done it that a weight had been lifted off her shoulders, and I was hoping that she was still feeling somewhat free of it. She had gone back into her shell after the ceremony, and had not come back out yet.

I could only imagine what she must be going through. It was probably the hardest thing a person would have to go through. I was glad I never would. But she was so stubborn she would not tell anyone else the truth, and I thought that was making everything that much harder. It was her choice, and I was not going to tell anyone behind her back. Even though I really wanted to call Lysney so that she'd at least have her sister's shoulder to cry on.

I always knew that they were really close, and it almost upset me that she didn't want her help on that issue. I knew Kylie's reasoning on it, but even if Lynsey would not have agreed with what she had been planning she'd still be there for her little sister. That was the way sisters were supposed to work. When one was in pain, the other one would be trying to comfort the other.

It was the end of my shift, and I was glad to be getting off. It had been a really long day, and I'd be off the next day. I was upstairs getting changed when I heard Emily call up.

"What?" I called, zipping up my pants.

"There's someone here looking for you!" she yelled back.

"I'll be down in a minute! I'm just getting changed."

I wondered who it was who had come to meet me there, hoping it wasn't bad news. I knew it couldn't be either of my parents because she would have told me it was them, or they would have just come up. I pulled on my shirt, and went downstairs. I was very shocked to see Dale standing waiting for me.

I smiled at him, and he smiled back at him. I knew Emily realized right away who he was, but it took the rest of the crew a little while longer to clue in. When I gave Dale hug, and they all knew who he was right away. He was wearing a suit and tie, and looked beyond over dressed in the firehouse. He almost always wore business clothes, while I was the exact opposite. I was very happy in an old pair of jeans, and t-shirt.

"What brings you by?" I asked him.

He shrugged, "Just wanted to see where you worked."

"Well this is it, now let's get out of here."

It was too late, Garry had clued in, and was about to open his mouth. Why did the earth never open up and swallow you whole when you needed it?

"So who's this?" he asked me.

"Dale," I replied.

"Nice to meet you, Dale," he said shaking his hand.

"Nice to meet you too," Dale replied, unsure what was going on.

Garry then patted me on the back, but it ended up being more of a slap. "It's good to know we're really not your type," he chuckled.

"I told you that already. I think I'd rather to Alex then the lot of you."

Garry laughed. "From you, that is defiantly a very nice compliment."

I nodded. "I should get going."

"See you tomorrow."

That was by far one of the most embarrassing things that had ever happened to me. But at least it seemed that we were finally able to joke around about my being gay. I also knew that it would not become an issue again, with that group of guys. I left the building, and Dale followed me out. I was a little annoyed that he had showed up at my work, but I was still glad to see him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have come," he started.

"It's all right, really, it's not like I'm keeping everything a secret," I replied.

"I should have called you or something."

"That defeats the point of a surprise doesn't it?"

He smiled. "You're right. I didn't know I'd cause such a stir."

I shook my head. "A gay guy walks into a firehouse, sounds like the beginning of a really bad joke."

He laughed. "I guess so."

"The guys still aren't exactly used to it yet."

"Who's Alex?" he asked, suddenly.

"A firefighter."

"You like him?"

"Alex is our firelady."

He laughed, uncomfortably. He looked embarrassed and I think he may have even been blushing, it was hard to tell in the light. I couldn't believe that he actually had been jealous when he thought Alex was a man. I was kind of flattered, but unsure what to do about it. I decided not to pursue the subject.

"So that's where I work," I told him.

"My mother would be so proud that I was dating a firefighter, if she talked to me.," he replied.

I was surprised, to hear that. We had never really talked about our families but I had always assumed that his family was about as supportive as mine. But I was very wrong. I couldn't really imagine either of my parents not talking to me because I had told them truth. I was worried my father might, but never really believe that he could or would.

"What about your Dad?" I asked.

"I never really knew him," he replied. "It was always just me and Mom. When I told her I was gay, she just didn't seem to like the idea much. We just slowly stopped talking."

"Wow, that's gotta be hard."

He nodded. "What about your family?"

"My mother's known for a while, and has always been supportive of me. My dad only found out recently, and took it better then I thought he would. But I think he had suspected it for a while, and he was glad I finally told him the truth. My half sister is the first person I ever told, and she's always been my rock through the whole thing."

"That must be really great. Having your family supporting you like that."

"Yeah, I couldn't imagine going through everything alone."

He shrugged. "That's life I guess."

"Yeah."

"So what's the story on your half sister?"

"She's my dad's with a woman he used to date, or I should say used to mess around with. She died when my sister was a baby. Her family found my dad, and dropped my sister off at the firehouse. My dad was young, and was working for the city, and had no way to support her. So he put her up for adoption. It was an open adoption so she's always been in his life. I didn't find out about her till I was fifteen, and didn't really start talking to her till she was eighteen, and now we're best friends." "That's some story. I don't have any siblings."

"So do you have contact with any of your extended family?"

"Not really, we were never very close. I guess they took my mother's side."

"I really couldn't imagine not having any of my family supporting me."

"It's life, I dealt with those issues a long time ago."

I smiled. "That's good."

"There are some days when it's a little hard, but for the most part I have dealt with what I have to."

"There are always some bad days."

"I still can't believe I'm dating a firefighter."

I laughed. "Believe it. I'm not lying to you, or those people would have told you."

He smiled. "What's it like?"

"It's great, it's an adrenaline rush every day. I can honestly say I love my job."

"That must be great."

"You don't like your job?"

"I hate it."

"Why not try something new?"

He shrugged. "I really don't know."

"I bet you'd be great at lots of things. If you really don't like what you're doing you should find something you do like."

"I'm good at my job."

"You'd be even better if you liked it."

Before I realized it we had walked to my place, and we were on the doorstep. I smiled at him, and let him up. We had never been to my place before, and I was nervous. I let him in. The stuff was still on the couch from when Kylie had slept over, I quickly moved the stuff. There were some old magazines and things on the floor, but no food. I always considered the place relatively clean when there were no old food containers to be found.

"I know it's a mess in here," I said, shoving some stuff into the already full closet.

"It's lived in," he joked.

I smiled. "So this is home."

"Have you ever had a man here?"

"Not one like you."

He smiled at me. "Have you ever been with a man?"

"No." I admitted, sheepishly.

"I've only been with one, if it makes you feel better."

Somehow it really did. "Yeah."

"Come, sit down."

I went over, and sat next to him on the couch. I was really nervous, and I knew that he could tell. He kissed me lightly, but it was not long before I pulled away.

"We can take this as slow as you want to, Carter," he assured me, caressing the side of my face.  
I smiled at him, but wasn't sure what to say. "That'd be good."

"I can leave if you want."

"I don't think I want you to leave."

He stared past me. "You need to be sure."

"I know that." I looked at my hands. "I really want to be with you, I'm just not ready to make this too serious yet."" He smiled at me. "That's fine. I'll wait as long as it takes."

I smiled at him. "I really care about you."

He took my hand. "I care about you, too, that's why I'm going to leave before things get out of hand."

I nodded. "That's probably a good idea."

I kissed him goodnight, and he left. I was alone in my apartment, and I was glad I was. I realized that night that I didn't have the first clue about relationships. It had always been so different when I had been with women. It felt right with Dale, I was just nervous cause I had never done it before.

I knew I really wanted to be with him, and that's why I didn't run away. I decided that I needed to talk to someone, and the first person who came to my mind was Kylie. She had always been really supportive, and I hoped that she'd continue to be. I picked up the phone, and dialed her number. It took her a few rings to answer but she finally did, and I was happy to hear her voice on the other end. I wondered what had taken so long, she seemed to be out of breath.

"Hello?" she said.

"Hi, Kylie, it's me," I told her.

"Hi Cater," she replied I then heard her yell in surprise. "Tommy! It's my baby brother stop that!" She giggled.

I had caught her at a really bad time. "I'm sorry, you're busy, I'll talk to you some other time," I mumbled before hanging up.

She had obviously gotten over the baby, I thought to myself. A part of me wanted to go over there, and yell at them. I wanted to act like the tough little brother trying to help his big sister, but I knew that I couldn't do that. It was her life, and if she wanted to be with him again, that was her choice.

Although I was upset about that, I was more upset that I didn't have anyone to turn to with my problem. I had to talk to someone about Dale, and I couldn't think of anyone who would listen.

I ended up staying at home, and weighing the pros and cons alone. I hated the idea, but I really didn't trust anyone else. As much as I liked Emily and Alex if I went to them with the problem, I knew that I'd never be able to talk to them the same again.

Emily had enough trouble with men, she certainly didn't need to know about mine. If I would have gone to anyone I would have gone to her, as I had known her longer. But I knew that she wouldn't really be a big help. As much as I liked Alex, I hardly knew her, and I didn't want to disturb her, only to figure out after that I really couldn't tell her what the problem was.

A part of me actually wanted to call Dale and ask him what in the world was going on. But that would probably make things even more confusing. He was really the only person I knew who might understand how I was feeling. I was starting to wish that I had just come out with the truth a long time ago, so that by now I'd know what to do.

I felt like the biggest looser in the world, freezing up with my boyfriend. But I was nervous, it was like I was a teenager again, and I had all these thoughts and feelings and I didn't know what to do with them.

I jumped when I heard the phone right. I leaned over to answer it. I was not surprised too hear my mother's voice on the other end. I knew I couldn't talk to her about it, but I was glad she had called. She always knew when I was down about something, and somehow always called me when I needed to hear from her.

"Is everything all right?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I assured her. "I just have some stuff on my mind."

"What kind of stuff?"

"Work stuff, and Kylie stuff."

"Anything I can help with?"

"No, not really."

"I was just making sure you were alright."

"I am, thank you."

"Do you want to come over for supper your next day off, it's been a while since we've seen you."

"I'd really like that."

Part of me wanted to bring Dale, but I knew it was too soon for that. He would run aways in terror if he met my parents so soon. I loved them to death, but they were a little hard to handle sometimes. My mother was very into new age stuff, and that freaked a lot of people out. I liked it, personally, but not everyone has grown up around it, and knows how to handle it.  
The first time I brought a girl home, in high school, she actually did a tarot reading to see what our future held. Needless to say, it was not much, after that day she never talked to me again.

My father wasn't too bad, but he still had his quirks. A lot of people found him a little hard to get to know. He had a rough exterior, but once you cracked the shell he was a good guy. I talked to my mother a little while longer, never mentioning Dale.

I really wanted to tell her about the stuff with Kylie, but I couldn't. I didn't want the news getting back to dad. Kylie would never forgive me if the truth got to him.

Before long the conversation was over, and I had decided to try to get some sleep. I curled up in my bed, and couldn't help thinking about Dale. I knew I wanted to pursue something with him. I just hoped that he was all right with taking everything slow. I needed time to fully commit myself to a relationship. Especially since this was the first one I was being honest about.

I wanted to know if other gay guys felt the same the first time they were honest with themselves. I almost wanted to find a support group, and be reassured that what I was feeling was normal. I fell asleep, worried about Dale, but still had some great dreams. I was really glad he had decided to leave instead of letting things get out of hand. I knew because of that that he would be patient with me, and I was glad.  
--

It had been just over a months since I had started seeing Dale, and things were going well. We were taking things slow, but he constantly assured me that he was fine with that. I was actually starting to believe that I loved him, which scared me, but excited me at the same time.

Even though I was thrilled about my relationship, my mind tended to stay at work most night. A new guy had joined the squad, and he was a complete nightmare. His name was Alex Dixon, but everyone called Dixon as Alex Doherty was already the resident Alex. Since he had found out that Alex was not only a medic but a firefighter too he made it his job to torment her, endlessly. I had to admit Alex didn't seem to be letting it bother her.

That day was going to be the first time they were going to work together, and we all knew it would not end well. We also knew that it would not be Alex's fault that things might go sour.

"Hey Doherty!" he called, she turned around.

"What?" she asked, already annoyed

"Promise me that if I get trapped you won't be the one to save me."

"Afraid I'm gonna take your last shred of manhood?"

"Not fucking likely, I just doubt you could carry me."

"Those sound like fighting words," said Garry, with a laugh.

"Maybe they are," Dixon replied.

"I'll bet you that I can carry you up the stairs," Alex said, her eyes shinning.

"You're on!"

They agreed that the loser would buy the winner two good quality steaks. The rest of the guys wagered small amount of money. It was unfortunate that Emily was off work that day and wouldn't be able to see what was going on.

"What are the rules?" I asked.

"What do you mean rules?" Dixon demanded.

"None of us know if you're a weasel who'll move purposely so that Alex'll drop you."

"You make the rules then."

"All right, the first one is that you're not gonna really help Alex but you can't fight her, either. You should be acting like someone who actually stuck in a burning building and trusts just enough to get out alive."

"Fine, sounds good to me."

"Me too," Alex replied.

Alex stood on the bottom step, and Dixon stood on the second. Before long Alex had him slumped over her shoulder, and started walking up the stairs. We could all tell she was struggling a little, but she just kept going. That was what made her so good, she would not give up even if the odds seemed to be stacked against her. She made it to the top of the stairs, and everyone in the firehouse cheered upon seeing her succeed.

No one seemed to like Dixon that much, but he was part of the squad so we accepted him. He was just one of the arrogant people that grated on your last nerve, and it especially grated my nerves to see him treat Alex that way. She was good at both her jobs, and she was more then qualified. She had actually done the male agility just so that no one could accuse her of wimping out.

I was really happy that no one had told Dixon that I was gay. I was sure that if and when he found out he would never let the issue go. I hated to think that I'd be an issue around the firehouse again. All of the other guys had accepted it, but I didn't see Dixon as the type to be all right with showering next to a gay man.

I also knew from the way he treated Alex that he was the kind of person who would not let it go. We all knew that part of the reason he liked to bug her so much is he really liked her, and she wanted nothing to do with him. Still he didn't like the idea of female firefighter, and liked to state the fact quiet loudly. As much as I hated to see her being ribbed I did not want to be the one to take her place.

We often refer to each other as brothers, because we are so close, and look out for one another. I would not consider Dixon a brother. Alex was a better "brother" then Dixon was. He just seemed to be the kind of person who only cared about his own ass. It was pretty obvious especially when the lieutenant was around.

I saw Tyrone come into the building, looking for Alex. I knew that Dixon would have a problem with him. Dixon found Tyrone before he was able to find Alex, who had gone upstairs for something. I wanted to go over to warn him about Dixon but it was too late.

"Hey officer," he called at Tyrone. "What brings you over here?"

"Just looking for my girl," Tyrone explained, casually.

"Who's your girl?"

"Alex."

"Doherty? You're a brave man being with her." He laughed.

"Don't start with me."

Alex came down the stair. "Hey, baby, I missed you," she said to Tyrone, kissing him, letting it linger and go a little further then she usually would.

"You wanna go for a quick lunch?"

"Mmm, I'd really like that." We all knew that she was playing it up to piss off Dixon. "Later guys!"

The two of them left the building arm in arm, neither of them looking back at Dixon, who was standing there with his mouth agape. Everyone knew as soon as he had seen her he wanted Alex, but didn't realize how impossible she'd be to bed.

"Who's he?" Dixon asked.

"Tyrone Davis, her boyfriend," I replied, as cocky as I could.

"I'm more of a man than he is."

I shrugged. "They're real tight, I don't think you could squeeze between them."

"How tight?"

"They live together."

"But there's no ring."

"Whatever, I'd bet you couldn't even get her home number from her."

"You're on."

"It wasn't an actual bet. I'm surprised she gives you the time of day."

"Yeah, there's no getting between those two, they saw each other her first day here, and she never looked anywhere else," Garry explained.

"She just hasn't seen the right guy."

Garry laughed. "Live in your delusions, man."

Garry disappeared, and I just stayed there, waiting for him to say something.

"She should stick to her own."

"He is our own, we're all brothers around here."

"The squad, maybe, the medics even, but not next door."

"Next door too, we all work together, we're all brothers."

"Whatever."

"If I hear you disrespecting anyone in this firehouse again, I will make sure you are hung up by your toes!"

"What, you don't fight your own battles."

I had never been much a fighter, but he was pissing me off. Just because Alex could defend herself without seeming to be insulted, I couldn't. I knew the reason he was being an ass to Alex was he wanted in her pants. His way of showing her was the way schoolboy way, pulling on a girl's pig tails until she finally reacted.

I've always thought that it was a pretty stupid way of flirting, but who am I to judge? I was more pissed off that he still seemed to want to go after Alex having found out about Tyrone. Just because wherever he came from firefighters disrespected officers they worked with did not mean that we were going to adopt that policy.

If anything we were going to teach him our way, the New York way. I did not want to be the one giving him the lessons, but if he pushed me I would. I went to walk away, I didn't want any trouble.

"What too much of a pussy to fight your own battles?" he asked.

Without even thinking I had punched him. Everyone there gasped upon realizing what had just happened. I had never hit another person before, and I was shocked that I had started. I had done exactly what he wanted me to do, and I felt like shit for it. Even though I was not one to fight most of the time I was good at defending myself when I had to. As soon as he started swinging back I dodged the onslaught. It didn't take long for someone to pull him away from me. He was the only person who had any damage, which was only a broken nose it could have been worse.

I had learned how to dodge punches when I was a kid. Even tough I didn't know why at the time, I was a good target for bullies. I learned very quickly how to dodge their punches. I very rarely hit back, but when I did I usually did not miss, and hurt the other person. I was left alone with my thoughts while Dixon got cleaned up.

I knew that he probably would not be getting in my face for a while, and I was glad for that. He was the kind of person I hated, I didn't like anything about him. Since had walked into the firehouse he acted as if he was better then the rest of us. That was not something I tolerated.

I especially did not like the way he was around Alex. Even finding out that she was living with a guy, he was not giving up. He didn't care about anyone but himself, and thought himself superior because of it. He the kind of person that you laugh at when he falls flat on his ass.

Everyone at the house knew that he wanted Alex bad, and we just hoped that he would get a clue. She was far from interested in him, she was with someone else, and she was happy with him. The two of them returned, arm in arm like when they left.  
"I love you," I heard Alex tell him, knowing Dixon was in ear shot.

"Love you too, baby," he replied.

He kissed her hard, and she almost had to push him away. She realized when he pulled away that he was not to far away, watching them.

"I'll see you tonight," he said, kissing her again.

"I can't wait," she assured him.

He then left, to go back to the stationhouse. I watched as she tried to avoid Dixon, but he wouldn't let up.

"Who gave you the shiner?" she asked, finally, with a laugh.

"Nieto," he mumbled. "Wanna kiss it better Alexandra."

"Not a chance in hell, and if you asked again I'll punch you so hard the one you got from Carter will seem like a slap." She told him. "And if you call me Alexandra again, I'll rip your nuts off with my bare hands, got it, Alexander?"

He was going to say something else, but the alarm bell went off. We all scattered to get dressed, and ready to leave. We all got into the truck. At least Dixon was smart enough not to bring anything up with Lieutenant Anderson in earshot.

When we got to location the fire seemed to be contained to one side of the building. It was a converted house that had eight apartments inside, on two floors. There were already some people out, but there were still some unaccounted for. A large crowd of spectators had gathered, and the police were trying their best to keep them far back. Garry. Luke and Adam, started a line, and began to douse the burning side of the building.

"Doherty, Nieto, and Dixon, go in carefully, and see if you can find anyone alive in there," the lieutenant ordered.

We put on our masks, and ran into the building. Alex and I went in the same direction, and Dixon went off alone. We went into the first apartment, and found no one. In the second apartment found a man and child huddling in the corner. They were disoriented by the smoke. Alex picked up the child, and I helped the man up.

"What's your name?" I heard Alex ask the child, as we started walking.

"Jake," he replied.

"All right Jake, I'm gonna put this mask on you for a quick minute, and I want you to take some good deep breaths for me, can you do that?"

"Yeah."

I saw her take off the mask, and offer it to the child. She left it on him a little bit longer then she normally would have.

"All right, it's my turn again, we're gonna share this till we get outside," she explained.

"Kay."

"And when we get outside you're gonna get to ride on an ambulance, think that'll be fun?"

"Yeah." He giggled.

It was not long before we got out, and two of the medics came running for the child, and his father.

"Have you found Sarah yet?" he asked us.

"Who?" I asked.

"I think she's in the back apartment on top. Her mother often leaves her in there when she goes to the store."

"We'll find her," Alex assured him. "Right now how 'bout you focus on Jake?"

He nodded. "Thank you, both."

We both nodded, then ran off in the direction of the lieutenant. Dixon was already out of the building, and had cleared all but the last upper apartment, the one directly above the fire.

"There might be an infant still inside," I explained.

"Alex, and Carter, you spilt up and find out for sure."

All three of us went to start running.

"I meant Doherty, Dixon," he grumbled, annoyed.

Dixon must have been in the bad books for not checking the last apartment anyway. We were lucky so far, that no one had been seriously injured, but if there really was a child in the apartment above she'd be lucky to be alive. The flames were pretty much out, and had only gutted the one apartment, but the place was full of smoke and soot.

"Keep radio contact, all right?" I told her.

"Sure thing," she assured me.

We started in opposite directions, we had agreed that I'd go from the upstairs, on one staircase, and she'd use the back staircase. I told her to be careful as it may have been damaged in the fire. It wasn't long before I heard her voice in my ear.

"I defiantly hear a voice coming from upstairs. The staircase looks like it hasn't been damaged, so I'm head-" She cut out.

"Alex!" I yelled into the radio.

I then broadcast through mine. "I think we've got a man down, on the east staircase! I'm going to investigate! There is noise from the upper apartment.

I ran down the stairs, and to the other side of the building. Sure enough Alex was laid out flat, under a little bit of debris. The stair case had probably been weakened by the flames, and had given out under her weight. She must not have gotten too high because she was not trapped under anything.

What was left of them did not seem to be damaged, which alarmed me. I wondered if the fire had been deliberately set. I couldn't think about that now, I had to get Alex out. She was hurt. I quickly checked her pulse, which was strong, which was a great sign.

I was easily able to move the few pieces of debris from around her. I lifted her up onto my shoulders, similar to how she had done with Dixon earlier, and quickly left the building. Another team of medics came running, and took her from me. Before I could even ask them what they suspected might be wrong they were loading her onto the bus, and had pulled away.

I scanned the area to see if Tyrone was one of the officers doing crowd control, and was relieved to learn he wasn't. I didn't want to be the one to tell him that she had fallen through a staircase. Though I guess it would have been better for him to hear it from a person rather then trough the wire. There was only on female on the squad, and he'd know if he heard it exactly who was hurt.

I looked over to see Garry with the ladder at the second story window. I wondered if the floor was stable enough for his weight. If the child really was three years old, then if she could make it to the window herself there'd be less risk. I didn't want to see another of my friend's hurt that day. It was bad enough that I had to go get Alex.

We all cheered when we saw Garry pulled the child out of the window to safety. She was crying pretty heavily, so we knew that her lungs had not been severely damaged in the fire. A paramedic looked at her, then quickly raced off the hospital. When we knew everything was under control we all got back into the truck, and headed to Mercy to see how Alex was doing.

No one at the hospital seemed surprised to see us arrive all at once, still in all our gear, and messy from the soot. One of the nurses came over to us. I was really bad with names, but I knew it was not the first time we had dealt with her.  
"We think she's going to be fine, she broke her leg, and dislocated her shoulder. She does have some head trauma, but we think it's only a concussion but we can't know for sure until she's awake if there is any permanent damage," she explained.  
"Thank you," said Lieutenant Anderson.

"Do any of you know how to contact her family?"

"We'll have to go back to the firehouse to get that. If you see officer Davis he may be able to help you. But I'll send someone over for the information right away."

"Thank you Lieutenant. She really is going to be all right. She's lucky it's not a lot worse."

"When can we see her?" I asked.

"Not until after she wakes up. Because of where the debris fell we're concerned about possible memory loss. We would prefer not to have too many people in the room who she may not recognize, until we know for sure."

"The last thing I'd want to wake up to is a bunch of unshowered firefighters staring at me," Garry laughed.

She laughed. "Not me, and certainly not most women with a pulse. She's dating officer Davis, right?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Some girls have all the luck."

I laughed. "Thank you for the information."

"No problem, I should get back to work."

She disappeared, and we all went into one of the waiting rooms. None of us wanted to go back to the house until we knew for sure that Alex was going to be all right. Dixon ended up being sent to get Alex's emergency information. Not long after he returned with the information we decided that there was no use sitting around waiting to see what had happened.

I was surprised that I had not seen Tyrone, I would have thought he'd have come as soon as he found out about her. I knew logically that she was going to be fine, but I had to see her when she woke up, to assure myself of the fact.  
Just as I was leaving, the father I had helped out the building came running down the hall. He was carrying some papers in his hand.

"I'm sorry to bother you," he said.

"It's all right, how are you and your son?" I asked.

"Good, they want to keep us overnight for observation. But it's only smoke inhalation."

"That's good."

"My son's been drawing up the storm. And he wanted you to have these two." He handed me the paper. "This one is for you." It depicted a big muscley guy in front of a fire. "This one is for the whole house." It was of a fire engine in front of a fire. "And this one is for the pretty lady, his words not mine, that saved him." He laughed. That one showed a smaller firefighter, with a ponytail holding a little boy.

"You should see her without her gear," I joked about Alex. "She fell through the other staircase, getting Sarah, she's not up yet, but I'm sure that when she is she wouldn't mind a visit from you."

"She was really good with Jake."

"She's really good at her job."

He nodded. "I won't keep you, I hope she's all right."

"Thank you."

I left the building, smiling as I looked again at the pictures. They were actually really good, and I was glad to accept them. I decided I was going to go back to deliver Alex's after I got off shift. I put mine in my locker, to bring home, and put the other one on the corkboard before I got changed.

I just hoped that Alex would know who I was when I went to visit her.

end

end notes: so that is that, i swear i am the queen of sap, i think this was the hardest parts for me to write in the entire series, i'm almost done writing it actually, so cheers! two more left tyrone, followed by an epilogue


	12. Tyrone 2

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Tyrone 2  
AUTHOR: trista groulx  
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language  
SUMMARY: Tyrone again, here to tell you about what happened after Alex fell through the staircase.  
AUTHORS NOTES: all right sorry about the fluff i was doing so well, but it's the very good kind of fluff, i promise... please remeber that this was written b4 the series finale, and most of s6 didn't happen, this is the before last piece, last 1st person POV next is the epilogue which'll be 3rd person you'll know why at the end of the fic... go on read then review so you can read the epilouge!

I had heard that someone on the squad had been hurt on the job that day, and didn't think anything of it. I was surprised when I saw Carter sitting waiting for me in the lobby. I looked at him, confused, and then realized, that it was Alex who had been hurt.

"It's Alex, isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah," he replied.

"She's at Mercy?"

"She is, give this to her, when you see her." He handed me a picture that looked like it had been drawn by a kid.

I wanted to know the story behind it, but I had to get to Alex. I was still in my uniform, but I didn't care. He yelled something after me, but I didn't hear it. I got into my car and raced off to Mercy to make sure Alex was all right.

She didn't take many fire shifts, but every time she did I feared the worst. She promised me as soon as she took the job that she would stop when we decided to start a family. I understood her reasons for doing it, but I still didn't like the idea. For the exact reasons I was rushing to the hospital.

I didn't want to see her hurt, ever, and she was much more likely to hurt herself on the new job. I probably broke more then a few laws getting to the hospital, and was probably even more lucky I got there in one piece.

I realized that I had not asked Carter any questions about how badly she was hurt. All I had cared about was getting to her, and seeing her for myself. Even if he had told me she just had a bruise, I wouldn't have believe it until I saw for myself. I actually went through the main entrance instead of the emergency.

It had been a long while since I had gone through the main entrance to be hospital. Usually I'd recognize a couple of nurses in the ER, but there I didn't know anyone.

"How can I help you?" asked a volunteer, working the reception desk.

"I'm looking for a firefighter who was brought in tonight, Alex Doherty," I explained.

"Just a sec, I'm just a volunteer, I'll ask someone to help me." I saw her turn around, and talk to a nurse. "The Officer is looking for the firefighter who was admitted earlier."

I heard a laugh from one of the nurses, when she looked at my name tag. "He's her boyfriend, send him right up to her room." She came back, and directed me toward the room where she had been admitted.

I heard volunteer say, I assumed to a nurse, "some girls have all the luck don't they? Get to work with those hot firefighters all day, then get to go home to sexy cop."

I heard another laugh. "Yeah, some girls have all the luck."

I made myself walk to the elevator then to her room. As I left a man and his son were leaving her room. I wondered if she had a roommate. She alone, and wondered who the two people who had left were.

"Carter and I helped them out, of the building today," she explained, as if she had read my mind. "The little boy is Jake, he thinks I'm pretty."

"Everyone thinks you're pretty, Alex." I looked at the piece of paper in his hand. "This must be his artwork." I handed it to her.

"This is really good. I was wondering when it would make its way to me. Now, don't you look all spiffy in your uniform." I went over to the bed, and hugged her, never wanting to let go. "You're all right?"

"I only broke my leg, and dislocated my shoulder," she assured me. "Oh! And I bumped my head and they think I've got a very mild concussion, which is why they want to keep on eye on me tonight."

"Only?"

She kissed me. "I seem to remember someone telling me it was only a bullet."

I smiled at her. "So what happened?"

"There was a child on the upper floor, I heard her screaming. I thought the staircase was safe. Apparently, it wasn't, cause I fell through. You'd have to ask Carter the real details."

As if on cue, the door opened, and Cater appeared. He smiled at me, he then walked over to Alex and kissed her on the cheek.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"I'm doing all right. This cast is gonna get some itchy though."

He laughed. "I don't miss being in a cast at all."

"Oh!" he exclaimed, sounding flustered. "Did I interrupt a moment?"

She shook her head. "No, actually he wants to know what happened. I was kind of out of it, so you can field those questions."

He laughed. "The fire was pretty much out. The first family we got out told us about a child possibly in the upper apartment, so we went to see if it was alive. Alex heard a child on the upper floor, and went to use the stairs. They weren't sturdy enough for her weight. They were damaged from the fire, but didn't seem it because the design. Anyone would have thought they were fine by looking at them. When we lost radio contact, I went to the staircase. I found her, unconscious, and carried her out."

"See I was good, it wasn't my fault."

"Well, expect for your helmet being next to you."

She smiled innocently. "Life father like daughter."

He shook his head. "There was a child on the second floor, we used the ladder to get her out. She's got some bad burns on her feet, hands, and knees, and smoke inhalation but she is expected to make a full recovery."

She smiled. "I guess I do have some motherly instincts in me after all. Helping two kids today and all."

"No one ever claimed you didn't," I reminded her.

"I was just checking in, to report back to the guys on your condition. The nurse said you might have some memory, loss, but you don't seem to, so I'll leave you two lovebirds alone."

"Thank you," we both said at the same time.

"I love it when you two that!"

So she had saved a life, but almost lost her in the process, I knew it was her job, but I preferred not to think about it. I was glad she didn't do it full time or I'd be racked with worry all the time, and wouldn't be able to function normally. I took her hand, and caressed it, she smiled at me, her eyes half lidded.

"You could have died," I whispered.

"I can die any day, but I didn't today," she assured me. "I remember how I felt when you were in the hospital, and I'll say the same things you told me to reassure me. Firstly, I'm sorry. Secondly, if I could have avoided the fall, I would have, for you."

I knew those words would come back and bite me in the ass one day. She could have easily avoided the fall, she could have avoided the staircase. But it was the same as when I had been hit. I could have avoided the danger, but had no way of knowing that a bullet was going to hit me. I kissed her lightly, just glad that I had some more time with her.

"I understand, really, I just worry," I explained.

"And so do I, it's just something we'll both have to deal with if we want any kind of future together. We can understand each other's position on danger better then anyone, else, though. That helps, right?"

"It helps a lot."

I realized that she had a very valid point. Only someone in emergency services could start to comprehend why you'd put yourself in such danger. I had a leg up on my father and mother, cause she never could understand why my dad liked being on the field, even when he was supposed to be at a desk.

But I knew why we both did it, we knew someone had to help protect, and save people, and we could handle doing it. If I could handle myself in those situations, then I should be able to handle her being in the same kind of predicaments. Helping to get people out of a fire, was not fundamentally different from helping someone in any number of dangerous situations I dealt with. It was just two different extremes of putting yourself in danger to help others.

That was when I realized just how much she meant to me. I had almost lost her, twice, and both times I was paralyzed with fear at the thought of losing her. I had known when I was shot that I was more then just in love with Alex. But now I knew for one-hundred percent sure, that I wanted her in my life for the rest of it.

I brushed her hair out of her face. "Alex, I love you," I told her.

"I love you too, Tyrone," she whispered, staring at me.

"I love you more then I thought I'd ever love anyone, ever. You are my world, Alex –"

The door opened, and we both looked to see who was there. It was her father I was about propose to my girlfriend, and her father shows up in the middle of it. Could he have worse timing?

"Daddy!" she exclaimed. "Did you fly here?"

"I think I may have broken many speeding laws," he explained.

"I'll leave you two alone, there's something I need to do," I said.

"But, I want you to stay," she pouted. She actually made a pouty face, I couldn't believe it.

"I'll be back later, I promise, and we'll finish what we just started, okay?"

She nodded. "Fine."

I knew she was annoyed with me, but I also knew she wouldn't be for very long after I returned. I went back to the station house, and got changed into my regular clothes. It was probably better that I got interrupted, this way she wouldn't have tell everyone that he had popped the question in hospital room, wearing his cop uniform, with no ring.

I had to get to my parent's place. My dad had my grandmother's ring. My grandmother had wanted my mother to have it, but she liked the ring my father had already given her. Since my grandmother seemed to want it passed on through the family I promised her that I'd give to the woman I decided to marry one day. She was thrilled with the idea, and my parents had been holding on to it until the day came where I needed it. That day had come, I finally found someone I wanted to give the ring to.

It was beautiful, from what I remember of it. I just knew it would look great on Alex. I hoped it wouldn't have to be sized too drastically for it to fit her. I couldn't wait to present to her, and then tell her the story behind it.

As much as I wanted to just get back, and propose to her, I took my time driving over to my parents. I rang the doorbell, and it took my dad a while to answer. I had forgotten to check the time, and it was a little on the late side. He answered the door in a robe.

"Is there a problem?" he asked.

"No, nothing like that, Dad," I assured him.

"It's pretty late."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"What's going on?"

"Alex fell through a staircase today," I explained.

He woke up completely after that. "Is she all right?"

"Yeah, she's going to be fine. She has mild concussion, a broken leg, and dislocated her shoulder."

"What happened, exactly?"

"She was working fire today, and she heard a child on an upper floor. When she went to go upstairs the staircase gave out under her weight, and the damage that was done in the fire, I guess. Anyway, she fell through it, I'm not sure what stair, or anything. But she's awake, and she's going to be okay." I knew my adrenaline was pumping, and I was talking faster the usual.

"You need to calm down, Tyrone. I'm going to make you some tea. You're going at a thousand words a minute. Please, be quiet, your mother's asleep."

"Were you?"

"No, I was reading a book."

I nodded. I followed him into the kitchen, and he boiled some water, and made me a cup of tea. It did calm me down considerably.

"Now I'm sure you didn't come all the way here in the middle of the night to tell me that your girlfriend fell through a staircase, but is all right."

I nodded. "I need Grandma's ring." He looked up, almost shocked. "I'm gonna ask her to marry me."

"When?"

"Tonight."

"Of course, or you wouldn't be here right now."

"I was going to ask her earlier, but her father walked in the room just as I was about to ask. When I thought a minute, I decided that I wanted to wait a little while, till I had the ring."

Dad smiled. "That's usually a good thing."

"I mean, she'd have gotten it, but it'll be nice to give it to her right away."

"I'll go get it."

Dad went into his room. When he returned, my mother was in toe, also in her robe. I guess she wanted to know why dad was rooting through her jewelry box in the middle of the night.

"Tyrone, what is the world is going on?" she asked.

I smiled. "Good morning to you, too."

"Tyrone, you don't come here in the middle of the night for no reason."

I nodded. "Alex fell through a staircase today."

"Oh my god! Is she all right?"

"Yeah, she's going to be fine, just a few injuries, nothing the doctors couldn't fix up. I realized just how much I loved her when I was rushing to the hospital. So I decided I wanted to propose, I just needed Grandma's ring."

She flew across the room and hugged me. "Really!"

"Yes, I was going to ask earlier but her father walked in the room."

She was grinning ear. "I'm so happy for both of you."

It was nice how neither even seemed to be thinking that she could say no. Everyone knew that it was just going to be a matter of time before I asked her. I couldn't deny that Alex was my world. She was the only person I wanted as soon as I saw her, that first day as a FDNY medic.

Dad gave me the ring. It was just how I remembered it. A white gold piece, with a solitaire setting, the diamond was a good size, but not something over bearing. The band was rather thin, but the gold was of good quality. I knew it would be prefect for her. White gold had been less popular when my grandfather had given the piece to my grandmother. I was glad he had chosen it, so I could give it to her, without fear of her saying she didn't like it. I knew she preferred white gold, and sliver to yellow gold.

Even in the dim kitchen light, I could see that diamond was sparkling, and freshly cleaned. I wondered if Mom and her intuition had played a part in it's cleanliness.

"It's going to look beautiful on her," Mom whispered, I could tell she was holding back tears. "My only baby's getting married."

I smiled at her. "Hard to believe?"

"Yeah," they both said.

"How about you let me propose to her before you break out the champagne?"

"Like she'd say no," my dad assured me.

I smiled, knowing he was right. "I hate to cut this short, but I really would like to get back to her."

We said our quick goodbyes, and before I knew it I was back at the hospital. I had slipped the ring into my pocket. I wished I had an old jewelry box of some sort to present the ring to her properly.

When I got back to the room, her brother was there too. I sighed, before going in. I just wanted to be alone with her for a few seconds, that's all I needed.

"Hi!" they all greeted me.

"Hi," I replied.

"Would you mind if Daddy and Joey stayed at our place tonight?" she asked me.

"I wouldn't mind at all."

"Daddy, how about you and Joey get a quick bite from downstairs?"

It was as if she read my mind, that I wanted to be alone with her. The two men left the room, I went over and kissed her. She let the kiss linger, and I pulled away, not wanting to get carried away.

"I love you," she whispered, brushing her hand through my hair.

"I love you too," I whispered back, kissing her again.

She pulled way. "I think my dad ruined a moment when he came in."

"Just postponed it." I took her hand. "Alex, I love you more then anything else in this world. I've known it for a very long time, and now I want everyone to know. This may not be the best place, but it will have to do. Alex Doherty, will you marry me?" I reached into my pocket, and pulled out the ring.

She stared at me, then the ring for a long moment. "Yes," she whispered, hardly audible.

"Let's see if this fits." I whispered, putting it on her finger, I was surprised when it did. "It would seem you have the same size finger as my grandmother."

She looked at me, grinning. "This was your grandmother's?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she wanted my mother to have it, but she liked the ring she already had. So I promised her I'd give to it the woman I decided to fall in love with one day."

"I was wondering how you got a ring so late."

I smiled. "A trip to my parents."

"This was not what I thought had been interrupted."

"Good, I'm glad I took you by surprise."

We both looked at the ring, for a long moment. She then pulled me toward her, into another, deep, long kiss. She wrapped her good around my neck. I had one hand on her cheek, and the other was running through her hair. I wanted to break the kiss, but she would not let go. The door opened, and we pulled away, quickly.

Her father and brother were standing in the doorway, with shocked expressions on their faces, and coffees in their hands. At least if they decided they needed to beat the shit out of me I'd be close to the emergency room.

It was my turn to blush, though I'm sure no one else noticed. She took my hand, I felt like I had been caught making out in high school. Her dad looked pissed, and her brother looked like he just may kill me with his bare hands.

"Don't be like that," she told them, her voice calm. "We were just celebrating."

They both looked puzzled, and asked, "what?" at the same time.

"Come see." They came closer to the bed, and saw the ring, as she held out her hand.

"Is that?" her father asked.

"Yes, Daddy, Tyrone and I are engaged!" I had never heard her sound so giddy before.

They didn't really say much, and I was a little worried. She took my hand, to try and calm me, but nothing would, until her father either punched me, or he accepted what she had just said. He wasn't doing anything, and that really worried me.

"Congratulations, Baby Sister," her brother said.

Her father still said nothing. You could cut the tension in the room with a knife. A nurse came in.

"I'm sorry, Fellas," she said, with a thick southern accent. "Miss Alex needs her rest, so please say your goodbyes."

I was first, "Love you, good night," I whispered in her ear.

"Love you back, good night," she whispered back, kissing me on the cheek.

Her bother and father each gave her a hug, then followed me out to the car. Could things be any more awkward? Her father had said nothing, even when I suggested they follow me back to the apartment. He just nodded, and followed me out of the parking lot.

I wasn't sure there'd be parking for everyone, but figured we'd cross that bridge when we came to it. Luckily there were two visitors spaces, and our regular spot. Still, he said nothing, as we walked up to the apartment.

"How's Alex gonna get up these?" Joey asked.

"I'll carry her up, if I have to," I offered.

Her father glared at me. We went into the apartment. I got some blankets, and pillows. It was a little messy, but nothing to be embarrassed about. I threw the pillows and blankets on each of the couches.

"Mr. Doherty, would you like the bed?" I offered.

"Fine," he said breaking his silence.

I handed Joey a pillow, and a blanket, and he fell asleep almost immediately, though I figured that it was mostly because he didn't want to deal with the tension in the room. I couldn't even be sure if he was really sleeping or not.

"Mr. Doherty are you mad at me?" I asked.

"No, if you ever have a daughter, you'll understand," he explained.

I nodded. "Should I have asked you first?"

He laughed. "No one does that, anymore. When I saw her in that bed, I saw my little girl. Everyone says she's so much like her mother, so I try and see her as a little girl. When she showed me the ring, I just thought, where did the time go?"

I nodded. "I guess we grow up too fast."

"I'm happy for you both, really, it's just a lot to handle. First she gets hurt on the job, now she's going to be getting married. It's a lot to deal with on one day."

"I just couldn't wait. I knew you were here, for her to tell in person. I thought it was great timing."

"Maybe it would have been better to hear it over the phone."

"It wouldn't have been fair for my parents to hear face to face, and for you to hear it over a telephone line. I love her too much to be so rude to her."

He smiled. "You're a good man, Tyrone, like your father."

"I try, Sir."

"Don't call me Sir. It makes me feel old." He chuckled. "I'm beat, goodnight."

"Goodnight," I said, before getting comfortable on the couch.

It was so strange sleeping alone, there had been very few times since Alex and I started living together where we were not in the same bed. It wasn't that the couch was uncomfortable, it was just I was not used to sleeping alone. I was glad she was only in the hospital overnight, as I wasn't sure how many nights I could sleep without her next to me.  
--

I was glad when Alex got home. It had been really stressful at the apartment with her father and brother. Being her usual stubborn self she managed to hobble up the stairs all by herself. She did have crutches but she was in a fair bit of pain using them, and going up the stairs was worse. When we got inside her brother and father were very glad to see her home too. She went right to the couch, plopping down on it, happy to be sitting.

"This sucks!" she informed us all.

"So what did you do exactly, Alex?" her father asked.

"There was a child on the upper floor. I knew the fire had been not far from the staircase, so I looked to see if I could see any reason why I couldn't use it, and it looked fine. I got part way up, and it started to fall. I hurt my shoulder angling myself so that I wouldn't fall on back, onto my tank, and I somehow managed to break my leg too."

"And your head? Why wasn't your helmet on properly?"

"Trust me, I've learned my lesson on that. No one wears them properly, Daddy. I know you didn't. I've seen pictures of you coming out of burning buildings without the chin strap done up."

"She's got you there Dad," Joey chimed in.

"I'm not gonna make the mistake again. Concussions are no fun. I couldn't get any sleep last night. I'd finally be falling asleep and a nurse would poke her head and ask if I was awake. I understand why they do it, but it's still annoying when I couldn't even fall asleep."

Jimmy laughed. "I always hated being in the hospital overnight."

"Alex, are you hungry?" I asked her.

"Real food?" she asked.

I laughed. "Anything you want."

She thought for a moment. "Those omelets you always make, they're so good."

"Does anyone else want one?"

"That'd be great," her father replied.

"Yeah, that sounds really good," Joey said.

"Thank you, baby," Alex told me.

I smiled at her, and went into the kitchen to start breakfast for them. Everyone once in a while I'd hear laughter coming from the other room. When I finished I gave Alex and her father theirs first, then brought my own and her brother's out. I decided to sit next to Alex. She kissed me lightly on the cheek.

"Thank you, this is really good," she said.

"This is really good," he father agreed.

"See Daddy, he takes care of me just fine."

He laughed. "I never said he didn't."

"Then why don't you like him?"

"It's a father thing, I can't explain it."

"You're a pretty good cook," Joey commented.

"You could learn a thing or two from him," Alex laughed.

When I noticed everyone was finished eat, I collected the plates, and went into the kitchen, and loaded the dishwasher. I cleaned the frying pan, then joined them in the living room. Alex looked happy to have them there, even if the circumstances were bad. I knew that she missed her family living in New York. I knew she was especially happy that she had gotten to tell them face to face about the engagement.

"As much as I love visiting with you, Alex, I think you need to get your rest," her father said.

"I'm fine," she tried to assure him.

"No, we should really be heading back home."

She nodded. "All right."

The two of them packed the few things they had brought. We all stood up to wish our goodbyes.

"You take care of her," Joey told me.

"Always," I assured him.

"See you next time." He shook my hand.

"See you later, Tyrone," her father said, also shaking my hand.

They each gave Alex a hug, and kiss on the cheek.

"Take it easy, and do what the doctor's said," he father told her.

"I will Daddy, and if I try not to, Tyrone will set me straight."

He laughed. "I love you Alex, take care."

"I love you too Daddy."

"See you, Sis," said Joey. "Love 'ya!"

"Love 'ya back, big brother. See you soon."

The two of them left, and we were alone in our apartment. She hobbled over to me, and kissing me lightly on the lips.

"Now I get to tell everyone the good news," she told me.

"How about we hold off for a little while, and have some alone time?" I offered.

"I'd like that."

I carefully scooped her into my arms, and carried her to our room, and placed her on the bed. I returned to the living room to get her crutches, and set them by her side table. She had gotten comfortable in the bed.

"Can I join you?" I asked her.

"Always," she whispered.

I crawled into the bed next to her, she carefully maneuvered so her head was on my chest. I sighed, glad to have her near me. I had missed her so much the night before, it was unbelievable.

"This is really nice," I whispered.

"Yeah, it was so strange not having you next to me last night," she explained.

"I know, I hardly got a wink of sleep either. I gave your father the bed, and that just made things worse."

She laughed. "At least you didn't have someone who's job it was to wake you every two hours. I think she may have been jealous that I had so good looking emergency workers checking on me."

I laughed. "As long as this one's the one you like the best."

"Of course you are, or I wouldn't have said yes."

"True enough, do you know who you want in the wedding party?"

"I can't think of a bunch of just girls. Maybe we could just kind of play around with titles for people?"

"That could work. I like that idea."

"The only problem we might have is Emily and Dylan."

"Yeah, I'm sure they'd be able to behave themselves for our wedding. I mean they have been getting along a lot better since Angela's gotten out of the hospital."

She nodded. "I guess you're right. Angela should be our flower girl!"

"That would be so cute, with one of her cousin's as the ring barer." I had to think for a moment. "Luke is about her age."

"That's Charlie's youngest son, right?"

"Yeah. How are Emily and Charlie getting along these days?"

"Wow she's just full of conflict isn't she?" She laughed. "She's been a lot better with her father and brother since Angela got sick. You're not close with her father are you?"

"No, I'm much closer to her mother and step father."

"We're going to get married!" she squealed.

"I know." I kissed her.

"Emily's been wondering when we'd get around to doing it." She laughed. "So why did you ask me last night?"

"I've wanted to for a while now, but I wanted everything to be prefect. When I found out that you had been hurt, I realized that if I waited too long I may never get my chance. I was going to ask you before your father showed up. I guess it was good that he did, that way I was able to get the ring."

"It's so pretty. I can't believe that your grandmother actually had a white gold engagement ring."

"I was surprised too, so it made it even more perfect." I looked at it, on her finger, it looked like it belonged there. "I love you."

"I love you back." She kissed me. "I can't wait to show it off at work."

"Hopefully Dixon backs off when he sees it."

"Here's hoping."

"If we weren't together would you have gone out with him?"

"Hell no, I hate guys like that!" She assured me.

"So he's not getting an invitation?"

"Not likely. He'd probably tell us we can't get married cause he's in love with me."

I couldn't help but laugh. Part of me wanted to find him and rub the fact she was with me in his face. It wasn't like she wasn't into it, anytime I picked her up and he was there she'd play it up. She'd kiss me harder, and touch me more. I didn't want her to know, but I really liked the extra attention. I loved to see his face when he realized that her eyes were only on me.

I was playing with her hair, absently, just glad to have her close. I never wanted to feel as I did the day before when Carter told me she had been hurt. I knew it was a possibility that I could lose her, but I didn't want to think about that. I going to vow to spend the rest of my life with her, and if god was willing that would be until we were both old and grey.

"Mmm," she purred, when I started brushing her hair behind her ear.

I was starting to get a little drowsy, but I wanted to stay away and just enjoy laying with her. I realized only moments later that her breath had slowed, and she was asleep. I kissed her temple. I must have fallen asleep because the next thing I remember was the phone ringing excessively as someone tried to be buzzed up.

I found the phone, and let them in, then went into the living room to let them in. I was not at all surprised to see Emily at the door. I let her in, knowing she didn't want to see me.

"Where's Alex?" she asked.

"She's having a nap right now," I told her.

"Is she all right?"

"She will be, her shoulder's still tender, and she's in a cast."

"I was hoping to see her."

"Here I am," she said, startling us both.

Emily went over to her, and gave her a hug. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better, but I'll surive."

Emily laughed, then she noticed it. "Is that?"

"Oh this?" Alex asked, innocently holding out her left hand.

"Congratulations! When did that happen?"

"He asked me last night. It was his grandmother's ring."

"That's so sweet. How did he ask?"

"You know he's in the room right?" I asked, they didn't even seem to hear me.

"He just said he loved me more then anything the world, and then he asked me. Right there in the hospital room while my father and brother were out of the room."

"That's so sweet!"

Alex was grinning ear to ear. I was happy to see her so happy.

"So do you want to be my maid of honour?" Alex asked.

"Yes!"

"And would it be all right if your adorable little girl be the flower girl?"

"Of course she can. I know she's gonna love it, getting all dressed in a pretty dress, and being the centre of attention for a little while."

"Already?" I asked.

"She's an attention hog, you know that, Tyrone. Especially since the operation. She tells anyone who will listen about how she only has one kidney that her daddy gave her."

"That's adorable," Alex said.

"So when are the two of you going to get to work on making her a new friend to play with?" I just laughed.

"Not for a while yet, Em," she assured her friend.

She laughed. "I can't stay too much longer. I just popped up to make sure you were all right, and that Tyrone here is taking care of you?"

"He's taking very good care of me."

"I can see that."

"Get better soon, so you can so you can wave the ring under Dixon's nose."

Alex laughed. "I can't wait."

"He keeps asking about you."

She shook her head. "Tell I'm having red hot monkey sex with my man."

Emily started laughing. "Anything else?"

"And remind him once you go black you never go back."

"Emily, I'm going to ask your brother to be in the wedding party, you don't have a problem with that?" I asked her.

"Not at all, Charlie and me are starting to get along again. Which of the two boys are you going to ask to be the ring barer?"

"Luke, he's the closest to Angela's age, I think it would be adorable."

She smiled. "It will be. I should really get back."

"Don't tell anyone at the station all right?" Alex warned.

"I promise I won't." She hugged her friend again. "See you later."

"Yeah, later."

Emily left. I then went up behind her, wrapping my arms around her waist. She relaxed into the grip. I took her ear in my mouth for a moment. She moaned.

"Red hot monkey sex?" I whispered in her ear.

"We could try," she replied.

"I like that idea."

It had been a month since Alex's accident. Her shoulder had healed, but she was told she had to be careful because it would be easier to dislocate it again. She was still wearing the cast, and wasn't able to go back to work. She was going crazy, and hated being home all day. I hoped that the injury would be healed when they removed the cast two weeks later.

Everyone at both houses knew about our engagement, and almost everyone was happy for us. Dylan had agreed to be my best man, but that didn't stop him from reminding me on a daily basis how dangerous it could be to be with the same woman the rest of your life. I liked my partner, and he was a good friend, but he could be really strange sometimes.

It was starting out to be an average day at work. The two of us driving around, seeing what we could see, and waiting for call.

"I'm not gonna embarrass you, you know?" he asked.

"When?"

"At your wedding, they tell me I gotta make a speech."

I laughed. "Yeah, you do. I was hoping it wouldn't be too embarrassing."

"As much as I bug you, Alex is a really great girl."

I know a stupid smile had spread across my face. "I wouldn't have agreed to the monogamy thing if she wasn't."

"I want that with Emily."

"Marriage?"

"No, that stupid look you get on your face when you talk about Alex. I want to have one of those for Emily."

"Are you two together again?"

"God no! Emily doesn't seem to want to have anything to do with me expect as Angela's dad. She says she's afraid I'll stop seeing her again."

"It's a valid fear."

"I know I don't have a good track record. But I really do care about her."

"Is it only because of Angela?"

He shrugged. "I don't think so."

"You have to know for sure, then the grin and the look just comes on it's own. It's not something I can control."

The radio crackled and we were called to the scene of a fire for crowd control. It was one of my least favourite things to do. Usually I'd be somewhat happy because I'd have a chance to see Alex in action, but since she wasn't working I just hated it.

"When Alex is working do you ever feel strange that you're pushing people back, while she's running in there?" he asked me.

"Not really," I replied, honestly. "We've both got our jobs to do, and sometimes hers is a little bit more exciting."

We pulled up to the scene, and began to ask people to stand far back. It always amazed me to see just how many people would come to watch fires. It was a very strange, and almost morbid fascination people had.

"So do you two have a date set yet?" Dylan asked me, when the crowd was far enough back.

"Almost got it pinned down where she wants it," I replied.

He laughed. "There's no backing out once you reserve the location."

"I don't want to back out."

"So if there are girls and guys on both sides of the wedding party, how do strippers work?"

I laughed. "I think that it's a matter of preference. We're having a stag and doe party."

"So she's cool with it though?"

"She didn't hate the idea. Besides she'll have her big brother as a spy."

"That's gotta hurt."

I shook my head. "It's be a small group, just four of us."

"I thought it was even guys and girls."

"Carter."

"Right, I keep forgetting."

A man was trying to get closer to the fire.

"Hey! Get back!" Dylan hollered, he didn't seem to listen. "You hard of hearing? Get back with the rest of them!"

The man looked at Dylan, but kept walking.

"Hey! You can't go over there!" Dylan yelled, getting frustrated.

"But my daughter lives here," he explained.

"Then she's in the crowd behind us, or she's at the hospital."

"Can't you check?"

"Sir," I said. "No one here can keep track of everyone that's around. If she had to go to the hospital the people that worked on her are gone now. If you haven't seen her in the crowd, go to Angel of Mercy hospital and they should be able to help you there."

He nodded, sadly, then left. I found out later that his daughter had been taken to the hospital, but was not seriously hurt. I always hated when people asked us about someone who could be in a burning building. I had no way of knowing who got out alive.

I heard a crunching sound, and looked behind me, what was left of the three story building fell in on itself. For a moment my mind was racing, then I remembered that Alex was safe at home. I just hoped that all of her co-workers had made it out.

That was one of the things I liked about her being at home, injured. I didn't have to worry abut her getting hut. I didn't have to worry that that day could be the day I was told she hadn't made it out.

I had hoped tat her getting hurt would make her want to stop, but it hadn't. In fact it seemed to have the opposite effect on her, she wanted to be on the squad even more when she got back. She promised me she'd take mostly medic shifts, but she wanted to pick up to regular fire shifts on the schedule.

"How do you do it man?" Dylan asked me.

"What?" I asked.

"When she's there, how do you stay here and not go running to see if she's all right?"

"Cause when she is in there, when things calm down she always comes to check see if I'm here."

"I don't think I could keep sane."

"I can't tell her she can't do it. She loves it, and from what I understand she's good at it. She has to worry about me too. She also has to worry that she might be the one who'll get the call if I'm hurt out here."

"She's already prove she can handle it."

I nodded. "Just because she's cool under pressure doesn't mean it doesn't effect her."

"I guess you're right."

I noticed Emily running toward us. I wondered what she wanted. She got to where we were, slightly out of breath.

"What's up?" I asked her.

"Just wanted to tell you that building was cleared before it fell, there was no one inside," she explained.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I know you sometimes go see Alex at lunch. I'm sure if she sees this on the news she'll want to know what happened. So tell her that amazingly everyone was out, and the injuries from the whole fire were minimal."

"I'll tell her."

"Dylan, you're off tomorrow right?" she asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"I forgot that Angela has a doctor's appointment, can you take her?"

"Of course I can."

"Thank you, I owe you one. I gotta get back though, later."

She ran back toward the bus. The crowd had started to leave, and we knew that our job would soon be done there.

"I'm impressed, Mathews," I laughed.

"What?" he asked.

"Since when do you take Angela when Emily's not around?"

"It's a new thing we're trying. I can't believe she actually asked me to take her to the appointment."

"Maybe you're finally being responsible."

"Responsible? What's that?" he laughed.

A detective came over to us. "We can take it from here, officers," he said.

"All right," we both said.

We headed back to our car, then cleared ourselves for lunch. We drove over to my apartment. I invited Dylan up, but he said he'd just eat somewhere nearby. He never liked going up, there was still some tension between he and Alex. She knew that he was trying to change, and hadn't snapped at him since Angela got sick, but Dylan was still nervous around her.

When I got up to our apartment, I was not surprised to see Alex in the kitchen making something. She had been cooking a lot since she had been off. I carefully creeped up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. She didn't seem startled, so she must have heard me.

"I love you," I whispered in her ear.

"I love you too," she replied.

"What's for lunch?"

"Just spaghetti. How was your day so far?"

"Just got back from the scene of a fire."

"Was it bad?"

"There was so much damage to the building it collapsed."

"Oh my god!"

"Emily told me that no one was seriously hurt, and the building was clear before it feel."

"That's amazing."

"Yeah, I thought to so too. How much longer till that's ready?"

"A few minutes."

"Then can I get my desert first?"

She giggled. "Not today."

"Later?"

She kissed me, harder. "I think that'll be better."

The phone rang, someone wanted to be let up. I let them up, and was surprised when Dylan came inside.

"Hi!" Alex said, cheerfully.

"Hi, Alex," he replied. "Do you mind if I crash lunch?"

"No at all."

"Why'd you change your mind?" I asked.

"Nothing around here looked interesting today. You always tell me how well Alex cooks, so I thought I'd find out for myself."

"It's just spaghetti today," Alex told him.

"That's sound good to me."

We all ate lunch together, I had a funny feeling that there was another reason for Dylan taking me up on a lunch offer. It was not long before we had to get back out. I kissed Alex goodbye, and then we got back to work.

"So what's the real reason you came up for lunch?" I asked.

"Ex girlfriend, working at the deli on the corner," he replied.

"And the problem is?"

"I never called her back. I haven't been calling anyone back of late."

"Dylan, I thought you were trying to improve yourself.'

"I haven't been with anyone since the surgery, actually."

I was very surprised to hear that. "You're full of it!"

"No, I swear it. I haven't been with anyone. I'm trying to avoid people I used to be with so that I'm not pulled back into my old tricks."

"Does Emily know what you're up to?"

"I haven't told her. She wouldn't believe me anyway."

I shook my head. "Why are you suddenly so interested in making things right with Emily?"

"She's my daughter's mother, I should try to do something right for her for once. She's been dealing with my bullshit for so long, I don't want her to anymore."

"I never thought I'd see the day."

He laughed. "I know. I don't think she wants me like that though."

"You can't always get what you want."

"I know. I was horrible to her, I'm lucky she gives me the time of day."

"She has to so that her daughter has a father."

A call came through the radio, and we raced toward it. It was a possible robbery at an apartment complex not too far away. We got there relatively quickly. We went up to the apartment there was a young woman standing outside.

"Oh! Thank goodness you're here!" she exclaimed. "I'm afraid to go inside."

We carefully entered the apartment, and checked to see if anyone was inside, and we didn't find anyone. We went back into the hallway to tell her.

"It's all clear," Dylan assured her.

"Oh, good, I got here and the door was opened, and I got worried cause I know I closed it," she explained.

"All right, it's going to be hard to catch whoever did this, since you didn't see him. We'll write out a report, and then some detectives will contact you in a few days."

"All right."

"So what's your name?" he asked.

"Aimee A-I-M-E-E, Lafleche, L-A-F-L-E-C-H-E."

"Do you live here alone?"

"Yeah, I do. Do you think I should be worried to be here alone?"

"Here's my number, if you ever get nervous just call me."

She smiled. "Thank you."

Just when I thought that he had actually changed for the better he went and pulled something like that. It had been a while since I had seen him give anyone his number. She wasn't horrible looking, and I knew as soon as I saw her that she was Dylan's type. She had long blonde curly hair, and blue eyes.

Dylan then went on with the rest of the standard questions like normal. She couldn't think of anyone who might want to break in to scare her. He told her that once we left that she should go through the apartment and see if anything was actually missing.

"So don't forget, Aimee, if you feel uncomfortable, feel free to call me, and I'll try and come right over," he told her, smiling.

"Thank you, officer," she said smiling back at him.

"Please all me Dylan." We then started down the hall.

"I'll call you!" she hollered after us.

"I'm looking forward to it."

We got out to the car, and I shook my head. Only a few minutes ago he was telling me about how he hadn't been with anyone since Angela got sick, and there he was back to his old tricks.

"I gotta get back in the saddle sometime," he said, as we pulled away.

"So what about Emily?" I asked.

He shrugged. "She's not interested in going down that road again. I may as well see if I can move forward.

"Fine."

"Don't get mad at me. When was the last time you saw me give a caller my number?"

"That's not the point."

"I'm not with Emily now, and if I was I wouldn't have done it, but I'm not. If she really doesn't want me, I should move on right?"

"It's your life."

The shift had not even ended and she had called his cell phone. I heard him her he'd meet her at a nearby coffee shop. I knew that it was his choice, but I also knew it wasn't right to string on another girl when he knew he wanted someone else. I was glad when the shift was over cause I didn't have to hear about her, until the next morning anyway.

When I got home Alex was asleep on the couch. I found her asleep there most nights when I got home. I asked her why she didn't just go to bed, and she said she liked to wait up for me, she just never succeeded.  
I went over to the couch, and kissed her lightly. I felt her deepen the kiss, and I knew she was awake. She sat up, and I sat down. She then laid her head in my lap. I kissed her again.

"What's up?" she asked me.

"Dylan just got to me today," I replied.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I shrugged. "It's nothing really, just Dylan being Dylan. He gave me the impression that he wanted to get back with Emily today, and then on a call he gave someone his number."

"You know what, if he's not ready there's no forcing him, right? At least he's there for Angela now."

"I know I should be happy about that. It's just odd."

"Not everyone is going to turn out like my mom and dad. I'd be happy if they did but neither of them are really ready for that."

"I guess you're right."

"It's better for them to get everything they need to out of the way now, right?"

"Yeah. Since when did you like Dylan?"

"The only reason I didn't like him was that he wasn't there for his daughter, he is now so I've given up the grudge."

I smiled at her. "Good, cause he said you were a nice girl today."

She laughed. "I'm surprised."

"So was I. I can hardly keep my eyes open."

She stood up, and grabbed her crutches. "I can't wait until this thing is off."

"Me either."

We got changed for bed, then curled up together. I liked to hold her when I was falling asleep, but the cast made that hard for us. It was only supposed to be on a few more weeks, and I couldn't wait for it to be gone.

As much as Dylan bugged me about marrying her, I was glad I had finally asked. I couldn't wait until we got the date set, and started really getting the plans underway. I fell asleep thinking about how great it would be to have her as my wife.

end

end notes: so my wonderful and amazing epilouge is gonna be about tyrone and alex's wedding, that was always my plan since i started this fic, so i really hope i'll to it justice cause there's a butt load of characters to keep straight, wish me luck, hope you liked this part... so one more and we're done with this fic tear it's gonna be strange not writting it, this is gonna be my longest (words wise) fic to date... stay tuned!


	13. Epilogue

TITLE: Third Watch, the Next Generation; Epilouge   
AUTHOR: trista groulx   
DISCLAIMER: kim, jimmy, alex (taylor), faith, bosco, carlos, holly, doc, ty, sully, emily, kylie, joey, charlie and anyone else who pops up from the TV series are not mine, they belong to NBC, their creator, and the actors and actresses who portray them. the idea for third watch is so not mine, but anyone who i've created for this story are mine so ask if you want to use them.  
RATING: PG-13 for language  
SUMMARY: A thrid person POV of Alex and Tyrone's wedding   
AUTHORS NOTES: all right, so this is the last part in this story, it's longer then the rest of them, and i've used soooo many characters here it's not even funny... there are only a few characters from the show who are not mentioned at some point, this has been my longest, words wise, completed fic to date, and i hope i did an okay job with it, pls tell me what you think i always like to hear! again just remember that the timeline is a little different from the orginal series but i still think it works... the candle thing (you'll see) is an idea from my aunt's wedding where her hubby did that for his brother (very touching moment) i hope you like the new characters, and who is what in the wedding party is explained somewhere in the middle so don't worry... hehe... anyway pls review this last part and thank you a thousand times to everyone who's actually read to this point... on with the fic enjoy!

xx denotes meanwhile

Alex, Emily, Cater, Kylie, Leena, Alex's best friend since she could remember, and Alisha, Tyrone's friend, who only somewhat knew Emily from the group sat at strip club, only half watching the men dancing around them.

Alex was wearing a plastic tiara with the word "bride written" on it. She didn't liked it, but Emily had insisted she put it on for a little, while, and wouldn't let her take it off. It had been an hour since the group, which had previously included the groom, Dylan, Joey and Charlie had split up to see the strippers of their choice for their bachelor and bachelorette party.

The evening had started out with dinner, then the large group went to a couple of bars. The four men were only a few blocks away, probably enjoying themselves much more watching naked ladies, then this group was having watching naked men.

"Explain to me again why it is that we wanted to go see strippers?" Alex asked.

"Cause the guys were doing it?" offered Emily.

"This is kind of lame."

"Once you've seen one you've seen 'em all," Carter laughed.

"How about we go over to my place, and just shoot the shit?" Emily offered.

"Sounds good to me," said Kylie.

"Yeah, me too," Carter agreed.

"I'll take a pass, I'm gonna go find Tyrone," Alisha explained.

Since she had grown up with Tyrone, and was one of his best friend, Charlie was also a good friend of hers. She thought it was too strange hanging out with your friend's big sister. She hardly even knew Alex, and would have more fun with the guys, then with a group of people she hardly knew.

"Yeah, I'll pass too, I need to get some sleep," Leena told her friend.

"Awww, Leena, can't you come for a little bit?" Alex asked.

Alex had not seen her old friend she had moved to New York, and she wanted her to stay to get to know her new friends.

"I'm sorry Alex, I'm just not up to it, I just wanna get back to the hotel and start sobering up," Leena apologized.

"Your loss," laughed Emily.

The real reason that Leena didn't want to go was she felt of left out in the group. At least when Alisha was there she wasn't the only one missing the jokes, and not understanding the stories they shared. Since the three of them worked at the same place, they would start on something to do with work, and it was over her head..

Leena was grateful, that Alex had asked her to be in the wedding party, but she hardly knew anyone but Alex, who was making time for everyone, not catching her up. She knew it was nothing against her, it was just Alex's personality, but she was tired of feeling like a spare wheel.

The group paid their bar tab. Alisha went toward the strip club her best friend would be found at, while the rest went to walk Leena to the hotel, so that she would not get lost, or hurt on the way. From there they would go to Emily's where Alex was going to be staying that night.

Alisha found the place, and went inside. She found them right away, sitting not far from the stage. Though they were in a bigger group then when they had left the restaurant. She went over and hugged her friend.

"Hey, I thought you said wedding party only, Junior," she joked, coming up behind her friend, and hugging him.

"We crashed the party for the bride!" one of the guys she didn't know said.

"These are Alex's firehouse cronies," laughed Tyrone. "What brings you by?"

"The ladies got bored and went over to Emily's and I thought I'd rather look at naked ladies with you the guys. So do the cronies have names?"

"Yeah, this is Dixon, next to him is Garry, and next to him is Paul. Pull up a chair if you can find one."

"You could always sit on my lap," Dixon offered.

"The only way you're getting someone to sit on your lap, is if you pay her," Alisha retorted.

"You haven't lost you touch," Charlie laughed, high-fiving his old friend.

"What about you?" she asked Joey.

Although Alisha didn't know the bride that well, she was more interested in getting to know her big brother. She had been flirting with him all night, and she thought he might be flirting back. She had nothing to lose in finding out if they both were looking for something.

"What about me what?" he asked.

"Would you let me sit on your lap?"

He smiled. "Sure."

She hadn't noticed before, but he had really sexy dimples when he smiled. Alisha made herself comfortable, and knew for sure that the attraction, did, in fact, run both ways. They watched the show in relative silence, Alisha and Joey would occasionally laugh at jokes no one else heard.

"I'm getting bored of this," Alisha commented. "Wanna go somewhere else, Joey?"

"Where do you have in mind?" he asked, smiling at her.

"My place would probably be good. I don't live too far away."

"Joey's gonna get some!" Dylan laughed.

"And you're not cause Alex is at Emily's tonight, and if she sees you sniffing around she'll kick your ass," Tyrone reminded his friend.

"See you tomorrow, boys," said Alisha.

She and Joey then left the strip club, to go over to Alisha's place. He was glad that his sister wasn't going to be at the apartment so he didn't have to make any excuse for getting home later then the rest of the guys.

x x

Meanwhile at Emily's the group there were winding down the night, sitting around the kitchen table, drinking water, and just gabbing about everything.

"So are you nervous yet?" Kylie asked.

"A little bit," Alex admitted. "Mostly it's because I'm envisioning myself falling flat on my face walking down the aisle."

"Why's that?" asked Carter.

"Cause she says she can't walk in heels," Emily answered for her friend.

"I can't! I'm all wobbly and stuff," Alex explained.

"Then why'd you buy them?" Kylie asked.

"Emily bought them for me, and she wouldn't tell me where she got them so I couldn't exchange them."

"In my defense they look great with the dress," Emily told them.

"It's not that hard to walk in heels," Carter said. "Just go heel to toe, heel to toe, and you're good to go."

"Heel to toe? What the hell?" Alex asked, standing up and walking. "Wait that's not right. How the hell do you walk like that?"

"Honey, right now you can't even walk in a straight line, sit down."

Alex laughed. "I guess not huh?"

"Someone just failed the field sobriety test!" laughed Kylie.

"I think we all would," Cater reminded his half sister.

"So how have you never worn heels before?" Kylie asked.

"Never had the need to."

"Not even at prom?"

"I wore flats and a pant suit at prom."

"How the hell did you get away with that?" Emily asked.

"Easy, I just batted my eyes, and said 'Daddy, do I have to wear a dress? I wanna wear a suit.' And my daddy let me get whatever I wanted!"

"You were spoiled."

"No, I just had him wrapped around my little finger."

"Prom, now there's something I want to forget," laughed Carter.

"Why?" asked Emily.

"Let's see now, gay guy taking a girl who's looking to lose her virginity at the prom. Need I say more?"

Emily laughed. "I hardly even remember my prom date. Though I remember that Tyrone asked me to his senior prom."

"Really?" asked Alex, surprised.

"Yeah, it was a dare. That kid never said no to a dare. He was supposed to ask me on a date, so he did the guys one better and asked me to the prom. I can still remember the look on Charlie's face when he heard him ask!"

"So who did he end up taking?" asked Kylie.

"Alisha, actually."

"I thought they were just friends," Alex commented, trying not to sound annoyed.

"They are, he took her to prom because her date canceled on her at the last minute. I think he took someone who was more popular. Since Charlie had wanted to take Tyrone's date all along, and his date had gotten sick it was no problem to switch things up so Tyrone could take his best friend. Funny how things work out, Charlie ended up marrying his prom date."

"Fate works in strange ways," Carter laughed. "Who was your date for the prom, Alex?"

"If you ask my dad it was this lanky kid named, Jon. But I really went with one of my friend's older brothers. He was gonna be a rockstar and I smitten. I still don't know why he actually agreed to go with me, cause he was in college."

The rest of the group burst into laughter.

"What's so funny?" Alex asked.

"Like you don't know why he took you!" Emily told her friend.

"I really missed something."

"He went with you cause he thought you were hot."

"He could have had anyone he wanted."

"Have you never noticed that men fall at your feet?"

"They do not!"

"Bullshit! That first time you went to the bar with us, everyone but Carter was checking you out, girl," Kylie explained. "And I don't just mean in the group we were in."

"No they weren't!"

"How would you have seen them looking? You and Tyrone were tunnel visioned on each other!"

"I've never seen Tyrone fall so hard so fast before," Emily agreed.

She blushed. "Whatever."

xx

Tyrone, Dylan, and Charlie were at a coffee shop around the corner from Tyrone's apartment. They had lots of water, and coffee as they talked.

"You think Alex's father will be mad that I didn't bring his son home?" Tyrone laughed.

"I doubt it, since you know where he is," Dylan assured him.

"I wonder what Alex is up to right now."

"Enjoy your last night of freedom man!"

"Funny, Dylan. I can't believe that Emily's making her stay there tonight."

"It's bad luck," Charlie reminded him.

"Bad luck my butt! I bet the tradition of not seeing the bride on the wedding day was so that in an arranged marriage they couldn't see each other and run screaming the other way!"

"And the reason you're supposed to be in different beds is because your wedding night was supposed to the first time you had sex," Dylan added.

"You're just no fun!" Charlie whined.

"I think the only reason Emily offered up her apartment so readily was to keep me away," Dylan laughed.

"You're dating Aimee now, remember?" Tyrone reminded his friend.

"Emily and I just do stupid things when we're both drinking, and it's extra security. She knows that Alex would kick my ass if ended up there."

"Wait, wait, you and my sister are still screwing each other?" Charlie asked.  
Dylan had gone and done it that time. He had forgotten that Charlie was Emily's brother. He couldn't really lie his way out of it.

"We haven't in a while, if that makes a difference," offered Dylan.

"Whatever I'm way too drunk and tired to fight you right now," Charlie said. "I'm gonna get a cab, and get some sleep."

"That's a good idea, we have a big day ahead of us. Especially you, Tyrone."

"If I get any sleep. Not only is Alex not gonna be there, I gave her father the bed."

Dylan shook his head. "It's amazing how whipped you are already."

"When you decide to settle down you might surprise yourself."

They all left the coffee shop, each going in different directions. Tyrone got home, and fell onto the couch. He fell asleep a lot quicker then he thought he would, but the alcohol my have had something to do with that. He was excited about the next day, he couldn't wait till Alex was legally his wife, no matter what his friends said.

xx

Across town everyone had left Emily's and the two women were ready for bed.

"Good night, Al," Emily said.

"Good night, Em," Alex replied. "Even though I'm not going to get a wink of sleep and I'll have giant bags under my eyes tomorrow."

"Whatever, you'll sleep just fine."

"In a single bed, alone? Maybe the alcohol will help."

"Good night Al!"

Alex went into the room. She cleared the bed of all Angela's stuffed toys. She was surprised to see the bear that she had given Angela when she was in the hospital was not there. She had hoped it might be, having her old comfort toy may have helped her sleep.

She was very nervous about the next day. She was happy to be getting married, but she didn't like the idea of being the centre of attention.

The alcohol had helped her to sleep a little bit, but she still spent a while staring up at the ceiling, thinking about Tyrone.

Alex, Emily, Carter, Joey, and Leena were in the brides room. Emily had just finished applying Alex's make up, it wasn't too much, but it was noticeable because Alex never wore any. Her hair was up in a braid, and she wasn't sure if she liked her hair up like that. Leena had offered to do Alex's hair, but Emily insisted that it was her job as the maid of honour.

Alex was now sitting perfectly still on the chair, and actually seemed whiter then when she had started without any make up.

"Breathe, Al," Emily told her friend.

"I can't breathe Em, I'm too nervous," Alex whined.

"All right everyone let's just do some breathing exercises with her," Carter instructed. "Take a deep breath, and now breathe out letting all the negative energy out. And take another-"

"Carter! You're not helping!" Alex snapped.

"Put the girl in fifty pounds of gear and ask her to run into a burning building and she's there. Put her in a white dress and ask her to marry the man she loves, and she wants to run away. Alex, I must say, you're quiet the conundrum," laughed Emily.

"Don't forget the veil. And the heels! I really am going to fall flat on my face in front of everyone."

"If you start falling Dad will catch you," Joey assured her.

"I can't do this! I changed my mind! I'll just live in sin the rest of my life!"

"You really need to calm down," Leena said, taking her friend's hand. "Maybe Carter's breathing thing could work."

"No!" Alex told him firmly.

"There's always aroma therapy," Carter offered.

"No weird stuff."

"How about something simple?"

"Or a shot of Demerol that'll mellow her out really quick," Emily quipped.

"Too bad you don't have your med bag, Em." Alex laughed. "What's your simple solution Carter?"

"Chamomile."

"What?"

"Chamomile tea, or any tea really, but chamomile is the best."

"I'll try it."

Carter left the room to go find the tea. He noticed when he left the room that Alex's father was talking to Tyrone. He thought nothing of it, and continued his search for some chamomile tea for his friend.

"Mr. Doherty, why didn't you tell me this before I bought Alex her ring?" Tyrone asked his soon to be father in law.

"Because my daughter has a way of getting information out of people, and I needed this to be a surprise for her."

"All right, all right, I'll make sure she gets it somehow."

"Thank you."

Jimmy walked away, and into the brides room. He had not seen Alex's dress before, and as soon as he saw it her realized it was almost the same as the one Kim had worn at their second wedding. It was a pure white dress, with spaghetti straps, and some embroidery on the bodice. The dress itself was bell shaped because of all the crinoline. The back was done up with a piece of ribbon.

When Kim had worn the dress the back was like that so that it would be more adjustable incase her stomach suddenly expanded between the fitting and the wedding day. Jimmy always knew that his daughter looked like his late wife, but seeing her in that dress he was still taken aback, and a little stunned by her appearance.

"You look so much like her," he commented, tearing up.

"Daddy don't cry, you're gonna make me cry," Alex whispered.

"Doesn't she look like her?" Jimmy asked his son.

"Yeah, almost identical," Joey admitted. "I've never really noticed it before, but today, Alex, wow. If there was a way to look through time it'd be almost like a mirror."

"I knew I shouldn't have gotten the seamstress to replicate her dress," Alex said.

"It was great way of honouring her," Jimmy assured her.

"I wish she was here right now."

"She is," said Carter, returning with the tea. He didn't miss a beat. "Her spirit is here, if you concentrate really hard I bet you'd be able to feel it." He handed her the tea. "Drink it, slowly."

She took a sip, and brunt her tongue. "I don't really have much of a choice in the matter do I?"

"Tea's brewed at a higher temperature so that the tea can steep properly, I thought you knew that."

She thought about what he had said about her mother being there in spirit. She wanted so much for that to be true. She let the tea cool a little while, and began to drink it again. It did help to calm her, a little but she was still very nervous about the whole thing.

"All right, I think it's about time we get you your last minute things," Emily told her, handing her a jewelry box. "This is your something borrowed, it's from my mother, she wore it when she got married to Bosco. She says it brought them good luck."

Alex opened the box, and inside was a necklace. It was on a chain that made it look invisible against the skin, and was simply three diamonds that sat right under her throat in a line underneath each other.

"This is so pretty, I'll have to thank your mother for this later."

"I told you I'd take care of everything."

"This is your something new," Leena said, handing her another jewelry box.

She opened it and inside there was a pair of crystal earrings. "These are so nice, and they're shinny!"

"I knew you'd say that as soon as you saw them."

"Thank you, you know me too well."

"Your something blue." Carter handed her another box. "Not my idea."

Inside the box was a blue garter belt. Alex laughed. "Thank you all the same, Carter."

"And now for your something old," Joey told her. "Close your eyes, and hold out your right hand."

She did as she was told. She held out her right hand, and he took it. He then put a bracelet on it. It was a very plain yellow gold bracelet.

"All right open your eyes," he instructed.

She looked down at her wrist. "This is pretty. I have a feeling there's a story behind it."

"Yeah, it's been in the Doherty family for four generations now. I know yellow gold is not your thing, but it's a family tradition. Mom wore this on her wedding day too."

"Both times," Jimmy added.

Alex smiled. "Thank you all so much. So I guess it's too late to elope?"

They all burst into laughter. No one was surprised she had said it. There was a knock at the door.

"Come in unless your name is Tyrone," Emily called.

Faith came in holding Angela's hand. "Someone wants to see her Mommy," she said.

Angela went over to Emily, and hugged her leg. "Too many people," Angela whispered.

"Since when were you so shy?"

Angela was wearing a little pink dress that looked more like a tutu then anything else. All of the girls in the wedding party were wearing matching two piece skirts and tops, both pieces, powder blue. The skirts were just very simple long skirts, with a little bit of a train at the back. The tops were halter tops, which tied at the back, and had similar embroidery as Alex's dress on the bodice. The same seamstress had made all the dresses.

Since both Alex and Tyrone had men and women in their half of the wedding party, to make it easier to distinguish the people with Tyrone had blue flowers, in either their breast pockets, or in their bouquets. While those with Alex had pink flowers, which Joey had complained about, but Carter didn't seem to have a problem with.

"Thank you so much for lending me the necklace, Faith," she said, giving her hug.

"You're very welcome. It looks beautiful on you. I'm hoping that Emily will wear it one day."

Alex laughed. "I'm sure she will one day."

"You all look amazing. I should go before Bosco gets himself into too much trouble."

She left to go find her husband. It was only a matter of time before it all got under way. Bosco had been talking with Ty until Faith returned. Ty then entered the room where Tyrone and the rest of bridal party were.

"It's almost time, guys," Ty told the group.

"So this is it," Dylan told his friend.

"Yeah, today's the day," Tyrone said, smiling. "I can't wait!"

"You're not even a little nervous?" asked Charlie.

"No, what could possibly go wrong?"

"Your future wife going ass over tea kettle walking down the aisle in heels!" Kylie laughed.

"Why would you say that?" Tyrone asked.

"She was complaining about it all night last night. She's never worn heels before, but Emily convinced her they'd look nicer with her dress. My half brother probably walks better in heals then Alex does."

Tyrone couldn't help but laugh. He didn't want to see her fall on her face in front of almost everyone they knew, but it was a pretty funny image.

"Hey Charlie where's Luke?" Tyrone asked.

"Probably with my mother, why?"

"I need to ask him a favour. I'll be right back."

He left the room in search of the four year old. He found him playing with his brother, Aaron. They were playing catch with the ring pillow.

"Hey, Bud, I need to ask you to do something for me, kay?" he asked the child.

"Kay."

"After Alex gives me my ring I need you to drop the pillow and make it look like an accident for me. Can you do that?"

"Yeah, but why?"

"That's not Alex's real ring."

"Oh," he looked dejected.

"It's not because I don't think you're the best ring barer ever, all right? It's cause the ring that I need to give Alex has to be a surprise."

"All right."

"Don't forgot to make it look like it was a mistake all right?"

"Don't worry, I'm good at making things look like accidents uncle Tyrone."

"Good, now it's almost time to start, so ask your grandmother where your cousin is all right?"

"All right."

Tyrone went back to where he had gotten changed.

"All right, I gotta go, see you in a few."

Tyrone went to the font of the church. Everyone quieted and sat down upon seeing Tyrone standing with the pastor. The first two out were Angela and Luke, everyone oowed and awed at the two children. Angela had gotten over her shyness, and was almost sashaying down the aisle, her cousin hardly able to keep up. Especially since he was trying to keep the stride they had taught him the day before.

The best man, Dylan, and the maid of honour followed next. Dylan stood next to Tyrone, while Emily stood next to where Alex would be. Angela decided to stand in front of her. Next came the best woman, Kylie and the man of honour, Joey. Everyone was a little confused seeing Joey go to stand with Emily, and Kylie with Dylan. The groomsman, Charlie, and the brides maid, Leena came next, and took their places. Alisha his grooms woman, and Carter Alex's bride's man followed, taking their respective places.

The music changed, and everyone stood to look at Jimmy and Alex going down the aisle. Tyrone almost chocked up, upon seeing her. He had never seen her dressed up before, it was a little overwhelming.

He managed to compose himself upon realizing that Alex was not wearing heels after all. He had to stop himself from falling over laughing when he noticed that his soon to be wife was, in fact, not wearing any shoes.

She was actually quiet graceful, and when she got to the end, she kissed her father lightly on the cheek, and he took his seat. He thought she looked beautiful, but wasn't sure what he thought about he hair being braided. He didn't even like when she had it in a ponytail when she wasn't at work, and he thought she didn't either.

"Before we start the vows, the bride and groom would like to light a candle to represent the spirit of Mrs. Kimberly Doherty, mother of the bride."

Alex and Tyrone walked over to a small table not far from the alter. Together they picked up a barbeque lighter which had been decorated blue to match the colours of the wedding, and lit the large pink pillar candle together.

The entire time Alex was telling herself not to cry. She had promised herself she was not going to be one of those saps that cried through her own wedding. She looked at her father, who had shed some tears. She glanced at her brother, and he too had let a tear escape. She didn't know how, but she had managed to keep it all inside.

The pastor read a passage from the bible. "At this time I'm going to ask anyone who has any objections to this union to speak now or forever hold your peace." The church was so quiet you could hear a pin drop. "And who gives this woman away to be with this man?" he asked.

"My late wife and I," Jimmy said, his voice hardly wavering.

"And who gives this man away to be with this woman?" asked the pastor.

"My husband, and I," Tonia said, unsure of herself.

Tyrone couldn't help but cry a little bit. Alex had not told him that she was going to do that. She knew how close he was to his mother, and she thought it would be sweet. She also thought it was a good way to get him to cry. After he composed himself, Tyrone was happier about the ring switch, Alex would not know what hit her when she saw it, and they would be even. The ceremony continued as per usual. Alex had put Tyrone's ring on his finger.

"Ooops!" they heard little voice say, Luke began to cry. "I'm so sorry uncle Tyrone."

"It's okay, we'll find it," Tyrone assured him.

Tyrone got on his hand and knees, as did Luke to find the dropped ring. Alex, and all the guests looked on in horror.

"Found it!" Tyrone exclaimed.

"I'm so sorry," Luke repeated.

"It's okay, son, we found it," the pastor assured the child. "Now Tyrone, place the ring on Alexandra's finger, and say…"

Alex burst into tears, as Tyrone placed it on her finger. She realized as soon as he went to put it on her finger that it was he mother's wedding band. Tyrone had defiantly had the upper hand on making the other one cry.

"With this ring I thee wed," said Tyrone.

"Alexandra are you all right?" the pastor asked, concerned.

"This was my mother's ring," she squeaked, hardly able to say the words.

"Oh. Then with the power vested in me, I now pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride."

Tyrone leaned in and kissed Alex, who still had not completely composed herself from seeing the ring. In retaliation she bit his lip lightly, just enough to hurt.

"Ouch," he whispered.

"That's for making me wimp out," she whispered back.

They went into another room to sign the marriage license. They then left the church, holding hands. Everyone cheered, and threw bird seed, since Alex insisted that rice was bad for the birds. Even if it was New York City and the only birds around liked to eat garbage.

The rest of the guests went to the reception hall, while the wedding party went to a park to get pictures done.

At the reception everyone was walking around, and talking, before supper was served. Tyrone and Alex were trying to talk to as many people as they could, but it was hard.

"Remind me again why we didn't elope?" Alex asked.

"Cause we're stupid?" Tyrone offered.

"How do people have more then one wedding? God! I could only do this once."

"Have I mentioned how amazing you look?"

She smiled at him. "I can't wait till I can get of this thing off."

"Me either," he admitted.

"Sweetie, where are your shoes?" asked on of Tyrone's aunts asked.

"I can't walk in them," Alex explained.

She laughed. "That's a good excuse."

"I thought so," said Tyrone, taking her hand.

"So Little Ty told me that you're a paramedic, and Big Ty told me that you were a firefighter, which one is it, dear?" his aunt asked.

"I'm both, actually."

"Both? How does that work?"

"I usually work two days on the squad, and three or four days as a medic."

"Oh. Why did you want to do both?"

"I always wanted to be a medic like my mom was. My dad was firefighter, so I was interested in that too. I found out that my mother had wanted to be a firefighter before she had kids. Everyone tells me I'm so much like her, so I decided to see if I could pass everything to become a firefighter too. I don't know how I passed everything, but I did. So I thought I'd try both."

She laughed. "That's brave of you. How do you have time for Little Ty?"

"We make time."

She smiled. "So what do you think about it?" she asked her nephew.

"I support her. She agreed to go back to just being a medic when we decide to have kids."

"That's a good idea. Now I should find my husband."

Tyrone's aunt went in another direction. Passing Jimmy, who was talking to Faith and Bosco.

"She looks so much like Kim," Faith commented.

"She acts like her too," Jimmy added.

"I've noticed that, too. Sometimes when I talk to her it's like I've gone back in time. I know that kids can take after their parents, but Alex could almost be her mother."

"I know, it scares me sometimes. Cause I remember how fearless Kim use to be. It terrifies me that that spirit is running into fires."

Faith laughed. "I wouldn't even want to think about it."

"I try to forget, but it's hard."

"There's one difference," Bosco added.

"What's that?" asked Jimmy.

"Kim knew that she was beautiful, and she used that to her advantage. She could get a man do just about anything and he wouldn't think about it till after. I don't see that in Alex."

Jimmy nodded. "You're right, and as her father I'm glad she doesn't. Kim got herself into trouble with that sometimes."

"A lot of people could class you under that category," Faith reminded him.

He laughed. "Bosco, here fell victim to the Zambrano charm once, if memory serves me right."

"Really?" asked Faith.

"Once, Doherty, and you interrupted before anything really happened," Bosco reminded him.

"This is a story I want to hear."

"If you'd have asked Kim she'd tell you they were just talking," Jimmy laughed.

"Then she had an interesting way of talking." Bosco laughed. "Not much to tell, really. We all went out one night, and I ended up with Kim, Jimmy, and Carlos. Carlos and Jimmy had to go to bathroom, so we stopped. Kim and I stayed in the car. We started talking about cars, one thing led to another and suddenly Kim was all over me."

Faith laughed. "Never pursued it?"

"And rekindle the Boscorelli Doherty feud? No way!"

"Baco!" Angela screamed, running toward him.

"Hey, Angie," said Bosco, picking her up.

"Where's Mommy?"

"I don't know, I guess she's busy with something. Is there a problem?"

"I gotta go to the bathroom."

"I can take you, sweetie," Faith offered.

Bosco let her down, and they went toward the bathroom, hand in hand.

"I never thought I'd see the day where you were playing grandpa," Jimmy laughed.

"Time changes things," Bosco told him.

"Don't I know it."

"Sorry to interrupt, but have either of you seen the best man?" Aimee, Dylan's date asked.

"Not for a while." Bosco replied.

"Me either," Jimmy told her.

She went on her way continuing to look for her date. She hardly knew anyone there, and she was really upset she couldn't find him. At least if he had decided to ignore her after they had eaten, she'd at least know the other people that she had been sitting with. She wasn't even sure why she had agreed to the wedding in the first place.

She saw Tyrone, the only other person she knew. She didn't really want to bother him, but she was getting sick of people looking at her like she was crazy.

"Have you seen Dylan?" she asked him.

"Not for a while, sorry, but I've been talking to a lot of people so we might just keep missing each other."

"I'll keep looking."

"Good luck!" Alex called. "I haven't seen Emily in a while, you don't think they're up to something do you?"

"I really hope not," Tyrone grumbled

Not a minute later Emily came, almost running toward Alex.

"Bathroom now!" she said.

Alex looked over at Tyrone, giving him a look that said, 'they did.' As Emily dragged her toward the bathroom.

"Will you relax for half a second?" Alex snapped.

The got into the bathroom. "I did something really stupid," Emily told her.

Alex sighed. "More like you did some one really stupid."

"Don't be like that."

"Like what? He brought at date, Em!"

"I know, but he told me he doesn't love her. He said he loves me."

"So that makes it okay?"

"It was an accident!"

"How is that an accident? Honestly, I don't know how it got there, it must have slipped inside. It doesn't work that way Emily!"

"I wasn't thinking!"

"At some point between kissing, getting naked, and finishing, a little voice inside your head had to have told you that it was wrong!"

"Alex, I need you listen to me!"

"Emily!" she yelled putting her hands on her friend's shoulders. "Today was the only day I hoped, even prayed, I would not have to deal with the drama that is you and Dylan! I don't need to hear the details, and right now I don't really want to!"

"Alex!" she protested. "I need advise."

"No! Emily, today was the one day that was supposed to be about me! I may not like to be the centre of attention, but I thought I could have it for one day. One day! But that's too much to ask from one of my best friends! You want my advice? Keep your damn legs closed! If you can't do that around Dylan get a fucking chastity belt!

Alex stormed out of the bathroom, wishing she a pair of boots to stomp around in. The door to one of the stalls opened. Emily looked behind her to see who it was, shocked to see her mother, and daughter standing there, going toward the sink.

"Mom," Emily whispered.

"Angela, when you've washed your hands, go find Bosco, please," Faith asked her granddaughter.

Angela did as she was told. Emily and Faith were the only ones in the bathroom.

"What do you have to say for yourself?" Faith asked.

"Mom, I wasn't thinking. One thing lead to another, and-"

"God Emily, I thought I had raised you better then that!"

Emily was looking at the floor. "I don't know why I keep doing it."

"So this wasn't the first time?"

"No, but we haven't done anything since Angela go sick."

"That justifies it?"

"No, Mom, I'm sorry. I just want him to love me." She began to cry.

"That's not love, Emily." She hugged her daughter. "Don't fall into that trap you're better than that."

"I know, and I'm sorry. He just says things, and I want to believe him."

"I might forgive you, but there is someone out there that you're going to have to do an awful lot for to make it up to her."

Emily nodded. "I know."

In the reception area, Alex had found Kylie, the exact person she was looking for. She pulled her to a quieter corner, as far away from everyone as she could.

"When you see Emily's mother leave the bathroom, I need you to talk to her before I kill her," Alex told her friend.

"What did she do now?" Kylie asked,

"Think who, and you'll get your answer."

"Oh Alex! You so don't need that drama today. I'll go knock some sense into her."

When Kylie left, Tyrone came over. He wrapped his arms around her. She burrowed her face into his chest, and began to cry. He wanted to run his hands through her hair, because that always seemed to calm her. He wasn't able to comfort her the way he liked because of her hair being braided. He kissed the top of her head, instead.

"It's going to be all right," he assured her.

"How?" she asked.

"I wish I knew."

Joey and Jimmy had noticed that Alex was crying, and went over to see what the problem was.

"Alex, what's wrong?" Joey asked his sister.

"Everything!" she sobbed. "I want Mom!"

It had been a long time since they had seen her that upset. Jimmy felt helpless, and wanted to cry himself. He hated that he couldn't be everything his daughter needed all the time. They helped her outside, so that everyone would stop watching, and when she calmed down they could talk.

Tyrone felt helpless, as they swept her outside. He knew that it wouldn't be good for him to go outside too. He wanted to be there for her, but figured her family was probably who she really needed. His parents came over to him.  
"What's wrong with Alex?" asked Tonia.

"She misses her mother,' Tyrone told her, wanting as few people as possible to know what had happened with Emily and Dylan.

"Poor thing, it must be so hard not to have her mother on her wedding day."

Meanwhile outside, Alex had pretty much stopped crying. Her make up was running down her face. She only had one Kleenex which was balled in her hand, and soggy.

"All right, Sweetie, I wish I could get you your mother to talk to, but I can't," Jimmy said. "So what can I do?"

She looked at up him. "I don't know."

"How about you want to tell me what's wrong? It can't possibly everything."

She sniffled. "I can't walk in my shoes! I look too much like Mommy today and it's upsetting you. Then Emily!" she screamed, with a mix of anger and frustration. "And then I go and make a scene! And now I've ruined my makeup and I don't know how to fix it!" she began crying again. "I'm supposed to be happy, today, and I can't be completely happy cause she's not here to celebrate with us!"

Jimmy kissed his daughter on the forehead. "I know it's not fair that you don't have your mother with you today. It's all right to be mad, Sweetie, everyone will understand."

"It's going to be all right," Joey told her, hugging her. "We've made it through just fine till now, right? If anyone says you were being childish, tell 'em it's your day and you'll cry all you want. If they don't like it then send 'em to your big brother, and they won't bother you again."

She couldn't help but laugh. "Thank you Joey."

"When you're ready we'll go back in with you."

"There's one little problem with that," Jimmy cautioned.

"I'm all poofy!" Alex exclaimed.

"Poofy?" Joey asked.

She shrugged. "I heard it on a movie. I guess I need someone to fix my face."

Jimmy shook his head. "You grew up around too many men."

It was when she came out with things like that that he realized just how much she had really needed a woman around when she was growing up. She had lots of guys looking out for her, but there were some things that only a woman could help with. Leena came outside, to check on her friend. She had a box of baby wiped in her hand, a comb. She went over and gave her friend a big hug. Alex smiled, glad to see her oldest friend.

"All right, how about we fix you up?" she asked.

"Leena to the rescue, again," Alex laughed.

Jimmy and Joey decided that it was safe to go back inside.

"Are you all right?" Leena asked her.

"I'm fine, just another of my I miss my Mommy moments."

"You haven't had one in a while."

"I know, it's just with everything. Then Emily."

"What did she do?"

"Her ex."

Leena shook her head. "Then I don't feel so bad that I didn't ask before I swiped her baby wipes."

"What do you need them for?"

"To clean your face, they're really good for removing make up. Close your eyes, and I'll get everything off for you."

"Have I ever mentioned I love you?"

Leena laughed. "Stay still a minute." She carefully removed all the makeup from her face, with a couple of baby wipes. "Now what wee you saying?"

"I just want you to know that I love you, you're my best friend. I know that you've felt a little out of place since you've been here, but you are my best friend. I should have come to see you more often, and I'm sorry."

"It's all right, really."

"From now on I'm gonna make time to visit you more often."

"I'd like that. Emily didn't use any hairspray one you while I wasn't looking did she?"

"I don't remember her using any."

"Good, I'll take it down then. It'll be wavy cause of the braid, but at least it'll be down. I know how you like people to play with your hair when you're stressing."

Alex smiled. "Thank you, I'm so glad you know so well."

Leena carefully unbraided Alex's hair. Then she brushed it very carefully. Knowing her friend was the biggest baby in the world when you were fixing her hair. She always played with her hair, or got her boyfriend to run his hands through it when she was nervous, but whenever anyone tried to style it she'd start whining.

"I honestly don't know how you let Emily talk you into some of the things she did. You've never even tried to wear anything with a heel before. And you should have told her why you like your hair down," Leena told her.

"It's sometimes easier not to fight with her."

"So are you ready to go join your hot hubby?"

Alex smiled. "I think so. Thank you Leena." She gave her a big hug.

"Anytime."

The two women re-entered the building, and found Tyrone. He smiled at his wife, then kissed her lightly.

"Are you all right now?" he asked.

"Yeah," she assured him.

"I like your hair like that. And no make up?"

"Leena thought it would look better this way."

"She was right." He ran his hands through her hair. "Much better this way."

She smiled at him. "I'm sorry, about earlier."

"You were upset, it's all right. I just hope that I can help you somehow the next time."

"I'd like that." She kissed him. "There are just some days, and times where I just get in my head that I need my mother, and can't do anything about it."

"It's all right, how about we just try and enjoy the rest of our day?"

She smiled. "I'd like that."

Carter and his date, Dale came over to talk to them.

"Are you all right, Alex?" he asked.

"I'll be better when people stop asking me that," she laughed.

"So no more chamomile?"

She laughed. "That's all right. So you must be Dale, I've heard so much about you, I'm glad you could make it." She said, shaking his hand.

Dale smiled. "So Carter talks about me a lot?"

"Only when he's with the girls."

"So you're the infamous firelady."

"That would be me!" Alex smiled.

"Who else in the wedding party actually brought dates?" Tyrone asked, curious.

"I think only, me, Charlie, and Dylan," Carter replied.

"That table is going to look a little sparse," said Alex.

"Well at least I'll know a few more people," Dale laughed.

"Good point," Tyrone agreed.

"Congratulations, by the way," Dale said. "The ceremony was beautiful, it was very touching how you incorporated your mother. I'm actually going to call my mother tomorrow, because of it."

Alex smiled. "I'm happy you decided to do that."

"Looks like the staff is getting ready to serve supper," Carter said, he kissed Dale on the cheek. "I'll see you later."

The other three went to the head table, and took their seats. Soon everyone followed suit, and supper started being served. The seating arrangements had everyone sitting eight to a table, and the only table missing a significant amount of people was the one that was for the dates of the bridal party. Sure enough only Charlie's wife, Aimee, and Dale were at that table.

After everyone had eaten, it was time to for Dylan to make his toast to them. Alex was worried about what he might, despite all his assurances that he'd be good. There was still some tension between them because of their early encounters. He stood up, and all eyes were on him.

"So when I was told I had to make a toast because I was the best man, I thought, what am I going to say? I tease the groom mercilessly about the danger of marriage, and I'm pretty sure the bride wants to kill me in my sleep." Everyone laughed.  
"Then I thought about it, I only tease my partner, cause he's got something I might want. A great girl that puts up with his baloney, but also lets him out to play with the boys. What more could a guy ask for? Sure, Alex and me got off on the wrong foot, but what do you expect when she meets a guy that posses every trait she hates in a man, who also stupidly got her boyfriend shot? Alex and I really met after I botched something at work, by not thinking before I acted, and my partner got shot.. That could have cost Tyrone his life, but it didn't because one medic put all her personal feelings aside. Alex just did her job, and fixed him up just like anyone else she's ever worked on. If that's not love, I don't know what is." He glanced over at his friends, who were smiling. "I don't know what to say about Tyrone really, he's my partner, and he's one of my best friends. He's a great person, who treats Alex the way you should always treat the person you love. That really is something I should learn from him one of these days." Everyone laughed again. "So I wish them the best of luck, although I know they don't really need it cause they've already proven just how far they'll go for each other. Here's to the bride and groom!"

Everyone held up their glasses, then had a drink. Emily stood up.

"I'd like to make a toast, as well," she said. "Someone told me today, that it would take a lot to get Alex to forgive me for something I did today. Trust me, you don't want the details." Everyone laughed, nervously. "But I do want to say I'm sorry, to Alex, I shouldn't have come to you with my problems today. Alex is really good at fixing problems, she fixes them every day weather we're working or not. She really should have gotten a break today. She is one of the kindest people I know, and sometimes being so kind only gets you grief, and rarely a thank you. So today, I want to say thank you to my best friend for everything, and thank you for all the times you have stopped my world from falling apart. I really don't deserve a friend like you." Emily smiled at her friend, glad to see Alex smiling back at her. "I guess I should say a few nice things about Tyrone, but he's one of my little brother's best friend, and all I can think of are things that little boys do to gross out little girls growing up. I've known Tyrone since he was only a few hours old, so I have a lot of stories he'd shoot me for telling." Everyone laughed.. "I know that he's grown up now, and has stopped playing pranks, but some of those pranks are pretty hard to forget. Tyrone, just treat her right and there won't be a problem. Here's to Alex and Tyrone, who I'm sure will have many happy years together."

Everyone again, raised their glasses, and sipped their wine. When Emily sat down, Alex hugged her friend.

"So we're good?" asked Emily.

"Yeah, for now," Alex replied.

At his table, Jimmy was seated with Tyrone, Tonia, Faith, Bosco, Carlos, Holly, and Sully. They had been getting caught up since they sat down to eat.

"She is so much like her mother," Tyrone commented.

"Everyone's been telling me that," Jimmy laughed.

"She is, the first time I saw her I thought I had gone back in time," Sully laughed.

"If one of us old timers got clocked on the head hard enough, we'd swear it was Ty and Kim up there," laughed Carlos.

"Only I never dated Kim," Ty reminded them.

"True enough," said Carlos. "But you dated Alex's namesake."

"Really?" asked Tonia. "Who was Alex named after?"

"Her name was Alex Taylor, she was a paramedic turned firefighter," Jimmy started. "To look at her you'd never think she could handle the job, but she could, and she did her job very well."

"Even if she was stubborn as all hell," added Carlos.

Jimmy laughed.

"It was that stubborn streak that caused her demise," Ty remembered, sadly.

"She was defiantly one of a kind, and such a good friend to Kim when I was anything but. I thought it was going to kill her when she lost Alex too," Jimmy explained.

"So why'd you stop seeing her?" Tonia asked her husband.

"I wasn't ready to introduce her to my mother when I got hurt. She never gave me the time of day again," Ty explained.

"How did she die?" Holly asked.

"She was sitting on the hood of a car, no one thought there was anything explosive in the front of it. There was an elderly couple in another car, and she was comforting them until the firefighters got to them, when the car blew up. She didn't stand a chance," Carlos replied. "We never got along, but after I found out she stayed with those people after she was asked repeatedly, to move. After hearing that I really respected her."

"There's a story I haven't thought of in a long while," said Sully.

"Yeah," Jimmy agreed.

"Funny how fate worked out so much better for this Tyrone and Alex," Holly commented, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah," said Jimmy, he needed to change the subject. "Faith, what did your daughter do, exactly? Alex never told me."

Faith shook her head. "She just slept with someone she shouldn't have, and then asked Alex to pick up the pieces."

Bosco suddenly clued in. "She's not?" Faith simply nodded. "I'm gonna kick his ass!"

"Some things never change," laughed Jimmy.

"Let them deal with it themselves," Faith told her husband.

"Sometimes they don't work out to be as bad as you think might," said Jimmy.

"What makes you say that?"

"Look at Kim and me, it took me a while, but I finally got everything sorted out. It doesn't usually work out so well, but at least you have one positive scenario."

"That actually made me feel better, thank you Jimmy."

Faith knew that something really had changed in him, since he had left New York. The Jimmy she knew would never have gone to a wedding without a date. It had taken him eight years, but he finally became the person Kim had needed. Then in a cruel twist of fate she was taken away from him only twelve years later.

"So what's the story with you and your late wife?" asked Tonia.

"How long do you have to hear that soap opera?" Sully asked, everyone laughed.

"I'll just give you the Cole's notes version," Jimmy assured her. "Kim and I originally got married when she was pregnant with Joey. Neither of us were really ready for marriage, and it really wasn't really a happy fire marriage. I cheated on her, she found out, and we got a divorce. For a few years, I just played the part of a playboy. And I actually got re-married, but I cheated on my second wife too, and got another divorce. Continued down the same path until I got custody of Joey. She tried to hurt herself after her best friend died, and I thought Joey would be better with me. After Alex Taylor and our lieutenant died, I was worried that she might hurt herself again. We had both gotten promotions and were dealing with the aftermath of the deaths, and started supporting each other. We took things slowly, and one thing lead to another with Kim and me and we got together again, I asked her to marry me again. When I got promoted to a rescue postion in Brooklyn, and she told me she had changed her mind When Kim found out Alex was coming, she quit being a paramedic, and joined me. A few years later we moved to Boston, and that's our story."

"That's quiet the story," said Tonia.

"How did you meet Ty?"

She smiled, remembering it. "I was at Hagerdey's one night, when a very loud bunch of people came in, Ty was one of them. I knew right away I need to talk to him. I finally got my chance when he seemed to have distanced himself from the group. He told me he was there with a bunch of people from work, winding down. We talked for a while and I gave him my number. We started dating after that, and this is where we ended up."

Jimmy smiled, then looked at his daughter, who was laughing with her friends. He was happy to see her so happy.

"It's over," Alex said, when they were finally settled on the plane, on their way to their honeymoon destination.

"It wasn't all bad was it?" asked Tyrone.

"I got to legally marry you, but I could have done that if we had eloped."

He laughed. "How did your parents do this twice?"

"My dad did it three times, actually."

He laughed. "This is just a one time deal."

"Yeah," she agreed.

"So the thing with your mom, does that happen often?"

"Only sometimes, when it's something really big in my life, and then I get stressed out. I just turn into a twelve year old again, asking for my mother to make it better."

Her head was on his shoulder, and he ran his hands through her hair. She closed her eyes, and seemed to relax a lot.

"That helps," she admitted. "When I was little, and I was sick, or upset, she'd run her hands through my hair. Now it just calms me down, cause I associate it with her, and there's nothing negative attached to it, it's just comforting."

He smiled at her. "I'm glad I can help. I just wish I could make that pain go away."

"You really do help, and that's all anyone can do. There are just some days, and some things that will always upset me because she's not here anymore."

"So do you think it'll be hard when we have kids?"

She looked at him sadly. "Yeah, I know it will be. That's why I'm not sure I want any."

He nodded. "I know that. I really am fine with whatever you chose, you know that right?"

"I know that, thank you."

"It's your choice, it's your body, and your emotions. I'd never hurt you just so that I could get what I want."

She half smiled at him. "You're everything my mother always told me to look for in a guy. I just wish I could introduce you to her, and show her that I learned for her mistakes, and did it right the first time." A few tears fell down her cheeks. "That's why the whole thing with Emily hit me so hard today. I mean most days, I can put my mother's situation out of mind when I'm dealing with her and Dylan. But today, with everything around that reminded me of her, I just couldn't do it. And I thought, god, Emily just run away, and find someone better, you don't deserve that! No one deserves that kind of pain."

"You're right."

"But if my mom hadn't have gone back, all those times. Had she just listened to reason, and everyone who had wanted to take her away from him, I wouldn't be here today."

"As Carter would say, that's how fate worked for her. But that's not say that Emily and Dylan have the same path to face."

"The other thing is that everyone tells me I'm so much like her, not just looks wise, but the way I act, too. So what if I screw up like she did?"

"From what I understand, it was your father who did the screwing up, and your mother who loved him, through out it all. That's defiantly a trait you possess, but not one I'd ever want to put to the test."

She smiled. "You're too good to me."

He smiled back at her. "I'm just right, Alex. I love you."

"I love you, too, Tyrone." She looked at her left hand. "How long did you know you were giving me this ring for?"

"Your father told me today. I had to run around and get Luke to pretend to drop the other one, so that you wouldn't clue in."

"That kid was way too good at faking being upset about what he had done."

He laughed. "I'm glad I wasn't the only one who thought that."

"I can't wait to get out of this damn dress."

"I can't wait to get you out of it."

She smiled at him, then he leaned down and kissed her. When Alex had gone to New York the last thing on her mind was love, but she was glad she had found it. She had also learned what she had always wanted, who her mother had been before she was a mother, and who her namesake had been. She finally felt free to live her own life, not in the shadow of her mother, but because of her. She had learned so much about her, and was glad that she was so much like her. Her similarities to her mother was her power, not her hindrance as she had once thought when she left Boston. A new chapter in her life was starting, and she was very much looking forward to living it with her husband by her side.

The End

end notes: so that's it folks, almost seems like a "and the lived happily ever after moment" doesn't it? anyway i hope you liked this part, and this series, thank you to everyone who has had kind words to say about what i tried here, it was hard to get everything right, but i think i did some justice... my fave line in this series has to be the "you can put the girl in 50 lbs of gear..." again thank you to everyone for reading this, feel free to check out my other works, if you want to post this elsewhere pls tell me where it's going... hugz and kissez all! -trista aka dustytiger


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